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HAVE A DRINK ON ME

  • LIVE LIKE A SUICIDE: At least one U.S. index is rising — American Suicide! More people are killing themselves, especially middle-aged people. [LA Times]


2:23 PM on Tue October 21 2008
By Ken Layne
833 Views

  1. Juice-IL says at 2:26 pm, October 21st, 2008

    Woo-Hoo! Saving Social Security!

    Christopher Buckley should be proud.

  2. shortsshortsshorts says at 2:27 pm, October 21st, 2008

    You can blame David Vitter, and Vitter alone for this rise in the middle-age suicide rate. You can also blame the WORLD MAN, for oppressing you.

  3. Finally, an answer to our social security worries.

  4. Juice-IL: Curse your quick-witocity.

  5. Is that focused on any particular street or from any particular floor?

  6. nosnikreplliw says at 2:30 pm, October 21st, 2008

    probably a spike in the numbers after airing that bachmann interview

  7. Neon Trotsky says at 2:32 pm, October 21st, 2008

    Crumbling infrastructure, government corruption, a huge and growing wealth gap, outbursts of xenophobia and nationalism, now with the higher suicide rate I think we’ve finally become just like post-Soviet Russia. No wonder John McCain seeks funding from the Russkies–he’ll be our very own Putin and complete the cycle…

  8. BobLoblawLawBlog says at 2:32 pm, October 21st, 2008

    I’ll just bet this isn’t among the racist old fuckwits at Palin rallies. And the idiocracy consolidates.

  9. Tommy Says Soooo says at 2:34 pm, October 21st, 2008

    Suicide is gunplay for ugly people.

  10. whore4hope says at 2:34 pm, October 21st, 2008

    USA!

  11. Special Agent Jack Mehoff says at 2:35 pm, October 21st, 2008

    This is terrible news, for an early adopter such as myself. Oh well whatever it takes to be on the cutting edge. *bang*

  12. LauraJune says at 2:35 pm, October 21st, 2008

    It’s just there’s all this pressure to be, you know, quick-witted on the internet.

  13. Don’t these people know that it is against the law?

  14. shortsshortsshorts says at 2:44 pm, October 21st, 2008

    We are a nation of Emos.

  15. Larry Fine says at 2:45 pm, October 21st, 2008

    From watching American television I have concluded that suicide would be funnier if it involved a child thowing an obect and hitting an adult male in the nuts, before that adult male performed suicide.

  16. Naked Bunny with a Whip says at 2:49 pm, October 21st, 2008

    Suicide: The preferred lifestyle choice in today’s society for people who have both brains and balls.

  17. Thanks Ken, you really know how to perk up my day! Fucker.

  18. shortsshortsshorts: I blame Celine Dion.

  19. Tommy Says Soooo says at 2:54 pm, October 21st, 2008

    Hey, if Walnuts can do it on live teevee, don’t be surprised by the copycats.

  20. The article goes on to say it has something to do with “Frank TV”, whatever that is.

  21. SayItWithWookies says at 2:56 pm, October 21st, 2008

    Untreated depression is the leading cause of suicide, he said.

    Wow. WTF did we do before science?

  22. I think Palin’s voice is also a factor. I had to go on Wellbutrin myself.

  23. LauraJune says at 2:56 pm, October 21st, 2008

    NYNYNY: This made ha ha inside me.

  24. Inadequate Blackmail says at 2:56 pm, October 21st, 2008

    Well, that’s one way to get out of paying 4% more in taxes next year.

  25. Doglessliberal says at 2:57 pm, October 21st, 2008

    Tommy Says Soooo: hey, it is going to be on TV (not the suicide part, just the dying part). We are such a classy country.

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/10/20/AR2008102003114.html

  26. ManchuCandidate says at 2:58 pm, October 21st, 2008

    Through 24 hour TV I see
    visions of the things to be
    Of Shit to be dumped on me
    I realize and I can see…

  27. problemwithcaring says at 2:59 pm, October 21st, 2008

    Ken, your a faunt of good news this afternoon. How is the Southern California real estate market doing?

  28. BobLoblawLawBlog says at 3:02 pm, October 21st, 2008

    shortsshortsshorts: And me without a flat iron. :(

  29. freakishlystrong says at 3:04 pm, October 21st, 2008

    Doglessliberal: That is- Whaaa?..Holy Shit..that’s real?

  30. Doglessliberal says at 3:05 pm, October 21st, 2008

    freakishlystrong: You cannot do parody anymore.

  31. keepinitrealyo says at 3:08 pm, October 21st, 2008

    spencer: In less enlightened times they’d have hung you for it.

  32. If I really thought McCain was going to win, I’d be tempted. Better dead than red, dontcha know.

  33. Gee, just my age group. I can understand why.

  34. Also, I can tell you that 9/11 has nothing to do with it.

  35. Harvey Birdman says at 3:44 pm, October 21st, 2008

    I can’t wait for suicide booths.

  36. WagTehGod says at 3:52 pm, October 21st, 2008

    Sweet, less competition for the few jobs that are left in this country!

  37. Delicious says at 4:04 pm, October 21st, 2008

    Didn’t George Carlin suggest we have a Suicide Channel?

  38. Dawn Keipuntsh says at 4:30 pm, October 21st, 2008

    Time takes a cigarette, puts it in your mouth
    You pull on your finger, then another finger, then your cigarette…

  39. junkscience says at 5:53 pm, October 21st, 2008

    So my share of the national debt just went up? Thanks a lot fuckers.

  40. problemwithcaring: If you’ve got it, faunt it.

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