About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

Hola wonkerados.

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26 comments

  1. Noodle Salad

    Down is the new up. Does this mean Quaaludes are coming back? That’d be awesome – the alcohol isn’t doing the trick anymore.

  2. InKnockYouUs

    That graph they have on NYT online sort of looks like an outline of the ocean floor–you know, craggy.

  3. SayItWithWookies

    [re=130026]Noodle Salad[/re]: When Plan 9 from Outer Space was being made, Bela Lugosi couldn’t get a buzz from alcohol anymore. He used to have one of the PAs drive him around to Hollywood labs looking to buy formaldehyde so he could get drunk. Of course Lugosi died during the filming of that movie — just sayin’.

  4. Noodle Salad

    [re=130044]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Drinking himself to death, or pickling himself to save others the trouble? Inquiring stockbrokers want to know.

  5. Gopherit v2.0

    Awww. See, that’s what I get for living in Arizona. We don’t honor those filthy Italians anymore. It was our trade-off for MLK day. We are a state of cheap, racists pigs.

  6. SayItWithWookies

    [re=130062]Noodle Salad[/re]: I doubt his interest in science and/or posterity was that great — though it was a pleasantly unintended consequence.

    And reading that article only reinforced my belief that people in finance don’t know shit about the economy either.

  7. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=130035]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Does anybody in the world know how the FUCKING ECONOMY WORKS?

  8. Gopherit v2.0

    [re=130091]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: It has something to do with sacrificing a goat, I’m sure.

  9. villageatrois

    [re=130091]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Dang it! Heckuva a good question, Shortsie!

    They used to teach that there were two islands. On one, people caught fish. On the other, people grew rice. They traded some fish for some rice, and the people of both islands benefitted.

    Then, some guys from the Isle of Manhattan came and created futures markets in fish and rice. The farmers and fishers forward sold their future production, retired, and bought their fish from Japan and their rice from Viet Nam. Happy ever after.

  10. TRUECRISTIAN

    [re=130521]villageatrois[/re]: This is not a cabaret forum but a forum for serious discussion. If you think you must use this kind of childish language go to another forum. Such posts, with such a language in such manner you showed above are not appreciated here be it pro or contra something.

  11. villageatrois

    Hey, TC, tell us how the world economy works! I’m waiting with baited breath, which is how I catch fish. I could tell you how I catch rice, but you might be just a tad offended.

    But I can’t let it pass that you accused our Wonkette of being serious. Sir/Madam we are all aggrieved!

  12. melpol

    News that the big three auto makers will soon become one unit is confirmation of the pessimism that is now sweeping America. The auto industry is dependent on the world economy and the wisest of people predict a long world wide recession. Economists say that we have reached peak demand for the use of the automobile and public transportation will eventually replace individual ownership. It is obvious that most of us no longer can live in high style, we have been living large for too long and it is now time to pay the piper.

    Our nation is now imploding and despite government bailout efforts the downward spiral will not end until it reaches a sustainable level. When that happens private industry will be flooded with applicants for employment and pay only the minimum wage. The average income will be used just for food and shelter. It will be hard times but once again our nation will rise after learning a bitter lesson. Living within ones means will then become the golden rule.

  13. Baldeagle79

    If by gone ‘permanently’ you mean loose lending practices that were nothing more than a vote-buying venture, than I’m glad to see that gone forever. We need sound business principles and a hands off approach from our government. They’ve been trying to regulate free enterprise for years. Just take some of the revenues, defend our nation, police our streets, and protect the citizens. What else do you people want, you say? Nothing!

  14. melpol

    The big secret is out. Politicians and the media were hiding the fact that American households have a net worth of over 56 trillion dollars. That is more than half the household wealth of the world. Those statistics come from the Federal reserve Flow of Funds Summary Statistics Second Quarter 2008. If there was a way to get the hoarders of those bucks to go on a long shopping spree the recession in the U.S. would quickly end. But our politicians fear talking to those idle saving account owners and their potential to stimulate our economy, they would rather increase the national debt than anger millions of cheap voters. Consumer spending determines the health of the economy not inflationary government handouts. Until some miserly Americans start digging into their over loaded bank accounts and start spending money our recession will continue indefinitely.

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