Wonkette
READ FASTER, YOU FILTHY BUMS: Hey, remember how the Troopergate report was supposed to come out today, and how it could be grand? Well there’s a slight technical problem in Alaska that’s causing some delay: illiteracy. You know, “not reading good.” These lawmaker fairies on a legislative council in Alaska are meeting to vote on whether or not to release the full 263-page report to the public, and they are taking their goddamn TIME parsing that thing. Surely there’s a Cliff’s Notes or something?? Just hurry, con sarn it. This Friday night news isn’t going to dump itself. UPDATE: “The Legislative Council just voted 12-0 to release the report, excerpt for certain parts they consider confidential.” And now we will wait another seventeen years for reporters to read it. [Anchorage Daily News]
That moose looks an awful lot like my mailman, too. Is this some new government program to save money by employing moose?
They have to shorten it and use smaller words so that Palin can read it. It IS all about her, right?
Politicians in Alaska that read?? That’s unpossible!!!
I heard it’s being released as an interpretive dance instead.
Gopherit v2.0: If you believe it you can achieve it!
They won’t have a quorum until the members’ verbal SAT scores total 1,000 — so they’re voting on whether to get Koko the gorilla as a member.
tunamelt: They probably two the first 3 hours doing a power run-through of Hukt on Fonix.
In a nod to Alaska’s Pagan Community, the report will be released on Tuesday to coincide with the full moon.
Gopherit v2.0: Something I could benefit from, too, after looking at my post.
Read that as they probably took….
Wow. Fitzmas . . . those were good times. I was so, relatively, innocent then.
This whole thing stinks of taking a major Friday Afternoon News Dump on all of us Palin fans.
We’ll know it’s super scathing towards Psychobunny if they wait until 2:00AM Saturday to release it and the US has a “border skirmish” with Iran 30 minutes later.
Gopherit v2.0: WORDS. Sometimes they go in a certain order.
Nonstop hilarity if the Palinites and their “delay, delay, delay!” tactics end up postponing the Friday news dump until Monday.
tunamelt: Yeah, yeah….I don’t even have the liquid lunch excuse.
SayItWithWookies: Kooo-ko! Kooo-ko! Kooo-ko! Kooo-ko!
Alaskan toilet paper is fairly rare which sometimes results in confusion.
Naw, they’re sitting around debating how bad Sarah’s vendetta against them is going to be.
According to the McCain campaign Michelle Obama also has connections to domestic terrorists. No word on Malia and Sasha’s connections to Ayers and Dohrn yet. Check the storey here: http://talkingpointsmemo.com/archives/223489.php
Dreamer: Oh, FUCK!!! That makes me a murderer! My junior year of HS the guy who sat in front of me in AZ History (and lived a block away from me on THE SAME STREET) shot and killed his mother and stepfather Christmas night.
When Tim McVeigh travelled to Kingman, AZ to meet with his co-conspirator, he stayed at the same Motel 6 in Flagstaff that I have stayed at numerous time! Must mean I am a terrorist, the domestic kind.
Shit, there is no possible way I can deny my inherent “evilness by association.” My political career is officially FUCKED before it began.
Anybody looking to hire a domestic terrorist, murderer befriending computer geek to run their inter-webs pages when the great Depression hits?
Terry: Yup! And what the chances of impeaching the Governor will mean after Nov. 4th.
You betcha!, imagine the blasting shotguns out of planes dive bombing the Alaska capital when Bible Spice, after her epic fail to win the Presidency, is impeached as Governor of Alaska. They will have their very own home grown Pearl Harbor, with the Alaskan Independence party digging up all the AK 47s they have buried in the back 40.
There’s no need for this report now. The McCain-Palin team came out with their OWN report YESTERDAY, dincha hear? In something of a surprise, she was totally exonerated.
Totally not making that up, btw.
Lazy Media: I thought I read that earlier on HuffPo - she’s been cleared*! No need to wait for the report - it’s all said and done!
*By McCain-Palin 2008
Lazy Media: The strangest part of their HONEST AND STRAIGHT FORWARD report is that it was all over the headlines on Google and other places where that kind of shit would show up last night, and then, this morning, all the headlines were gone. Luckily I saved a few.
Here’s one:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27105917/
The good thing here is that it would have gotten much less media coverage on a Friday. Monday it’ll get more exposure.
Terry: Hell I’d take a little time to debate that too. That bitch is scary. Dumb and scary, which is a really, really bad combination as far as like, personal safety goes.
Hey everybuddy, they Alaska senate or whatever just voted to release the report. . .
Could be a long weekend for Caribou Barbie. Report comes out… another SNL episode… and she gets to deal with Philly sports fans. http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1008/14462.html Oh yeah!
REPORT
http://download2.legis.state.ak.us/DOWNLOAD.pdf
pg. 8
“I find that Governor Sarah Palin abused her power”
I got a eight D prod up my ass… hit it and pass it on to the next moose till you get to Sara, then use this 220 VAC trippler probe and stand back. Sara has a message for Cindy McCain, the bitch that ruined her VEEP. Ashes to ashes, cunt to cunt, so say John McGoo, and I never gave her head….couldn’t,….Cindy was in the way.
Hey, it takes a long time to chip 238 pages into ice, or write with a feather quill onto wolf hides (damn, too many holes in them, sarah must have been up in the trooper helicopter again)………
Check, meet Mate.
jj: Alaska is in the tank
Guys, the report says that she abused her power but she didn’t break the law. Also, unfortunately, no one cares about this.
I think it’s important that Alaskans represent on this front: http://blankforobama.com/poster?text=Alaksans
Well, hell what time is it in Alaska anyhow? Are they on PDT -6 or something? They are all probably just walking back in from lunch “today’s special is Caribou hotdish” at teh Capitol “cafeterium”. “That report on ol’ Saree? Oh, now lets see, she’s a’guilty of somethin…let me get my specs on”
eatsshootsleaves: It certainly does create some cognitive dissonance:
PALIN: “You can’t trust Obama!”
REPORT: “Gov. Palin … violated the public trust.”
Oops.
eatsshootsleaves: That’s it? She abused her “power” as Mayor of Wasilla. That’s not news. Plus, it sounds like she had old Todd take the fall…
Guilty, guilty, guilty!!!! hahahah Abuse of Power?
but then they say she used the right procedure.
Sounds like a good s&m scenario. Violation of the public trust.
But she did it right. (used the right ’safety’ word)
BTW, who’s the Lt. Governor of Alaska? Is it that fat astronaut from Northern Exposure? That was a documentary, right?
Merry Maverickmas everybody!
The report has come out - why no new post on Wonkette? They can’t ALL have left town and are speeding towards CT, can they?
Oh Gawd, David Shuster is about to cream himself he’s so happy. (Although KO would have been even Happier!). What’s the deal with AK–why are all the pols so corrupt up there??
Sarah Palin is guilty of abuse of power! 2nd coming to Cheney!
STONE COLD BUSTED!!!!!! Troopergate report is OUT, and a bi-partisan committee says she abused the powers of her office. Just reported on Oberman’s show.
Texan Bulldoggette: Yeah, he’s clapping his misogynistic hands, since he hates teh women and all…
Goodbye, Sarah! Back to Alaska for you, you betcha! You’re gonna face impeachment, dontcha know?
This report is good reading!
From the report: Todd Palin wanted Trooper Wooten prosecuted for shooting a moose on duty — talk about the pot calling the kettle black!
Alas no siren on Drudge about this–if it had been discovered that Barry’s uncle’s cousin’s neighbor had once spit on the sidewalk, Matt would have been all over that. Since Bible Spice has cured his mommy issues, no siren. Too bad…
It looks as if the fat lady is tuning up..
pepe: And what was that moose doing on duty? Man everyone/thing has to work in AK…
smellyal8r: I don’t think he hates women; just the Clinton women. (The way they acted during the primaries, who could blame him?)
SWEET!!!!!!
http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/10/10/palin.investigation/index.html
Get her!!!! Finish her!!!
We wish you a merry Mav’rickmas
We wish you a merry Mav’rickmas
We wish you a merry Mav’rickmas
And a Happy New Deal!
Good tidings to you
To you and your kin
Good tidings for Mav’rickness
And a Happy New Deal!
Here’s the “beauty” of the 24-hr news cycle: Friday dumping isn’t as effective as it used to be. There ain’t nothing to talk about on Saturdays, so this will take up a lot of air time tomorrow fer sure.
I cannot WAIT until the virgin queen is dethroned.
Ana Marie Cox is going to be on Rachel Maddow this hour about the McAngry Nazi rallies!
azw88: Hey, I am sure I used the same airline as the 9/11 terrorists, what would that make me.
StrangelyBrown: Like cognitive dissonance has ever stopped Republicans.
smellyal8r: And wait for sunday morning. I can smell the barbecue already…..mmmm, lipstick pig.
I think I saw Mark Foley and Cindy McCain blowing the same black guy in South Carolina at a rest stop near Greenville during the primary. As well, Ah am ready to defend Mah honor as a true southenor and follower of Col. Mosbey, the Ghost, the Grey Ghost that is, of course he was six foot three and a strapping man, not five foot seven (at a stretch), like John McGoo, as well I think one of his legs was shorter than the other at birth, given him the cam and piston effect, which completely fucked up his mind before he was ten. But that also made him drool, which of course at the time, gave him the appearence of a pussy in the face, which was abused by nearly all of the Command Staff in four theaters, as it were I belive he was rated as a 6.9, whereas a five dollar hooker is a 7. But, John McGoo, went to the Naval school and was a graduate….woooooohooooo,,,, got some five inch lifts for his shoes, and began to make his way into stupid.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: And Rachel has teh angry up tonite. She mad. Hoppin Air America mad.
Little Cheney is guilty of abuse of power, wait until she is vice president.
hahahahah!!! After David Shuster broke the news, I turned to see what O’Rally was saying. First he was talking with Geraldo about the OJ verdict and what kind of time he should get for his crime. Typical. A little later, Bill’O has his “Breaking News” graphic shit all over the screen. Then a very nice photo of my favorite actor, and the nicest gay man ever, Raymond Burr, appeared over Bill’s left shoulder. Whaaa?? He had his favorite economic adviser on to talk about the fucked financials. Damn him!! He cancelled Perry Mason for some schyster broker who lost a gazillion of his own money. Oh good, now some cutie in Anchorage is reading their spin.
Help talk me down Rachel! And what a treat: Ana Marie Cox!! This can’t get much better!!!
Hooray For Anything: You’re thinking of after they get elected. They still have to play all holier-than-thou to get elected in the first place, and this report doesn’t help.
ha ha ho ho hee hee a ha ha haaa…
and i thought MY jokes were bad. . .
The report is a bit of a partial-birth abortion:
“Take a look at page 5 of the report, under “Subpoenas Issued” where it mentions how on October 6 Colberg announced that “some” of the Palin loyalists had decided to cooperate with Branchflower’s subpoenas. Branchflower’s report says:
‘Given that last minute decision and in view of the publication date of October 10, 2008 for this report, it has not been possible to include any such information herein. It is anticipated that the additional information will be submitted to the Legislative Council in a separate report prepared by the employees and/or the Attorney General. Their report is separate from and independent of my report.’ ”
http://alaskapoliticsblog.blogspot.com/2008/10/branchflower-report-wtf.html
In other words, the report is a bit incomplete, and the “investigator” is leaving it up to the honorable Palin crowd to keep the legislature up to speed on this. What a hoot.
Doris K. Goodwin has the whitest teeth I’ve ever seen.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: Just saw her. 1. I’m not sure what happened to her hair unless she’s trying to do the Bible Spice updo without the same amount of hair. 2. She’s still on Walnuts’s tire swing, but less so now.
Sorry, I can’t help thinking Rachel & Ana are doing it….Although Ana looks like a good Catholic girl school type.
Don’t cha know I was like acting on behalf of the best interest of the people, you betcha, :wink:, gosh sorry there Walnuts, are standing behind me ? smilin there Maverick, we’re still Mavericks,
oh cripes!!!
DoctorCulturae: I agree & their BIG. Like her dentures are slightly askew….weird.
There goes failin’ Palin. May all the world forget she ever stood; and may all the world regret she did no good.
Abuse of power, but of course! She’s a Republican. It’s either abuse of power or having sex with someone in a men’s room.
My bet is this story airs on Jerry Springer in December
Grampy is gonna pay the price for not vetting Barbie beyond, “Have a vagina? Welcome to thunderdome.”
Look over there, William Ayers—–> terrorist, hes no good, oh and the black Rev. Wright ———-> look look look, oh where is that Sean Hannity fella when gosh darn need him?
This is actually good news for Palin because now that she’s been accused of some sort of crime, she’s pretty much guaranteed a job with Fox News once she’s out of office.
If nothing else I hope this nixes her SNL appearance.
Hey Bristol… get yer ass out here and bring that Levi kid I’m gonna field dress when we get back to the igloo.!
Did you see the footage of Grumpy telling the folks at his own rally that Obama is a decent man, just one he disagrees with? It looked like he may not care for the demographic that Rapture Barbie brought him.
Or should that be Abuse of Power Barbie?
Rachel just spoke with Monegan. He said he’s not calling for blood. That’s it’s completely up to the legislature to decide what to do. Despite the fact that, apparently, they could vote to either censure or impeach. He’s a class act. No vengence. Ex-Marines have that hardwired sense of ethics. I sort of hate her more for throwing a Marine under the bus.
Meh. It looks like one of those things that gets you a stern lecture from the Ethics Commission and a fine of not less than $25. It won’t help the McCalin campaign, but that’s already a shot moose looking for a beaver pond to drown in. Doesn’t look like it’s impeachin’ material. If they impeached every Alaska politician who misused their office for personal gain, they wouldn’t have any elected officials at all.
Walnuts and harpy down more in today’s polls. I couldn’t help but laugh at the 9.1% chance to win. Who wants to bet it drop down to 5% by monday due to this?
http://www.fivethirtyeight.com/
Texan Bulldoggette: Our dear ex Ms. Ana is a difficult read on teh teevee. I’m afraid her do looks a little like Haley Mills in one of her pants roles. And she looks like she needs a big hug. I’m sure there’d be plenty of volunteers.
ProfessorJukes: Yes indeedy, I can’t wait to see what happens when Palin drops the puck. As a Philadelphian, I would expect the crowd to either love her to death or storm the ice and throw her out of the Wachovia Center.
Not coincidentally, Hopey is going to be in Philly tomorrow too, doing 4, countem, 4 rallies all across the city.
DoctorCulturae: I’ll take your word for that on the hugs issue. (Really, she’s not very pretty…???)
I do know on the Time blog Swampland, she gets eviscerated for her cutesy, non-serious analysis. But, being a co-founder of Wonkette, I try to cut her some slack.
Worlds End: Intrade now has a Hopey victory trading at 80. Someone sold off a shitload of Walnuts! shares this evening, so a McCain victory is now trading at 22. FAIL.
538.com has a photo of Mooseburgers signing a “PALIN 2012″ sign at a lynch mob, er, rally in Ohio. Is this the shape of things to come? Ye gods.
From http://www.politico.com/blogs/jonathanmartin/1008/Palin_found_to_have_abused_power_in_Troopergate.html
The McCain-Palin campaign issued a statement seeking to discredit the committee and arguing they “overreached.”
“Today’s report shows that the Governor acted within her proper and lawful authority in the reassignment of Walt Monegan,” said Palin spokeswoman Meg Stapelton. “The report also illustrates what we’ve known all along: this was a partisan led inquiry run by Obama supporters and the Palins were completely justified in their concern regarding Trooper Wooten given his violent and rogue behavior. Lacking evidence to support the original Monegan allegation, the Legislative Council seriously overreached, making a tortured argument to find fault without basis in law or fact. The Governor is looking forward to cooperating with the Personnel Board and continuing her conversation with the American people regarding the important issues facing the country.”
Gopherit v2.0: I do lurves me some BBQ pig!! With or without lipstick.
When you don’t have a true defense, attack the people and the process.
WoundedVeteran: I’m not always really sure what you’re talking about, but I totes love you!
I now find Sarah vulnerable, sensitive and misunderstood. Careful libruls.
rocktonsammy: Mah, mah, mah…..I will throw my cape over the mud puddle of this legal ruling of ‘abuse of power’..and gently guide Mrs. Palin ovah’ the road to safety.
Monday’s a bank holiday so does that mean the MSM won’t be wringing its collective hands over the economy until the opening bell on Tuesday? Does this mean more teevee air time to discuss Sarah ‘n Todd ‘n Walnuts?
Dreamer: Puts you number one on the no fly list!!!
Terry: That should be “Impeachment Barbie” or “Censure Barbie”….
Oh, Schadenfreude! Oh Schadenfreude!
How happy you have made us!
Yes Schadenfreude, Sweet Schadenfreude!
This news it doth elate us!
Impeachment Barbie’s fate is sealed!
The lipsticked pig will have to squeal!
Oh Schadenfreude, Sweet Schadenfreude!
Your tank is for Obama!
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