Wonkette
BINGE & PURGE: You know how anybody can get a comment account now, if they can figure out how to sign up and reply to the e-mail? That means your editors have to manually delete all the bores who somehow end up here, by mistake. But we have been very busy and you good folks are complaining about this or that jackass, so let’s use this post to vote commenters off the island! A dozen people will lose their commenter privileges today! Make your case, and make it hurt!
So begins the McCarthy trials of 2008. But Ken, you have to ask yourself, are you sure YOU aren’t one of those commie jackasses occasionally making comments people don’t like? Just food for thought.
Don Lemon votes for “Carol”.
Is this about the Columbus post reply Ken? Shit man, I’m sorry!
can i have the head when you are done with it?
first
Lord of the Flies: Wonkette Edition
TRUECRISTIAN — if not for the horrifically dull trolling, then at least for devoting his/her entire dogmatism to America’s Orangest Governor.
I think you should Pat O’Brien’s emails to Sara.
I just emailed you the Alien Invasion scoop of the century, so surely I’m far to valuable to be voted off.
I just want to say: I (HEART) Ken Layne!
God if Ken takes off points for spelling errors I am so screwed right now.
By the way I love Ken, Sara and Juli. Love love love.
Oh, shit.
Vigilante, of course… if for nothing else but that he/she loves Ralph Nader without a shred of irony.
Nurple is an ass.
Second TRUECHRISTIAN. But seeing the current absence of his spam posts, I bet you guys have already raptured his ass along.
Wonkette: one step ahead of the good Lord.
SayItWithWookies: I’m with you. I don’t want to be seen by our new Muslin overlords as being soft on Christianity.
cal: brown-noser
gbush@whitehouse.gov
Reefpilot: actually, TRUECHRISTIAN is a satirist. but kind of a bad one.
Also, can you make flyingchainsaw come back? Please, oh please can you try?
Maybe a David Vitter update to test the waters.
I’m not funny… so.. Bye me?
My productivity would go way up if I were ban-hammered. But I don’t produce anything but mouse clicks and emails anyway, so what’s the diff?
Hey, I want to b*tch about my stupid a$$ congressman who probably just lost the Dem’s a seat by paying off his mistress/staffer. Florida 16th district, late of the Cocktober Surprise of Mark Foley fame. Oh well, since he’s a Dem, at least Mahoney was screwing a woman.
i bet ken wishes we could do this on his aol column. they make truechristian look like oscar wylde.
Apearently this post should be tagged: Stoking The Flames Of Paranoia
GET PIGGY!!
Can I vote all my ADD, interrupting, fucking co-workers off? My bad posts are THEIR fault.
What about WTC 7? It was an inside job? You’se just gonna ignore it? How infantile and stupid can you be?
DO IT TO JULIA!!
I’ve got one:
BaldEagle79
1. Unsarcastic Reagan avatar
2. Hysterical about the impending Socialist/Marxist regime
3. Posts a link every comment to their dumb blog which sucks
Reefpilot: Flyingchainsaw was one of the thin-skinned cabal that got all butthurt when Megan got canned and followed her to wherever she’s doing her thing now, if I’m not mistaken.
jinmoom: you’re also a brown-noser. have some balls, people. Hillz will lend you hers if you run low (re: SNL)
You guys have been so vigilant, I’m not sure there’s any pork to cut.
Be merciful. Or not. I’m used to my gods being capricious and inscrutable.
druranium: I agree we should ban people who link to their blogs all the time. So very annoying.
facehead: Win.
I’m with the TrueChristian and Vigilante bans. Although I must admit that there’s a certain part of my that truly likes the level of creative genius I’ve seen among some of those willing to engage them. Those two may not bring the funny, but they do sometimes unintentionally create it.
Reefpilot: If shorts pushes the current envelope of taste at wonkette, chainsaw wouldn’t have a chance.
SayItWithWookies: I second that, or maybe it’s third by now. I still have a headache from that last all caps post - if I wanted to be screamed at by batshitcrazy Rethugs I’d spend more time hanging out at The Corner. Although, some of the best commenter posts come in response to this guy(gal?) so maybe..it..should stay. Color me conflicted.
This can only end well.
gov.palin@yahoo.com
mwf4mm@wasillahighreunion.org
Um, this is Fat Talk Free Week so I find that the use of Binge and Purge is inappropriate. Also, I have children and am likable.
Jerk Cade: Nice Orwell ref there!
CivicHoliday: Well the true test of satire is that we unwashed masses can’t tell it from sincere commentary. And who would I be to dishonor such genius by changing my mind? Off with its head!
I vote for Joe Biden to lose his commenting privilege.
Can we get a spanking instead of being kicked off of Wonkette?
Not calling for anything quite as harsh as a ban, but dude, Miller, why you got to post your blog URL at the end of every comment?
Start with the Albigensians and the Cathars and the entire cast of Saved by the Bell.
On second thought, “Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius.”
Please ban any jackass that shows up to a campaign rally permanently ruining any positive association with a beloved-for-decades stuffed animal character. You Republitards better step gingerly away from Paddington, Madeleine and Babar because we won’t stand for it!
Oh wait Wonkette isn’t omnipotent? Damn! Okay then, TRUECHRISTIAN will do because we prefer the muslin here…
By the way I was so disappointed that there wasn’t a real recipe for Squirrel Soup on CNN despite their crueler-than-cruel tease on the homepage.
Whoever it was that tried to argue N.C. State is more popular than UNC. Sheer lunacy!
V572625694: I partly meant it as an homage to the earlier Hitchens post.
hitchens post!
I agree with the people-that-link-to-blogs thing. Ur BLoG SuCkZ, git OVR it!!
The Neoskeptic: Oscar Wylde? really?
Mr. Clark (I think that’s his username) kind of annoys me with his 19th-century pen pal style of letter writing.
To be honest… I don’t really see any consistent posters that deserve the ban-hammer. The idiots are culled out quickly. There are some that don’t bring the snark (as I said earlier, myself, for instance), but should that disqualify them from posting? I leave that decision to overlords. An I don’t mind the occasional repubtard coming in and wearing a target for a little while… some of the better posts have been in response to that sort of rascal…
I think ya’ll should pull the plug on those poster-printer spammers…but then they haven’t bugged me lately, so maybe we’ve fixed em.
Anyone who posts their own blog url at the bottom of a post needs to go.
Oh, and anyone unfunny, like me.
Oooh! Another one, can we ban people who use the Grocer’s Apostrophe?
CivicHoliday: Totally agree with that one. Mention your blog ONCE if you’ve got something decent to say, but don’t include it in everything you post. Sheesh.
SayItWithWookies: Er, that’s the test of irony. The test of satire is whether it can be distinguished from what’s already happening. Both, of course, become harder every day.
WTF? If wonkette votes me off, who else will listen to me?
Once again, I’m fucked in the Heartland, but not in a good way.
jinmoom: Mustn’t forget to send love to Liz and Jim too!
Reefpilot:
Oh God no. Like having the Aristocrats on in the background, nonstop, forever, all the damn time.
All my comments suck, with the exception of this one.
Regards,
Kurt Gödel
Color me crazy, but I actually like the occasional troll, it breaks up the monotony of all the funny comments people post, and forces me to think about unusual topics I would never consider, ever.
Which reminds me, have you guys considered voting for Nader? Or do you still think 9/11 was “just” a regular “terrorist attack” which had nothing to do with the “Jews” or “Barack Obama” ?
I think I remember one time when somebody posted a Bill Maher quote and then was all, “Right, guys?” or something. That shit was lame, whoever that was should be banned. Real Talk No Homo.
I vote we get rid of that troll Ken Layne once and for all.
Any one of you commenters who, mere months ago, swooned over Sarah Palin as a hottie GILF. Don’t think the Wonkette overlords (and overladies) have forgiven, or forgotten.
I actually really enjoy the These Bastards blog; more snark for me. But I agree, overall, with the blog post thingie.
I should not be banned because I can always bring the conversations back around to blow jobs, which is crucial, considering the lack of a real Cocktober thus far this year/
Jerk Cade: Yeah, Hitchens wants to be the new Orwell. Trouble is, Orwell was a great writer. Hitchens….uh….produces many words. Andrew Sullivan also is an Orwell wanna-be, with comparable results.
Also, I’m gay for SKS. But who isn’t, really?
I just hope Godless Liberal and Dogless Liberal finally admits he/she is the same person.
MARCdMan: Anyone unable to spell the last name of each 19th Century, Anglo-Irish, pedophile author. A long list, but an important list. Start in the middle with “McCain, Juan”.
I don’t pay attention to anyone’s words, usage and phrasing so closely that I should fuel the engine that improves their breathing at the neck. Live and let live.
…but if we ever disagree, you’d better swing for my fence real soon after the debate begins.
I haven’t been a bad girl, have I? I just signed up after a hiatus (due to actually working during the day) and Ken lays the gauntlet down. Have all the Paultards been routed out yet? Anyone saying we need to go back to the gold standard needs to be put in a one-way pod with Madonna to the Int’l Space Station.
The moon is full, so a soul must be released.
CivicHoliday: Hey, I’ve taken on Ken before in the comments section. I’m a maverick. I’m a one-man team of mavericks.
facehead: MORE ALL CAPS.
facehead: I’ve been thinking about Cynthia McKinney. Does that count? And I’m TOTALLY in the TANK for 9/11.
To anyone in a decision-making or decision-influencing role whom I offended when I stated I would hit Cindy McCain and that muppet-eyed blonde chick in the Palin Parking Lot video, I apologize. I have thought it through, and I now realize I would hit neither. May I please stay?
facehead: I’m on board with you man. Also, have you noticed that “Obama” is similar to “Osama”? And “Osama” is “supposedly” the guy who 9/11′d us (Inside Job duh). Plus his middle name is “Hussein” so what the fuck man, game over.
AnnieGetYourFun: Re SKS: Few things are hotter than a deeply sarcastic woman.
I vote to get rid of anyone that post links to their blogs. Off with their heads!
CivicHoliday: AGREED. I do not want to read your blog. I’m already reading a blog.
Anyone who’s ever posted a comment with “I admit I’m a bit of a Paultard, but….”
jinmoom: I’m having butt secks with the conch.
This apparent lack of names suddenly springing to life from our foreheads means that our fearless editors are strong and capable!
facehead: I agree with allowing trolls inside the stockade for occasional target practice, just to make sure our skills are honed for the impending red state invasion.
So the decimation begins. Ducking and covering, I scuttle for the gutter, prayerful as ever to the Great Lord Wonkette. No atheists in this foxhole.
Anyone Who. Punctuates. Like. This.
WereI guilty of such a travesty, I’d gladly give up my rights.
Do keep anyone who can use the subjunctive.
Ban the editors for a week, and let the Wonkettes post their own crazy shit. It would be fun! Then you let the FBI Cyber Crimes Unit or whatever do the “banning” for you.
S.Luggo: Ban Sluggo. He’s writing MoDo columns now.
queeraselvis v 2.0: What, you want to ban Ken and Jim?
Get rid of anyone who writes poetry, because they are probably a fag.
Botswana Meat Commission FC: I’ve notice that they never post at the same time…hmmmm.
i jhust wiped a booger on teh couch….ban? ban what?
S.Luggo: Maureen, is that you?
queeraselvis v 2.0: Irony deficiency clearly is a fatal disease and must be dealt with swiftly so as not to prolong the suffering (in this case, of those forced to listen, not of the deficiency sufferer)
druranium:1. Unsarcastic Reagan avatar
That’s not me, is it? I know I probably dropped the C word one too many times back in the heyday of the ‘trollop’ meme, but damn…
I vote to oust the people who call McCain “McSame.” It’s so corny and unfunny, it’s like a Dad joke.
I would like to apologize as well for my post of three weeks ago which contained a link to a video of me armpit-farting a cover of Color Me Impressed by the Replacements. It was not a faithful rendition and I regret the error. Can I stay?
CivicHoliday: really? That’s WORSE then. Making us plod through all that because he was a raving lunatic would at least be understandable. Doing it out of bad satirical impulses is a killin’ offense.
facehead: JeffGoldblum: Y’all are right, he’s exotic and I just don’t know him well enough. Now, that Hillary on the other hand…
I do not troll the boards.
I use +5 Charm and my saving throw to support the King of the Hobbits, Our Lord and Savior Ron Paul
Larry Fine: Yes, those poetry/song lyrics posts are ghey.
Botswana Meat Commission FC: Oh s*&%.
slappypaddy: speak for yourself, prayboy. I can’t concentrate on my decisive plan for victory with you cryin’ yourself and yellin’ “oh sweet Jesus, come fix my cluckup, pleeeeease…”
ken layne- the eternal asshole
whatever happened to Ronaldpagan? His screen name always made me feel ashamed and inadequate… just like someone such as Alan Colmes must feel every day of their lives… Anyway, clearly, AngryBlakGuy needs to go.
*ctrl-F ‘jagorev’*
Oh, phew, no mentions yet. Thanks, guys.
I vote we execute anyone who posts song lyrics. They take up space and are of no interest to absolutely anyone.
tunamelt: Their evident self-loathing is punishment enough.
Banning is so puritan but if we’re going to do it, I think it’s only fair the condemned get a parting shot like every other contestant on TV reality shows.
Add my vote for Miller and all the other douchebags constantly linking to their shitty blogs.
Do not vote off Chocotaco911america.
Also, commenters that use album covers as avatars should be banned.
There should be a little checkbox next to submit comment labeled “DRUNK?” which would make your avatar go all blurry or blink intermitently for a few hours.
Beans:
WTF–I tried to sound smart and made a typo. I meant, Were I.
Good-bye, everyone. I’ll have to come back under a fake name, like SarahPalin.
V572625694: I know, right?
I can’t think of anyone I want to ban offhand, really. Does that make me weak?
I’m not worried… I got immunity.
V572625694: werd! and you never see them in the same place at the same time . . .
V572625694: Unless you are married to one.
Commenters that illegally reproduce copyrighted work should be immediately suspended.
Ban everyone and start over. It seems everyone has a complaint about someone, so let’s go the Nukular route!
queeraselvis v 2.0: Bible Spice has only been on the scene a mere 6 weeks or so (although it seems like new galaxies have been formed & dinosaurs have roamed & gone extinct again). I frankly don’t recall any wonketters who thought she was anything but a dumbass, but I’m a chick & tend to filter out those type of comments.
JadedDIssonance: Please, not too many all at once. Then I might forget that I’m not on aol or worse *shudder cnn.
Botswana Meat Commission FC: anyone who doesn’t admit it, but is?
Agree that continually linking to your blog on every effing post should get you a warning and then the banning you richly deserve, if you continue to do it after having been so warned.
Happy Fun Ball: Sorry I missed it. I’d go into further ‘Mats lore but I wouldn’t want to be like the sci fi/fantasy tards here who should be all banned.
Are you going to post the names of the banished or are we just going to notice someone isn’t coming to the bowl for dinner anymore?
What’s happening? I feel like I should panic. Anyone else feel like panicking?
EVERYBODY PANIC!!!!
Also, I thoroughly enjoy that there is more fear and comments on this post than of the “oh em gee the world is collapsing” economy posts. Cardboard box house: less scary than lack of snark?
Larry Fine: Hey, thanks for reminding me! I vote for Larry Fine
Will there be a new blog created for the disenfranchised?
Where’s grendel?
freakishlystrong: But you are missing one crucial fact: Barack Obama, Hilary Clinton, and John McCain are all human politicians, whereas Ralph Nader is a genuine child of MekLork, the home planet of our true overlords. Human souls are made of iron, and those born on Meklork have souls made of gold; they have been bred in captivity for eons, trained for the sole purpose of taking over the earth and rightfully enslaving our weak iron-souled natures.
When are you people going to “get it” ?
Nader/Kraplac 08!
Is it ironic that my first Wonkette post is in this thread?
Or is it just stupid?
I can play the flute for the talent portion of the competition…
@Botswana Meat Commission FC: If you want the real information, meet me on the bottom level of the underground garage at 1401 Wilson Boulevard in Rosslyn. I will be in a trenchcoat and hat.
I’m casting a vote for Miller. Nothing against him, just the shameless blog-whoring has got to stop.
I vote for johnbpt, that self-loathing ass.
Is it ironic that my first post on Wonkette is in this thread?
Or is it just stupid?
I heart liberal, muslim, terrorists. So can I stay?
Texan Bulldoggette: Ken and Jim unearthed Mooselips back in March or April (maybe a little before that), more out of curiousity and hotness and GILFness, I suspect. Of course, that was also long before she opened her mouth and let loose with teh crazee.
Beans: oh please, like any shmoe in the world can’t get another gmail account and rejoin under a different nom de snark?
facehead: I agree. Have to cull them as they arise.
If it’s just a question of numbers, then we need some type of competition. SAT scores?
I vote we get rid of Eamus Catuli. I’ve had it with his incessant spamming.
Tommy Says Soooo: what if i’m not exactly a tard?
Cogito Ergo Bibo: I like the warning part. Miller has good stuff to say, and I would feel bad about a banhammer from nowhere. Aww, look at me getting all emotional and weak. Less of an African witch-hunt, more of a Universal Healthcare Policy.
You know what would be great would be to have an “Ignore this poster” choice, which would cause their bons mots to vanish into the aether before they sullied the browser window. Scores should be accessible for everyone to laugh at.
It would really be handy for people who post unfunny technical suggestions, for instance.
Eamus Catuli should be banned for double posting. GAWL!!
@Eamus Catuli - i think the more important element here is that you just did a double post… as your first post. I will light a candle for you…
Save me! I’m nice! USA USA USA!
I think this is some cruel psychology experiment, like where they made half the students “guards” and half the students “prisoners”. Who will turn on each other?!?
The intelligentsia must go first.
Botswana Meat Commission FC: …but I like to think I’m the only sane one that’s ever posted here.
Frankly, I’m with whomever alluded to Lord of the Flies. Someone get the conch.
im thinkin that you shopuldnt ban the blog whores just cut their comments down to 10 words or less including their blog link and the disclaimer “i am a cockstain because…” that’ll learn em
Get rid of that Neilist guy.
He’s a real Wright Wingnut. He’s so crazy, he thinks NRA stands for Nuklear Rights Agency.
Oh, did I mention that Benazir Bhutto is still DEAD?
Doglessliberal: I hope you’ll be wearing more than just that….
AnnieGetYourFun: hmm, if I weren’t so fond of Annie…. I’d suggest people who write out “I know, right?” It’s bad enough that every chick under the age of 30 says it constantly, I don’t need to read it, too.
El Bombastico: Do you have Brown Eyes or Blue Eyes?
ihasasad: Aich! No not me! What will I do with my workdays!?
TGY: Great, that’ll get you maybe one or two, but Ken wanted to ban a dozen.
Eamus Catuli: Ooooooo! You did a double!!!!
OzoneTom: Rationality will not save us!
Deepthroat: What kind of flute would that be, deepthroat?
This is a little like being one of those poor rugby players who crashed on the Andes and had to consume each other on the way down. This just isn’t right.
If we can’t trust wonketteers, who can we trust? I mean, whom. Now I have to proof read. This is hard. The pressure about to get to me.
Is there going to be a list and the kicked-off-ees? Oh, for shame.
Can we nominate posters to return? What about that general farr guy? The skirmish against the paultards may have ended, but the war on stupid is eternal.
Ban all the Canadians, I say. You must be firm with them.
http://www.myshittyblog.whogivesafuck.net
queeraselvis v 2.0: I can’t remember when I joined the illustrious Wonketteers, so it might have been after that. I remember DailyKos said she would NOT be the nominee due to Troopergate. So guess Jim & Ken are smarter than Markos (which should earn me some brownie points, right?)
lilblackcorvette: Aha! the gantlet is thrown down!
Also, I think Ken should ban Shorts and Petejayhawk again, just to keep ‘em on their toes, y’know. They always come back stronger after a good banning.
But seriously, the blog-whoring-with-no-real-content-in-the-comment has got to go. I’m surprised Wonkette is so lenient on that one. I tend to just skip over (who is it? Miller’s?) comments w/o reading them, but it still annoys me for some reason. And same for Slappypaddy’s cutesy dialect schtick. Don’t get me started.
Phew… so far so good. I’m intensely relieved.
Beans: Those were SOCCER players, goddamnit.
Rugby players would NEVER “eat each other.”
Except the female ones, that is.
Which is different . . . .
ihasasad: “Not exactly” is not exactly reassuring. The only permissible sci fi tard, in my book, is Jeri Ryan….and not her fans. Strangely enough, I know who that is because she was married to that doofus who lost to Hopey. Plus, rackage.
grendel: I had a worry there for a sec but when I was wonderin about your where-abouts you showed up! Huzzah!
That Godot guy is a dick. Get him outta here.
um…. that was one pupose
I posted twice because all you elitist jerkwads ignored me the first time!
Hitchens, Columbus Day: 37 & 32 comments, respectively, as of this moment.
and they came before the 10-13 Purges. I would say that panic has indeed struck.
Tommy Says Soooo: Plus sex clubs and swinging in her divorce papers… HAWT!
Neilist: thank you
DAmicosonegoodyear: heh, I was referencing Deep Throat the source not Deep Throat the porno, but OK, I can see how it sounded like a scene from “Parking Garage Girlzz 2: Hot Engines”
There is no editor but Ken, and Jim and Sara are his associate editors.
There, that should keep me safe.
S.Luggo: So you are the person who still reads Maureen Dowd. That’s a banning.
Botswana Meat Commission FC: No Paultard refers to him or herself as a Paultard…, unless they are trying to disguise their Paultard leanings.
As a smartass once said: “I don’t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.”
However, since I’ve got to email you bullshit articles about Dallas County Politics after everywhere else in the universe has already posted them I guess I’ll just jump on the blog-linkin-bastards-bandwagon.
Fuck those ‘tards, B& them if you’ve got to ban anyone.
i would consider banning those who add their comments without checking to see if it has already been stated numerous times in slight variations…
Doglessliberal: I love that one! So many hot tailpipes!
God, I hate myself for that joke.
hmmm. I believe the situation calls for the involvement of a mudpit, and some sort of fight-to-the-death. Or at least until someone loses their pants. Fight to the pants!
Jello is, of course, an acceptable substitute for mud. But only the red kind!
Hi, I’m here for the commenting….wait
Doglessliberal: Hey, I’m not really vouching for the guy (gal?), just wanted to point that fact out for those who missed the most recent thread, where he/she revealed his/her website, which makes clear (FINALLY) that it is, in fact, satire, and not just batshit evangelical insanity. I can’t decide if I applaud the amount of time he/she held out before revealing this, or just think he/she is an attention whore who should be banned. TrueChristian is, indeed, a true mystery.
That’s why I say I, like every Wonketter I’m speaking with, we’re ill about this position that we have been put in where it is the Wonketters looking to ban. But ultimately, what the banning does is help those who are concerned about the blog reform that is needed to help shore up our internet, helping the—it’s got to be all about account creation, too, shoring up our internet and putting it back on the right track. So blog reform and reducing postings and reining in mentions of the Snorg girl has got to accompany blog reductions and butt-sex relief for Wonketeers. And truk notz, we’ve got to see truck nutz as opportunity, not as a competitive, scary thing. But one in five posts being created in the truck nutz sector today, we’ve got to look at that as more opportunity. All those things under the umbrella of truck nutz creation. This banning is a part of that.
pdiddycornchips: Yes, and also a Blingee-off! Best Blingee gets to stay.
Deepthroat: Ronaldpagan is a gal (not that it matters, but I like to remind people that Wonkette has a good gender balance), and she’s more intermittent than most of us here. I think she might have a job, or something. Whatever that means.
Deepthroat: I think we should ban people who don’t really read the comments that are getting posted and just post variations on a comment theme. It’s so fucking repetitive.
Gopherit v2.0: Ok, ok, followed by the stupidentsia.
This is like those fucking Milgram experiments everyone vaguely remembers from their first-year Psychology class, they just want to see how many volts we’ll pump through each other’s bodies before someone pussies out.
Lionel Hutz Esq.: Should I push for a banning bailout or must Morgan Stanley fail first? - H. Paulson
Lionel Hutz Esq.: I really wish Wonkette still gave out stars for posts like that.
Guys who come here for sexual entendre from Annie and Deepthroat first and snark second?
Lionel Hutz Esq.:
Snorg girl. Ha.
@Annie- that would explain it. you know who else is a woman? Sarah Palin. She’s a maverick… with a vagina. (can we still say vagina? It’s scientifical)
How about all the self-deprecating losers who thought it ironic to nominate themselves in the third person.
Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.
Neilist:
The more I try to do good for my cause, the worse it gets. So I forgot what kind of football. Frankly, I figured rugby players were more macho, esp. the female ones.
Ban anyone who is harsh to me, an innocent old lady with arthritis.
My first comment to wonkette was back when the Palin clan was at the convention. I commented that Bristol’s dorky dress was to make her look like a virgin and that the Pallin women’s poof with long hair looked like the FLDS.
Someone called me something I won’t repeat, because at my advanced age, I find it impossible to repeat such shit (and besides, I forgot).
What if I post a picture of my boobs or something? Will that save me?
Hey, my little box says, “Welcome back, gjdodger…NOT!!!”
Lionel Hutz Esq.:
Oh Jesus. Whatever the opposite of banning is… can we do that for Lionel Hutz Esq? Umm.. offer a lifetime membership? That, my friends, is snark that can solve this economic crisis and perhaps bring about world peace.
It’s time to put me out to pasture.
Anyone who posts “First!” and isn’t first.
Sangwi Ddong Chim: …yes.
Sangwi Ddong Chim: Yes. tunamelt: I think we should ban people who don’t really read the comments that are getting posted and just post variations on a comment theme. It’s so fucking repetitive. tunamelt: I think we should ban people who don’t really read the comments that are getting posted and just post variations on a comment theme. It’s so fucking repetitive.
I am Sparticus.
well, Canmon has proved to be pretty inadequate. A bitter Hilltard who cannot seem to move on, and keeps posting Marxist shit about Hopey.
Canmon, come out and defend yourself…and tell me…are you voting for McNasty/Apocalypstick?
I just hate people who pretend to be on the fence.
Et si j’écris en français?
sezme: how about anyone who posts “First!” even when they are first? What about the word “first” in any post?–wait, damnit!
Lionel Hutz Esq.: +2
I only post when I have something interesting or very clever to say.
Which explains why my comments are so few and far between.
I was much funnier under my old name.
It still happens every once and a while, but I remember that I use to move through the comments and each one was a killer, leaving you sputtering for breath and your sides aching like Oscar De La Hoya had been going to town on your ribs. Self-editing is a forgotten virtue. Witness my bullshit about NC State earlier today. Kill me now.
Lascauxcaveman: The original slappypaddy passed away. His shtick got shtuck, and he was last seen pitching a fantod into a gale. He left me behind to keep a candle burning, but advised me to get my teeth fixed before attempting to speak.
FreshCliches: Actually, FC, it would be more in the spirit of Kurt Gödel to say that all your posts are belong to 17GenR, such that neither it nor its negation can be derived from any axiom set, no matter how large. That includes your current post.
Pleeze don’t ban me for this, Ken!
I’m for banning anyone who keeps one hand on the keyboard and one hand on their genitals. However, whenever a picture of Sarah Palin comes up, you are excused and allowed this behavior.
sati demise: Apocalypstick! Yes! Maybe I’ve been missing for a month but finally a name with that je ne sais quoi I’ve been looking for. Mayor McCheese wasn’t cutting it and McWinky didn’t quite have the batshit-crazy edge required.
Walnuts/ Apocalypstick FTW.
Sangwi Ddong Chim: Depends on the boobs, I’m guessing.
slappypaddy: You know, I’ve been skipping over your comments for so long, I hadn’t noticed.
(You poor dear, bad teeth can be so tragic.)
Larry Fine:
Does finger in the rectum count?
OOOOOOO! I found one on the Foley-beating, creature-fucking dude post: Baldeagle79! Baldeagle79!
Who are all these people sober enough during freshman year to remember all that shit from Psyche 1? Can haz ban, please.
The first twelve commenters to this post, inclusive of replies. They jumped the gun too quickly to spend time thinking about bringing the funny, amusing or sarcastic.
queeraselvis v 2.0: Big dif between hottie GILF and heartbeat away VPILF. It’s perfectly fine to have her up in Alaskachewan or whatever where she can do no harm and still look vaguely, uncomfortably bone-able. But it shouldn’t go any further.
Lionel Hutz Esq.:
About the paraphrased Sarah Palin cmment:
If someone has to go, don’t let it be Lionel. Take me instead.
mattbolt: If that’s the case, will it be the people who keep sending the shock that are punished as opposed to the ones being “shocked”?
Lascauxcaveman: You missed some beauties. You should go back and find them. Take your time, we’ll wait. Make sure you find them all.
Sangwi Ddong Chim:
“What if I post a picture of my boobs or something?”
As much as I love boobies, and trust me, I DO love them, I’m slightly more intrigued by the
“or something”.
Anyone who meta-snarks should be warned. Snark is never justifiable.
I Am Not Your Gary Busey: I cannot take the credit.
Think the first one to post Apocalypstick was “cal’. But not sure.
Want to avoid the McNasty tendency toward copyright theft, of course.
Spare me, oh snarky one!
I wanted to leave a comment, but there was no way to type a comment in.
If I’m banned, I’ll have more time for my Treehugger.com avatar: “BicyclistsAreDicks”
But…but…I field dressed Tucker Bounds today. Surely that counts for something.
Hmm…twelve people…
Wait. We have more than twelve people registered?! I thought it was just Ken running up to various computers with wig and facial hair props, signing up screen names. So proud of you, Wonkette! Uncle Pete said you’d never amount to anything.
This would be the first thing I’ve “won” since George W Bush was elected.
Lionel Hutz Esq.: That should read: “There is no Editor but Ken, and Sara is his Prophet.”
Larry Fine: And for a picture of Countess de Rothschild or of that tempting neocon negress, Michelle Bernard: No hands on the keyboard?
http://i12.tinypic.com/6xsid05.png
Her mouth calls me.
BARRAKH HUSSEIN O(B/S)AMA IS AND TERRIST AMERICANS ARE FUKIN SHEEP IF U DONT VOTE MCCAIN U WILL BE SUPPRTNG TERRISTS WHO WANT 2 RAP UR DOTERS!
El Bombastico: The Prisoner’s Dilemma
…but I like it here. I’ve never felt so alive.
I don’t have any banning suggestions, but I think the general “quality” (and by quality I mean references to ass-fucking) of posts would go up if Wonkette were to institute a word count limit.
These comments have got me all baited up for a good blog-whore lynching.
Kill the blog whores!
*…backs slowly out of the room…*
Jerk Cade: Go to Room 101!
Anita Cocktail: Is that common enough to have an acronym? IKR? I actually wasn’t aware that more than a few of my close friends said that incessantly. And we’re all over 30, so does that make it better or worse?
OzoneTom: I second this. But truthfully the commenting premises here are well-kept, and there’s not a single frequent poster who’s a repetitive bore. (I don’t comment frequently. Though is it ironic that I have posted two boring bits in this thread, or simply foolhardy?)
Ditto.
steverino247: theyll shoot me i dont care theyll shoot me in the back of the neck i dont care down with big brother they always shoot you in the back of the neck i dont care down with big brother
sati demise: I can’t take credit for Apocalypstick either.
But I forget who I stole it from.
It’s definitely become harder to wade through the comments without glazing over. People are just having boring conversational posts or not reading all the posts before they comment (and thus repeating things). It’s not about who was here first, or who’s the biggest fan — people just need to be teh funnier, because I’m turning in to some kind of bitter muslin and — sob — not even reading all the comments any more. This used to be the blog where the comments were almost as good as the posts.
Oh, and I liked where the reader could follow commenters who were clever, and where one could rate comments… even just thumbs up/thumbs down surely have WordPress plugins that could ease implementation.
JadedDIssonance: From what?
i give up. just woke up
Lionel Hutz Esq.: You appear to be vice-presidential timber. What are you doing eight years from last year?
Larry Fine: Bastard. You should be banned for criticizing my handy genitals.
AusKosh: hey, it isn’t MY fault I happened to not be working at my workstation when Ken posted this! too tempting to resist.
Lionel Hutz Esq.:
“And truk notz, we’ve got to see truck nutz as opportunity, not as a competitive, scary thing. But one in five posts being created in the truck nutz sector today, we’ve got to look at that as more opportunity. All those things under the umbrella of truck nutz creation. This banning is a part of that.”
If I write, “you rock,” will I be banned for sincerity? You Rock.
Anybody who uses the phrase “in the tank,” except for the time I used it in the Hitchens thread.
Outstando: Ah yes, I remember those days. I met Wonkette during the primary days, and without it, I surely would have gone completely mad. It was so invigorating to read the attention to detail, correct grammar and spelling, and the best wit anywhere. We were all in love with Barry, and didn’t miss a thing in Hilz’ playbook. When I was having a bad day (Lupus), my daughter would read the posts and comments to me, and we would laugh till we cried. Good times…
Please don’t cut me from the team. It’s the only way I can communicate with Keith Olbermann.
PLEASE DONT READ THIS!
YOU WILL GET KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BY THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE. TOMORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. HOWEVER IF YOU DONT POST THIS COMMENT TO AT LEAST 3 WONKETTE POSTS YOU WILL DIE WITHIN 2 DAYS. NOW UV STARTED READIN DIS DUNT STOP THIS IS SO SCARY. SEND THIS OVER TO 5 WONKETTE POSTS IN 143 MINUTES WHEN UR DONE PRESS F6 AND UR CRUSHES NAME WILL APPEAR ON THE SCREEN IN BIG LETTERS. THIS IS SO SCARY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKs
Eamus Catuli: Lets just say you are not off to a good start.
PentagonBookkeeper: Yeah, I miss the primaries, too. My snark was quality then. Now it just kind of gets by barely when it doesn’t outright suck. Fuck. I think I’m going to go on sabbatical before I get justly tossed.
Test….testicle 1,2,3
I’m drunk. I’m the first dude.
My avatar fortune cooookie sez “Stay the Curse.”
Reefpilot: We’re holding FlyingChainSaw hostage at Stinque.com. Bank robbery pending.
Banz copypasteholes.
Anyone else immediately ctrl-f and search for their own name?
Have you seen the new format in the new “Video Games” thread?
Never mind. I got into virtual reality instead of this one. It was fun while it lasted.
Condiments-Only Diet: This is a good reason for Death.
Lionel Hutz Esq.: Airspace!
Jukesgrrl: This entire site is now banned, from (and by) itself.
CooterMarie: Lionel Hutz has always been the caretaker at Wonkette. I should know; I’ve always been here.
Servo: That usually happens. See … uh, the past five years.
queeraselvis v 2.0: The day she was elected, actually! That was two long goddamned years ago. I thought it would be funny to pick some dingbat as the new HERO of the GOP, after the closet gays and mistress beaters and Abramoff bitches all went down in November 2006. She ate mooseburger, and was a “maverick,” and we had pictures of her looking pretty much naked. Who knew John McCain would steal our goddamned joke, two years later.
Anyway, somehow nobody has made a convincing case for banning anybody else, today. Sellouts. This is like that bullshit scene in that TERRIBLE, FIVE-HOUR-LONG movie, “The Batman vs. the Joker,” when … oh, what was it, like two cruise ships, and they could blow each other up, and on one ship it was gay people, and the other ship was full of fat married couples fighting over the buffet? Who knows how it ended. (I literally saw this movie, in a theater, on Friday, for the first and only time. What dull garbage.)
Truechristian got seven votes! A star is aborted.
Ken Layne: TRUECRISTIANs aren’t perfect –
they’re merely not banned.
*weeps*
#
Lucky13 says at 1:06 am, October 10th, 2008
- Reply
this is why i left DC:
What he elegedly did was illegal and therefore should be punished.
A. I rest my case.
B. My avatar already carries several implements designed for maximum arterial geysering.
C. I will save the head for Monty.
D. Thus the blood price will be paid. Truechristian can live; the ass is mended; go in peace.
Last!
facehead: I vote for facehead
So, Wonkette now joins Dennis Miller on the list of “used to be funny”.
Will this revolution be televised?
wonkfreely: Oh good, one last ban for the road.
Ken Layne: So who did you actually ban? Or are we all still here, laboring under existential dread and shit? If Miller is still allowed, then I’m going to end every post with an ad for Coca Cola/Enron/etc. Also, last time I checked, thebastards.blogspot seemed to just be running story lines found on your Wonkette, without attribution. Boo!
i don’t care who you vote off, but i hope it’s not me because i will cry myself to sleep every night, really. so if do get voted off will you notify us by email or just block our posts? ps - i love wonkette, really i do, really(and yes i am sucking up!!)
Am I still here? I think I’m still here.