Wonkette
Gotta admit, we’re feeling a teeny bit of pressure for tonight’s liveblogging. The last time we remember the comedy stakes being anywhere near as high as this was the GOP YouTube Debate last November. (Memories!) (Sigh.) Come back at 8:30 ET for the pre-game liveblog! Until then, we’ve compiled the last two days’ worth of YouTubes and widgets and websites and assorted Internet junk about Sarah Palin that you people make thousands of each day and then e-mail to us so that Ken can mark them all as spam. Well, here are your links, MERRY CHRISTMAS fuckaz.
Sarah Palin Origami, Sarah Palin Dress Up, Sarah Palin Sings “I Killed A Moose,” Sarah Palin Sounds Like Lady From ‘Fargo,’ Sarah Palin Quotes Generator, Interview Sarah Palin, Sarah Palin Bingo, Sarah Palin Bingo: MSM version, Sarah Palin Dinosaur Art, Sarah Palin Amazon Wish List, Sarah Palin Movie Trailer, Politico’s Sarah Palin Thing, Sarah Palin and Darth Vader, Sarah Palin Family Meeting, Sarah Palin Porno Casting Call, Pictures Of People Around The World Pretending To Be Sarah Palin, Sarah PALINdromes, Love Song To Sarah Palin, Two People Sit In Front Of Their Computer And Sing About Sarah Palin, (the ballad of) S.P.P, and lastly, another Sarah Palin Quote Generator.
People think Sarah Palin is funny.
UPDATE: Basically what Sarah Palin has done for the Internet is what Awesome-o did for the movie industry.
ALL SARAH ALL THE TIME
Governor Palin, I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board.
I need to stop having real-life friends or invest in a laptop, so I can participate with you guys.
None of these compares to the magic that is:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65I0HNvTDH4
Gorgeous. Just gorgeous.
I hear she’s fucking Matt Damon.
I’m doing the real life friends debate tonight, too, tunamelt. I’ll miss all the live-blog, Chatango insanity, but rest assured I’ll be just as drunk, guys! Miss ya’, though. Have a mooseburger on me.
…and a happy new year!
The spirit of James Stockdale will guide her.
Q: What do you think about chocolate chip sausage wraps and their effect on American obesity?
PALIN: Yeah, mocked, I guess that’s the beauty of American elections, of course, it’s the utmost honor is what it is gridlock and that’s a repeat of Abraham Lincoln’s words when he actually said, do you want to help us, diplomatic pressure.
The interesting thing in Alaska.
That’s about right.
tunamelt: Your true friends are right here. And you know that.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: No, anything but the Official Wonkette Chatroom, which seriously ruins my life that I can’t mess around in it at work.
tunamelt: I NEVER go in there until after 5. It would be the end of my job.
I had … I had to look. On the Palin “look alike” porno casting call, it says “no anal required.” I can’t even think of anything funnier than that.
cal: ::snicker snicker snort::
cal: More like “when YOU were brought on board… of the GOP ticket!” (I am not funny.)
Cogito Ergo Bibo: I should be thankful I don’t even have the option.
greatgooglymoogly: Ironic.
tunamelt: It’s pretty tempting to have it. But I at least have plausible deniability if I’m only using it after 5.
tunamelt: curious as I am about this, I should probably stay away….
greatgooglymoogly: So that’s what happened to SKS. Mystery solved.
Fuck veep, let’s make this woman Queen. Of all she surveys. Which should include all of Russia. God, that was easy.
Excessive drinking + Palin speaking unscripted = temporary partial retardation. Thanks Sarah, my wife is going to hate you more now.
I’m not only ready but willing and able to begin commenting here…I feel privileged and blessed to comment on this post. There sure are a lot of links in here donchaknow, so you may have included this one and I missed it…The Sarah Palin Disney movie trailer
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1831461
I’ll try to find some more and bring them to you
FWIW from Josh Marshall @ TPM: “The McCain camp tells Mike Allen that Palin will go after Joe Biden tonight, trying to catch him out on old foreign policy positions that didn’t pan out. Right. I don’t buy that because I don’t think they want to risk getting her into any detailed discussion of any foreign policy or defense issue. What strikes me as much more likely is that they’ll send her in with a handful of prefab digs or snark lines. Their hope would be that whatever comes out of the debate itself — that some clever or incendiary snark line will dominate the next day’s news cycle and get the campaign coverage on to some Obama-Biden shortcoming rather than on Palin being an imbecile and McCain looking like he’s about to go postal.”
I’d hate to be the wall Walnuts is [hopefully] going to be banging his head against all night.
3 hours til drinking?
shortsshortsshorts: I’m pretty sure that clip is the sole reason the internet was invented.
shortsshortsshorts:
An even better one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TiQCJXpbKg&feature=related
Have a good rest of the afternoon, guys. Whatever of me that survives the debate tonight will be back on snark patrol tomorrow!
Mrs_T: Why do you hate us? Better still, why do hate Alaska?
shortsshortsshorts: ah cain’t beleev anyboddy wood want anyboddy other than th’obameister t’be prez o’this great nation, ever… an ahm poor white trash from way back… what in th’name o’sweet luvin jeezuss is goin on wit all them folks wants the decrepit ol’ geezer, bless his heart, an that ignorant flute-blowin sportscaster to ascend to any offices higher’n th’ones they already in? ah doan git it, ahm jess so abyzmally stoopit, ah cain’t hardly stan it no more…
Almost none of that was actually haha funny.
junkscience: If you’re referring to the collegehumor.com trailer, I agree. Jon Stewart had a much funnier take on it last night on TDS.
Kayooo: shana tova right back atchya… raise a glass t’happier times a-comin, ventually…
slappypaddy: U r correkt sur. Dees libruls no not notheeng abowt wut tthay sess!
It iz lyke der heyds r ah myle op der assess!
AnglRdr: I don’t know what the funniest part of that clip is, but me thinks it’s the retards present at the convention that crack me up more then anything.
Texan Bulldoggette: direct hit by marshall, doancha think… them repubbers wants soun bats, nuthin more… jess sumpin snarky on a stick, wrapped in feminine batter… piss-poor dietary choice, but not unusual in th’land o’the fee an th’home o’the knave…
shortsshortsshorts: So much more entertaining than they were during the actual convention, to be sure.
This is great because when her political career is in shambles after being tainted by McCain’s nasty old-man breath, she can get her own cable channel that exclusively shows her interviews and viewer-made YouTube videos.
Sad news: since I am hosting a DEBATE PARTAY tonight, I shan’t be liveblogging.
However, rest assured that I will drink every time Sarah Palin says anything.
That really tiny deer named Rupert died. I’m so sad now. Stupid internet.
slappypaddy: Yep, I pray she engages JoeyB on a foreign policy discussion. Please, pretty please.
I can’t bare to listen to her speak. She sounds like Roseanne only more annoying. Even Putin put his fingers in his ears.
rocktonsammy: That is why you must drink now and drink heavy, because once the debate starts we are all doomed.
S.Luggo: That should read “bitter still” instead of “better still.” THX
She is already reading the proposed post-election contract that will make her a Fox News “contributor.”
rocktonsammy: I never thought I would yearn for the dulcet and soothing voice of Hillary Clinton.
AnglRdr: Ingenious! Thanks for sharing. Reminds of this classice W mashup:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=to2hIhXrRTk
rocktonsammy: When he’s not busy rearing his head…
HuskyMescan: Good God, this Palinquotes.com thing is endless comedy gold, yet equally chilling in its accuracy…
Q: [/i] Who is the father of Bristol’s baby? [/i]
A: [/i] I’ll try to find you some and I’ll bring them to ya. [/i]
junkscience: Fine. But I at least “haha”ed mildly at “From the makers of The Mighty Ducks and Syriana…”
The Kossacks are floating a theory that The Disaster From Alaska will *not* be wearing a hearing piece, http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/10/2/151314/450/388/617950 but when she stepped off the plane in St. Louis this afternoon she HAD HER HAIR DOWN covering her ears.
God if they do try to pull something like that I hope that she either gets mad feedback from the unit and/or b) somebody locks onto and intercepts/records the signal and puts it in a dump truck all over the internwetnebs tubie thingies.
Then we can all get to watch Hannity’s head explode for reals.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mof1-HQAxRk
tunamelt: tunamelt: You are SO right! It’s exactly like being a member of the Mickey Mouse Club. Except instead of TeeVee it’s virtual. And instead of kids pretending to be mice we’re adults pretending to be not mentally ill. Being a Wonketteer is fun, but it’s far too easy to let myself believe it actually matters.
We couldn’t get Obiden a Niggar Suit so Darth will have to do.
shortsshortsshorts: DOH!
Initially I thought Sarah Palin would’ve been seen as too elitist by the American public, what with that all too french and fancy silent “h” at the end of her name.
“EFFET TINA FEY”
Howard Wolfson, ancien porte-parole de la campagne d’Hillary Clinton et analyste de la course à la Maison Blanche, prévient de “l’effet Tina Fey” sur Sarah Palin. La scénariste en chef du très célèbre “Saturday Night Live” sur CBS s’est beaucoup moquée des hésitations de la gouverneure de l’Alaska lors de ses quelques apparitions télévisées. “Sarah Palin va devoir faire preuve d’une vraie compréhension des problèmes que va rencontrer la prochaine administration. Sinon, le débat ressemblera à la caricature de Tina Fey dans le ‘Saturday Night Live’.”
We’ll be blog-postering at:
Democrat by Design Poster Project
http://www.democratbydesign.typepad.com
I know. She’s the funniest woman in North America and is the greatest joke set-up ever provided to everyone anywhere. But, Biden’s a crapshoot, let me just warn you and he can be goaded. If she can remember all her briefings correctly (and that’s a big if) she can bore on on the things he said about his own running mate during the Democratic primary (and I imagine Gwen will start there with him). He has to watch the Gore/Kerry Senate tendency which means he’s the smartest man in the room and she’s just some housewife. Yes, she has every opportunity to make big headlines for all the wrong reasons tomorrow, but so does Biden. That’s what makes this so infernal. All those states turning blue can go red again in a fat hurry.
Yep. I’ll be watching from Marx cafe. Commie, pinko, bedwetter that I am.
RogueDC: Hahaha!!!
BREAKING NEWS!
The text for these two Craigslist ads is basically identical:
NEED SARAH PALIN LOOKALIKE ASAP FOR ADULT FILM (LA)
http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sfv/adg/836109998.html
NEED VLADIMIR PUTIN LOOKALIKE ASAP FOR ADULT FILM (LA)
http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sfv/adg/863530497.html
Now THAT’S foreign policy experience we can believe in!
Barack Like Me: Better yet — hack into her headset feed and rickroll her.
Texan Bulldoggette:
I was referring to all those links. The Fargo ‘donchaknow’ one was pretty funny.
LIVE BLOG NOW!!! Monkey haz a itch and only the Wonkette canz scratchez it!
http://www.palinbingo.com
get ur cards now peoples!
Oooh. Oooh. Oooh.
I get two hours of Haiku To Nowhere tonight and I’m so excited I’m ready to plotz.
But if’n Sarah Plain wears her hair down and speaks well, you know she’s wearing a wire. In which case, no Haiku To Nowhere for me. Or y’all.
As Oscar Wilde said, “The suspense is killing me. I do hope it will last.”
Her hand is bandaged, from an injury allegedly sustained while jogging. I’m thinking it was “negative reinforcement” during debate prep.
“She loves to screw and convert the jew.”
FROM (above): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kx4kXgF88wQ
– this is too good.
Has anyone posted drinking game rules yet? I say a shot of bourbon for every Hockey Mom uttered. I’m feeling suicidal.
I demand Blingees.
Monsieur Grumpe: http://wonkette.com/403206/palin-biden-debate-drinking-game-begins-now#comments
Valerie: I have four cards, each space is covered with a shot glass filled with Yukon Jack.I want to field undress that moose.
rocktonsammy: going for the media blitz! good man.
did y’all know john mccain is a mooslim?
Does I haz enough booze?
*ponder*
~
were gonna party like it’s 1999….
Hoped for line of the night:
“Ms. Palin, you may have been in 2nd grade when I was first elected to Washington, however the ink on my passport is not still wet”.
Cmon Joe, do it for Scranton.
Yahhhhh - did anyone catch the latest footage from inside the tank on CBS this evening?
So the party’s here tonight? Are them Pakistani guys comin’?
junkscience: Re: the Fargo video, if McCain wins I’ll never be able to watch “Bobby’s World” again. (Not only because I have an aversion to that voice, but also because “Bobby’s World” Youtube clips may be scarce after the apocalypse.)
Holy christ. Can we get on with this motherfucking debate already?
The suspense is making me enraged.
DUDES! Sarah P. has a “bandage” on her arm tonight!! Who wants to bet that’s where the live feed comes in…
Barack Like Me, I don’t think they would dare pull the earpiece trick, after Bush’s disastrous “You forgot Poland!” performance. I often think that’s exactly what Rove said into Bush’s ear, and Bush repeated it, verbatim.
I learned from Broadcast News that real-time parroting is actually harder than it would seem.
Mrs_T: Hah! That’s what my husband and I have been saying since she first opened her mouth, doncha know.
Beef-Supreme: In loving memory of James Bond Stockdale, V.P. debate ‘92. Lest we forget.
BriteBlueDot: See, this is another double standard of the elite media. People are going to unfairly attack her answer to the Veep question, but when Robert Downey, Jr. also quoted the theme song from The Jeffersons in Tropic Thunder, everyone thought it was great…
CBS News is in the tank for black men being portrayed by Australian men being portrayed by Hollywood types, and nobody is looking out for Joe six-pack.
magic titty: No, pleeeease, no blingees tonight
no blingees tonight in my tea
no blingees to stand beside me
no blingees to run with me
I’m gonna have a shot everytime she mentions the retard.
bill oreillys going ape shit
Holy Shit, Loofah Boy is freaking out with Barney Frank. It’s kinda like gay s&m porn with the clothes on.
Yo, it’s 8:30, start the pregame show!!!
What kind of operation are you running here? It’s funcking 8:35 - c’mon beechtes
is wonkette broken again? did jim do it? did jim break wonkette?
ducandy: That is no way to refer to the President of the United States!
no comntz 4 me?
Wherefore is our afore-promised liveblog?
i can haz liveblog??
simetrias: Rush: “Patience comes to those who wait” - Old Alaskan Proverb
Or…In what respect should we be looking for a liveblog, Jim?
wheelie: “Go fuck yourself” -Dick Cheney
who do I call for a refund?
Be patient. Jim’s booze run is taking longer than planned.
New liveblog!
I suspect Big Jim is getting all the teevees plugged in at Wonkette HQ. Simmer down, ya’ll…
…I imagine this debate going much in this manner.
Will we be starting a new thread for the debate, or just be using this one?
Also, no TV, does anybody know, who’s live streaming?
palin on the worst thing Dick Cheney did
Sarah Palin: Worst thing, I guess that would have been the duck-hunting accident, where you know, that was an accident. And that I think that was made into a caricature of him. And that was kind of unfortunate.
So, the best thing though, he’s shown support, along with George W. Bush, of our troops. And I’ve been there when George Bush has spoken to families of those who have suffered greatly, those who are serving in the military. I’ve been there when President Bush has embraced those families and expressed the concern and the sympathy speaking for all of America in those times. And for Dick Cheney to have supported that effort of George Bush’s. I respect that.
wheelie: ADMIRAL STOCKDALE: Who am I? Why am I here?
graceless: CNN.com I believe
graceless: msnbc is streaming, but not til 9 sharp
For fake social profiles, http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/palin-facebook-2.jpg has been my favorite thus far. Didn’t see it linked above, either.
Be sure Sarah goes thru the metal detector before the debate.
Kthxbye but not Kthxbye.