Wonkette
- America’s $700 bailout plan has already failed because now every bank on earth is poor and Europe can’t get its act together so now we have a Global Meltdown. [New York Times]
- A financial guy killed himself and his family, for Honor, after he lost a bunch of money. [Los Angeles Times]
- The presidential candidates’ gloves are off, again! Now the tone of the race is getting nasty! Etc. [Washington Post]
- There’s another debate tonight! John McCain will be there, and so will Barack Obama, and ditto Tom Brokaw and a handful of horrified “real voters” who will share their sad-sack stories with America and ask how Barack Obama can save their jobs when he is off palling around with bombers and suchlike. [San Francisco Chronicle]
- Widening global bank crisis, “worldwide turmoil,” panic, Band-Aids on gaping head wounds. [Washington Post]
- Wachovia might be sold to Citigroup, or maybe Wells Fargo. Perhaps things will be clearer on Wednesday, when the bank’s assets are given away to the first friendly hobo with a fistful of dryer change. [Forbes]
I will personally donate $1000 to Hopey if, during Walnuts’ first answer, he screams, “Diddy mau!”
“when the bank’s assets are given away to the first friendly hobo with a fistful of dryer change”
Hey I’ve got me a shitload of dryer change, can I have Wachovia?
change? dryer lint will be the new currency. at that point, the meek shall inherit the earth, and then shoot the rich and take their food.
Yay!
Sara’s back!
Our favorite hobo.
Walnuts is heading for some kind of anger fit or breakdown in front of the cameras. Hope it’s a good one with like spit coming out of his mouth and such.
Shooting is mother-in-law was a decision he made long before he started losing money, I assure you.
Tommy Says Soooo: I’ll join you!
IS? HIS mother-in-law. Cheeto Jeebus!
Welcome back, Sara.
Are you tanned, rested and Ready to Lead?
Terry: McMean’s like a silver back gorilla hurling feces, they’re already allowing their slack jawed supporters to yell “kill him” and “terrorist” at their “rallys”…you KNOW there’s going to be a racial pop-out, it should be in the drinking game…
Dryer change?
More like dryer lint.
We’ve now adopted the “Lint Standard.” Live with it, hobos.
Who the hell is this Sara punk? You’re in JULI WEINER territory now.
Servo: Save your dryer change. You already need to pay for Sallie Mae, Freddy Mac, and AIG.
Thank ye gods, Sara, ye have returned. And just when I was about to wrongfully believe the world was all rainbows and care bears thanks to Ken’s unbridled optimism. Tell us a funny story. Pleaz. We haz no funz wif Ken.
If I was committing Wall Street Suicide (possibly sweet movie title, for sometime in the future when we can afford to make movies again and want to document the GREAT RATE HATE OF O-8′) I’d definitely skip the 50th floor freefall and go with ancient Japanese seppuku all the way. I’d get the office intern to be the one with the samurai sword who does deed, he’ll get a better cubicle placement if he does it in one slice
Every time you leave us alone with Ken over the weekend, we may get mysterious bruises, but, um… *gulp* it’s our fault, for falling down the stairs! Eheh! Clumsy us!
Kumbaya
Sarah Palin patrioticly sucking at the old lipsticked pig teat of Alaska, stands tall in her patriotic effort to not pay taxes.
http://taxprof.typepad.com/taxprof_blog/2008/10/tax-profs-agree.html
I think there should be signs up near the windows on tall financial institution buildings that say: “From this height, a pedestrian traveling at a typical walking pace could travel 15 feet before your body impacts the ground. Please be considerate and allow a generous margin of error if you jump.”
Sussemilch:
Fuck that. I’ll barter with cherubs and yard gnomes from Fingerhut.
Yay! You’re back! The sub was mean and wouldn’t let us go for recess or to the washroom ever!
rubybuckaroo: 2druk2phluq: Delicious: Thank you all! I am pale and exhausted following a 19-hour return journey from the rain-soaked hinterlands, where there was no Internet and we had to drive 45 minutes to watch the VP debates with a bunch of angry Lotto-addicted Bitters. It is “great” to be back.
I’ll throw in some Canadian quarters to buy Wachovia. I always wanted to play Monopoly with real money.
The formerly rich-on-paper will be the new calorie source for burgeoning hobo camps. Of course, the beer magnates among us (and their spouses) will remain rich, seeing as how they control the source of actual wealth during any social meltdown — alcohol.
Where cna I invest in dryer lint futures?
Where was Sara? Hobnobbing with black preacher atheists and Iraqi terrorist elite squads, I presume?
Do we really know Sara K. Smith? Or is the last name ‘Smiff’, you radical, ghetto-fied minx?
Servo: http://www.democraticstuff.com/Garden-Gnomes-for-Obama-Photo-Button-p/bt24401.htm
dave666: Forget about dryer lint! By the time this is all done, none of us will be able to afford the electricity to run a dryer.
It’s a shame Europe can’t agree on a common policy. What Europe needs is some sort of joint approach to problem-solving generally, by having a sort of federation of states, maybe governed by treaties and agreements, with a central bank and bureaucracy and stuff. I’m just blue-skies thinking here.
P.S. wb @ Sara, you were missed
Sussemilch:
Gnomes need healthcare reform, too.
So…maybe a hint of “OH, BTW, I AM GOING ON VACATION AND IT’S TOTALLY NOT BECAUSE KEN GAVE ME THE BOOT”…would be nice. Not that we worry, of course, because that would be silly. :p
Hey, it looks like WWIII will be fought with stocks and cash. Pretty wild, eh? 10Kbuck warheads and so forth.
wheelie:
Merika accomplished what Nazi Germany failed to do. King George finished the fucking up of the Middle East started by his diddy, and finished the Nazi’s goals funded by his granddiddy.
dave666:
I saw a lovely portrait of Queen Elizabeth II made entirely of dryer lint at the Ripley’s Believe It or Not in Ocean City, Maryland. That thing must be priceless, when to take into account subject, quality of workmanship, and the sheer amount of lint involved. This is a BIG portrait.
Actually, the Fed is going to sneak up on unsuspecting individuals and force banks on them. Look out for shiny vans with blacked-out windows. My friend was walking home drunk last week and woke up the next morning with voting power on an audit committee!