Wonkette
- OH HEY THE DOW
‘S ABOUT TO DROPDROPPED BELOW 9,000:8,916,8,8748,790 at the moment.Just turn on CNBC or Bloomberg TV, this is remarkable. A year ago today, it hit the all-time record of 14,165. So the value of the 30 biggest companies has plummeted by37%38.8% over these past 12 long and hideous months. [Marketwatch]
It stops at zero, right?
Too late. Already did that. Rebounded slightly. If it reaches 6666 (the number of the bigger, stronger beast) is it officially the Rapture?
I don’t feel well.
Dropeed? In my pants?
Good thing John McCain is on the case and focusing all his attention on the economy
Good thing John McCain is on the case and focusing all his attention on the economy
I hear there’s gold on the American River.
If Elton John were here, he’d sing “The Circle of Life” and everything would be better.
The economy is in the tank….. no, not for Obama, just IN THE FUCKIN TANK!
This is obviously happening because we’re not spending enough time talking about William Ayers.
Serolf Divad: Serolf Divad: n00bie!
So when can we afford to not give a fuck?
Since Sept 15, it’s been pretty much one fist up the world’s collective ass with those odd stretches when the fist is removed to prevent cramping.
RubberSoul: If only Hopey had agreed to those 75 town hall meetings, McCain wouldn’t have had to trash the economy.
Th Dow was as overpriced as most people’s houses.
Obviously Jeebus took all his money out of the market and went home.
I think jeremiah wright prayed for teh fail.
RubberSoul: And Reverend Wright. Those two ruin EVERYTHING.
SayItWithWookies: No, if things go JUST RIGHT, it will go into the negative #’s and then Lehman Brothers/Charles Schwab/et al will PAY YOU to take stocks. Of course, all they will really be doing is asking you to take out their trash…..
SayItWithWookies:
How do you work this internet thing?
Frampton Comes Alive: No, that’s the Arabic pronunciation of ‘dropped’. Obviously, Wonkette is IN THE TANK for notorious terrorist-lover and suspected black man Obama.
Boy, good thing we’ve been regulating the markets and staving off a recession for 12 years. That couldn’t possibly have all combined to form a huge financial meltdown. It’s just too logical.
Yay! This is like golf, right? USA! USA! USA!
Read and learn, my friends:
http://www.wikihow.com/Panhandle
But I thought the fundamentals were still strong?
SayItWithWookies: Unfortunately no, once it goes below zero the Chinese (led by James Spader) will breech our shoreline and deliver purple nurples to the busty and not so busty alike. Prepare yourselves for the mindless Mongolian hordes who will lay claim to your entire stash of bad midget porn. In the meantime stay limber, I’ll see you in the salt mines.
And now, for another edition of “Which Network’s in The Tank for Obama?” This week’s guest: msnbc.com which is currently running a slideshow as follows:
Pic 1- Smiley Hopey shaking hands with an adoring crowd
Pic 2- Palin/Walnuts/Ice Queen entering a venue looking like stormtroopers
Pic 3- Little white girl with eyes full of hope, sitting next to a black woman also full of Hope
Pic 4- Fate drunk bastards in the cheap seats holding up signs filled with lies
Please to enjoy.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: monty: I think that it is high time Sarah Palin’s witchdoctor remove the evil spell from the economy!
Why are the poor doing this to us?
And learn the hobo code:
* spearhead - defend yourself
* circle with two parallel arrows - get out fast, hobos not welcome
* wavy line (signifying water) above an X - fresh water and a campsite nearby
* three diagonal lines - not a safe place.
* cross - “angel food,” (food served to hobos after a party)
dano: Hardly. But P/E ratios of 9 or 8 or even 6 are probably on the way.
Far be it for me, a humble citizen of this doomed democracy, but where the HELL is W when the world is caving in? Shouldn’t he be on the teevee, comforting us with his non-knowledge of anything while mangling the English language?? Is he in the oval office trying to figure out a Ziggy cartoon? Sheesh….
Me and the Joads are loading up the ‘ol Hudson truck and heading off to California!
Oddly, the Inner City American African in the America Madrassa Fund has skyrocketed, eerily matching Hopey’s rise on InTrade.
The rest of the world is desperately trying to figure out how to insulate themselves from any more U.S. financial turbulence.
This is the part where the rest of the world tells the Roman Empire to shut the fuck up and go home.
The 21st C fall of the Holy Roman Empire came about because the Emperor told the ruling class “Do to us as it pleases you.”
Now the Death Star is imploding and we’re all stuck in the Detention level.
dano: The market was inflated and had been for years. It’s prolly oversold now, however. It’ll be a couple of years before it finds its actual value. Or not. I mean, McCain could win and then “pass” as they say back home and Sarah is the prez and declares a theocracy and then it’s the Handmaid’s Tale and we all move to Canada before the borders close. Good times.
magic titty: You kidding? Not giving a fuck is the only thing going up in value right now. By November you’ll have to be a trillionaire to do that.
You guys really need to invest in the Opposite Stock Market. This last year has been great for those of us with money in Bizzarro Stearns.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
When and where is the torch party and is it BYOT?
I’m gonna put the rest of my bills into stripper g-strings for safe keeping.
GM is at Christmas 1950 levels. 1950!
http://www.marketwatch.com/news/story/gm-falls-1950-levels-european/story.aspx?guid=%7BC503DCF6-2571-42CD-AFA4-682958304034%7D&siteid=yhoof
Here’s a reminder of how wonderful things were in 1950 - check out those U.S. troops having a blast over what appears to be burning gasoline in a barrel in Korea! Guess what, troops, you’ll be there for another 100 years! Why not! So peaceful there now!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDM0G613kP4
Fly-over Correspondent: The fundamentals are watching Judge Mathis and masturbating into bag of Doritos.
I feel an enormous crime wave coming.
Dollar cost averaging will mean that all of us can buy all of the stocks in the universe every month.
Texan Bulldoggette: Actually I find the thought that MonkeyBoy might be keeping his hands off of this mess to be rather comforting. If he was involved, the Dow would probably be at .00000001 by now.
Serolf Divad: I’d have the mechanic check your steering wheel.
Texan Bulldoggette: Dubya is a Titanic Fail, I for one am grateful he’s hiding, I’ve ruined too many teevees…
…I will now go and spend whats left of my 401k on lottery tickets.
WhatTheHeck: Just a ray of sunshine today, aren’t you?
Miller: Mccain gets to be president of Bizarro worlds America. Palin can also say something intelligent there.
dano: SURF IT BRO!!! LOCALS ONLY!!!
magic titty: If I ever ate the Cool Ranch, I’d never eat them again. Yuck.
I’m glad Halloween is almost here. I won’t be so embarrassed going door to door begging for table scraps.
I’m also glad McCain decided to “turn the page” on the economy because not talking about this problem is really helping me to forget about it.
…that $20 that Bob Allen was offering in that bathroom is looking mighty appealing right about now!
facehead: A guy can dream, can’t he?
Anyone else want to invade Bush’s Paraguay pleasure dome after he evacuates the country in February?
How can I entice you…we’ll be greeted as liberators!?!
dano: In the streets or in the governement? Or both?
The Cold Sea: Have you been reading the guys blog documenting her connections to the joels army movement also ?
I received a call about my account from my broker. It seems that because my account balance has fallen below a certain threshold, I would now need to pay a fee for check and debit card privileges. So, he wants a check for $35.00.
I hung up.
wow at this rate there will be now market in a few weeks
Toonces: Don’t you ever hang up on me again, you wanker. I’m down to my last styrofoam peanuts and I need that $35.
RubberSoul: Oh, I didn’t mean he should actually DO anything–he’s just supposed to pay some kind of uplifting lip service like ‘don’t start eating the sofa yet, there’s plenty of dog food left in those places where you can buy food.’ Or something like that….
Ken Layne: Don’t you have to have earnings to have earnings?
TJBeck: Your new Chevrolet has an engine with pistons that need ALMOST no attention! Better than any other fine mechanism you own! Able to be towed into a ramp at 40 MPH without . . well, without crashing too badly - might hurt without seatbelts… but whatever!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jlQo4Xt59PU
Whoa, off 600 near the close. That’s going to leave a mark.
Dow is down almost 7 percent.
SayItWithWookies: Dammit. I guess those wily snopesters won’t let me link to the picture on this page: http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/hoaxes/computer.asp .
I’ve started cutting holes in a 55 gal drum for the grand opening of my sidewalk hand-warming business. 5 cents for 5 minutes. 10 cents for a cup of cowboy coffee, for everyone who can’t afford Starbucks (or even Dunkin’ Donuts) anymore. Looking at selling franchises in Iceland, when their new basalt currency gets going there.
“For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.”
we hope . . .
Kingbee: do you accept old, non working electronic devices, maybe an old cell phone who’s service has shut down, or an iPhone for which I can no longer afford the electricity for a recharge? My hands are getting quite c-c-coold . . .. so cold . . . [weeping]
Pencils! I have pencils for sale!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HvE65VOcAL0&feature=related
the people closing are about to cry turn on msnbc
Outstando:
It gets better
Low for today’s session is….
…wait for it….
A nice, neat and clean 666 point drop for the day.
Hey, if you’re gonna let it burn, then you might as well let it burn.
Why the hell hasn’t John McCain suspended his campaign so he can go and fix this already? Damn that old fucking bastard! He’s never around when we need him.
dano: Srsly. Google is still worth over 300 bucks a share. Pets.com had more tangible assets.
Also, sorta on topic: Weird Al recession-proofs T.I.’s new hit “Whatever You Like”.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRVi0paZlfI
How come Wonkette is doing a better job reporting real issues than Mark “Human Toilet” Halperin?
Problem: Google is going to build a Server Ship. It’s gonna float around the world, extracting electricity with wind, tides, and the sun, providing offshore server space via satelite.
I have applied to be Swabbie.
I’m going home and yes, I will drink another bottle of wine tonight. The good stuff.
Ken Layne: As someone who has most of his cash in cash right now (and for 6 years now), sounds like buying opportunities, comin’ up.
Time to look up the account numbers and passcodes of those trading accounts and IRA’s I’ve had dormant since the dotcom bubble busted. I’m goin’ in two-fisted when this thing bottoms out.