Wonkette
WE MISS YOU TOO, MITT: “What happens tonight is that the momentum shifts. It goes from being all Obama to being all McCain. And you’re going to see over the coming days a slow but sure increase in John McCain’s standing and narrowing in the polls. They’re going to be writing about John McCain comeback kid.” [Mitt Romney on Fox News]
Is Mitt going to commit suicide the day after the election? Or just keep talking about how John McCain is going to win it? Either one would be OK with me.
We miss you in Massachusetts, Mitt. Not. Douchenozzle.
Yeah, yeah, sure, Mitts.
And that large long flaming object headed toward Walnuts’ A-4 Skyhawk of a campaign actually is a birthday candle, rather than a SAM-2 Guideline.
In other news, the Pope has renounced the Catholic Church’s ban on birth control and abortion, Ann Coulter is the new PETA spokesperson, Ireland has decided to rejoin the United Kingdom, and scientists have announced that a steady diet of potato chips and Kentucky Fried Chicken actually lowers the cholesterol count.
My problem with mittens is the same problem i have with all the wingnut surrogates. When they talk they look like they have a mouthful of shit and they are trying to convince you that its “good” shit. Kinda like the lipstick on the pig, sarah palin is still a pig with or without lipstick. or like the pine air freshner in your car, your car still smells like ass and feet but now it smells like you have a christmas tree in the trunk. ok where was i , oooh i ran outta breadcrumbs
That Obama dude was such a flash in the pan. Hell, I barely remember him.
Delusional, Party of One. Delusional, Party of One. Your table is now available.
I, for one, am not surprised. He still thinks he shook hands with MLK (he didn’t.)
The press is, if nothing, a crowd of overfed herbivores prone to herd mentality. Unfortunately for McCain the bovines are not prone to follow grumpy old men into the abyss.
“comeback” what? comeback coot more like. …or maybe just “coot”
Is this the same FoxNews whose viewers picked Obama as the winner of the debate last night by something like 67%?
That’s right Mitt! And Cheney farts gumdrops and rainbows too!
You know, Mittens. Maybe once this is all over, we can get together for some tube steak and fudge.
I watched Mitt and Sean Hannity stroking each other off last night post-debate on Fox and it was similarly hilarious.
Future historians will call this the “Diebold Narrative.”
Thus begins “Joe the plumber-gate”
I had always assumed that Baghdad Bob was going to get to do this stuff full time, the same way we hired Werner Von Braun from the Nazis after we won THAT war.
oh mitt, so so so dumb. but id still do him.
Mitt Romney is the new Baghdad Bob.
doing my best Don Mischer imitation: “Drop the fucking balloons, already!!”
Mittens needs to step out of the fudge tank.
Last night Mittens was almost convincing, but being drunk always makes me question reality.
Is Mittens alluding to McCain’s secret alternative lifestyle???
I have a gigantic dick. I have a gigantic dick.
If I’ve learned anything from the republicans it’s that if I repeat a lie enough times, it becomes true. That, and I have a gigantic dick. Gigantic.
Mittens is obviously deaf. Only a man who can’t actually hear what he’s saying could’ve uttered those words.
Or a raging idiot.
Mitt Romney: Crack Smoker
Maybe Joe The Plumber can do some work on Mitt’s ASS…it appears to be plumbed to his mouth.
perhaps - still angry w/ McCain, subtly twisting the knife…oh, nevermind. it’s mittens.
comeback? comeback? come back to the raft, mitt honey …
Aren’t those business school types supposed to understand stats, and trends and all that other crap? Mitt must have skipped that class to go play polo or something.
Monty! LOL. Fill up that bag of breadcrumbs and keep going, please.
blackdontcrack: Biden is the only acceptable Botox Queen with Questionable Hair crush allowed here, sorry.
What happens tonight is that the momentum shifts. It goes from being all Obama to being all McCain. And if you vote for McCain now, I’ll throw in a free undercoat and knock 3% off your income tax. Seriously, what do I have to do to get you in a John McCain today?
Slimeball.
ugh Biden is so bleahz!!!
can i still crush on Senator John Thune? His hair is AMAZING! His ever-tanned skin is darker than Obama’s!
The Repubs should have nominated Romney. Romney is a real republican. He can spout blatant falsehoods without flinching. McCain makes stupid faces and smirks when he lies.
Serolf Divad: ew ew ew. Not a nice image. Not Teh Porn we can believe in!
Keram2: $0 now and you drive away in a McCain!**
**copious and frequent PAC donations due beginning January 21, 2009.
This only furthers any assumptions about Mormons being delusional ass-bots.
“….And, and…..then there will be a really HUGE celebration and like THOUSANDS of red, white, and blue balloons ‘n stuff and me shaking hands with Hanky Paulson at my innauguration as Treasury Secretary…and I just love WALNUTS! so much, and would love to,um, serve under him, if you know what I mean…
“I swear, if Mormans ever had boners I would have the biggest one right now! A big, white, clean Morman boner…really…that’s me!”
Get thee behind me, Spongebob MagicUnderpants.
There is nothing false in what Mittens says. McCain’s numbers will see a slow and steady increase as we approach election day. Unfortunately at the rate they will rise Walnuts will need six more months to catch up.
If Mitt had all the answers he’d be the one debating Obama.
FAIL.
How the hell is Mitt supposed to run in 2012 if republicans win this year? USE YOUR FAT HEAD!
AnnieGetYourFun: Suicide? He’s their man in 2012.
Or let the heavens fall!
Y’see, its just like in Battlefield Earth, greatest book of all time. Johnny Goodboy Tyler McCain will launch the ultimate comeback when he finds his old Vietnam fighter jets, and then he’ll totally crush the Obama-Biden-Socio-Terror-Psychlocrats. Also, he’ll ban gay marriage.
But what does Mitt’s dog think of his master’s adroit prognostications?
The answer, my friends, is blowing in the wind. The answer? Blowing in the wind.
I wonder if we should tell Mitt that his wildly unpopular and amazingly incompetent lieutenant governor lost to Deval Patrick in the gubernatorial race 2 years ago.
Comeback “KID”?!? I doubt that. Good thing he’s so pretty.
Oh wow, this is kind of unusual for me, but I had the *WEIRDEST* dream last night. I dreamt Mitt Romney was the governor of a fairly important state and had the respect and admiration of the majority of his constituents.
Also Chris Rock was the pope and had this big, long staff that shot out green lightning bolts (which turned into Chicago-style stuffed pizzas when they hit the ground) and Hillary Clinton and Mike Huckabee in star trek outfits were taking turns rubbing slices of pizza all over each others’ bodies and laughing like maniacs. John McCain was sitting gently sobbing in leaky kiddie pool full of rancid looking yellow water, wearing nothing but an extra large diaper, while Cindy and Tiny Fey (I think) rubbed some sort of white ointment on his shoulders saying things “Oopsie, baby made boo-boo.” mover and over again.
But y’know, I can’t get over that part about Romney, that was pretty weird.
Hahaha, suck it libtards! After you get a taste of a Muslin in office, you will bow to your Mormon masters! Oh ye wingnuts of little faith, you bitched about Mormons disturing the religious right, wait until you see a madrassah in Utah!
Then you will come home. The Mormons believe in the Prodigal Son, albeit prefaced by a righteous asskicking.
And you will have your PBS and Logo TV replaced by the Osmond Channel. Hahahaha!
shortsshortsshorts: Hey man, I was raised Mormon!!
So, you know, that’s pretty much on the money. I’m recovered now…deprogramming and good tequila being what it is and all…
Of course, the gap will narrow. There hasn’t been a campaign in modern history that’s flamed out this badly. But McCain’s still lookin’ at a Mondale/Dukakis-ing at this rate.
nurple: There hasn’t been a campaign in modern history that’s flamed out this badly.
I daresay you forget Harvey Fierstein’s quixotic campaign to become Rodeo Queen of El Paso.
Which just goes to show that Mormons will believe anything.
Not that there’s anything WRONG with that.
maybe barbie will run for supreme leader in 2012 and mittens will be her vp to help with the numbers n stuff. I mean what more does she need..k wait maybe a globe for starters…oh and dont forget the alaska book of ethics laws, well its not really a book more of a pamphlet and they arent really laws more like guidelines…lets see what else….. oh maybe we could all chiop in and by her a fricken CLUE, i would but i gave all my money to hopey and by the way what is hiding in mctestys left cheek? whatever it is they need to let it out to pee, its been there awhile.
mittens/bible spice ‘12
Tommy Says Soooo: Is there any chance that the Republicans couldn’t help but stick a bunch of ego-driven also-rans to run for President last year, because the really worthwhile candidates knew they didn’t have a chance in hell to win? This is a Democrat year, and even boring Dodd could have made it.
Which is a roundabout way of saying, “We’re voting in a terrorist, because we’re still scared of those crazy polygamists.”
From that picture, I’m thinking Mittens might be Black Jesus.
In other news, pigs are flying.
Soon enough, mittens will stick walnutz on the roof of his car, and drive off to election 2012.
So, whose back is this 72-year-old kid going to be coming on?
Guys & Gals, who do you think will announce their 2012 presidential bid first: Sarah Palin or Mitt?
Mitt Romney looks more like a real-life Mr. Fantastic than anyone I’ve ever seen.
Eds.: Could you please put up an alternative pic of Ye Olde Fudge Packer Hands? Between the blinding glow coming from his Holy Panties and the gorilla-hair on his arms and hands, it’s all just too damn much.
Meth Lab for Cutie: Hah! You know, there’s another line from Huckelberry Finn that applies to that there debate:
“H’aint we got all the fools in town on our side? And ain’t that a big enough majority in any town?”
DoktorZoom: Cripes, I misspelled “Huckleberry.” Can they revoke my English PhD?
Rodney Badger: Mittens. Sarah Palin has to try to unfuck herself from the continuing scandal of her governance in Alaska. It will not be pretty.
I see that denial now flows through Utah. Who knew?
MiTT haz The MATHS ha!!!ick11
Godot: Holy Shit, you’re right. And his super power is his ablity to stretch the truth to near unimaginable lengths.
If you already believe in the talking salamander; a McCain victory isn’t much more of a stretch.
Yay! It’s going to be all rainbows and butterflies for McCain and the GOP from now on!
Fox News edited out the part where he said McCain would invite the Dodgers over to the White House to celebrate their World Series victory.
DoktorZoom: no it can never be revoked. good thing too, because those things are gonna be real valuable in the truck nutz economy …
nurple: The numbers show that McGrumpus in the tank. Really, with the snoopy hat and everything.
Meth Lab for Cutie: I understand that plumbers make over $250K a year…
SCOURGE of liberal peasants, CHAMPION of eastern brahmin mormons and true blue, keep them in their place fiscal conservatism, BELIEVER of magic underpants, Willard “Mittens” Romney deliver us, please o please, from this jihadist, socialist, Islamist, Marxist agenda that seeks to impose lower cost healthcare, affordable college and investments in infrastructure and alternative fuels.
Someone should tell Mitt that his “repealing Prohibition was legislating from the bench” schtick isn’t going to go over with Joe Six-pack in 2012.