Wonkette
AFTER THE FALL: “It’s not like you’re going to riot or whatever if your candidate doesn’t win. Americans aren’t exactly in fighting shape. So, anything you do is going to happen on or very near to a couch, if you still have a couch.” [AOL Political Machine]
END OF THE ROAD
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Stop with the potty talk. We’re in a recession, you assholes.
AOL commenters are retarded. That is all.
I will have a couch-pillow fight with my lobbyist bimbo girlfriend.
Wow, Ken, you get some wacky comments on yer webbie thing there. Does it ever get scary?
Hahaha… false. If Walnuts! wins I’ll be on or near a couch in Rio.
Hijacking! Chrissy Mazzeo sues Nevada Governor Jim Gibbons.
http://www.renodiscontent.com/2008/10/14/chrissy-mazzeo-files-a-lawsuit-against-gibbons/
This gives you another chance to post that hot Mazzeo photo you have.
When Obama Wins on November 4th, these folks are going to riot!
Be afraid, America, be VERY afraid!
I voted for Oxycontin btw
azw88: Wake up white people!
KENLANE WUTZ RONG WID MA ALL CAPS COMMENTZ? U ELEETITS!
azw88: Shoot that hair! Feh! So wrong.
DoctorCulturae: This Celtic-American is voting for Obama.
Aww, Ken, can you talk to your overlords over at AOL and get them to print my awesome comment I left on your editorial thingy? Did I not use enough caps???
I’m going to riot, in the World of Warcraft.
Sure, lots of people have rioted, in the WoW,
But have they rioted in the WoW, on weed?
“I think you’re going a little high, man.”
“Relax, if there’s one thing I know how to do it’s drive while I’m stoned.”
God, I actually registered just to drop some snark (e.g., Baby Ruth) in the pool.
Die Gelbe Gefahr: Roger,
I feel sorry for you. You are mean and angry. I suggest you go to the nearest Obama campaign office and do some volunteer-work. Maybe do some actual canvassing. You will meet many nice people who will thank you for all your help. And on November 5 you will be on the winning team.
Or, instead, you can just go crawlinto a hole someplace and be quiet.
Thank you,
Datsun 510
Couch, whatever. I’m in my third week of cardiokickboxing so I’ll be hopkicking and roundhousing all over this nation if my guy doesn’t win. Not that I want that to happen or anything. I’d rather drink on the couch.
I just went back and re-read some of Nadine’s screeds from about two years ago. After getting used to AOL commenters, her posts really don’t seem all that deranged anymore.
Aurelio: You could get rich selling tickets so people could watch.
. . .I’ll wager that handgun sales are way way up right about now.
Ken Layne: I’ll be selling my couch and using the money to buy hobo beans and a supply of Target brand bindlesticks. I’ll be bean-farting and stick-poking my way across the apocalyptic wasteland that will be Our America.
spontaneousabortion: How do I go south on couch?
I’ve only just realized what a special group of people Wonketteers are. I am happy for Ken that he gets so much visibility through AOL, but it is full of wack-jobs. Here, people use mostly lower-case letters. It appears you all mostly have high school diplomas. And maybe some college education as well. I feel great, even though the economy is going away and our electoral process is in peril of sabotage. Have a nice day.
obfuscator:win. I love hobotown and bindlestick jokes.
obfuscator: It’s East/West. You can only go South by crossing the street… you mean Couch in Portland, right? Anyway, it’s best to go North (at Broadway) to Ember’s where “Cardio Kickboxing” is all about the fake eyelashes “Drag Racing” style, nyack nyack nyack.
I thought we were voting off people who linked to their own blogs…
obfuscator: That would have to be demonstrated, seeing as though Couch is east-west. Tutorials are available.
spontaneousabortion: Demonstrating the empirical evidence as a method of studying sociology? Sounds positivist to me.
i know what i’m doing once the election is over: watching football. by the first week in november we’ll know whether the redskins really suck…no redskins, no problem! there’s always san diego….oh, yeah, they’re sucking wind, too…. all’s i know is that football been bery gud to me. and my head will explode if hopey decides to burn out his left over campaign cash with a bunch of ads prior to the inauguration…..
obfuscator: Now is where we dance.
dougbob: He should spend it on FIVE AND HALF YARDS
Commenting on the pic alone: I wish that George Lucas had gone in this direction with Star Wars Episode One than with the shit that we actually got.
I said it before, and I will say it again…You’re missing out on a huge market for a great value added product with your AOL audience. See, there are these things for the back of your truck. They go on the trailer hitch. Funny thing about ‘em, though…are ‘ya ready…
They’re shaped like the testicles of an animal or person-thingy!
What better way for your readers to express themselves! They can be any color, and some of them can be lighted. They’re even available in chrome, if you don’t want to screw up a classy chassis.
Right now, there’s a big sale on them, from what I hear.
Ken: How soon we forget. How soon we forget: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A31074-2005Jan23.html http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brooks_Brothers_riot
I love being Australian.
You will too.
Well, if the election isn’t stolen or Cheney doesn’t declare martial law, I plan on joining Red State and being their Demrat troll. Payback for the eight years of bullshit that we’ve had to live through.
Obama Derangement Syndrome begins January 20.
You know the comments are batshit when getting back to Wonkette is soothing…
Black belt in Karate. No threats or anything, you know…jus sayin’ that if pollworkers start turning away black folks in downtown STL because their names mysteriously aren’t on the voter lists, it might get messy up in this bitch
my fav comment:
AOZ2:44AMOct 15th 2008
PEOPLES LIKE LEE AND SISSY R RIGHT. BARACK HUSEEIN OSSAMA IS A RADICAL COMMUNIST MUSLIM MARXIST HOMOSEXUAL LIBERAL TERRORIST SOCIALIST. HE WAZ SWORN IN TO CONGRESS ON A KORAN AND ON A COPY OF DAS KAPITAL (I KNOW THIS IS TRUE BECAUZE I RED IT IN NEWSMAXXX AND WORLDNEWS DAILY AND THE MSM IS AFRAID OF THE TRUETH) OBAMA OSSAMA WILL MAKE ALL WHITE PEOPOLES SLAVEZ AND TAKE THEIR MONEY AND GIVE IT TO WELFARE MINORITIES AND RADICAL MARXIST HIPPIES LIKE BILL AYERS TO FUND THE WARS ON CHRISTMAS. ALL CHRISTIAN SOLDIERS AND PATRIOTS FIGHT AGAINST NOBAMA THE GODDLESS ABORTION LOVING ANTICHRIST FROM SOCIALIST FRANCE. THE END OF DAYS RAPTURE IS FINALLY AT HAND AND SARAH PALIN IS ANOINTED BY GOD TO RESTORE OUR AMERICAN VALUESA ND FREEDOMS. PRAY FOR HER BECAUSE THERE ARE DEMONS AND LIBERAL WITCHES CASTING DEVIL SPELLS AND HEATHENS ARE WORSHIPPING THEIR FOREIGNER GODS TO SEE NOBAMA WIN SO THEY CAN LAUGH AT THE CHRISTIAN REPUBLIACN AMERICAN GOD.
I really wonder if I could recreate something like this if I tried.
But how do you suffer the insults thrown at you by the AOLtards, Ken? I mean, “Ken Layme” is a pretty low blow…
Die Gelbe Gefahr: PCL, YOU ARE RIGHT WHEN YOU SAY………
Americans are angry, and scared, and many are so uneducated and that combination of fear, anger, and ignorance is a volatile mix, my friend…………………..
THIS IS WHY YOU ARE COUNTING ON OBAMA TO WIN, AND IF HE DOES, I COULDNT AGREE MORE WITH YOU! MAYBE YOU’LL R-E-A-L-LY NEED THAT VACATION IN FRANCE AFTER ALL.
Yeah, I do have to admit, it can be R-E-A-L-LY fun to read AOLtard comments though–always high marks for creativity…
JadedDIssonance: Ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha!!! Thank you, thank you. That was me trying doing my Joe Six Pac impression.
Anonymous Office Zombie: You sir, get mad props.
JadedDIssonance: Again, my thanks. I doubt that any of those chattering retards even know what Das Kapital is.
JadedDIssonance:
Again, my thanks. I doubt that any of those chattering retards even know what Das Kapital is.
freakishlystrong: I know, I know! It was such a relief to come back here!
If NObama gets elected all our kids will be eating ketchup from little cups for supper. And they’ll all be forced to revert back to Nintendo Gameboys because you’ll have to sell their DSes to buy ketchup. Viva la revolution!
V572625694: “Does it ever get scary?”
Uh … you caught the veiled threat, that if Obama wins the election, it would be a nice time for Ken to visit France.
*I’ve* been receiving death threats left and right, so I know I must be doing something right.
One idiot, who addressed me as “Traitor Shitstain”, even asked me, “When Obama wins, and the civil war starts, guess whose head will be on a pike on my lawn?” (Of course I answered, “I’m guessing … yours, if you’ve ever run that mouth to any of your neighbors!”)
JadedDIssonance: Oh, your “fav comment” was obviously satire composed by some Evil Marxist Leftist. Good job, too. Only a few ticks off of stuff I’ve read and received, for realz.
Wow, all these years later, AOL is still for retards.
End of America? Socialist? Have these folks not read about the big bailout Boy George is whuppin’ out these days? Sheesh.
Ken i have to say you are wasting your talents over at aol (unless of course they are paying you lots of money)those people are creepy. also is this vote thingy one of those where we can/should vote more than once so we can ‘hack’ it?