Wonkette
Hey, you half-million people seeking unemployment checks last month: Did you not hear that Congress and Hank Paulson are going to Save the Economy? And what about you Wall Street analysts finally admitting, today, that the United States is in a terrible recession? Did you forget that John McCain believes the fundamentals are strong?
What about you commercial lenders, didn’t you hear about the gazillion dollars of “liquidity” the Treasury dumped into the banking system, again? No, we guess not.
Let’s check in with housing. Or let’s not, ugh.
And that’s your Bailout Midday Update. The Dow’s down 309, NASDAQ is down 72, the S&P 500 is down 39, so it’s looking like at least another -3% washout across the board.
Warren Buffet just said this plan isn’t gonna do it at a Fortune Magazine forum for teh wimmenz. It’s a start, but not enough. So everyone empty out your piggy banks and send it all to the govmint!
Bend over, America, and take it like a man!
TSX in Toronto down Six Hundred and Thirty Fuckin’ Three already. Why the fuck does shit going down in the American government somehow have a multiplier effect on my strange foreign stock market?
The fundamentals of the the economy are wrong.
As soon as the House returns from the Jewish holidays, we’ll find out whether this thing is going to fly or not. I’m so glad that they have their priorities straight.
No, please GOD no. I don’t want to go back to being MORE POOR. Please, not that. I can’t go back to canned menudo from the dollar store, I’ve developed a taste for quinoa! Noooooooooooooooooooo!
Look at that picture: is hobo Walnuts about to, like, totally make out with hobo Barry?
Wait, you aren’t supposed use the R-world
jumpin jack mcnuggets was mis-heard… what he actually said was he believes “the fundamentalists of the economy are strong”… as well they may be… but can they bench-press a trillion new dollars o’debt? stay tooned, but first, this word from sausage-on-a-stick…
Hey relax - the salaries and retirements of the anchors and cast at CNBC will be saved. That is all America needs, really: people repeating everyday that the “fundamentals of the AMerican economy are strong” to make it so.
V572625694: Seems Liberman didn’t have trouble showing up for work. His alien god must be cursing him
mattbolt: and why are people SELLING? Way to lock in your losses, people!
Will trade soul for alcohol.
The roof, the roof, the cardboardbox roof is on fire!!!!!1!
Meanwhile…
Man, this sucks so hard for so many people.
Meanwhile, I work in bankruptcy law and am totally getting a raise this month. Looks like I’m safe! Hoo-ah!
At this rate I’ll soon be able to pick up CBS for fifty bucks, a couple of chickens, and some cigarette butts I pick up off the sidewalk. Good times!
Hoping for a special edition of Survivor: Congress soon…
V572625694: for a lot of Jews, working Tues and Wednesday was not an option (just as next Thursday is a mandatory prayer day). You are in Temple praying all day, both days, or your soul has some issues with God. I am not Jewish and am in fact Atheist, but I am not going to give people crap when they devoutly believe in something. The non-Jews who took the time off and did not spend it working to convince constituents something needed to be done or working to convince those who voted no that they need to change their vote, them we can give crap to.
That’s it: time to start learning to play the “Internationale” on my old harmonica again.
here’z an interestin bit o’tid from the bloomberg site:
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601039&sid=aMaWyNFImi4o&refer=home
if that link changes, it’s the weil story titled “paulson’s reasons for delaying day of reckoning”… if yer shy o’time, here’z the summation: it ain’t jess the’emperor who’s nekked, it’s the whole fuckin royal court, from head consort on down to jester third-class… but we all knew this… that umpity-hundred billion trillion dollars o’paper ain’t worth nothin but butt wipe, but thass okay, we-all been fulla shit fer a long long tam… what the hell, on a crashin airplane, all the drinks is free (pace ant farmers)…
thesycophant: yeah, and U-Haul and Campbell’s soup are doing well, as are rental units around here, and lawyers who do foreclosures who were hurting in the late 1990s are now brushing off the briefcases.
But when you get your raise, be sure to store the extra cash in the matress.
thesycophant: Asshole.
Doglessliberal: Good point. Right now, the losses are only on paper. Selling kinda makes them permanent.
thesycophant: YAY my firm’s in Business Lit and everybody is suing each other for the money that’s left. WOO HOO!!! I’m getting a raise in November! Suckas!
thesycophant: Alright! Thanks for volunteering to be first to be attacked by the poor mob. We were having a hard time deciding who to get first, but you popped to the front of the line with that post. We appreciate your assistance in this endeavor and that you enjoy the newly sharpened pitchforks.
shortsshortsshorts: You are now second, after thesycophant.
Aaaawww fuck!!! Do you know that in CT, ramen noodles are $4.00 a packet?
Tell me Hopey will make it all better… instead of spending the first 3 years trying to dig us out of the Republicans’ crap mountain while they all sit back, stroke their underage boy-toy’s head and laugh.
shortsshortsshorts: Hahahahah in sectors of TRM (trading and risk management) layoffs are imminent. Hang on to your boxers just in case someone looks up your barrel.
shortsshortsshorts: Unless your firm only has Westlaw, your online legal searches are keeping me in a job. Viva la litigation! Of course “times are hard” in corporate America, so I still won’t get a decent raise. Way for me to squander a J.D.
When I cook my cat for a Thanksgiving this year in order to have meat on the table, no matter how bad things get, I WILL put those little paper chef hat thingies on his paws, he deserves that much.
Is anyone else suspicious of all this? There’s something not quite right about all this, anytime that Fratboy wants to ram something through Congress, his motives are not “We the People”, and We usually get rammed elsewhere. This is nagging at me…
LOL!! Before this is all over, the ATF will be the new IRS
ProfessorJukes: Hopey and a democratic ruled Congress/Senate will definitely make changes. Whether or not they can undo this massive pile of steaming shit done by the last eight years remains to be seen.
Special Agent Jack Mehoff: Are you going with a mouse or a ball of yarn in its mouth? Just curious.
Dow Jones can suck my bone.
Special Agent Jack Mehoff:
Naw, I won’t be eating anyone’s pets. I’ll be feasting on Repug Soylent Green.
ProfessorJukes: hopey ain’t gonna make nuthin better… git set fer a global reamin, we all gonna git t’see how th’other 90 percent been livin… ramen gonna be a delicacy…
Cogito Ergo Bibo: Well it seems like you can’t swing a dead cat around here without hitting a lawyer. Today, we are all bankruptcy lawyers!
4tehlulz: Don’t be hatin’ on the syc!
New times bring new opportunities!
Invest in a franchise that thrives on distress. Dollar stores (as mentioned earlier) will be the shopping venue of necessity. Rent-to-own (but forget about actually owning anything of value ever again) will let people pretend they’re living in the good ol’ days. Open a liquor store! If you’ve got a mind for numbers, become a bookie. Everyone will be looking for that one big score!
jodyleek: hmmm, I’m gonna have to say the yarn. The mice will be in the stuffing.
…dont be scared everybody, remember Alaska will be a haven during the impending “Mad Maxx”esque future! Moose Burgers for all, hooray!!!
phildeaux: Be careful with that dead cat. Free food is not to be taken lightly, these days.
phildeaux: when my legal career began way back in the early 90s, I did lots of commerical real estate foreclosures that were the fall out from the S&L crisis and subsequent takeover of the banks’ assets by the RTC. This is deja vu big time. I am no longer in private practice now, though, so I cannot rake in the bucks over the carcasses of the fallen this time. Oh well.
Ah, for the joys of my mother’s signature Spam and potatoes dish in the days of my youth. How happy I am those times are here again.
Above all others
porcine treat without equal
there is but one Spam
Serolf Divad: Победа!!!!!
What Would Woody Guthrie Do ??
If they’d outlaw alcohol then we could all be bootleggers just like the 1930’s. Pinstripped suits and Tommy guns for everybody!
capitol hillbilly: What Good Would Jesus Do?
phildeaux: I didn’t realize there were so many of us on Wonkette. Kinda scary, eh?
Sigh, we all better brush up on These..
Doglessliberal: i worked on that RTC stuff too, back in them daze… that was a big bank robbery, as the zappa sed… it was also a nice cozy trough to be feedin at, fer those of us got the work helpin clean it up… d’you remember D&O liability suits? heard anybody talkin bout them lately?
Luckily, I have no money to lose! Looks like the joke’s on you, arugula eaters! Holla!
What did you do in the War on Paultards, Daddy?
Doglessliberal: Agreed that the Gentiles taking the holidays off deserve to be bitch-slapped. As John Stewart pointed out, Wall Street found the time to come to work, and certainly has its own contingent of the Chosen People.
Religion blows, all of it. IMHO.
capitol hillbilly: There is nothing wrong with some good old style financial pain to get our priorities right again. Screw a recession bring on a good old school 1930’s depression and let us see what happens.
Doglessliberal: I worked for the RTC at one point. I had a sort of hellish year and a half where I moved through 3 states and had to pass 3 bars in that time, after law school. When I first moved to Virginia, I temped until I passed the bar. I was randomly assigned to the RTC in Richmond. They loved having a temp with a law degree and kept me ages longer than they really needed me, doing additional stuff that they wouldn’t have dreamed of having a temp do (lots of access to a lot of sensitive records). It wasn’t exactly fun, but it gave me some really good insight as to how they might end up solving this latest crisis.
Shaping up to be a nice Christmas buying season.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYFaEmwjr-c
Special Agent Jack Mehoff: What God Would Jesus Do
slappypaddy: Wow. Buncha RTC old hands around here! Ahhhh, memories.
LOL! McCain is pulling out of Michigan!
Special Agent Jack Mehoff: At least one person on that team has learned the value of pulling out before it’s too late.
Special Agent Jack Mehoff: Mouse stuffing - my favorite! Goes well with
cow pee…
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1707624/bizarre_foods_cow_urine/
slappypaddy: oh, we will be soon enough. I am at an NFP now, so none of that is in my bailiwick, but my husband does transactional real etstate stuff and suddenly he is back in court because people are suing each other again, not just writing settlement checks. Ah, the joys of feeding off the misery of others!
Obama’s line today about McCain’s “fundemantals of the economy are strong”:
I don’t know about the world Jon McCain is in, but in my world “There is nothing more fundamental that a JOB”
A dagger right to McCarpetbagger’s heart!
hey, everbody, ah foun paradise! we cain’t go thar, they sure as shootin doan want us, but we kin read about it (bein’s we’re in that intellectshwal elite that does that readin thang)… here’s whar tizz:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7649339.stm
Cogito Ergo Bibo: WIN
jodyleek: Thats Teevee for ya. We been eating the horse shit they prepare for us for years. Cow pee is no great leap, I’m afraid.
Special Agent Jack Mehoff: Not even a mumbled apology or a towel….now that’s classy.
capitol hillbilly: Duh, put on a dress and headed for Sweden, just like all the other Paultards and Naderites.
Special Agent Jack Mehoff: Wow, that writer looks like he should be in a horse race, not watching one.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: raisin a glass in memry an saludos… drinkin a toast t’catastrophe…
those were th’days, my fren,
we thought they’d never end,
we’d liquidate,
forever an a day.
we’d sell the real estate,
we woodnt hesitate,
those were th’days,
o yep, them were th’days.
Tommy Says Soooo: I can’t speak for the whole state, but i suspect Flint and Detroit are acustomed to that sort of thing.
Doglessliberal: show me someone ain’t a parasite, i’ll say a prayer for ‘em (an thank you, bob)…
slappypaddy: Show me someone who believes in prayer and I’ll show you my laughing face.
I’m going to Inner Earth Hell from the Bible aren’t I?
McCain Not Able ™
Special Agent Jack Mehoff: Good point. You can throw in the armpit around Lake Michigan, which would be Benton Harbor.
Howevah, there’s MOOSE in the Upper Peninsula! I forgot about ‘em. Though sniping from helicopters is restricted only in case of urban unrest so Palin wouldn’t help.
Dagnabit, it’s not a Wall Street Bailout, it’s a Main Street Rescue. But it’s still Jimmy Dean Pork Pancake suppository.
We’re all gonna dieeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! Lock up yer daughters and wives! Lock up yer dogs and sheeps too! Get a gun! Get 10 guns and more ammo! Kill the monkeys and rape the cockroaches, fire, brimstone, locusts, PLAGUE! It’s goddammit Black, Bubonic, Pneumonic, Cybertronic, Discophonic FUCKIN’ PLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGUE!!! Even the puppies are gonna turn against you. The GODDAMN FRIGGIN PUPPIES!!! Damn. It’s not even 3 yet.
thesycophant: Vultures never go hungry
Special Agent Jack Mehoff: didn say i beleeved in it, tho i am kinda fonda laughin…
uh-oh…
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601109&sid=aeWRhkAoaDlE&refer=home
Special Agent Jack Mehoff: The DeVos family, owners of Amway and the Michgan GOP, once again shows their political power.
How many of the procreation wingnuts’ kids are going to be hungry because of their parents’ opposition to social programs? How many will change their standing now that reality has taken a big bite outta their asses? Sacrifice a child’s welfare to show what they believe is integrity? I hope they all die a slow, painful death.
Special Agent Jack Mehoff: Too bad, he could have gotten another house there too…
Not saved? But it’s at least good that wooden arrows will be fucking cheap now. We can shoot them while we drink cheap Puerto Rican rum. Ahhhh, the good life.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
McNuts ain’t rich, but he is bitter
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/10/02/mccain-says-im-not-a-rich_n_131225.html