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YES WE CARVE

  • NICE TRY, FRAUDBOT: Oh looky, she’s changed her story: “The student, Ashley Todd, of College Station, Texas, initially said a black man robbed her at knifepoint Wednesday night and then cut her cheek after seeing a McCain sticker on her car. Police say bank surveillance footage doesn’t show her at an ATM where she says she was attacked. Todd, who is white, now says she was knocked unconscious and doesn’t remember being cut. She now says she only discovered the wound later.” She is the President of Lies. [AP]


1:24 PM on Fri October 24 2008
By Jim Newell
1126 Views

  1. shortsshortsshorts says at 1:26 pm, October 24th, 2008

    Well we can hope that Fox’s UNBIASED FAIR AND BALANCED NO SPIN ZONE predictions will come true, now.

  2. What about her high school classmates from College Stagnation, uh, College Station? I bet she was bonkers back then, too.

  3. MathewBrooks says at 1:27 pm, October 24th, 2008

    If i looked like that I would do anything for attention too. Though I hear the “rotten carcass” look is making a comeback!

  4. queeraselvis v 2.0 says at 1:27 pm, October 24th, 2008

    Iceberg, meet Titanic.

  5. ManchuCandidate says at 1:29 pm, October 24th, 2008

    Nice try, Susan Smith wannabe.

  6. chaste everywhere says at 1:29 pm, October 24th, 2008

    The President of Lies, yes, but at least they’re White Lies.

  7. swarm of bees says at 1:29 pm, October 24th, 2008

    God, doesn’t remember being cut, but then, later, a ‘B’ appears? Yeah, appeared after she decided to turn a night of binge drinking (she is from College Station, home of the Aggies and alcoholism) and a black out into another false accusation against black people. This girl is far dumber than I thought.

  8. Hunter Gathers says at 1:29 pm, October 24th, 2008

    The cops are going to file charges against her stupid cracker ass.
    http://kdka.com/
    Now that’s prosecution we can believe in.
    Robot Devil/Hannukah Zombie ‘08

  9. ShaqsDong says at 1:30 pm, October 24th, 2008

    Anyone else get the feeling somone else put her up to this? Like one of the other College Republicans said that if she pretened a big black Obama supporter raped her all the cool kids would let her hang out with them after work at the phone bank? They were even thinking of getting some BEER, and theyre underage!

  10. She then went on to say that the Palin abuse of influence investigation totally cleared her.

  11. BobLoblawLawBlog says at 1:30 pm, October 24th, 2008

    This would be funny if she weren’t so ugly. There is nothing whatsoever funny about ugly coozes.

  12. mr.november says at 1:30 pm, October 24th, 2008

    Time to carve the s on the otherside of her cheek.

  13. Worlds End says at 1:30 pm, October 24th, 2008

    I say we name her fatty the queen of lies.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rosewood_massacre I’m just saying shit like this used to happen.

    Also in other news palin doesn’t know if abortion clinic bombers are terrorist.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2hu1NeI4M1k&eurl=http://www.dailykos.com/

  14. RadioFreeBabylon says at 1:31 pm, October 24th, 2008

    This will go down as the rancid maraschino cherry on the melting sundae served in the plastic dish of regret on the table made of rotten balsa wood in the dilapidated old five-and-dime shithole that was the McCain campaign.

  15. OffTheRecord says at 1:31 pm, October 24th, 2008

    I am a truly evil person because I just really freaking love this story.

  16. Fivetree says at 1:31 pm, October 24th, 2008

    And maybe if she plays her cards right, she too can aspire to be in charge of running the Senate of Lies, and work with all the other Seators at crafting new and exciting lies for the benefit of REAL Amuricans.

  17. Anonymous Office Zombie says at 1:32 pm, October 24th, 2008

    Obviously the bank is run by international Jewish banker Marxists who bought off the cops and switched the tape footage.

  18. Worlds End says at 1:32 pm, October 24th, 2008

    shortsshortsshorts: Fox also said the morning police preparing for riots if obama loses, if i recall.

  19. ColdCupofHope says at 1:33 pm, October 24th, 2008

    Why would anyone change their story when the first one was SO good? With the Twitter’d prologue and tales of dangerous, yet dark attackers… All she needed was a lightsaber and this would have been a better tale than anything we got from either Matrix sequels or either Hulk movie.

  20. Worlds End says at 1:34 pm, October 24th, 2008

    Hunter Gathers: Kickass

  21. It was a cunning plan.

    Look, it’s easy to criticize, but I don’t hear any of YOU coming up with a better idea for electing a walking cadaver and trailer trash grifter to the White House.

  22. tunamelt says at 2:08 pm, October 24th, 2008

    And she would have pulled it off, too, if it hadn’t been for those meddling facts.

  23. regisgoat says at 3:47 pm, October 24th, 2008

    RadioFreeBabylon: I know the place you’re talking about. It’s in the bad side of Pittsburgh.

  24. hoboking says at 4:12 pm, October 24th, 2008

    rambone: Hey, “Walking Cadaver/Grifter ‘08″ might actually have had a chance! American loves zombies and folksy con-artist ladies.

  25. Larry McAwful says at 4:30 pm, October 24th, 2008

    I don’t understand why she needed to fake her injuries. She doesn’t seem like the kind of person who’d have much trouble finding someone who’d want to beat her up.

  26. facehead says at 10:13 pm, October 26th, 2008

    just testing.

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