‘That One’ Vs. ‘Energizer Bunny’

Oct 08 8:37 am 2008
  • Campaign advisors for “that one” did not like it last night when John McCain was SO DISRESPECTFUL to the Democratic candidate. [Washington Wire]
  • The banking crisis has crossed the Pacific, and now various Asian governments as well as Australia are putting more money into their systems to prevent a further spread of badness. [Bloomberg]
  • The British are also bailing out their banks. [New York Times]
  • Will the Canadians be our new Chinese bankers? [Bloomberg]
  • The one big beneficiary of this financial meltdown: our U.S. Treasury market, which has seen prices soar as frightened investors note their mattresses are already stuffed and they need someplace stable to put their money. [Reuters]
  • A couple of body language experts watched the debate last night and one pronounced John McCain “warm and fuzzy.” [Los Angeles Times]
  • Russia began its final pull-out of the “buffer zone” around South Ossetia, but they are staying in the areas they seized during this summer’s brief war with Georgia. [Guardian]

About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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60 comments

  1. EnBuenOra

    John McCain is warm and fuzzy like month old bread left on the counter in a hot, damp, Georgia summer.

  2. Tommy Says Soooo

    No one has mentioned Hopey’s victory…not a one question on aborted gunowners who hate teh gays. The only “Value” issue will be DICK Morris, Karl Rove et al on Fox on their post-election Fox News circle jerk conveniently forgetting how they scored every debate a Walnuts win.

  7. Tommy Says Soooo

    Walnuts looked like an old man trying to find a dime on his front lawn, since a dime could buy a hooker in Saigon back in the day and that’s real money.

  9. slappypaddy

    …warm as in a hotcha gotcha, fizzin an fuzzin, jumpin jack mcnuggits dissin dat one, preppin fer subtle negotiations wit rootin tootin putin…

  10. Hunter Gathers

    What kind of whackiness today? Will Caribou Barbie accuse Obama of starting the riots at the ’68 Democratic Convention? Instigating the Civil War? Running around with Benedict Arnold?
    The McCain/Palin: Stranger Than Fiction Tour rolls on!!!

  12. Delicious

    If Hopey doesn’t fuck this up, I think I’m going to relax now and watch the Conservatards go through various stages of denial and apoplectic fits.

    Mmmmmmm….donuts

  16. jodyleek

    McNuts is about as warm and fuzzy as a rash. Anybody else seeing Gramp’s as the reincarnation of Tricky Dick?

    Nixon/Avon Lady ’08

  17. Guppy06

    You know what I do when I “pull out” of “buffer zones” but “stay within the area?”

  19. Die Gelbe Gefahr

    [re=126027]echoman2000[/re]: you know, I think he was being sarcastical or whatevz.

    but I always tend to look for the good in people.

  20. ProgHead777

    [re=126020]wtf_files[/re]: What, they’ve run out of Bjork CDs?

    [re=126027]echoman2000[/re]: Uranus, apparently.

  21. Dientes

    (“expert” on McCain’s body language)”likeable and dynamic. This was the best format for him. He would talk to the people, have direct eye contact. When he reached over to the petty officer and gave him a pat, it was quite touching. I think Sarah Palin has been a great influence on him.”

    Next she is going to teach him the Pageant wave. Then we are all screwed.

  24. Sussemilch

    That one thinks that he’s so fine
    That soon he’ll have my mind
    That one thinks that he’s so smart
    That soon he’ll have my heart
    He thinks in no time flat
    That he’ll be free and clear to start
    With his economic rescue of us
    that he’ll tear McCain apart

  26. mattbolt

    Canadian banks already put together a package to bail out American banks. They pretty much just rustled together a couple billion and airdropped it into the warzone of Wall Street, where savage rebel forces of Wachovanites and MorganChasers and WaMunians could grab all they could carry and scuttle back into their dark caves. I work at a Canadian bank, so I wasn’t really onboard with this “giving free money to competitors” idea, but I guess a rising tide lifts all ships so it’s good to dump some water into the ocean when there’s some Bermuda Triangle whirlpool shit going on.

  27. Tommy Says Soooo

    [re=126039]mattbolt[/re]: You know why Canadian bankers like doing it doggy style? So they can watch the hoboes bumfight for quarts of Quebecois spittoon dregs.

  29. nurple

    I was with Sister Truth last time, so I side with Dano this time. I hedge my bets. Mmmm…hedge…to sleep under.

  30. Serolf Divad

    [re=126038]dano[/re]:

    Sarcasm? Dammit, Dano, all this time I thought you were a, semi-literate, good ol’ boy old-time-religion believin’ redneck like myself. Take this as official notice that you’re no longer welcome to visit my Teutonic Pride Facebook page.

  31. Canuckledragger

    For the past 18 months, the people of Canuckistan have loved “that one” more than any other candydate. The polls have been clear and consistent.

    So, how best to help “that one” win against all the other losers and also-rans? Send in a double-secret Canuckstani to fuck up the opposition, which is precisely what we did:

    http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2008/10/07/Palin_bloodlines_lead_to_Canada/UPI-42481223399333/

    Now, as for acquiring your useless bank stocks and bad paper….

    ARE YOU FUCKIN’ KIDDING ME???

  32. echoman2000

    s[re=126038]dano[/re]: me bad. should have coffee before i start. didn’t watch last night. but won several drinking games. i will now go tip a cow or something.

  33. InKnockYouUs

    [re=126039]mattbolt[/re]: Update: the Morgan Chasers have already eaten the WaMunians whole and the Wachonovites are next to be digested.

  34. dano

    [re=126048]echoman2000[/re]: No harm, no foul. It’s just that I don’t usually get called a “stupid fuck” until around noon.

  35. Undeterredbyreality

    Glass “also thought his inflection might be a turn-off to some voters. “He’d say, ‘Pahk-ee-stahn,’ or ‘Tolly-bahn.’ You need to say Pakistan and Taliban like everyone else.””

    Yeah–you need to say it like an ignorant redneck, or you’re not gonna get their votes, idjit!

  36. sanantonerose

    [re=126020]wtf_files[/re]: Yeah, I need some ice! Wait…it’s actually Greenland that has all the ice, right?

  38. DoctorCulturae

    Right. “Warm and fuzzy” like a porcupine in a nail factory, like uranium in an aluminum tube, like castor oil on the rocks…

  43. mattbolt

    So there’s the 5 major Canadian banks, right? Individually they’re alright, but y’know what happens when 5 small things merge together? They become a huge mega-robot like Voltron! Behold, Royal Scotia Bank Of Montreal Dominion Of Commerce, the biggest bank in North America, prepared to crush puny Citibank, raawrrrr

  44. Doc Gerbil

    I thought I spotted a big yellow onion tied on Gramy’s belt last night, I had no idea that belt onions were back in style.

    We can learn stuff from these mavericks.

  45. tennessee Jed clampett

    [re=126057]TJBeck[/re]: the judge should give this kid a medal and send him back to college.

  47. JoeFannyPack

    You know “that one” is an anagram for “not hate” so I think this was actually an endorsement.

  49. magic titty

    Fucking Obama wasn’t even good in that debate yesterday, and he still beat that old turd. I guess the GOP’s Klan rallies and whisper campaigns are all that’s left.

    Anyway, did you know Barack Obama fathered a black baby?

  50. TJBeck

    Some commenter on 538.com just brought this up – McCain wasn’t wearing a flag pin, yet Obama was.

  51. Serolf Divad

    [re=126056]Hello Sunshine[/re]:

    Seriously: either dye the hair black, buddy, or dye the eyebrows white, but the calico look is just freaky as hell on a human person being.

  52. WadISay

    Hey body language consultants, analyze THIS. Whichever commenter on these pages who said last night that McCain was lurching around the stage like a drunk penguin wrapped in a parka had it exactly right.

  55. Doc Gerbil

    [re=126109]WadISay[/re]:

    The man can barely lift his arms for gods sake, if he wants to lurch around drunkenly we shouldn’t complain.

    I heard he was a POW the other day, I never knew that.

  56. accidental_tourist

    Any senator who would be so dismissive of another senator in a political debate…is probably the type of man who would shove an elderly wheelchair-bound woman into a wall for simply asking the status of her POW family member.

    Somebody apparently told McCain he shines in the town hall format and he believed it. They lied.

  57. President Beeblebrox

    [re=126020]wtf_files[/re]: Damn. Iceland was where I was gonna flee if Walnuts! is elected. I guess it’s Canada now.

  59. accidental_tourist

    [re=126229]President Beeblebrox[/re]: For me it’s been a toss-up between Crete and Reykjavik.

    Some Wiki stuff about Iceland: (and how it’s everything America COULD be if Hopey wins)

    With this widespread availability of geothermal power, and because many rivers and waterfalls are harnessed for hydroelectricity, most residents have hot water and home heat cheaply.

    The corporate tax rate is a flat 18 percent, one of the lowest in the world.

    Iceland is the most developed society in the world, ranked first on the United Nations’ Human Development Index. Icelanders are the second longest-living nation with a life expectancy at birth of 81.8 years. Iceland is one of the most egalitarian countries in the world, according to the calculation provided by the Gini coefficient

    And this seals the deal: Some traditional beliefs remain today; for example, some Icelanders either believe in elves or are unwilling to rule out their existence. Inhabitants of mountainous areas still pay homage to these beliefs by constructing stone piles near roads and tracks. [42] Iceland ranks first on the Human Development Index, and was recently ranked the fourth happiest country in the world.

    Looking at the polls today, maybe we can plan on staying here after all? That will take a readjustment in thinking, but it’s certainly doable.

  60. nurple

    In Denmark, they alter the routes of planned roads so they don’t disturb elves and goblins, or “huldenfolk”.

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