Wonkette
- NEW VIRGINIA POLLS GOOD FOR THE BLACK: Your favorite communist “half-breed” jerkoff material, Barack Obama, is crushing the American candidate, McCain, in two news Virginia polls — one by 10 points, another by 12. Wow, Virginia, way to stab your president Jefferson Davis in the back. Also: AYERS AYERS AYERS AYERS, AYERS MADE THE 9/11 HAPPEN. [War Room/Salon]
REMEMBER WHEN WHITE PEOPLE USED TO OWN BLACK PEOPLE?
Read More:
3:38 PM
on Mon October 6 2008
By
Jim Newell
2028 Views
Once you go black, you’ll never go hockeymom… or something.
Yes Virginia, there is a Santack Clausbama
yeah, whatever, i used to LIVE on jeff davis highway. it was awesome.
The only way for Walnutz to win Virginia now is to remind Virginia of the good times in the ’40’s and ’50’s.
That’s the 1840’s and 1850’s.
This all goes back to “Sarah Palin is the one you date, Tim Kaine is the crewcut man-love you fly to California to and marry because you are the gay.”
Once you go MUSLIN, you’ll never go hustlin’
I hear Virginia is changing its state fish to the Barackuda.
Unfortunately, “the black” in this case is Nipsey Russell. Still, good for him!
Meanwhile, down in FL the Caribou Queen is preparing for her upcoming rallies with Walnuts by watching Weekend at Bernie’s a few times.
hrhkingfriday: Hey, Jeff Davis Highway is about two miles from my house. And the Obama campaign has been registering people frantically for the last two weeks. I would be so thrilled to see Virginia blue.
Horray for the stinkin’ commies in NoVA!!
http://voices.washingtonpost.com/virginiapolitics/2008/10/joe_mccain_jokes_inner_suburbs.html
Go Half Breed Muslin! Go!
Suck it, America!
Who’s more American?
Obama’s ancestors came to the Maryland colony in the 1650s, Mccain’s came much later than that.
Therefore Obama is more American than Mcsame.
…and WALNUTS! pulls someone over the stop distraction stunt in 5…4…3…2…
As a Marylander all I hafta say is “Took ya’ll long enough. This’ll almost forgive you being such crappy drivers.”
Virginia is for half breed Muslins.*
*(Virginia used to be for “Macacas”)**
**(yada, yada, “Lovers”)
FreshCliches: Aw damn I’d forgotten all about Macaca. Fuck. Virginians are dumb.
Haha, suck it, West Virginia, what with your black lung and raccoon fritters!
honestly i’m not getting too excited. ever been to ‘lynch’burg?
It’s about time this state did something to make up for forcing Martin Luthor King Jr. to share his holiday with the likes of Jefferson Davis and Robert E. Lee. Lee/Davis/King Day, my ass.
AngryBlakGuy: His brother already called NoVa “communist.” I’m hoping someone brings up Loving v. Virginia.
I just moved to VA, I’m taking credit! It was a little unnerving when they first told me I had to become a communist, but it’s grown on me.
And to think it only took the End of the Financial World to do it.
Don’t think I’ll be drinking champagne to celebrate. More like Riunite or MD 20/20.
Didja know what I just heard? That Obama fella is a known terminis, er, turnafis, uh, he’s one of the Bad Guys , dontcha know. Look–I have boobies!
why couldn’t “Hopey” wait five-and-a-half years and let The Old Cranky serve out his first term….then the sexist Muslin could run against BOTH Hillz AND the girl from Palins?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZv4aU998ik&feature=related
McCain’s brother was right, this state is friggin’ full of communists. 10-12% more communists than fascists.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
hmmmm, Virginia, Pennsy, Ohio, FLA all leaning towards Hoosein. If I was Dick Cheney (wheee!) I would have that private jet to Paraguay turn on the ignition and keep it idling until Nov. 4… Seriously, just imagine the round the clock shredding in every department of the government that is going on right now.
Apparently a stunning coalition of non-brain-dead motherfuckers has coalesced in the Old Dominion State.
Blue Line: Hey, we appreciate your electoral votes. Keep up the good work.
TGY: I have half a watermelon fermenting in a hefty bag in the trunk of my car. I figure it should be good to go on election day.
Hey, North Carolina’s slowly turning blue too! Together, we will bring hope and barbecue sauce to the frigid North, and kick South Carolina into the sea.
Time for George Allen to be makin’ some deer head, postal deliveries.
“When you care to send the very best.”
This is going to kill Jerry Falwell.
It’s those communists in Arlington.
Tommy Says Soooo: Finally? Really? HUZZAH!
I believe it’s spelled “communiss”…
Good to know that Obama has the virgin queen vote locked up.
Old kook Pat Robertson better leg press 4000lbs to prevent this disaster.
Tommy Says Soooo: I thought it was “Palin to bed, Obama to wed, and Lieberman for a hot vinegar enema.”
Norbert: What’s the odds that Dubya issues a pardon for every registered Republican, then the wealthiest 1-2% all hop on their private jets and head down to lovely Paraguay to set up a puppet government and enslave the native population?
Yeah! VA is for luvers!
Oh PS, some asshole stole the Obama magnet off the back of my car — that’s when I finally realized Obama could actually take VA.
Tommy Says Soooo: I suppose this means hurricanes and earthquakes for Virginia. My advice: party hearty.
grendel: They’ll call their state Georgia, and their capital Georgetown. And they will all be terrific assholes.
Outstando: I think you’re on to something, but since it’s Virginia, they have the Cracker Jew, Eric Cantor, whose only solace to his mother is that it couldn’t be helped.
Outstando: Today we are all Georgian assholes
Shit, that headline should read; NEW VIRGINIA POLLS GOOD FOR THE COUNTRY:
Tommy Says Soooo: You shouldn’t speak too soon. Jerry Jr. has the his campus mobilized. http://www.liberty.edu/libertyjournal/index.cfm?PID=15758&artid=428
http://www.jeffhead.com/obama/adoringadolph.jpg
I listened in shock this morning at NPR’s story about Obama in Virginia (http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=95420457), so this news makes me very happy. It’s not so much that at least one of the Virginians they interviewed wasn’t willing to vote for him because he’s black, it was that she was willing to admit it. If you are racist ass, then at least be savvy enough to realize that racism isn’t really acceptable political discourse anymore and find some other excuse not to vote for him.
Lee Atwater: well yeah, but you put slaw on the ‘cue.
More importantly, why do Virginians hate our freedoms?
Tommy Says Soooo: I’m trying to work here, man. Not get strange looks for laughing out loud.
The night McCain drove Dixie down…
You Go VA!
Go Hawkeyes!
Viva la Cynthia: That woman is what is referred to in Repub circles as ‘the base’. All definitions of ‘base’ apply.
grendel: enslave the native population, eh? maybe some kind of General Custer / Captain Cook situation could ensue.
HateRadio is churning up the Obama/Ayres connection big time today…and Hannity says this worldwide finance crisis is the fault of the Dems and greedy “minority” folks who took mortgages they couldn’t afford. Meanwhile, on another forum far far away, I suggested that if one substituted the word “Jew” for “liberal” Mark Levine would sound a whole lot like Dr. Joseph Goebbels circa 1934. This was met with a chorus of “MORAN! MARK LEVINE IS JEWISH!” which indicated that someone had missed the point. It’s so ugly out there I’m embarrassed for America…does that make me a Ms. Obamette? I hope not because Ima guy…not an ‘ette. In any event, the personification of evil is churning up the hate machine for money and power, ala (in my market) Hannity, Rush, and Levine. Those guys are going to hell, but God’s judgement on these evil Americans won’t remedy the damage these evil scumbags are doing to our society.
According to Rolling Stone, McCain drunkenly cussed out every Virginia debutante and her parents while he was drinking at the Naval Academy. So he’s hurting bad with women over 90, who can’t tell Obama is black because of glaucoma.
And hats off to Rolling Stone for giving us shit to send to our racist grandmothers. I think I’ll just excerpt it, though, and say it’s from Life magazine.
hahahaha.. once you go black you never go hockeymom.. hahaahahahahahahahahahaha
Grampy’s been talkin’ meaner than usual today… http://www.salon.com/opinion/greenwald/2008/10/06/microcosm/
The final lines for those who don’t click over, “What we’re seeing explode in front of us are both the devastating fruits of eight years of unchallenged right-wing rule under the Bush/Cheney administration and the tactics of a desperate, dying, rotted movement descending further and further into the sewer in order to cling to power. The more they unmask themselves this way, the more smashing will be their defeat, the longer their banishment will be.”
Indeed.
Maybe it’s just me but McCain calling Virginians communists might be counterproductive to winning the state:
McCain’s brother says N. Va. ‘Communist country’
Joe McCain, speaking at an event in support of his brother, called two Democratic-leaning areas in Northern Virginia “communist country,” according to a report on The Washington Post’s Web site.
http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5hby_5Pku5ywmfC_rEtEV5BcYKR5gD93KFH4O0
ihatepolls: Umm did you read the article up there? I want you go back up to the top of this page… and read the post. Could you do that for me? Just once? Please?
AYERS DID 9/11!!!1
Heh. Desperation.
shortsshortsshorts:
Already read the post and had already commented on the issue on Wonkette before it was posted.
But will the blacks still support Obama when they find out that he is an Arab, not a black?
El Bombastico: I’m glad to see Barack Obama here today, ’cause now I know my hubcaps are safe.
Viva la Cynthia: I thought the most interesting thing about the NPR bit this morning was how Fawell’s son is giving all of Liberty College the day off on election day so that they can go out and help McCain. The undead leading the undead.
Q2: I like how I’m hearing a lot of right wing talk reassurring their listeners with “Don’t worry about Barack’s lead in the polls, a lot of them are racist and won’t be able to bring themselves to vote for a black man, so McCain will win in the end.”
Wonkette: You’re going too far. I’m African American, and there is some racial humor that is genuinely funny. The racist humor in this post is just offensive. I know you’re trying to critique racism, but you’re failing and sounding racially obnoxious. Can’t you run your racial humor by a person of color before you post it? I’m really sad, because I usually love this site. However, I find aspects of this post racially demeaning.
SisterTruth: Sister SisterTruth: C’mon, it’s SNARK for Chrissakes. Snark is racially blind — that’s the pure fun of it. Ask Larry Wilmore on the Daily Show. We love you! Stick around.
SisterTruth: You funny. I give you dollar.
SisterTruth: Subtle… I like it!
SisterTruth: I would also like to add that, as a jerkoff, there are aspects of this post that are offensive to jerkoffs. Could you please run your masturbatory humor by some real heavy duty wankers before posting?
I see this in the future. The state shatters from North to South along a line from Leesburg through Richmond down to Emporia. East Virgina is born leaving a rump state of rednecks to carry on the name of the original Old Dominion.
SisterTruth: “Can’t you run your racial humor by a person of color before you post it?”
I nominate either Darth Maul or Michelle Malkin. Unfortunately both appear to be fictional characters.
My grandmother’s name was Lydia, but everyone called her “Muzzy.”
OH MY GOD. MY GRANDMA WAS A MUZLIM TERRORIST.
SayItWithWookies: Yeah! I think the NOVA boom is really helping. I’ve almost been (gladly) assaulted by voter reg at my metro stop. This is looking way better than 2004, when I’d get a stray DNC campaigner or two and that’s it.
Shit. Got sucked in. Sister Truth is likely a white, chromosome-deficient cracker from downstate VA who was ramming it up his sister’s ass while complaining about racist humor. My bad. Next time I’ll be less deferential. I beg Snark Nation’s forgiveness.y
No, sistertruth haters. I am a real black woman with a Ph.D. I usually love the way wonkette plays with racial discourse. I find it laugh-out-loud funny, critically courageous, and astute. I skip the academic analysis of my colleagues and come to wonkette because I find the humor here so sharp and incisive. I just think they missed the mark this time. When you miss the mark with racial humor, gender humor, or sexual humor, you end up just hitting another mark: the racist, sexist, heterosexist mark. I think wonkette is too good for that. (I almost had a nervous breakdown when the site was down after the vp debate.)
I also thought the readers on this site were smart enough to actually take a moment to question their own responses. ( Michelle Malkin has lost her person of color membership card. I burned it myself. However, that point is well taken. Wonkette does not need to run anything by Clarence Thomas.) Apparently, writing cruel things about a Black woman commenter is hilarious and much more fun than questioning your own sometimes problematic humor. Quel dommage. I had a crush on this web site, and I am falling out of love.
Here’s a suggestion for white readers. When you tell a racial joke to a person of color, and we smile but don’t laugh and quickly change the subject, it’s because we don’t think it’s funny. We think it’s racist. It means you should get some new jokes. That’s my point .
SisterTruth: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSxaC3aXRjA
I agree with Sister, until she succumbs to the temptation to unload her own brand of snark, which would undoubtedly leave us all twitching in the dust.
I’m also falling out of love with this site, but for other reasons. See you on the other side of November 4th.
Vaya con queso,
Outstando
SisterTruth: Ah, got it–it’s only funny until you’re the one offended. Message received, will comply. Mais comme vous dites, quel dommage.
SisterTruth: Hmm, I just hyperlinked “half-breed” to the reference (I forget sometimes that not everyone remembers every post ever — I PUT MY HEART AND SOUL IN EACH ONE THANK YOU), but what else is there? “The black”? Well, maybe that didn’t work so well, at least for you, which is of course fine. For me, the maker of obvious “jokes,” when I see Obama ahead by 12 points in Virginia, my mind makes a bee line to “WTF? SLAVERY!”, because Virginia’s capital used to be the capital of a country that existed just so people could own black slaves, which is completely fucking crazy, right?
1. Edgy drifter, I often laugh at things that offend me, that’s part of what makes them so funny. I’m a feminist and a woman, and I often laugh at sexist humor. I’m an anti-racist African American (unlike Clarence Thomas), and I often laugh at racial humor. However, I also critique myself and question what I’m laughing about. I think we’re all guilty of some racism and sexism, the trick is to recognize it and to realize that we are laughing at ourselves when we laugh at racial or sexual humor.
2. Jim Newell, yes, I thought you pushed it a bit with “half-breed” and “the black,” but I get your use of hyperbole as racial critique. I think your link to the “half-breed muslin” post, one of my all-time favorites, makes it even funnier. However, when I read the words, “REMEMBER WHEN WHITE PEOPLE USED TO OWN BLACK PEOPLE?” without any contextualization, it’s just not funny. Yes, I get the joke; you are contrasting Virginia’s racist history with the Obama’s stunning success there. It is remarkable, but I think you could have done a better job.
Slavery is a tough thing for Black people to joke about. Honestly, when I read that sentence, I felt like I’d been punched in the stomach. Imagine a post that begins, “Remember when Nazis used to mass murder Jewish People?” Then imagine asking someone Jewish why they didn’t think it was funny. You would have to work pretty hard to make that funny. White people think slavery was a long time ago so it can be talked about glibly. For many African Americans, slavery is still upsetting and still has painful echoes. I’m not saying that a slavery joke can’t be funny. Keep trying to make slavery funny. I’m sure there’s a good slavery joke about Obama. I’m just saying that when you miss the mark on a slavery joke it stings black people. When you miss the mark on a holocaust joke, it stings Jewish people. You stung me.
But Jim, I love your racial humor. I just love it. Even when I’m offended, I usually laugh. Keep at it, but watch it with the slavery jokes. Make ‘em great or leave ‘em alone because when you mess them up, you hit below the historical belt.
SisterTruth: That was a well reasoned, well delivered and absolutely level-headed comment. As such, it is totally out of place here. I will cut you slack, however, because you are obviously smart and I have a soft spot for brainy types. I know, I know… it is a terrible weakness (nay–affiction) of mine and I’m working hard to get over it.
FACT: Barack Obama is a descendent of Jeff Davis, which means its ok for Southern Whites to vote for him. ITS REVERSE BIRTH OF A NATION!