Wonkette
Well here is yet another tale of John McCain’s terrible anger and simmering rage and also his addiction to craps, a game of chance! Just three years ago, John McCain nearly assaulted a woman standing next to him at a craps table in Puerto Rico because she touched his arm. Nobody touches John McCain’s arms! Don’t they know who he is?
Here is the True Tale, courtesy of media investment banker and former New Republic publisher Jeff Dearth, via Michael Kinsley:
McCain’s game is craps. So is Jeff Dearth’s. Jeff was at the table when McCain showed up and happily made room for him. Apparently there is some kind of rule or tradition in craps that everyone’s hands are supposed to be above the table when the dice are about to be thrown. McCain—“very likely distracted by one of the many people who approached him that evening,” Jeff says charitably—apparently was violating this rule. A small middle-aged woman at the table, apparently a “regular,” reached out and pulled McCain’s arm away. I’ll let Jeff take over the story:
“McCain immediately turned to the woman and said between clenched teeth: ‘DON’T TOUCH ME.’ The woman started to explain…McCain interrupted her: ‘DON’T TOUCH ME,’ he repeated viciously. The woman again tried to explain. ‘DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU’RE TALKING TO?’ McCain continued, his voice rising and his hands now raised in the ‘bring it on’ position. He was red-faced. By this time all the action at the table had stopped. I was completely shocked. McCain had totally lost it, and in the space of about ten seconds. ‘Sir, you must be courteous to the other players at the table,’ the pit boss said to McCain. “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? ASK ANYBODY AROUND HERE WHO I AM.”
But because it was Puerto Rico, nobody knew who John McCain was — or if they did, they were like “Oh, it’s just that Panamanian lunatic.”
It will be fantastic when President McCain plays craps with Vladimir Putin and ends up getting thrown to the floor in a fit of judo fury.
At the Craps Tables With John McCain [The Daily Beast]
Holy crap! He ate some lady out at a craps table? Was this while he was on shore leave in Bangkok?
Remember, Cindy said he never had PTSD because he was trained not to. Riiiiight.
Anyway, maybe that’s why he wants to be Prez - guaranteed Secret Service nut-buster knee-drop for anyone who touches him. OR doesn’t know who he is.
True story, friend of a friend deals blackjack at a high end place in Vegas, baby. Dedicated conservative Republican, he is/was. McCain has visited to place. Is such a dick no one wants to deal with him at all. Even former dedicated GOPer. Well known on the Strip that Walnuts is a prick.
This is similar to another story I’ve heard about him, busting out the “do you know who I am” line… classy guy.
…being that this was a casino, there has to be a security video floating around!
If ONLY they’d kept the security tapes! That. Would. Be. AWESOME.
Wooohoo! Only 7,800 points to go before the apocalypse and baby Jesus comes back riding a white horse with a flaming sword jutting out of his mouth!
I’m filled with self loathing today… I went to Frost/Nixon last night here in Appleton… And to be honest, it made me wish for the days when the president was an intelligent, reasoned scumbag who knew what he was doing was wrong but defended in on an intellectual level, as opposed to a “because I’m king and can do what I will” level. It shows how bad Bush/McCain are when I ache for NIXON! I’m going to be ill..
He went all Bruce Banner and crapped</I his pants.
He went all Bruce Banner and crapped his pants.
Did anyone hear that Vladimir Putin got a tiger cub for his birthday? He’s a Goddamn Bond villain at this point.
Serolf Divad: I think it’s closer than we think. Fear 6666, the stronger stock number of the beast.
If you think that’s scary, imagine playing poker with Barry and having to deal with his steely gaze as he owns your ass.
I thought his game was loose stools?
InsidiousTuna:
Vladimir Putin isn’t “rearing his head” over Alaska, he’s strutting around waving his gigantic pecker at Bush and the west and laughing.
InsidiousTuna:
Does this mean that Cindy is really Viccoden Galore and that Sarah Palin is Sally Too Dumb?
Has anyone considered that maybe McCain needed to keep his hands below the table to pleasure himself?
Some people are so inconsiderate. I’m sure it takes significant effort and concentration to bonerify that little 70 year old withered panamanian chorizo of his.
True story - I have a friend who manages a drive through in Crystal City. He regularly sees politicians through there on his shift in the morning. About 3 years ago, John McCain came through to get breakfast, but the coffee machine was broken. McCain started cursing and screaming at the poor 19-year old girl working at the window. My friend had to come over and try to calm him down - the girl was almost in tears. McCain started spitting at the window, and when the manager asked him to leave, he broke into the restaurant and started jerking off on the counter, calling everyone a cunt. Then he started throwing feces and slamming his fists against the windows, before he killed three responding police officers.
True story.
“Oh, it’s just that Panamanian lunatic.”
Oh, you mean that exotic furren cuntry Panama where FLASHBACKS! was hatched? As opposed to the exotic foreign STATE of Hawaii that birthed Obama?
Serolf Divad: Damn you! I promised myself I’d ignore the Dow today. You’ve pierced my bubble of blissful ignorance.
Woman at craps table - Plenty O’Toole?
It used to be that the line “Do you know who I am?” or its more aggressive equivalent “Do you know who you are f*cking with?” was yelled by a guy in a parking lot a few seconds before he got a bottle broken across his face.
Could work again.
Cogito Ergo Bibo:
Ha, ha, ha! You speak as if the DOW won’t be at 666 by next Wednesday!
dano:
Yeah, well, I had to pull over three times to remove the corpses of stockbrokers from my roof and hood on the way in to work today, so it was kinda hard for me to ignore.
Cut Walnuts some slack. What’s the point of being rich and powerful if you can’t treat people like medieval serfs?
TJBeck: You left out the last line: “And then I woke up.”
http://www.alz.org/alzheimers_disease_symptoms_of_alzheimers.asp
#3 Problems with language “my fellow prisoners”
#4 Disorientation with time and space- the stage incident
#5 Poor or decreased judgement- the VP pick
#8 Changes in mood or behavior- fits of rage
Oh wait, this is his normal state of being. It would be more respectable if it could be blamed on the old timer’s disease, but the dude is just an arrogant bastard stuck on his own unjustifiable sense of entitlement.
He rolled a FIVE-AND-A-HALF!
ProfessorJukes: wait, she said that?? Holy crap. That is not only stupid and shows an utter lack of knowledge about the cruelty of the illness but it is stunningly insulting to the many, many servicemembers who do have it. So THEY were just idiots and didn’t learn how “not to get it”? What a flaming bitch. She should read this story (warning, it made me weepy):
http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2008/09/29/080929fa_fact_finnegan
Serolf Divad: There are entirely too few bankers and brokers throwing themselves out of windows and in front of buses these days. I blame the republicans for this lack of personal responsibility.
OH GOD he is such a turd. It’s been such a pleasure watching him implode all over himself. He’s like the Dad from “Affliction”.
Serolf Divad: Good point. It’ll be hoboland for all of us sooner than I think.
Scarier Putin story: Iceland went to Russia for their bailout money. ‘Cause we’re too poor to help. If he keeps buying whole countries, that tiger will be the least of our worries.
Where’s Cy Tolliver when you need him?
Rumor has it that he starts every day scowling in the mirror and repeating “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!” at the top of his lungs repeatedly…while wearing a dress.
I can’t help but think McCain is just a farce put forward by the GOP. They know they’re on their way out, and are checking to see what the Murkans will do. It has becom grotesque.
“Let Mikey try it. He’ll eat anything.”
Cogito Ergo Bibo:
Seriously… I fully expect Russia to just waltz in and buy up everything in Georgia now. No need for an invasion, no need for a war. You want the country? Just buy it. Real estate is cheap everywhere now.
God help us. Bush is going to speak in 20 min. I bet we hit 5000 in 5 minutes.
Servo:
Yeah, Cy would sort this shit out in no time. He’d take him to task like he did to those thieving brother and sister cons who tried to rip him off. And he’d make everyone watch too.
John McCain, you sentimental sweetheart.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpFjLPMLFPk
I miss Felix Rohathyn.
I’ve heard a lot of stories of McCrazy pulling the “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM??” game whenever a someone (usually a woman) treated him like anything less than Emperor of the world. Dude is just a fame-chaser, no wonder he got so pissed at Obama for stealing all of his attention with his likable demeanor and intelligence.
Let me guess, he then called her a cunt and insulted her makeup.
Didn’t McCain talk about having mental isues when he got out of prison? Hasn’t his wife read any of his 5 memoirs?
Gopherit v2.0: I blame sealed windows.
Gopherit v2.0: It’ll be bungee president, again. “Hi-yeah-well-this-sucks-but-we’re-tryin’-to-figure-it-all-out-so-don’t-panic-kthnxbai!”
And MSNBC sounds like a massive propaganda machine (okay, more so than usual) today.
“Look at this fall as an opportunity. REALLY!! It’s a great time to buy!”
We can stuff our shirts with stock certificate for warmth this winter.
TJBeck: That story is totally false. It was TWO responding police officers and an EMT that McInsane killed.
Don’t you know who I am??? Ask the other prisoners at this table… I’m a maverick.
Gopherit v2.0: And hopefully they are prominently display Jim Cramer’s bludgened, severed head on a stick during every cutaway to commercial.
Gopherit v2.0:
Yeah, that worked so well for Bear Stearns.
Reefpilot:
Wu’s pigs would die if you fed them McCain meat.
DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? No, seriously, the face doesn’t ring a bell? C’mon, old, pasty, half-closed eye… Nothing?
Maybe this will help. United States Senate. My wife is totally rich off her ass. Nothing?
Ah, fuck it.
McOnion was just displaying the standard republican political strategy at that craps table.
Republican party:
Attack–always be on the attack
Persevere–stay on message
Energize the base.
JoeFannyPack: Perhaps a dress made of human skin?
“Would you fuck me? I’d fuck me. I’d fuck me hard. I’d fuck me so hard.”
John McCain is a gambler?
Of COURSE, Juan had to chew the bitch out. She was interfering with his right to bear arms.
Apparently, Juan’s this charming ALL the time. Like his vacation in Fiji back in the day:
http://www.snopes.com/politics/mccain/vacation.asp
He ALWAYS likes to ask “Don’t you know who I am?”
To which this lady responded: “Yes, you are the biggest asshole I have ever met.”
I’m just surprised that Juan’s never had to smack a bitch.
Serolf Divad:
They can buy both Georgia’s now. The empty reservoir outside of Atlanta will remind them of the Aral Sea.
TGY:
…and a rambler and a long way from home. If you don’t like him, just leave him alone. He’ll eat when he’s hungry and drink when he’s dry. If the moonshine don’t kill him, he’ll live ’till he dies.
bluebrazos: and 4. Don’t pay your taxes on your gambling winnings because you support the troops but not so much that you want your money to buy, like, communist body armor and shit like that.
woke up this morning to some nut on Fox saying “i can see why jousting is the national sport of Maryland!”
and then i cried.
Terry: Atlanta might welcome that. At least Russia could send oil/gasoline.
Give the man a break. Big chance he was really asking who the hell he was since he tends to forget that himself and couldn’t remember due to alzheimer.
also, maybe we can just that man a tiller? i think that’s all he wants.
ProfessorJukes: Some body tell Cindy that PTSD was not even proposed until after McAnus was doing time in the Hanoi Hilton. Why do I know, I spent twelve years working with veterans groups to have the VA accept it as a service connected disability. During the course of that period I, along with a bunch of other vets, met with Max Cleland while he was Director of the VA (1978 - 1980) and a study we presented was distilled into a paragraph, footnoted and the whole scholarly ball of wax, when the VA published its first tentative findings on whether the ’syndrome’ existed. (Which Ronald Reagan promptly purged from the budgeting by sequestering funds.)
All you Georgia folk should get out to get out Saxby Chambliss - that spineless (I had a football injury when my draft number was called) slug ‘Swiftboated’ Max Celand two years before the term was invented. If Max had survived reelction in 2002, the Swiftboating of John Kerry would never have left the dock.
Canmon (the Inadequate): FTW!!! “Five and a Half-Years, Pitboss!!!”
Doglessliberal: In an interview with Marie Claire mag.
McCAIN: It’s not part of a daily experience that we experience or anything like that. But it [the POW experience] has shaped him. It has made him the leader that he is.
Q: But no cold sweats in the middle of the night?
McCAIN: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. My husband, he’d be the first one to tell you that he was trained to do what he was doing. The guys who had the trouble were the 18-year-olds who were drafted. He was trained, he went to the Naval Academy, he was a trained United States naval officer, and so he knew what he was doing.
—
So apparently those 18 year olds didn’t know what they were doing. WTF?
Gopherit v2.0: There would more defenestrations were it not that their company’s Keyman insurance policies require that they all live and work in sub-basements.
TJBeck: But who hasn’t had one of those morinings? Let’s not judge too harshly.
tednugentslover: So that would spell…let’s see…right. Now I understand why Dick and Bush were such a natural team.
Gopherit v2.0: I don’t know who knows what when, but in my building, they came through last summer and took all the latches off the windows and welded them shut. There are four or five floors of Merril Lynch Special Account brokers in the building. “Yes, Albany, but I’m sorry your teacher’s pension plan is now worth $6.53.”
ProfessorJukes: Fricking “Marie Claire Magazine”, where the fricking mettle of our fricking leaders is revealed.
Why hasn’t the goddam revolution started yet? Saint-Just, we need you now. http://www.culturewars.com/CultureWars/Archives/Fidelity_archives/fid_images/concorde2.jpg
Joe Biden said it all yesterday when he basically called Walnuts at pussy. Yay!!
ProfessorJukes: Oh crap! I have that magazine at home but couldn’t bring myself to read it! I did read Michelle’s interview, which made me love her more.
It must’ve been the Cialis talking. Seriously, that shit will make you f*cking crazy!
Doglessliberal: read “it” meaning the interview with Cindy.
MoodProcessor: I always maintained that Dole ‘96 was just a pass by the Bushistas (The Grand Old Patronnes of the Grand Old Party) to hold a place until two terms of Clinton were finished and W. could take over. Poppy and W. and the even more evil Johnathan, (who held the record for civil securities fraud fines for an individual up until Eron) just threw this one to McCain knowing that when the financial clamnity comes and Obama goes down as a one term president, they roll out Jeb or Marvin.
this revelation about teh touching gives new layers of complexity to that photo of hugging with Bush.
I hope in the last debate Barry comes out and gives him a long handshake, maybe touches his elbow with the other hand, puts his arm around his shoulders, musses up his hair, etc. Or maybe stands right up close and uses one flat hand to show how tall Walnuts comes up to on him.
Serolf Divad: Maybe you need new windshield wipers! I always forget to change mine until the first downpour of depressed brokers.
Do you know who I am, you cunt?
Serolf Divad: I’m shorting the morning star.
MoodProcessor: I’ve have a similar thought–that the GOP overlords hate him for being such a prick, and figured this was the time to eliminate him as a pain in the ass on the national scene.
She must not have been a drugged out beer heiress or a mentally challenged moose burger chef from Methtown by Russia.
“DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU’RE TALKING TO?” - sure not “that one.”
This is perfectly understandable. Everyone knows that women are bad luck at a craps table, or on the campaign trail.
Nobody fucks with Boxcars McCain when he’s losing his wife’s money. NO ONE!
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
There’s something far more sinsister afoot here. The same party that manuevered their way into office on a diabolically brilliant, underhanded strategy two terms in a row now fucks things up on a daily basis? I think not. Wake up people…
At his age, he’s surely not anywhere near the Come line…
He’s the Juggernaut, bitch!
Friend sent along this story, perhaps because I’ve spent a little too much time in casinos. I read it and yawned. A non-story, waste of time. Adds nothing to the debate. In a way the piece is gossip and gossip is lazy and lazy is loathsome. It’s the worst case of preaching to the choir—representative of the kind of self-satisfied sniping that is the rhetorical equivalent of a circle jerk.
I’ve been supporting and raising money for Obama since November ‘07, so it’s natural I find a piece like this entirely beside the point.