Wonkette
BEST POLL EVER: “Congress was front and center in the national news last week and the American people were far from impressed. If they could vote to keep or replace the entire Congress, 59% of voters would like to throw them all out and start over again. The latest Rasmussen Reports national telephone survey found that just 17% would vote to keep the current legislators in office.” A full 147% changed their responses after hearing the third option, which was to keep the legislators in their offices — literally, with locks — and then release rabid death wolves into said offices. [Rasmussen]
Will Caribou Barbie be shooting at the wolves from her helicopter?
Why nobody has ever polled on this question before is a complete and utter mystery.
The only real surprise in the poll was that only 147% of the respondents changed their votes since every person in the United States of America, not including members of Congress, would rather have a beer with a rabid death wolf than a Senator or Congressman.
Stake ‘em out in the tundra at dusk & wait for the snow weasels.
Seriously though, congress sucks, but because i’m not insane, let’s keep the ‘democrats’…for now.
I was really tempted to throw my dickbag congressman out (for fucks sake his name is Moran). But really, the alternative isn’t pretty either. I’m considering write ins like Steve Jobs or Ron Paul for the lulz
Hey, um, why is no one saying anything about the Obama hanging out with Al Qaeda thing…? I’m confused…
You know what’s funny about this poll? Even though most people would like to ‘throw out the bums’, as they put it, they still overwhelmingly send the same people back, year after year. Do as I say, not as I do.
Any new Palinisms today, beyond Barry liking to pal around with terrorists?
I’m gunna get all mavericky at her if she don’t quit shootin’. You betcha. Also.
Looks like mccain just royally screwed up
http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/nation/6041101.html
http://www.politico.com/blogs/bensmith/1008/A_shot_across_the_bows.html
http://mediamatters.org/items/200810040004
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/10/5/131911/844/607/620798
P.S. (wink, wink!)
:WINK:
*starburst*
What can you say? In a Democracy, you get the government you deserve. Given the way people make decisions on who they vote for, (’I'ld like to have a beer with that guy!’ ‘The pretty lady winked at me on the television!’), do they really think they are going to get a first class government?
Here’s a new idea. Let’s elect smart people.
Since Palin is touring the country to any town with a 100% republican population or the Fox channel,for God knows why, who the hell is leading the defense of our nation in Alaska if the Ruskies invade?
Shot at Wolf: The original Maverick: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/05/weekinreview/05schwartz.html?ref=weekinreview
Cape Clod: Yes. But keep in mind the highest grossing movie this weekend was Beverly Hills Chihuahua. We’re fucking idiots and this is what we deserve.
…tha’d be a low-down mean-ass thang t’do t’them weasels an’ wolves…
…as fer our main man the obameister, yep, th’ truth iz finely comin’ out… he’s known to have conversed wit one o’the most nefarious terriss of our tam, that feller they call darth cheney, who dances nightly wit mister d.
Rabid death wolves sound tasty (Cajun style). We do need to fatten them up a bit though first with some pork.
slappypaddy:
:wink:, you betcha
Hunter Gathers: Yes. Bible Spice Misquotes Madeleine Albright From Starbucks Cup.
Now we know what Sarah W. Palin reads. Her Starbucks cup. Each and everyday while drinking her white chocolate mocha latte w/ whipped cream.
hrhkingfriday: I’ll keep my Waxman. He reps me and all those wonderful people who brought you Beverly Hills Chihuahua.
http://www.henrywaxman.house.gov/district_map.htm
As a member of the Republican Party I am very satisfied with Nancy Pelosi. She’s the best Republican Speaker of the House we’ve had in a long time. I am especially proud of how she defended our President in the face of cowardly hippie liberal attacks, especially from that evil Satanist Dennis Kucinich. I thank God for President Bush.
And go ahead. Mock Sarah Palin. When the rapture comes…
[Choke... damn, that's harsh. Definitely need to change the water on this thing. It smells like a dirty toilet at a 1977 Dead show. Boy, 4:20 sure is lasting a long time today. Oh, the clock is stopped.]
Seriously, though. We should put Pelosi and Palin into a gladiator pit with betleH’s. Pelosi would have to wear a prison jumpsuit, and Palin would have to wear a moose fur bikini. Then we throw on some Chemical Brothers, crank up the foam machine and have them fight to the death. Good times.
Couldn’t agree more. Fuck’em!
Cape Clod: rocktonsammy: tonashideska: hrhkingfriday:
Right you are. But, by golly…have you checked the polls lately? Looks like there are a few tens of millions of non-fucking-idiots who agree with you, at least for now. We’re going to have to come up with a whole new line of snark if Hopey actually wins this thing, and he has to start un-doing the past 8 years. You betcha!
I believe all polls; they’re so reliable. I get called for my opinion all the time by those pollster people. Yeh, I’m just the typical average American with my land line, no job, six cats and my radio on Rush, Glenn and Sean all day. If I speak, people listen!
Hey now, they only get paid $170,000 a year before expenses! Get real. If you want the best people in public office, then pay them top CEO rates. That’s how you attract the talent. So raise their salaries to $20m each a year and everything will be good.
(Except you will have to give them $850m collectively when they fuck it all up, but that happens when you hire the very best people for the job.)
i’m TOTALLY keeping mine — foul mouthed ron — cause i’m pretty sure he pisses off wayyyyy more people than i could ever hope to all by myself.
this is an important feature in a congressperson.
I don’t know how to break this to ya, but every last one of them should be fed to the wolves, along with whoever replaces them.
You bethca! Wink Wink.
Okay, the polls all suck and the pay’s not high enough to attract top talent. How about the bookies? They’re giving Hopey 4:1 odds. Last week it was 2:1. But what do they know…it’s only money.
http://www.oddschecker.com/specials/politics-and-election/us-presidential-election-2008/republican-candidate
wheelie: That’s $850bn, not million. Even better.
Hmmm… I wonder if Mark Wahlberg talks to wolves…
http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/mark-wahlberg-talks-to-animals/727504/
tonashideska: Thanks for posting that link.
Hmm…sounds like a poll of people who think there are too many special interests and then call their congressman when there’s a pothole.
OOPS! Lipstick has already killed all the wolves in Alaska, dontcha know. She’s been flapping her gums about Obama “Hanging out with Terrorists” please, he met a former member of the Weather Underground… If that counts, I must have hung around with lots of terrorists….
Hunter Gathers: Exactly.
They say throw the bums out, but 90 to 99 percent of the time, they never do. A lot of the time, there is somebody who is an alternative candidate who says what they, the voter, believes, but the candidate is painted as inexperienced and unsafe. Sound familiar?
Anyway, it doesn’t matter anymore. I had an epiphany today. America had a chance to turn itself around back in the 1990s when we had budget surpluses and the national debt wasn’t so insurmountable. The moment has passed. We will never save Social Security and Medicare because no one will be willing to pay the fucking enormous cost it will require to maintain those programs. They will sputter and end. We will have tens of millions of seniors with no money, no nothing.
That will be the true Reckoning. But that’s 20 or 30 years from now, so don’t sweat it. Current economic uncertainty may fuck us for a while, but I think we probably have one or two false eras of stability to keep us deluded. Then, at some point, it will all be about survival of the fittest.
There was this interesting program this weekend about the rhino and all its genetic ancestors. Version after version had its few millions years on Earth, then died out.
When we die out, I wonder what next version persists.
I think it’s the long awaited Bush Budget. 700 trillion and you get a percentage of the gain (or loss).
Stick out your arm, this won’t hurt.
Eat some salad, smoke some greenery, take it easy for a day. The color is starting to come back into you. You’re looking a much better shade of green.
If you live in a district where there is someone looking to find his or her way to the egress,
I say vote early and vote often!
Vote early but don’t vote oily.
Vote green but don’t vote mean!
Sounds like rabid death wolves are the only ones in this election that have ever really fought for you.
Did I say 700 trillion? Wolf that down why not. 700 Billion is bad enough. The right to arm bears should include wolves as well as sea otters and killer whales on Bullwinkle and Rocky, and everyone else who is on the right side of the war with the Eskimos. Ride more bicycles. Get the wildflowers and the seaweed on your side. Trust no Diebolds.
I’d send my senator back, but he’s going to be prez! GO BARRY!
@Penis Joke: Please come back. Do it for the children.
Before they’re eaten alive, I want to know where they get their congressional haircuts. Got to get that Trent Lott helmet head look going.
gliberal: They go to “Beltway Cuts”, down on K Street. You get a haircut, blowjob, salad tossing, and your own personal lobbyist for ‘only’ $5000. Act now and Tom Delay might be the one to toss your salad.
None of this would have happened if we’d gotten rid of congress and just given Dubya full control like he wanted.
tonashideska: Haha… they make Maverick sound like he’s standing up for some principle when in fact he was just looking for an excuse to steal as-yet unbranded calves. Seen in this light, yes, the Repugs are mavericks… i.e. cattle rustlers.
Shot at Wolf: They’re giving Obama 1-to-4 odds, NOT 4-to-1 odds! In other words, the folks calling this one are saying right now that the odds are shortening (moving in his favor), and he has an 80% chance of being President.
Lose your job because of the economic crisis? Here’s an exciting new opportunity:
http://timetraveler.ytmnd.com/
Piper Palin flipping off some heathen kid??
Congress, you don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.
tonashideska: That was beautiful. Thanks for that. After a week of crap sandwiches, something decent to snack on.
Polls are dumb. Like Sarah Palin they lack any connection with substance or reality. Fuck the polls. Vote for Jesus. Wait. WTF am I talking about?
What they would like to do is throw the other bums out and keep their own, The devil you know and provides earmarks, etc.
Patty Murray and Maria Cantwell being eaten by rabid death wolves sounds awesome. Or, we could dress all senators and reps up in wolf outfits and set them loose on the Alaskan tundra and let Governor Palin shoot them from her helicopter. And then, and then, and then we ummm…have the pilot push her out of the plane.
No?
Alright, I guess that’s just the cold medicine talking.
We should throw them all out, except for my incumbent. He’s just so gosh darned experienced, it’d be a shame to lose his seniority!
Since Sarah gets ideas for her speeches from Starbucks cups, I wonder when she will start using those little tidbits she gets from fortune cookies?
http://www.bigoo.ws/cookie.aspx
bc: Geez, Sarah - any hormonal 8th grader can stand in the courtyard at lunch and gossip about who a guy knows. Is that all you got?
HuskyMescan: Oh, that is too funny! you KNOW Jon stewart will use that one!!
Conor: you certainly are
HuskyMescan: Ha! A true snowbilly fucking redneck already. Nice! I wonder if she told him to doggone go fuck himself.
HuskyMescan: awww, that’s so cute!
2druk2phluq: The Almighty will say “get away from me; I never knew you!”
Delicious: Learn to grow your own food, brew your own hooch.
HuskyMescan: Apparently this is the real one.. Still, she looks like the Bad Seed giving the peace or victory sign or whatever the hell it was. Actually, I think she’s the tiniest, cutest witch practicing her craft on some unsuspecting kid right there.
HuskyMescan: I wonder where she learned that?
Since Sarah gets ideas for her speeches from Starbucks cups, we will… live
http://tobto.org/
Smoke Filled Roommate:
That’s the British version of flippin the bird.
Or the kid asked Piper how many daddies does she have. Hahaha.
azw88: gurukalehuru:
Here’s the real pic.
Smoke Filled Roommate: Fixed your link, it has a trailing slash at the end.
HuskyMescan: No, the McCain/Palin camp says the ‘flippin the bird version’ is the true version, as there is no way a goo republican like Piper would use that heathen, commie, terrorist-loving, troop-hating symbol of satan.
… then i’m gonna get Maverick on your ass.
HuskyMescan: Hey thanks.. (duh)
HuskyMescan: O.K., not as incriminating as version #1, but those kids in the band sure look like the manacles are chafing their ankles, don’t they?
I wonder what the response would be if we asked about a benevolent dictator. I really think that’s the best form of government, especially when they involve alien overlords
Oh, there’s plenty of blame to go round…
http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/c-span-bailout/727521/
hrhkingfriday: You’re not alone. I know someone high up at Gallup who said this is what always happens: Everyone hates Congress, but no one (when it comes right down to it) really wants their guy out. Now, if Michael Moore’s potted plant were the option, maybe people would feel safer. As is, with only these shmoes to choose between, it’s a tough call. In Louisiana, for instance, I shudder to think of the LESS desirable candidates vying for a shot.
Suddenly, the mission of most of the backwoods militias doesn’t seem so eccentric.
Hunter Gathers: That’s the racket. Everybody wants somebody else’s congresscritter turned out office, but thinks their own is doing a great job.
I don’t know how to break this to My Fellow Americans, but each and every 2 years, EVERY SINGLE CONGRESSIONAL SEAT IS UP FOR ELECTION.
So, people don’t have to, you know, fantasize that someday alien technology will allow them to vote on their Congressional Representative. The technology is already in place.
I predict that with this all time low in opinion of Congress, the reelection rate will drop from 95% to 94%. QUAKE IN YOUR LOAFERS, WASHINGTON COWARDS!
EnBuenOra:
But anyone other than an incumbent will exceed their comfort in familiarity threshold.
billy rubin:
Right you are! I was trying to say that the odds-makers have it 4:1 in favor of Hopey, but I reported it wrong. I was a lot better after I took my evening medications.
EnBuenOra: Umm… Senate seats are only up for re-election every 6 years, so in any 2 year cycle only 1/3rd are up.
grendel: Don’t be a pedantic dick. I was pretty obviously talking about Congressional Representatives, which doesn’t include SENATORS. Jeesh.