AMERICA'S WORST GOVERNOR  2:38 am October 15, 2008

by Ken Layne

REMEMBER DRUNKY McRAPEY? Jim Gibbons is this incredibly dull/stupid cretin-crook Republican congressman who somehow became governor of Nevada, in the middle of some awful cheap sex-assault scandal. Now his wife has finally left him, the Feds are investigating all his crookedness, people are noticing that he hasn’t actually shown up to work this year, and the Vegas cocktail waitress he (allegedly) threatened to rape and murder has just filed a federal lawsuit against him, for being a scumbag. [Reno and its Discontents/Las Vegas Gleaner]

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 29 comments }

demtard October 15, 2008 at 2:42 am

He’ll be serving in Congress in no time, but he’ll have to learn to like boys if he wants to stay Republican.

ParallelComics October 15, 2008 at 2:52 am

Will this clown please get the fuck out of office so Palin can have a few months of being the worst governor in the nation before losing the election and being jailed for WASTING THE ENTIRE NATION’S GODDAMN TIME!?

zhubajie October 15, 2008 at 3:39 am

How did he get elected in the first place?

Edward Bulwer-Lytton October 15, 2008 at 4:06 am

[re=133906]zhubajie[/re]: Guy’s a complete joke – but he commands enough loyalty among the professional staffer/consultant class and the party “insider” types, one of whom recently insisted to me that he was being unfairly maligned. I dunno…you know how those people are. Douche…

Lionel Hutz Esq. October 15, 2008 at 4:16 am

And yet how many stories has the MSM run on this? None, that how many. Damn Conservative biased media.

[re=133906]zhubajie[/re]: Vegas, baby.

Sabre_Justice October 15, 2008 at 4:56 am

I expect bi-hourly updates.

gurukalehuru October 15, 2008 at 7:25 am

Could you find a better picture of Chrissie Mazzeo, please. That looks like that crazy runaway bride from Florida, remember her?

bitchincamaro October 15, 2008 at 7:34 am

Having read the links, I now must shower. Again. Thanks Ken.

gurukalehuru October 15, 2008 at 7:35 am

Also, totally OT but Huffpo has a story, via the Chicago Tribune, about an e-mail that McCain’s brother Joe that he sent to all the Republicans everywhere saying that his brother was a POW, and Bill Kristol is right, he should fire everybody and start over, and he’s made this special video all about how his brother was a POW and the whole Republican party is on a boat that’s heading for some rocks and all the sailors are drunk and asleep, and how dare the American people not elect somebody who not only spent 5 and 1/2 years (FIVE AND A HALF YEARS!)as a POW, but forgot to take a comfortable jacket, and the real John McCain is a great American, like James Madison, but maybe FDR should not be mentioned, but he’s being censored, they’ve got him locked up in a dark room somewhere, like when he was a POW, and the only reason he’s behind in the polls is because the American people don’t know about his history as a POW.
It’s good stuff.

bitchincamaro October 15, 2008 at 7:37 am

[re=133930]gurukalehuru[/re]: You are a time saver. Thank you.

Texan Bulldoggette October 15, 2008 at 7:43 am

[re=133930]gurukalehuru[/re]: I saw that, too. I thought it was from the Onion.

Clancy_Pants October 15, 2008 at 7:43 am

Wasn’t this guy on Grumpy McWalnut’s VP short list?

Larger breast than Caribou Barbie.. and the cocktail waitress angle should appeal to the base?

Seems like a no brainer.

AngryBlakGuy October 15, 2008 at 7:45 am

…isn’t this also the ass-wipe with the fukk-up son?

dano October 15, 2008 at 8:02 am

Look like Jim Gibbons is going to need a new job soon. I hear they have an opening at “National Review”.

PlenipotentiaryPropagandist October 15, 2008 at 8:02 am

Isn’t being Governor of Nevada a little like being able to lick your own balls? I mean really, would you rather spend your day rubbing chubbies with fatass repubtards in Carson City or putting claw marks down the back of a Palin-lookalike?

I’m gay and I know which one I’d choose…

Tommy Says Soooo October 15, 2008 at 8:23 am

Where was this mofo when Tupac got shot? Sheesh. The greatest bard since Shakers the clown goes down, and all you people want to talk about is white people? If Gibbons has an alibi, I want to hear it. Else Suge Knight will kick your ass.

Jewdishoowary Square October 15, 2008 at 8:33 am

Nice to see Nevada continues to keep it classy.

azw88 October 15, 2008 at 8:57 am

Looking at the picture, I thought that this was an article about Muammar Gadaffi!

Carrie_Okie October 15, 2008 at 9:19 am

Has Hopey measured his drapes? All I want to know…

Hairy Reed October 15, 2008 at 9:37 am

I’m FROM Nevada and every time I hear about this moran again I want to cry.

[re=133906]zhubajie[/re]: Nevadans are scary protectionist and his opponent, despite living in the state for over 20 years and being the State Senate leader, had a slight southern accent. Nothing quite says progress like xenophobia–even from other parts of the SAME country.

nurple October 15, 2008 at 10:05 am

Reed: Protectionist of WHAT? I know there’s a fine knit-hat company in Sparks, and some wineries, but what the hell else does Nevada export?

JoeFannyPack October 15, 2008 at 10:35 am

Palin/Gibbons 2012!!

Gopherit v2.0 October 15, 2008 at 11:18 am

Thank you Nevada for making me feel so much better about Arizona.

azw88 October 15, 2008 at 11:41 am

[re=134134]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Indeed. We have some wacked-out folks for governor, but we kick ours to the curb every once in a while. And Palin somehow reminds me of good old Ev… a sexier, purty-mouthed Ev.

Content Tool October 15, 2008 at 11:51 am

Apparently what happens in Vegas, doesn’t always stay in Vegas. Couldn’t happen to a scummier guy.

S.Luggo October 15, 2008 at 12:05 pm

[re=134077]JoeFannyPack[/re]: You’ll have to change that slogan. Gibbons always likes to be on top.

Giant Robot October 15, 2008 at 12:33 pm

Weird bling.

kdaddy October 15, 2008 at 12:49 pm

“Gibbons are renowned for their loud, complex vocalizations. These calls are used to announce location, defend territory, and to develop and maintain pair bonds.”
That’s enough science for today.

knoxtheharpy October 15, 2008 at 10:54 pm

Ken, did you read the complaint? It’s like Kossack dumbed down the absolute worst Elmore Leonard novel, set it in the world of shitty, retarded Nevada politics and then submitted it to Bulwer-Lytton. Pennie turned on Chrissy “faster than a short order cook flipping a pancake.” Awesome.

Also: would it be too tasteless to suggest that every October 13, Nevada Wonketteers converge on McCormick & Schmick’s and drink ourselves senseless, then the gentlemen can help the ladies “find their trucks.” Like a Civil War reenactment, but with less dignity.

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