Wonkette
After a week of witty meditations on Barack Obama’s America-hating friends and asking, “Who is this guy who has been running for president for two years who everybody knows pretty well after seeing him in nearly 30 debates? Did you know some crook sold him a strip of lawn once?” Sarah Palin has BLINKED and decided to stop calling the Democratic nominee a terrorist. Why? Because no one in the McCain campaign can use the same argument for more than a week. It’s all right there in the Maverick Handbook! Right next to the “no blinking” rule!
The pit bull took off her gloves and lipstick and spent all last week tearing Barack Hussein Osama a new bunghole, so now she has to “temper her rhetoric” lest a nation of angry racists actually take her up on some of her not very veiled suggestions. So here is what she said on Sunday, sort of apologetically:
It’s not negative and it’s not mean-spirited for me to ask you to check out our opponent’s record, and I would ask you to check out our opponents record…I’m not being negative, not mean-spirited, but please check out his record…
Ha ha, except in the parts we left out she basically calls him a child-murderer who throws aborted fetuses in Dumpsters and then feasts on their stem cells.
In this Sunday speech she also said some bullshit about “good guys” and “bad guys” and then asked some chanting morons if she could borrow their awesome slogan about coal mining. In three short weeks, Sarah Palin will fly back to Alaska in a caravan of reindeer wearing bedazzled Thanksgiving-themed vests, so enjoy her company while you can.
Sarah Palin Tones it Down a Notch [Political Radar]
Winking is still OK, though.
Its like a scene from Heathers, where one of the Heathers knows the ends a-comin’ and wails “but I AM nice.”
She wants the peen, you betcha.
Why did god create Sarah Palin? And while we’re at it, why did god create ticks and fleas?
And White She-devil never expected to fall in love with Undercover Brother, either!
Obama could have saved his campaign millions of dollars by having sooner figured that jiggling car keys in front of Palin would have had the same crippling effect for McCain’s campaign.
Don’t keep Sarah down. I’d like to know more about the criminals Obama hangs out with.
Memo
To:SP
From: Plastic Jesus
Please exibit some of the virtues of Christianity instead of all the vices, thanks.
PJ:pj
From “the new face of the Republican Party” to “skanky hate-bait” in record time. Remind me again, what do Republicans stand for?
I hate this woman. I wish I could be snarky about this, but I can’t. I just straight up hate her. She’s the fucking epitome of what is wrong with America right now. The lack of introspection and intellectual curiosity. The knee jerk “if you’re not with us you’re against us” mentality. She just needs to go the hell back to Alaska and never darken my public discourse again.
The worst part is that, deep down, I’m afraid McCain and Palin are going to win it. I know that all the numbers say that’s all but impossible, but I’m still terrified of the prospect. I just don’t have that much faith in my fellow human beings anymore.
I prefer this palin:
http://www.hustlerworld.com/news/2008/10/hustler_video_does_it_again_wi.html
http://www.dumpert.nl/mediabase/268101/98e47456/fotos_who_s_nalin_palin.html
Has anyone else seen the military cut of her clothing? Comical Soviet-era military too, where they gave out medals for cow production. My friend says they are intentionally ill-fitting because she wants to give the impression of being a harried Mom, which is also why her hair always looks like crap.
Perhaps someone casually reminded the Lipstick tattooed pitbull hockey mom about her own pass acquaintances.
Unlike Willian Ayers, Joe Vogler’s dead because of a plastic explosives deal gone bad and buried in a Canadian cemetery because he was so anti-’merikun.
“Hey, Barack. Call me!” (wink)
Yes, come April 15th I wonder what President Hopey will think of all those Palin deductions, yes indeedy.
http://www.politico.com/blogs/jonathanmartin/1008/McCain_promises_respectful_campaign_and_to_whip_his_you_know_what.html
Walnuts will whip BO’s “you-know-what”
Gordo: It’ll never happen. Cyclical economic and political factors, which the ruling party have tried to short-circuit, have returned with extra force, just like in 1980. Sure, there may be kind of a Bradley effect, but there will also be diminished right base turnout because of discouragement.
It’s getting to the point now where I just start hearing the subliminal winky statements in between the rhetoric.
It’s not negative (but he’s evil!) and it’s not mean-spirited for me to ask you to check out our opponent’s record (MUSLIM! TERRORIST! ARAB!), and I would ask you to check out our opponents record (BABY KILLER! RACIST!)…I’m not being negative, not mean-spirited(winky winky), but please check out his record…
Also, the whole, “I’m not mean-spirited” thing reminds me of high school when one of the crazed clique girls would say, “You know, I don’t mean to be a bitch, but…”
Arg, when I read of the new, milder Sarah Palin, I am so afraid for Tina Fey.
Just like THAT, huh!? FLUNK. YOU.
I think she lubes with cbunky peanut butter mixed with mothballs for that minty feeling.
Apocalipstick needs to go back to palling around with secessionists.
Sarah is now in the tank for Obama? W00t!
JSDC007: +1000 for the Heathers reference
Now they’re the SNAK. Sensitive New Age Klan.
Nathalie08: Walnuts will whip out Barry’s you-know-what? That is a bold maverick strategem.
But soft! Palin’s future son-in-law speaks:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081013/ap_on_el_pr/palin_wasilla_heartthrob
“They’re not telling me anything right now,” Johnston said as he checked his Blackberry. “It’s pretty chill.”
Not surprisingly, Johnston was a little shocked when he learned about Bristol’s pregnancy, but he says he quickly embraced the prospects of fatherhood. The baby is due Dec. 18. Johnston has dropped out of high school to take a job on the North Slope oil fields as an apprentice electrician.
Johnston hinted he’s expecting a boy, but he declined to discuss baby names.
“I’m looking forward to having him,” he said. “I’m going to take him hunting and fishing. He’ll be everywhere with me.”
Truly, he is a gentleman and a scholar.
cal: Are you talking about Todd?
Hey, let little Sarah alone! Just remember, she represents the party of “family values”. One of which seems to be crying out “fire” in the middle of a crowded theatre.
Yes Sarah, darling, you opened up this Pandora’s box of race baiting, and fear mongering. And gosh darn it, we’re all just hangin’ on the edges of our seats wonderin’ how you and your team of mavericks are gonna close it right back up again.
Larry Fine: I know of 99 total sleazebags he hangs out with regularly.
Decoitous: Why they’re just gonna put their little ol’ minds together and figure out just what the hell mavericks do and, dagnabit, do that you betcha Ronald Reagan Hockeymom.
Let’s hope that Obama’s first act as President is to allow Alaska to secede. All of these wonderful flag waving Obama hating Americans can move to Alaska and live a happy, terrorist free existence. We’ll just have to defend against Putin without them.
superfecta: “I’m looking forward to having him,” he said. “I’m going to take him hunting and fishing. He’ll be everywhere with me.”
Translation — I am getting him as far away from that psycho Mother of Bristol’s as fast I can!
On a lighter note–anybody see Hopey going door-to-door? Ha, wonder how many times he heard, we was just a talkin’ bout you.
grendel: jinx
superfecta: Seriously, he sounds like a nice enough kid. He doesn’t sound like a star-struck douche, anyway. Good luck to them. Marrying into that family, he’s gonna need it.
superfecta: I’m surprised they didn’t find Johnston a job as a janitor on the International Space Station for say, 2 years.
This is good news to me. I’ve been very concerned that all of her campaignin’ down here in the lower 48 has left us dangerously vulnerable to all that sinister head rearin’ that Putin has been doing for the last few years up in Alaska. We need her back at her house to effectively counter this threat.
you know….soon this guy she has been trying to destroy will be president and she will go back to her day job. If I were Obama, I would be a little pissed at her…I can’t say I wouldn’t find some way to get payback.
sirhotspur: Visit the Gov. mansion in Alaska and leave the seat up.
Trash lips did her part. She added new vocabulary to the cro-magnon base. Before it was , “Obama terrist” , and now its “Obama terrist ayers”.
I bet she gets knocked up right after Nov 5.
sirhotspur:
Especially since Alaska gets the most $ per person of Fed Cheese in the union.
Typical Alaskan gets $12K from the Gubbiment while the next state on the list gets about $5.5K.
sirhotspur:
The victory is the payback. McCorpse will be the first candidate in history to lose a White House run to a black man. I can’t see his Royal Runtiness or his Trophy Moose bragging about that accomplishment.
So, John McKKKain and Sarah Palinchmob have taken pause?
One thing’s for sure: if that bullshit attack line had worked, they wouldn’t have let up. The ONLY reason they’ve changed tack is that they realized it just…wasn’t…working.
Go Hopey!
Itsjustme: Nah, she wouldn’t notice that. She’s never there long enough to visit the facilities.
JoeFannyPack: More importantly (and more karmically satisfyingly), THEY’LL have to defend against Putin without US.
Man, I really don’t need to ever see ‘Palin’ and ‘bunghole’ in the same sentence ever again. Ever…(sobbing)…
THe father of Sarah’’s grandchild speaks:
Yeah, RIGHT.. nothing to do with the MySpace page….
Here is the best part:
She had BETTER win… yeah, if she loses, you future is totally fucked, as you will be locked into being the son-in-law of the EX-governor of Alaska….
The entire AP Wire story: http://www.azstarnet.com/sn/hourlyupdate/262157.php
Here is what is going to make the GOP heads explode: this election is suddenly about the ability to govern, not just get elected. Since Nixon the GOP have collectively worked to get elected, thinking that it is only this that is the problem with their party. Suddenly, they have to govern and they have nothing…nada…zilch. They have nothing but empty rethoric that they cannot even live up to.
They feign shock at the “angry” mobs at rallies, all the while knowing that it has been there relentless framing of the mere idea of governance as socialism and anti-americanism that has caused their supporters to completely shut off any critical thinking in order to not have a mental breakdown caused by the cognitive dissonance of their ideologies when faced with the facts of the world.
What do you tell a Republican when it becomes clear that we are: Not #1, that we cannot go it alone, that managing 360 million people requires governance, governance costs money (taxes), and a terrorist (brown person) isn’t around every corner waiting to kill you, and the Bible does not supersede the Constitution, and putting magnets on your car is not the same thing as actually supporting the troops?
Bypartizoa: Yup, she’s gonna go Black, then go back (to ALaska)
superfecta: I didn’t see your post of the same article….
What does it say about the family Values of BOTH families that they are letting the kid drop out of high school???
Question: How do we know that a typical Palin supporter invented the “toothbrush”?
Answer: Because if it wasn’t a Palin supporter, they would have called it a “teethbrush”.
Jimmy Carter said he’d whup Ted Kennedy’s ass, and he did. “You-know-what” don’t-mean-shit.
Sarah and Todd remind me of successful small town thugs I’ve known throughout my life. They’re the kind that dress kind of conservative-hip, high-and-tight but not military (Todd’s soul patch, her mainstream acceptable but somewhat citified glasses, the straight-laced hottie outfits), they put up a very thin veneer of respectability and, like their way of dressing, manage to stay current enough to make progressive sounding noises when cornered (”don’t even think that I’m not tolerant” she says). But about a molecule deeper beneath the veneer, you have control-freaks who just love dishing out the small-minded discipline. Todd’s obviously a borderline personality–and you can read between the lines that the social mileu in which he operates is basically about power. Cops and snowmobile racers, local politicians and business owners. The big-fish-small-pond type that are smug beyond belief because they don’t get out much, don’t read much, and are too dumb to understand their own limitations. And unfortunately, this bump in Sarah’s ego via the shrieking rally crowds is only going to reinforce her self-image as The Chosen One. Hope to christ she is sent packing on election day.
Nathalie08: I was under the impression Walnuts cannot move his arms – is Sarah going to whip Hopey’s you know what for him.
Don’t knock eating fetuses until you’ve tried it. Some hickory smoke, some BBQ. It’s good eats.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
before or after she called him a baby killer?
sirhotspur: Sarah’s going to have more problems than Obama after he wins. She has to go back to Alaska and to say she’s burned some bridges is an understatement. She’s going to be all “you know I was just kidding right?”
Scary scary people shouting NOBAMA! at Palin-McCain rally….
She started out saying we look forward and not to the past… Then she goes on:
She notes that there is a lot of anger in America about insider trading, lobbyists, etc etc etc.. VOTER FRAUD, and DRILL BABY DRILL and a new on MINE BABY MINE (greedy little bitch)
“Be on our side so we can bring jobs…”
Oh, bringing up Saint Reagan!! Freedom and not expansion of government… “Shining city on a Hill”
she says McCain has “trustworthy deeds and not just words”
Crashing planes and getting shot down helped me???
She’s a over paid idiotic soccer mom. What you do in the dark always comes out in light. I don’t see the reason why she has to defame someone to make herself feel superior she just like the rest of her racist ass family. And as a women she’s a poor excuse. How the hell your a Christian (so she says) and yet you cant even pay attention to your own child but you mind everyone else’s business. Furthermost, she denies medical to same sex families. When the world comes to a end and she has to face God thats when she’ll regret and wish things she have done she can erase… Man I am a young adult and trust me I pay attention to everything both sides of the campaign
I hate to say this, but I think we’ll all miss Sarah Palin.
Perhaps we should should lobby the big wigs at NBC to offer her a full time gig after the election, offering up the “opposition” point of view. She could host Meet The Press (hey, they need some sexing up!) and have a regular spot on the Weekend Update at SNL.
dougbob:
“I hate to say this, but I think we’ll all miss Sarah Palin.”
She’ll be back. I have a feeling she sees the writing on the wall and is now campaigning for 2012.
In Obama’s defense, a nice stem cell demiglace can really pull a dish together.
Horray for Porn as social commentary!
http://photos.tmz.com/galleries/nailin_paylin_set#28265
CivicHoliday: Damn, beat me to it.
http://defamer.com/5062599/meet-sarah-palins-xxx-doppelganger#viewcomments
earling: Palin, and Bush for that matter, always remind me of the employee in Corporate America, who has an upper-management job (basically someone pulled some strings to get them the job), and they have all the swagger, but not much skills. They’re the ones you always overhear telling a good, perhaps exaggerated story about clients, sealing a deal, etc, in the frat-boy/sorority girl tone, and you want them to shut up because you’re trying to conentrate on your work. You see them around the office more than you’d like, and you veer off to another part of the floor to avoid them so you won’t even have to say “hi” to them.
I bet they would be the type of bosses that make their underlings do all the work, including overtime, while they keep bankers hours, or in Palin’s case, leaving early to take her kids to hockey practice or go to the sporting goods store to pick up some gear, but deny one of their subordinates the chance to take time off for their kids’ sports.
I looked up Sarah’s middle name and its origin and what was more interesting than discovering “The heath assassin bug” a hemiptera which is a blood sucking insect, a “true bug” like a bedbug - was the fact that the word of origin “heide” in addition to meaning heath, means a gentile or a heathen.
heathy adjective
ORIGIN Old English hǣth, of Germanic origin; related to Dutch heide and German Heide.
“While her ancestors were painting themselves blue on the shores of the north sea,” mine were “worshipping in the temple of Solomon.” She loves Israel. Has anyone noticed how many of your American Jewish friends are Zionists and “love Israel” and her policies toward her neighbors. It’s Christians who say “do unto others.” The old Golden Rule was “do not do unto others what one what not want done to oneself.” Works for me. But she’s a Christian throw Sarah to the wolves unarmed and with a pocketful of beef jerky. A biopsy from her running mate would work. If I were a hungry wolf that’s what I’d ask Santa for. The hunk of melanoma free flesh is for the heath assassin bugs to munch on. Do unto others.
Sic her Fang!
AfghanVet: “What do you tell a Republican when it becomes clear that we are: Not #1, that we cannot go it alone, that managing 360 million people requires governance, governance costs money (taxes), and a terrorist (brown person) isn’t around every corner waiting to kill you, and the Bible does not supersede the Constitution, and putting magnets on your car is not the same thing as actually supporting the troops?”
I’m going to fatten myself up until I’m large enough to have that printed in full on a t-shirt. +700 billion to you.
Crapola: You win. This is the best line I”ve heard about Sassy Sarah. Car keys, indeed.
superfecta:
New McCain fundraiser idea: Name the Baby! It should be a big fundraising idea among corporations. Exxon Johnston, for instance. T-Mobile Todd Junior. Cheetos Johnston.
Since the Palins love the white trash names, this should be a no-brainer. Why haven’t they done it yet?
Uh..oh…sounds like Sarah’s finally succumbed to a crush on Obama. Figures. Now she’ll be able to use her autographed Mandingo dildo with authority and to full effect.
earling:
well put, however, after Nov. 4th she returns to Alaska and she is Tood’s problem as well as Alaska’s.
Nonono, she hasn’t changed her message; she’s just using her charming little folksy eye tic to convey it:
It’s not negative WINK! and it’s not mean-spirited WINK WINK! for me to ask you to check out our opponent’s record, and I would ask you to check out our opponents record…I’m not being negative, not mean-spirited, WINKWINKWINKITYWINK!!! but please check out his record…
As for the blinking, that’s always been off the table, what with the metric ton of botulism crawling around in her face.
What kind of a fundie wingnut campaigns on the Sabbath, anyway?
LET SARAH BE SARAH! PLEASE! MORE SARAH! ALL SARAH, ALL THE TIME! GIVE THE REPUBLICAN CRAZIES MUCH MORE OF THEIR POSTER GIRL’S APPEARANCES AND VOICE! SHE BROUGHT HER CHILLING EFFECT ALL THE WAY FROM ALASKA AND IT WORKS…IT WORKS!
ihasasad: RE: Why God created fleas: fleas, like flies, feed off of and subsequently breakdown organic matter - a necessary step for most healthy ecosystems. The existences of fleas and ticks has led to hundred of thousands of jobs and livelihoods for people all over the world in the extermination industry, the pest industry, and the netting industry. The study of their abbreviated life cycles has led to breakthroughs in fields of the medicine and the science of DNA.
I don’t know why in the hell God created Sarah Palin.
ihasasad: problemwithcaring: The former: To amuse us. Well, nonamericans.