Wonkette
Nutty baby farmer and commie hunter Michele Bachmann just blabbed her way out of GOP ad buys in Minnesota!
Bachmann went on Hardball last week and called everybody a liberal Marxist black anti-American, which for some reason was shocking. (This is how she talks every day.) But whatever the reason Friday’s tirade got noticed, the end result was a million dollars in campaign contributions for her Democratic opponent, Elvish Whistlepeep, who will probably win her House seat now, ha ha, although nobody knows for sure because it is apparently very difficult to do a quick poll in Minnesota’s 6th District.
Anyway, according to Sam Stein at the Huffington Post, the National Republican Congressional Committee has yanked its media buying in Michelle’s district! They’ve washed their hands of Batshit Bachmann!
Two sources aware of ad buys in Minnesota say that the National Republican Congressional Committee is pulling its media purchases from Bachmann’s race. If true, it is a remarkable fall for a congresswoman who, until recently, seemed relatively safe in her predominantly conservative district. The race had become closer in recent days — the NRCC had transferred funds from Rep. Erik Paulsen (MN-03) to Bachmann a little over a week ago.
Oh, and we took this picture at the Republican convention last month, in St. Paul, and have been waiting for the Perfect Time to use it on Wonkette.
GOP Pulling Its Ads From Bachmann’s Race, Media Buyers Say [HuffPo]
Campaign 2008: Both The Bouffant and The Buffoon stage a triumphant comeback!
Back to the baby farm with you!
Cool. I’ve always wanted to see an elf elected to the House.
All that’s missing from the pic is the crocheted hat and it’s Mary Tyler Moore after a weeklong meth binge.
Gov Sarah wins the official wingnut darling pageant!!! They’ll probably put out a calendar—12 months of Sarah!!
perfect for a blingee
also why the fuck haven’t you guys posted this picture yet?
http://www.salon.com/politics/war_room/?last_story=/politics/war_room/2008/10/22/potd/
I liked her. Particularly her policy on paprika.
It’s a very nice picture. She’d look hot if not for the cray-cray thing.
Min: I think we can all agree when I say “Elen sila lumenn omentielvo, Whistlepeep.”
Palin. Bachmann. The weird long-necked McCain Real Virginia lady.
This election has really confirmed my homosexuality.
Damn elitist media filters and lefties took her comments out of context and totally misunderstood her, thanks to that awful Hairball man. Now Ellie Weewee is going to be in Congress and it’s JUST NOT FAIR!
EPIC FAIL MICHELE
Somebody said Bachmann videos fine but stills like a wackjob. This shot confirms that for me.
I feel a job at Fox News coming on for Michelle.
In this pic she looks like some horrible doppelganger of Kate from LOST.
SHE HAS TO GO BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!
She’s making the face of a woman trying to coax an orgasm out of her scared and bored spouse.
Does this mean the “Miss Congeniality” title is no longer a possibility?
Would be great if Pee Wee Herman could do the definitive interview with Sarah Palin. Can we make that happen?
She will lose and be given the parting gift, a tshirt that reads “Jesus Is My Constituent.”
Uncle Al: As a friend of mine once said: “I don’t plan to fuck her psyche.”
We fight compact fluorescent bulbs over there so we don’t have to fight them here.
spencer: AHAHAHAHHAHAH! And then they poured baby oil into a child’s wading pool and practiced their greco-roman wrestling while chanting “DRILL BABY DRILL!”
spencer: That is really the best photo of all time.
Whoa, the Republican party has something against McCarthy-like techniques in general and ‘Batshit Bachmann’ in particular? It’s a new world.
She’s preparing for her next career: answering the question “is this stuff really low-fat?” at the frogurt stand at the St. Cloud Mall.
The green screen that keeps on giving….
Fab photo! So Warhol!
A disgraced Bachmann will go back to “Working for the Weakened” and grudgingly rejoin the ever-welcoming Turner Overdrive.
PALIN/BACHMANN ‘12
How McCarthyite of the GOP to dump her just because she was being McCarthyite…wait, what?
magic titty: Don’t forget “gay.”
Uncle Al: I took five or six shots, because Sara & I were mentioning how good she looked, but every shot showed the Crazy instead of the Pretty.
Datsun510: Exactly. A half-dozen shots, and they were all scary.
magic titty: Fixed it.
She’s making the face of a woman trying to coax an orgasm out of her scared and bored vagina.
Spencer: You know, if you just crop the right 1/4 of the picture of McCain in front of the MAVERICK boys, it just says ICK….
This is an outrage. First we lost our Kitty Harris, now Michelle Bachmann. Sarah Palin already has her ice floe picked out. Don’t you people realize that after this election, there’s a good chance we won’t have any batshit-crazy-for-Jesus ladies left in positions of power? America’s greatest natural resource — squandered and lost. For shame.
What on earth will we have to snark about then? Do we just close up the Wonkette? Or will we be reduced to meaningful policy debates over President Barry’s tax plan, like the Economist with dick jokes?
A terrifying future indeed. But at least we still have that race war to look forward to…
Yo, folks. You should know there are HIDDEN MESSAGES embedded in the photos Wonkette is posting. Take the LIFE magazine cover w/Tina Fey and McWalnuts from 2004. Run your cursor over the photo and you’ll see it pop up. No kidding. And Hopey, just below, with holes in his soles… another HIDDEN MESSAGE. Now either Wonkette is AWARE of this and encouraging such mischief or the webmeister is having some fun. It has been noted here by MISTAHCOUGHDROP.
Serolf: I think they just dumped her because she wasn’t into little boys… just guessing… wait, that would be cool… going around again… someone stop me….
P.S. Madame Batcrap, above, offers a HIDDEN MESSAGE of “DUCK FACE.” Upper right hand corner. Fish about and then click.
Can you imagine being El Tinklenberg’s finance manager or whatever starting on Friday?
You call up the candidate…
“Yeah, um, El, we’ve just received $100,000 from 600 out-of-state donors in the last 45 minutes.”
spencer: Wow! Eight fuckable letters!
John Cole came up with “Bachmann Traitor Overdrive” to describe the loony congresswoman’s Hardball appearance. I knew there was a BTO pun in there, but couldn’t come up with it myself; best leave the heavy lifting to the pros, I guess.
MISTAHCOUGHDROP: Seriously?
Elwyn Tinklenberg is proud to represent Lothlorien in this important election year.
Wait, I thought she married Chandler Bing.
That picture was worth the wait. It really was.
So the GOP’s plan of spreading their agenda using attractive females isn’t working either?
Oh well, back to the jowly, self-satisfied white guys.
MISTAHCOUGHDROP: Well, I’ll be damned.
Min: We already have one, Kucinich. That and Barney the Lawn Gnome meets the diversity requirements.
Ken, where’s the ‘dumbass’ alt-text over MISTAHCOUGHDROP’s avatar?
MISTAHCOUGHDROP: Hey look who just caught up.
MISTAHCOUGHDROP: I hear there is talk of the grooming of Elizabeth HasselDreck for Fox, so keep hope alive.
It’s like that time on Melrose Place that Heather Locklear’s character ‘disguised’ herself by dying her hair, so she could break in to someone’s apartment and steal… Yeah, all right, ‘crazy’ will do.
Scarab: I’d actually prefer the smug prickbags…well….
Oh god. They all suck.
I can’t wait until this election is over and so I can never turn to Fox News again (I have to keep track of the mendacity).
I wouldn’t kid you guys. Imagine all the HIDDEN MESSAGES we’ve not seen! I think this is, well, Rovian!
Them’s some pretty lips….
Wow! I think a McCarthy will sink you faster than a Macaca!
pepe: “So you can stop covering up the points on your ears.”
god damn that’s a cute mouth
problemwithcaring: That would be good, but what sort of HIDDEN MESSAGE will Wonkette unleash on such a photo?
By the way, listening to Tom Sullivan on Faux News Radio right now, an interview with Rick Davis revealed that, according to Davis ” Palin pulls in as many people to her rallies as Obama does.” Tom went, “Uh huh. Always a pleasure having you on Rick Davis.”
I e mailed Tom Sullvan the photo of Hopey in St Louis last week. I encourage you to do the same: tomsullivanradio@foxnews.com
StrangelyBrown: you still have kay-bay from tex-ass … well for two more years anyway
Oh btw, the photo is here: http://storefrontwindows.blogspot.com/
Tom tries to come off as reasonable, but he’s the guy leading the “Socialist” charge on Fox.
Hey Wonkette, how about some scoop on John Gibson?
Did you see the Rove citizen arrest story on spencer’s link? Turdy’s a wiley one ain’t he?
Don’t everyone get your hopes up. She’s not going anywhere. I have an uncle in her district and they are all rightwing nutcases. They’re probably LOVING what she said, because it’s TRUE!
MISTAHCOUGHDROP: Okay. Listen. Here’s the thing. The “hidden messages” of which you speak are called “Alternate Text”. It is simple. If you’re using a PC just right click the picture. Now click “properties”. You will see this. Wonkette has been doing this for years. On those rare occasions when they mistakenly post a picture of Larry Craig without a rollover pop-up of “wide stance” commenters will cry things like, “bring back alt text”. This is a long and time-honored Wonkette tradition. Welcome to Wonkette. Now you get it. I hope they haven’t banned you already.
All 7 and we’ll watch them fall.
whiteasasheet: Alas, they’ll all be traveling on the same ticket when the Rapture comes. Or Raptor or whatever.
spencer: The Cold Sea: *ahem*PORNOEIGHTWAYFUCKFESTIMMEDIATELYFOLLOWING*ahem*
whatever_dc: If we have to rely on KBH for our batshit crazy, we’re in real trouble. I mean, she’s an Episcopalian for fuck’s sake!
Don’t speak it away
Don’t look at it like it’s forever
Between you and me
I could honestly say
That things can only get dumber
And while on TV
Bring out the crazee inside
And it won’t be long
Before you’re dumped and run
To the place for big losers
Where careers die
And I guess that’s why
They call her to lose
Time on your hands
Could be time spent with you
Whining like children
Lying like losers
Yelling loud blunders ’bout the brothers
And I guess that’s why
They call her to lose
MISTAHCOUGHDROP: Boy, you’re sharp as a tack. Congratulations on mastering the Internets!
Now you are ready for the second level of knowledge.
The GOP’s pulling of its ads is nothing personal, Michele. Sarah’s running low on Pond’s.
BTW: Marlo Thomas just loves your hair.
I didn’t know that Courtney Cox was running for Congress.
Yes, that is the least appealing picture I have ever seen on teh Wonkettes. Duck-lips and all.
Ken Layne: Well, a NOT HIDDEN MESSAGE from Wonketteer Mr. Ken Layne! Holy Smokes! Yes, yes, I’ve mastered the Internets and as per your suggestion, ordered the CD ROM for the VIDEO PROFESSOR and the FREE $10.
Maybe a little over the top on the LIFE photo, although the photo itself was an excellent find. Keep wonking,
Yours,
MISTAHCOUGHDROP
I think her face is about to run away with itself.
Ken Layne: That. Was. Incredible.
Datsun510: SKS is not ‘Somebody’. And now we must duel.
NoWireHangers: Mr. NoWireHangers, No, I don’t think I’ve been banned…but I do use a Mac, so that might get me pushed off this ship! Didn’t notice it until today. Thnx for point that alt text thing out to me. After I lost $10K in the market, it’s a successful day after all!
problemwithcaring: OMG - I meant that for StrangelyBrown: Seems I am as bad with tehse internetz as MISTACOUGHDROP over here.
user-of-owls: mr guy: ahem.
Elvish Whistlepeep… hehehehehehehe.
I like that picture. She was clearly smoking an Eve cigarette, saw the photographer- or Jeebus- watching, and quickly hid it into her mouth.
Michelle ma belle, c’est inutile et cela fait perdre du temps — perdre du temps.
Vous etes stupide, etes stupide, etes stupide!
blah blah blah
blah blah…
John McClain: bbbbbbbbaby you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.
Those of you in other timezones, and in the Eastern timezone at 7, tune in to Tweety. He not only mentions Batshit losing her bucks, but he almost makes Nancy Pooperdoopen cry. A classic.
No. No. No. And No.
First they took Kitty, then Bachmann, now Palin? We are burning through the crazy wingnut pretties at an alarming rate. Wonkette, you’d best find some new ones.
The Cold Sea: You gheys, now, stop it! Frat boys do not want to be fucked by you. Well, not all of them, and they need to be reeelly, reeelly drunk first.
StrangelyBrown: Still, dick jokes.
This is the year of the woman. Poor Hillz.
Too Crazy For Girls Town.
Too Much Of A Girl For Crazy Town.
I will be so sad if Bachmann goes away. Well, not sad per se, but saddish. And by ’saddish’, I mean, really really fucking happy.
Dudes really want to fuck Bachman and Palin? There is an insect called a tarantula hawk that paralyzes the giant spider, lays an egg in it, then the spawn sucks out the insides of the spider. I think these vacuous republican women are the human form of tarantula hawk. Please steer clear if you value your insides:
“Once the egg hatches, the tiny grub, initially connected to the spider by the tip of its tail, bends over, attaches its head and begins to suck. It continues sucking until its final moult. It then rips open the spider’s abdomen, thrusts its head and part of the thorax inside, and “feeds ravenously,” as one entomologist described it. As one might hope, even for a spider, the tarantula at this point is finally dead.”
http://www.desertusa.com/mag01/sep/papr/thawk.html
OH WHAT A GLORIOUS DAY!
Sorry for the CAPS, but I am dancing an elfish jig around my office and cheering.
I thought it was Elvoid Tinklespiel, er, Alwire Tanglebrush, ur, Ebay Tingletoes — anyway, I would be more comfortable if this woman blinked more than annually. Are we sure she isn’t the Duchess of Stepford?
spencer: Ah, so gay men are int he tank for McCain?
Did she turn into Priscilla Presley???
As they say in Dallas, the higher the hair the closer to God.
call me lonely, horny and desperate but, I’d hit that, so hard.
druranium: That sounds like my ex
I do so hate to go all serious underneath the second funniest photo I’ve seen on this site (the first was also Ms. Bachmann … the one that looked like she had removable eyes) but I think it’s time to do quiet celebration over the fact that when these wingnuts launch one of these public sputtering rants it’s now backfiring on them. Ten years ago it was working for them, and they don’t seem to be able to shift gears. Probably because they’re crazy. As soon as I watched the video clip of her raving lunacy on Hardball I went to ActBlue and contributed to our Elfin friend. Imagine my astonishment when I found that quite a few others had the same knee-jerk Liberal reaction.
I see green screen, yet I see no blingee! What’s up with that? We’re missing a golden opportunity here, people!
Same here. She can leave her kneeprints in my office carpet anytime.
with all of the failed repugs looking for work after this election. they’ll have to air a new show every fifteen minutes, or air a panel/talk show in the carrier dome!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carrier_Dome
She looks like Dory from Finding Nemo.
Yes, I have small children.
Dr. Zera, I presume?
The Shit Demon is going DOWN! Not even her orc-hordes can save her now, look they’re all fallng into the opening fissures in the ground. And ….why do I see giant eagles?
Here’s yer goddamn Blingee: http://blingee.com/blingee/view/73846610-Spooky-Crazy-Michele
You lazy fucks.
Is that Nancy Sinatra back in ‘67?
Again, I feel like I’m sleeping in a basket of kittens. Totally awesome.
Rusty Shackleford:
I see green screen…blingee too
I see em bloom…for me and for you
And I think to myself…what a wonderful world.
Bostoprov: FTW! Bal’a dash, malanore.
I see a future fucking Doctor Who two-parter out of this debacle. David Tennant travels to an alternate Earth where Palin and Bachman are christofascist rulers of a global empire. They both wear the retro crimson leather Thriller shit and have KJV bibles as their shoulder boards. To defeat them he must engage in a threesome, err, foursome, along with a semi-corporeal Rose Tyler decked out in SS regalia. This is too much for the good doctor and he fails in his performance, dying, and then regenerating into the eleventh doctor, Pat Buchanan. The show will then take on a more fascist tone and everything British about it will be swept away.
Hey, is that a green background on that video? Did Colbert do a green screen challenge of this?
Michelle Bachmann has some nice pipe fitting lips, if ya know what I mean, heh, heh, heh.
Bachmann the Crazy Queen of MN-6 is close to doing the impossible: losing a solid GOP congressional district to someone named Erlberm Hincklehorner or whatever. I sent money to Erlmerg Tinkerbell, but it would not really be a bad thing to keep this death camp woman guard around for another two years, just to provide us with some laughs. Pelosi can assign her a new office down behind the furnace.
I never knew Mary Tyler Moore was such a crazee.
spencer: Rusty Shackleford: You rang?
http://blingee.com/blingee/view/73852583-Princess-CrazyCrazy-Michele-Bachmann
It’s thats crazy bitch Shannon Doherty!
Reefpilot: maybe it’s just me, but i think pat buchanan would be miscast.
http://tinyurl.com/64s9cz
HAH!
/Users/nickcarb/Desktop/bachmann.jpg
This Blingee stuff is fun- too bad there isn’t a Donald Duck Blingee graphic, though…
All hail crazy Queen Michele!
One more…
Quacky Michele
You know how you’re at a cafe or somewhere and this woman walks in and she looks, well, yummy, she’s got that fetching curve to her lips that suggests mischief of the best kind, and there’s that lithe, lean body, “pneumatic” as my grandpa would say when we went out for penny candies without grandma, and you want to sidle up to her (grandpa’s words) and make idle conversation, hoping that just maybe you’ll hit the Love Lotto and she’ll get that forbidden glint in her eyes…
…and then she opens her mouth and it’s like an Arctic blast of skin-peeling pain, the shrill cackling of a sewer witch, and your teeth start to itch and you get the jimmylegs and your bladder swells and you have to talk louder to your friend, like fingers to the ears and LA LA LA, LA LA LA, to drown out the nails-on-chalkboard misery, and you can’t even look at your bud because you’re both humiliated to be in the same room with her and ashamed this she-troll could ever have been an object of your desire, however autonomic and fleeting?
It’s like that.
Fuckin’ asswipes like Bachman give a bad name to the great state of Minnesota.
StrangelyBrown: If the only the Duggar lady would run for office…
robanybody: Thanks for your honesty. And for not capping it off with “I’d still hit it”.
druranium: My restraint was due in large part to your mini-treatise on the tarantula hawk, for which I thank YOU. In fact, I think your write-up should be mandatory reading at those pre-nuptial counseling sessions the fundie churches do. Could help reduce the number of unwanted GOP nutwad babies.
nuckingfutz: blingee win.
StrangelyBrown: You know, I agree. Will they ever run out of brunette “hoors” to push the agenda in a penetrating, bipartisan way? IDON’TTHINKSOOOOOOO.
Can I get a witness
sezme: I am old and forgetful. I knew if I threw it out there SOMEBODY ELSE would set me straight. Thank you for your help. I would be glad to duel tomorrow, after I’ve had a good night’s sleep.
After losing the upcoming election, Bachman goes on to co-star with Katherine Harris in “Batshit crazy Ex-Congresswomen Go Wild” on location during Spring Break in Cancun, where they win the human taco contest.
Ann Coulter, Nancy Reagan, Marilyn Quale, Ms Moosefart, Peggy Noonan- The list goes on.
I know I’ve said this before, but it warrants repeating:
The Republican Party produces some scary wimminz. (It’s really not surprising that so many of their menfolk develop teh wide stance…)
But there’s still plenty of middle-aged men and women who want to have sex with her!!!
thefrontpage: with the right ball-gag, i would, too
“Elvish Whistlepeep”
Laughed my ass off, thanks Ken.
spencer: ask and you shall receive…
http://blingee.com/blingee/view/73882167-Maverick
They’re throwing her under the bus, taking her hat out of the ring and getting in the tank.