the more you know

McCain Will Kill Us All, Says Superhero Gal

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We don’t really talk about the “comedy” around here because, come on, we are already writing about Sarah Palin every day, for real. But this is kind of cute. This Hayden Panettiere was in D.C. earlier this year, saving the whales. Now she is just cold hatin’ on the old crazy person who wants to kills us all, in the war. Whoa, hey, another one after the jump.

You goddamned kids, quit being so cute. WE KNOW OLDER PEOPLE WROTE ALL THE COMPLICATED WORDS/HUMOR. [Funny Or Die/Move On]

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Sibos

    Save Obama, Save the World!

  • Sibos

    Also, FIRST!!!

  • Datsun510

    This is so funny I shot stuff out my nose! I can’t think of anything funny to say. And now I have to stop and clean my keyboard.

  • Darehead

    Never wear seatbelts, smoke cigs, vote McCain, jump off buildings…and dish out those f-words? Hope your regenerative healing powers still work after the right wing rips all your limbs off.

  • contentsunderpressure

    Hayden Panettiere, I love you.

  • JesseJB

    The last part made me puke my pants laughing. You go, Girl I Don’t Normally Care Sbout!

  • Sub_Standard

    Haha, I love the snarky “Your Vote, Your Choice” graphic at the end. That motherfucking slogan,in all its permutations, is so disingenuous. It’s not that I’m against high turnout, it’s just that this idea that the most important thing is that PEOPLE VOTE kind of flies in the face of the central idea of politics.

    ‘Course, the mass registration effort is mainly to register fake-named poor people for Muslim ACORN abortions, to topple Wall Street.

  • JesseJB



  • dilhavarti

    uh, wow. that was rad. Nobody fucks with Haydente Putanesca.

  • fuckinredneck


  • tunamelt

    She was the little girl in Remember the Titans and I feel weird hearing her say fuck.

  • ms_mcgee

    [re=133890]dilhavarti[/re]: Haydente Putanesca should stick with saving the whales

  • dilhavarti

    Damn kids. Get off her lawn.

  • grevillea

    The second one is funnier.

  • Datsun510

    [re=133900]grevillea[/re]: It was funny, but nothing shot out my nose. So I could keep typing.

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    [re=133887]Sub_Standard[/re]: That is the difference between Liberals and Conservatives. Liberals are going into the last few weeks of the election making cutesy, funny ads, while Conservatives are uncovering the gigantic conspiracy of a secret Muslim who, while he has no experience, how managed to use the government of Kenya and Acorn to take over the media and edit everything Sarah Palin says to make her sound like an idiot, just to fulfill his blind ambition.

    Will the truth win out? Or will we laugh ourselves into the New Caliphate?

  • lawrenceofthedesert

    No New Caliphate — I can’t afford more fonts.

  • Robbertjan

    dunno who the hell she is but I’d hit that!

  • tiny mexican

    The only Gossip Girl characters I’d take voting advice from are Blair and Chuck… just saying.

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    Meh, from pictures I’ve seen of Megan McCain, that hefty gal could so take Hayden down.

  • bitchincamaro

    I see what they did there. Ha.

  • nutcracker

    As a dirty old man, I just can’t tell you how much I love hearing a hot young babe say fuck.

  • Thechansen

    Why does she even care if everyone dies in some future war? A) she can’t die B) Heroes has so many fucking futures at this point it’s almost unwatchable. She has no clue it’s a war, a plague, a nukalear bomb, or too many super powered nobodies with emo haircuts and black hair dye.

  • azw88

    [re=133940]nutcracker[/re]: Amen, brother, Amen!

    Sadly, when they usually say FUCK to me, it is followed by YOU… and they aren’t making me an offer!

  • rocktonsammy

    Finally, the first wave of celebrities are hitting the beach, we’re saved!!

  • Sharked

    [re=133874]Sibos[/re]: Ugh, Wonkette is getting “FIRST!” commenters, now? I’m pretty sure these type of posts don’t even show up in the crazy racist ALL CAPS AOL comments.

  • CivicHoliday

    [re=133956]Sharked[/re]: I second that thought. Wait, is that as bad as “first”? Fine. I, um, trout slap?

  • ainm cleite

    If you get bored of watching the hottie say fuck try to find six things wrong with this Palin family photo

  • tripsydaily

    More schicksas riding Silverman’s shawl

  • Godot

    [re=133971]ainm cleite[/re]: …how could I ever get bored of that?

  • wtf_files

    [re=133940]nutcracker[/re]: Hear, hear! So aroused by Hayden’s dirty, dirty mouth.

  • huffybike

    Aw, Hayden is so adorable!

  • ainm cleite

    [re=134030]Godot[/re]: Personally, after 5 or 6 times I get soar

  • ainm cleite

    errr sore

  • shevralay

    Hee. This almost makes me feel less ashamed to watch Gossip Girl. Almost.

  • BruceLee5000

    [re=133874]Sibos[/re]: Now link to your blog! ;)

  • bluebrazos

    Hotties for Hopey!

  • bluebrazos

    But that second one killed me. And reminds me of the story of the poor farmboy from Virginia that went out and convinced, one by one, every single one of his republican relatives to vote for Hopey.

  • Barrett808

    That dolphin-loving pixie has my heart.

  • maxfield1

    The girl from Malcolm in the Middle said “fuck”, which straightened her hair and gave her superpowers…crazy!


    I am waiting for the video of Hayden doing the Aristocrats joke. It’ll be a scream.

  • villageatrois

    [re=133971]ainm cleite[/re]: We should show some respect to the Ms. South Carolina Runner-up. Or was it Miss Congenitality?

  • thefrontpage

    People with very little comedic acting abilities should not be attempting to do comedy.

    This is not really that funny.

    The girl is hot, though–no doubt about that. But being hot does not always mean you’re funny.

  • thefrontpage

    Also, has no one learned that moving the camera around like you’re on a rollercoaster already became tired and cliched about 1998? And moving the camera around like you’re drunk does not substitute for lame, boring, inane, dumb, idiotic comments by kids trying to sound like adults?

    Again, if you have very little filmmaking abilities–please stop polluting the airwaves with tired, cliched, unfunny films and videos!

    Thank you!

  • fuckinredneck

    [re=133926]Robbertjan[/re]: I would hit that, impregnate that, and then be forced to marry that by the Republicans.

  • d4g33z

    Yawn. Hittable or not, she’s no ‘toilet-mouthed pixie.’ At least Sarah Silverman provides a refreshing lack of earnestness…

  • Rusty Shackleford

    [re=134233]thefrontpage[/re]: I dunno, the George Bush line was pretty funny, in an ironic/snarky way, much like our beloved Wonkette. But I agree with you about the rest. The planet would be a happier place without the YouTubes and the unfunny Sarah Silvermans.

  • d4g33z

    [re=134430]Rusty Shackleford[/re]: Noooooes! Sarah is the queen of all comedy, and the youtubes is a gift from Jah. I guess I’m assuming too much, making an ‘ass’ out of ‘u’ and ‘me.’

  • Captain Swing

    Sorry thefrontpage, I have to disagree with you on this one. She’s both hawt and funny.

    Hayden, My Sweet, I’m feelin’ the love. You can co-pilot the Captain’s starship any day.

  • nanouk

    Goes to show you that all hollywood types especially over-hyped starlets have IQ’s that are inversely proportional to their “cutsey” factor. From what I have seen and heard from HP, she really proves this fact in spades. HP should stick with her acting career and stop showing her “hate-based” thinking about older people. I thought liberals were suppose to be tolerant and loving towards all. Guess HP throws that assumption out the window. I have always found that when someone fears something they try to denigrate (look up that word, HP) it or marginalize it by personal attacks. HP shows that liberal-biased hollywooders love to say they are tolerant, demand that of other, but when it comes down to the real person, they are some of the most hate-mongering people I have seen.

    In the socialistic world that will come when BHO is elected, and I believe he will be in spades along with an extremely liberal Democratic Congress, free speech including Hollywood’s is usually the first thing that is curbed. It will be funny to watch the sword cut both ways, HP. Welcome to your new future.

    I am rich enough to be able to hide my wealth off-shore from BHO taxing proposals as will all my other rich friends so we will not be taxed or hurt by his $250,000 tax the rich ideas. I can assure you that my assets will not “be spread around.” HP, you just don’t get it, do you? We rich get richer because of what people like you do, not in spite of it. Always has been this way, and always will be this way.

    Rock on, little comrade.