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TURN ON THE PRINTER

  • HERE’S A LITTLE EXTRA, BUY SOMETHING NICE FOR MRS. AIG: The government will give terrible insurance whore AIG another $37.8 billion loan in addition to the $85 billion one it received last month. (Ken mentioned this too!) All you have to do is ask politely and put on a sad puppy face! WOULD ANYONE ELSE WHO MADE BAD DECISIONS LIKE SOME FRESH BILLIONS IN U.S. DEBT? Underwater homeowners, failed financial giants, they’re fixin’ on a windfall alright. Debt is for fairies! Now everyone go max out your credit cards and buy fourteen houses, don’t bother with a mortgage, just give ‘em $3.42 and put the rest on the government’s tab. [AP]


5:40 PM on Wed October 8 2008
By Jim Newell
636 Views

  1. Delicious says at 5:43 pm, October 8th, 2008

    They need more spa treatments.

  2. I can see Russia from the health spa.

  3. Gopherit v2.0 says at 5:48 pm, October 8th, 2008

    Multi-billion dollar international corporations have become the plucky protagonists in this Dickensian world in which we live.

    “Please, sir. May I have some more?”

  4. tonashideska says at 5:49 pm, October 8th, 2008

    Delicious:Rush: tttthhhhhhhhhpppppppp! (Bronx cheer) I wanted to say that.

  5. The National Debt Clock has to add a “tens” place now, as it goes only up to 9,999,999,999,999.99

    Until they can install the new feature, they are sticking up a big painted “1″

  6. Cogito Ergo Bibo says at 5:51 pm, October 8th, 2008

    You just haven’t lived until you’ve had a $37.8 billion manicure.

  7. whore4hope says at 5:57 pm, October 8th, 2008

    Seriously, people act like all these bailouts are a big deal. The government PRINTS that money. They’ll just make more. (And if you stuff the paper in your boots it can keep your feet warm as you sleep outside during this long, cold winter known as the Palin administration.)

  8. Larry Fine says at 5:57 pm, October 8th, 2008

    Maybe if we bring back slavery the economic crisis will abate.

  9. crunchymunchy says at 5:59 pm, October 8th, 2008

    Why aren’t we rioting in the streets? Who is looking out for us?

    Ron Paul might have done something about this: http://tinyurl.com/66o79q

  10. SayItWithWookies says at 6:00 pm, October 8th, 2008

    Gee, the Bush administration is rewarding failure — I certainly hope they don’t make this a trend…

  11. Gopherit v2.0 says at 6:02 pm, October 8th, 2008

    crunchymunchy: Yes, but thank the gods, he’s dead. Right?

  12. Cogito Ergo Bibo says at 6:03 pm, October 8th, 2008

    SayItWithWookies: In America, every bank/corporation is special.

  13. ManchuCandidate says at 6:03 pm, October 8th, 2008

    Relax people. It’s just Fiat money. It’s not worth anything according to this Ron Paul Pamphlet on the Ekonimie I got from some cheeto stained blimp fat rider in a cat costume.

    All will be cured by alchemy via the gold standard.

  14. facehead says at 6:09 pm, October 8th, 2008

    This is COMPLETELY off-topic, and COMPLETELY disturbing (warning: I am not kidding),
    if you are prone to having nightmares, or are generally over-imaginative, do not click the following link (second warning: not a joke!).

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lo_DMX5JfhQ&feature=related

    THIRD WARNING: THIS IS FUCKING CREEPY!!!

    I started to look into the whole “Obama is the anti-christ” thing, and I pretty much blown away at how many maniacs actually buy into this (ridiculous number of utube videos). In short, I was creeped out, and would feel better knowing others were creeped out with me. Jim, plz don’t ban me if you think this is too fucked up, just delete it.

  15. give us a bob says at 6:13 pm, October 8th, 2008

    It is quite exhilarating that finally we’ve solved the inherent unfairness in currency, and now live in a truly money-free society. Those green bits of paper in your pocket (or lack thereof), just as those math numbers on your credit card statement, will trouble you no more! I’m basking in my liberation.

  16. Anonymous Office Zombie says at 6:13 pm, October 8th, 2008

    I’m a little confused. Isn’t Bush supposed to be the uber-Conservative guy, and wasn’t Kerry the French LIEberal who was going to destroy America with his Socialist Communism? Did these two switch scripts or something?

  17. user-of-owls says at 6:16 pm, October 8th, 2008

    Well, one good thing is that now we can just alphabetize when we put the bastards up against the wall come the revolution. Unless Wachovia is getting pedicures.

  18. facehead says at 6:21 pm, October 8th, 2008

    facehead: 2 make up for my last post, here are some seriously cute and funny animals:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USXJrvIugEo&feature=related

    I think I’m drinking too much coffee.

  19. SayItWithWookies says at 6:26 pm, October 8th, 2008

    facehead: You sold me. I can’t wait to go home and watch this.

  20. Kinbote says at 6:30 pm, October 8th, 2008

    facehead: The light just shone down. I experienced an epiphany. I have to vote for Barack:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxfDEdG0qBs&feature=related

  21. I keep sayin’ this, ‘cos it’s true!

    Large urbanized groups of people will always be more economically significant and more successful than small groups and rural areas. After all, many of the red-staters in this country are merely the descendants of those poor farmers who were nearly starved to death, amidst plenty, by plummeting farm commodity prices for nearly all of the twentieth century. Of course they’re pretty much born angry, bless their hearts. They never made any money because they had a one dimensional economy, while modern financial methods built the modern teat-world we were all fuzzily suckled in.

    And it will happen again. Once our infrastructure adjusts to high energy prices, modern economies will once again drive farm commodity suppliers into poverty. I’m not gloating about this, but the blue states are STILL the future. History never goes backwards.

    BTW, can anyone lend me a dollar to buy some dried jack-rabbit navy beans?

  22. facehead: Naw, I’m not creeped out by it. Hell, I WANT it to be true, that is why I am voting for Obama. After FIVE and A HALF weeks of Palin’s nonsensical ramblings that some people are actually falling for, I just want the world to end so God can start all over again. It is time to immanetize the Eschaton.

    Just remember, John Dillinger Died for YOU!

  23. nurple: That’s because they are not counting the out years of social security that we borrowed against. If you include the loans from the social security trust, you will need a couple of more digit places.

    i.e. we war giving Ken’s social Security to AIG. Sorry Ken.

  24. VeraClouzot says at 6:37 pm, October 8th, 2008

    I can remember how many houses - I mean cardboard boxes - I have.

  25. professor.cj says at 6:38 pm, October 8th, 2008

    If only my dealer worked at AIG and could work out some kind of front where I never had to leave my keyboard again…… wait, what, am I typing out loud again?

  26. Gopherit v2.0 says at 6:41 pm, October 8th, 2008

    facehead: Jesus Face! Where the hell do you find these videos?

  27. Pelagius says at 6:45 pm, October 8th, 2008

    Maybe Zimbabwe can loan us a few of those ten trillion dollar notes they’ve been printing.

  28. facehead says at 6:51 pm, October 8th, 2008

    Gopherit v2.0: ty (and all) for being creeped out with me. I was just clicking through the u-tube, and, in short, there are all these fucking maniacs who (apparently) REALLY BELIEVE that obama is the anti-christ. I try hard to understimate the idiocy of others, so I was bugged when I found that.

  29. facehead says at 6:58 pm, October 8th, 2008

    facehead: Bah, I’m being too serious. Yes, the video is entirely creepy (fur realz), the other creepy point is this: if there are CHRISTIANS who are willing to bomb abortion clinics, think how many there are who’d be willing to physically harm Obama (if they assume he is the anti-christ, which apparently, many do).

    Ok, creep fest over, I go find cute animal videoz nowz.

  30. facehead: Check out the “prayerhour” guy…. a video from his VERY VERY white livingroom. He seems to have his own ‘church’ that seeks donations, etc. I wonder if he is claiming IRS tax exempt status???

  31. facehead says at 7:07 pm, October 8th, 2008

    azw88: you fucking with me? I thought that was a joke. O dear.

  32. The Incomparable Tiny Valdez says at 7:18 pm, October 8th, 2008

    I don’t even need one billion. I would like $56, 374 to resolve some immediate liquidity issues. Thanks.

  33. …and I’m sorry about that word salad. I just don’t want to see a Mad Max meltdown, not until I’ve gotten a little buff.

  34. HomoPolitico says at 7:34 pm, October 8th, 2008

    Must. Control. Fist. Of. Death.

  35. SayItWithWookies says at 8:53 pm, October 8th, 2008

    facehead: Oh, well — that was disappointing. I was hoping for something really disturbing from your build-up of it. That’s pretty much SFW. In fact, I think I watched that when I was a kid on Saturday mornings before the parents got up. Bless their hearts, whatever happened to them? And that chainsaw?

  36. edgydrifter says at 11:24 pm, October 8th, 2008

    azw88: fnord

  37. Big Al1317 says at 11:41 pm, October 8th, 2008

    I have lots of Monopoly money. Can I use that to pay off some debts?

  38. gliberal says at 7:51 am, October 9th, 2008

    AIG officials said they were forced to go on that retreat because they were going to lose their deposit. Spa treatments were actually to make their bottom line more attractive. Breaking: AIG spokesman reveals they are officially going to change their name to ARGH.

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