Boss man caint take mah lamps.NO MORE DRINKING GAMES, JUST DRINKING: Here’s your Tuesday Night Financial Apocalypse Obama-Biden Town Hall Debate Schedule. At 8:30 p.m. Eastern, join us for exciting pre-debate live-blogging, followed by hours of crazy debate and post-debate liveblogging from your editors, including Sara K., who is back at work, finally. Because of the National Crisis, there are no more frivolous drinking games. Just lots of quiet, angry drinking. [MSNBC Debates]

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  1. From an email my hubby received today. I can’t attest to it’s accuracy, but darn funny.:

    If you had purchased $1,000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock one year ago you would have $49.00 left.

    With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00.

    With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.

    But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all of the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, you would have $214.00 cash.

    Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.

    It’s called the 401-Keg

    A recent study found the average American walks about 900 miles a year.

    Another study found Americans drink, on the average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.

    That means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon.

    Makes You Proud To Be An American!

  2. I need something more depressing than drinking for this. Quick! Can someone make up an Injecting Game?

    Also, Obama-Biden = Obama-McCain?

  3. Welcome back, SKS, I missed you.

    That said, I’m sitting this one out, folks. There’s nothing I can add to the snark. My coworkers and I are sitting around and shaking our heads sadly at Palin’s pathetic attempts to continue making shit up. I don’t know if I’m in the mood to watch McCain go completely insane tonight. At least, not live.

  4. [re=124202]jagorev[/re]: Having a baby? Ahh… no, not egzackly.

    But sometimes there’s a big loooong line for abortions at the free clinic.

    (Kidding! Just kidding!)

  5. [re=124215]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I will follow your advice and then promptly forward you the bill for my stomach pumping and liver replacement. Sounds great I am in!!

  6. [re=124201]Strappo[/re]: what’s the point of not being angry? It’s what stirs us to take it until we can’t take it any more. There’s your change agent. It’s not always going to be a hope-filled senator from Illinois.

  7. I’m guessing SKS was enjoying a nice, restful mid-campaign vacation break in elitist France or some such. She certainly deserves it.

    (Insert, hearts, starbursts, unicorns etc please don’t ban me)

  8. Whoa, children, I was being IRONIC about Newell’s anger, as if he were McCranky. A righteous anger is good.

    Sara came back today? Ah. This morning seems a long time ago.

    Anyway, welcome back Sara la bella.

  9. [re=124202]jagorev[/re]: Well, you know these ultra-left America-hating perverts. She probably went to an abortion party and had one just to show her contempt for LIFE.

  10. [re=124252]facehead[/re]: No more Bear Grylls. That was vile. Besides, every time I hear McCain or Palin speak, I taste camel poo juice.

  11. “Just lots of quiet, angry drinking.”

    The debate would be a lot more fun if that was the format for the debate itself, instead of “town hall.”

  12. I drink too fast to wait for McCain to say “Maverick” every time anyway. Though I will take an extra big shot o’whatever if he insults one of the questioners for asking something he doesn’t like.

  13. Jesus Christ. I thought the apocalypse would be more interesting. My acid flashback dreams the past few nights have interesting. This economic meltdown, not so much.

  14. BRB, I’m gonna run out and sell my pantyhose so’s I can git me a boxa’wine, so’s I can drink angrily tonght, debate or no debate…

  15. Everytime McCain says Obama is “naive” you have to take a slug of Jameson’s. Every time he says Obama “just doesn’t understand” you have to take a toke. Sometime in the first 30 minutes, you will stop caring and just start giggling that you’d love to see Barack put his elbow on McCain’s head and just lean on him. Use him for a stage prop. Yeah. That’d be so cool. Go Barry.


  17. Drinking game? I’ll tell you a fun driking game. Strap the candidates to a table, and force-feed ’em grain alcohol every time they say something can dispute.

  18. [re=124275]NoWireHangers[/re]: Although its still losing
    ( ),
    if we start voting like Florida, there will be nothing left of this country. The parental notification for abortions (of which my editorial made it into many IMPORTANTlike newspapers in Cal) has been on the ballot 4 FUCKING TIMES now, and that one is looking like it’s passing this year. WE ARE A STATE OF SODOMITE CHRISTIANS NOW.

  19. Damn this new Great Depression.

    I didn’t mind the financial ruin, but now I get a drinking game thread with no drinking game, and a picture of some 1930’s losers holding lamps for some reason instead of that smokin’ hot drunk girl on the toilet with the pitcher of beer.

    This I will not stand for!

  20. [re=124307]Godot[/re]: yeah, that chick was HOT and made me yearn for college once again… then I say that cluster-fuck of a photo with Ooompa-loompas, a fat chick (if it WAS a chick) and crying rabbits and my dick went limp forever. Maybe my senator Mccain will oan me a few of his little blue pills!

  21. [re=124271]FreshCliches[/re]: Yeah — What’s the over/under on how long Wonkette stays up this time? Put me down for $5 on the first time “Keating 5” comes up.

  22. If the second debate is as much worse than first debate as the second Walnuts video was than the first Walnuts video, then we will all be dead soon. Dead of awfulness.

  23. Have you read this?

    “Apparently that 2 1/2-hour anniversary dinner Barack and Michelle Obama celebrated at Spiaggia Restaurant Friday night went pretty well. ‘Happy anniversary!’ a supporter shouted to Michelle Obama at a fund-raiser at Newsweb President Fred Eychaner’s Lakeview home Monday night. ‘Thank you! We had a good date too,’ Obama said with a smile as the crowd began to cheer. ‘We did, yeah… Enough said.'”

  24. “Kitchen table” is the magic word in my drinking game tonight. I picked it because I want to die of acute alcohol poisoning 30 minutes in.

  25. Being erudite as I am (I’m not really sure what that word means, but figure it makes me sound smart) I think I’ll be watching the debate coverage on the BBC. Okay, BBCAmerica, the dumbed down version. Still, they have those really cool accents that make you want to beg for free drugs and buy gold.

    But I’m starting with Keith O. McCain linked to NeoNazi death groups? Okay, I’m in! Go get Walnuts, Keith!

  26. When McCain goes negative how much you wanna bet Barry looks at him and says “these kinds of attacks are really beneath you John. You should be ashamed.” That’s when Walnuts will fucking lose his shit and call him a “Darkie”. You know it’s coming. Hell it’ll probably help him with The Base.

  27. “McCain was the star”
    “It really was his night”
    “I’ve never seen a more convincing argument for voting republican”
    –The ghost of Strom Thurman 10/08/09

  28. I have a serious question. Is anyone still sober enough to consider something serious?

    Is the Rs hysteria going to backfire? Is it only to liberals that they look hysterical, or will Joe Six Fingers, or whoever TF Sassy Sarah is talking to, notice?

    I mean, they are everywhere, the Fox Newsnuts, the candidates, all of them running around in circles screaming hysterically? Will even the undecideds (aka, the I’m-not-paying-attentions) pick up the scent of losing and hysteria? (Sorry I used hysteria three times–I would have used the Thesaurus, but I’m too lazy–or loaded.)

    And will they tell us when the blogging actuallyl begins, or will the wonkette crew leave us all here talking to ourselves? Like Walnuts does.

  29. The T. Boone Pickens has me drinking rubbing alcohol already. Maybe I shouldn’t do that. Oops. Debbie Wasserman Shultz is on Keef. I hafta start again.

  30. drinking games are immature and since Tina Fey glamorized them on SNL, are sooooooooo uncool now.

    I’m day trading and buying the crap out of GE.

  31. [re=124320]hrhkingfriday[/re]: Oh wait as a gay I am as good a sport as anyone but that shit is offensive as all hell baby boy! Or to quote Thomas Friedman, “Suck on this motherfucker!”

  32. I would have an easier time taking T. Boone seriously is he hadn’t financed Swift Boat liars. He is such a rich hypocrite. And can you imagine getting together on his website? Gag.

    I really, really wish I hadn’t carelessly used a nickname I have been known by and hadn’t laughed with my family about Wonkette and called it my favorite news source, after the Christian Science Monitor. No way I can hide from my kids, if they come looking.

    BTW–Perhaps the first time Wonkette had been referenced in the same sentence with the Monitor.

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