Wonkette
Happy Monday, America! Wall Street is doing great, so far, this morning. The Dow Jones index is down 400 500 points at the moment, bringing the DJIA below 10,000 for the first time since … well, let’s check the chart. October 22, 2004 — right about the time everybody figured George W. Bush would somehow win re-election and the world would end.
The S&P 500 is down more than 4% this morning, the NASDAQ is in -5% territory, and we are just going to have Firefox block all of our 401k websites as “death porn.”
Europe is “rescuing” more doomed banks over there, and the Paultards are smiling as gold rises another forty bucks.
We are going to find a bar and just stay there until China bombs us out of our misery.
Stocks, Oil Slide on Credit Crisis; Emerging Markets Drop Most in 20 Years [Bloomberg]
Tent cities for some, miniature American flags for
others.
Good morning to you too.
the Tune Inn, 9:30 am?
as long as the Paultards are smiling.
Fuck you all. I’m calling dibs on the nearest heating grate.
almost down 500
Hey: I’m still giving free mustache rides…
ManchuCandidate: Fuck you that heating grate is mine.
There’s no need to panic; this is simply a market correction. You know that 401(k) money had, and the house you “owned?” Turns out they were a mistake. But that’s been corrected! Doesn’t it feel great?
now it down -539.85
-585.73!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeah were all pretty much fucked
so is sara k. smith dead? what happened to her?
demtard: There you go. As long as mustahe rides are free, how bad could it be?
I never really wanted to retire anyway. I can’t wait to see the email from my pension plan managers.
BREAKING NEWS (REUTERS): GOVERNMENT FABRICATING NEW REBATE PACKAGE FOR ALL AMERICANS TO AVOID DEPRESSION. PACKAGE TO INCLUDE: YEARS SUPPLY OF FRUIT-ROLL UPS AND HELLO KITTY STICKERS, DEVELOPING…
Gold may be up, but the gold standard is not the solution and the Paultards are still crazy. Conversion to the Gold Standard would be economic nuclear winter compared to this, which is only a nuclear snow flurry.
Wheeee…….!!!
Campbell’s soup is also down.
Damn…we could have had Social Security privatized by now and Bush could have destroyed it too…’ol Fuckup George can’t even fuck things up properly.
So, if our last recession was due to a tech bubble, is this one due to an asshole bubble?
The power of Big Soup grows…
I’ve got some humdinger shoe soup recipes if anyone’s interested.
Good good. When it hits 1787, we can start this fucking place over.
that’s asshole*S* bubble. if you want to have some fun or need a cure for your chronic constipation, go to http://finance.yahoo.com/indices?e=dow_jones and watch the train wreck in action.
This is what happens when you try to buy a bargain recovery plan for a shitty $700B.
…it would have been more effective to pile 700 billion dollars in the middle of Washington and burned it for warmth.
ManchuCandidate: I was working on my hobby farm this week and a women, about six-months pregnant, stopped by in a 70s model pickup truck and asked if I had any scrap metal. I gave her everything I could find. She gets $3 per 100lbs of metal.
It really is like the Great Depression II.
Think of all the Super Sweet 16 parties that will never be.
All the other world markets dropped about 4 or 5 percent, so I think that’s where the Dow will hover around -500.
Give or take another 5 percent! haha. bleh. die.
Wait…you *block* death porn? WTF?
As usual, Canada’s in a fucking freefall, Toronto market’s down over 1,000 already just over an hour into trading and this shit ain’t gettin’ prettier. Someone go out and buy a Celine Dion record before we’re all filthy hobos
ChernobylSoup: As long as you have a “hobby farm” and not a “means of survival” I think the depression is still waiting in the wings.
Delicious: That sounds like the beginning of a feedback loop…
I can see clearly now, my pension’s gone,
They removed all regulations in their way
Gone is the money that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Black Monday.
I think I can make it now, the Dow is down
All of the bad feelings have disappeared
Here is the baseball bat I’ve been waiting for
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Black Monday.
Look all around, there’s nothin but blue skies
Look straight ahead, nothin but blue skies
I can see clearly now, Wall St’s done,
I can pick up pitch forks along the way
Gonna smack douchesacks that robbed me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Black Monday.
Chicken Smack: We are well and truly fucked if our soupy overlords are also in trouble.
mattbolt:
I seem to recall some fat doughy guy with manboobs telling me that Canada’s fundamentals are STRONG.
Timing for this really sucks. I can handle warm weather hobo life much better than cold weather, burn your coat for warmth hobo life. Can we reschedule?
…can we break out the pitch forks and torches now or do we have to wait until it hits 8000?
AngryBlakGuy:
I have an aluminum baseball bat and I’m raring to swing.
Oh please, the European markets are all down 8%-9%. We’re not gonna let a bunch of prissy Continental types show us how to crash a market, right? GO AMERICA #1! USA USA USA!
Who wants to start a hobo tent city?
Another two weeks of this, and the country will be ready to elect Bernie Sanders President by acclamation.
mattbolt: Your only good export is Rush. Do not pawn that warbling bitch on me again, or I will sic the Quebecois on you.
Worlds End: No, that’s how all of this shit started in the first place. I’m pitching my tent where none of these bastards can find me.
drill BABY drill !!!!
Gopherit v2.0: Point taken. I’m a lucky one. (Until I have to slaughter my horses for horse-burgers to feed my family.)
The hotdog guy in front of home depot knows my name now, I am so screwed. …mmm, I think I’ll spring for the “All Beef Kosher Dog” today.
Chicken Smack: It was a sad day for Canada when oil, lumber and minerals were all downgraded as export commodities, and replaced by 20-minute synthesizer solos that are like, so crazy they like, blow my mind, dude
Chicken Smack:
And all that oil we sell you guys.
As a citizen of Canada City, I am ashamed of the devastation that Hurricane Celine has wrought.
BUT, I’m glad they’re there and not here.
ManchuCandidate: …ehhh, I guess that will work. Personally my favorite tool for looting and pillaging is a 2×4 with a nail in it. What can I say, I’m a traditionalist.
I am re-reading the Grapes of Wrath for breast milk recipe tips.
ManchuCandidate:
I hope that it’s not a red one (see the Travolta classic “Be Cool”).
Anyway, I don’t have a bat, so will have to settle for booting them in the neuticles.
her.majesty: The collapse is due to excess speculation in the market for cute asian orphans. Damn SEC chairman Cocks. He could have prevented this by regulating adoption default swaps.
mattbolt: & ManchuCandidate: I should have prefaced by saying musical export. That was, frankly, a misunderstanding in my head, and it didn’t fix itself. We loves your oil and wood pulp.
mattbolt: God hates Canada
Chicken Smack: But not by much.
Anyway, whatever fall in pps there is due to roll out expenses associated with the company’s new line of canned goods. http://worldofwonder.net/image1/bbgruel-1.jpg
— Louis Rukeyeser
Who cares about the global economy? I want to know who’s pallin’ around with terrorists.
I’m gonna go trick or treating this year dressed as a Credit Default Swap. Either someone will put me out of my financial missery or Paulson will buy me.
grendel: …not everything coming out of Canada is all that bad.
-Bacon
-Syrup
-Pam Anderson
Has the falling stock market taken Newel and K. Smith down, too?
Why don’t I see their bylines?
Did Ken sell them for stock in canned goods?
China doesn’t NEED to bomb us. We’re doing ourselves in fairly effectively.
Finally I get to start garroting and shanking drifters for bread. I thought this day was never going to get here.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
Terry: Didn’t the Republican Party crow about this very same issue happening back in 1990, when the Russians also failed to out-spend us, and their economy collapsed as a result of it?
there’s some goddamn irony for you. served up and delivered, but there’s a 15% surcharge now, 18 years later.
Worlds End: Well, then I’m fucked because we don’t have heating grates here in the Old Pueblo…..
TGY: You people have no understanding of the Austrian theory of the business cycle…
Gold standard IN, Zionists OUT!
When our new Chinese overlords arrive, we’ll make great pets. And by pets I mean test animals for a host of useless and dangerous Chinese consumer goods. Happy days are here again!
I read that as “Dow drops 10,000″ and thought “Wow, this is going to be fun!”
Terry: Actually, this is our way of bringing China to its knees!!!! A brilliant move, if you ask me!
We f-up our economy, thus sending the economies of the rest of the industrialized world. When things hit rock bottom, China will have no one to sell their cheap crap to, thus weakening their economy!! With the whole world’s economy is completely ant totally screwed up, the playing field will be completely level! This is something that folks have wanted for years. Yeah, a few people get hurt along the way, but what the fuck!
On the upside, my bindle futures are looking strong.
sike101: And I bet a lot of us are better at scavenging/foraging/random acts of domestic resistance against the robot oppressors than we are at our day jobs.
Harvey Birdman: So, you’re saying there is an upside…
So, what brought us out of the Great Depression finally? World War II?
Terry: Selling raw materials to both sides - at a substantial markup - in the years leading up to WWII brought us out of the depression.
Getting into the war ourselves led to a short inflationary boom from defense spending and then sent the economy down into the toilet under Truman, who made things worse with back-assward economic policy (little-known fact: Truman was a horrible president)
Well what did you expect with $700 billion?
Gopherit v2.0: Yes.
slomojoe: Would that it were true!
Thank God I was able to reserve http://www.imadeitoutofdirt.com.
Looks like the stock market is in the tank for Obama! (get it? TANK!!)
I just saw Hannibal Rising over the weekend, and let me just say I’m glad I don’t live with my sister.