Wonkette
God this just makes no sense. McCain says about the bailout he voted for just last night, “This bill is putting us on the brink of economic disaster.” Well that’s as good a reason as any to support it, no? Then he says he voted against Medicare and porks at other times in his life and recently flew into Washington to convince his Republican friends also to vote for this bill that puts our country on the brink of economic disaster while Obama talked on the telephone, wait, WHAT? [YouTube]
“Hello Senator McCain?”
“Yes, I did the Icky…
Gotcha!
(McCain is made out of dumplings.)
no tv and no beer make McCain go something something
go crazy?
DONT MIND IF I DO!
Alzheimer’s is a terrible disease.
can this man ever answer a question???
Whoa. That was a non-answer worthy of Bible Spice. Maybe he’s actually losing his mind? Or he donated too many brain cells to Barbie for tonight’s debate? I dunno. Grampy haz a fail.
McCain is in the tank.
Senator McCain, line one, sanity is calling.
In the middle of his response, something started to come up and he had to swallow it back down.
I figure this morning’s breakfast baby didn’t settle right.
“Confused, would we?” - Homer Simpson
Wait, he just said that he’s voting FOR the bill because it “puts us on the brink of economic disaster”???
Does he think that he voted against the bill and then misheard the question? I’m confused… not as confused as McCain, but confused.
McCain has Sarah-Palin-on-the-brain
JeffGoldblum: The drunk tank from the look of it.
Well, first of all his pupils are the size of QUARTERS. Maybe that has something to do with it.
More! What happened next? Did they show the interviewer, squinting with mouth agape for a few painful seconds before she said, “Um? Wha?”
Seriously, I want to hear her response…
I love that Walnuts’ entire bailout strategy basically equals: If we can just kill a few earmarks for cougar research labs and dolphin sex-quariums, we can fix the entire world credit market.
Scarab: Apparently, he has to kill the country to save it. Or at least give it a good scare. ‘Cause economic crises are like the hiccups, don’tcha know?
Somebody fetch the electrical tape, ‘cuz it looks like the wirings gone to shit.
I miss Cocktober….
You’d be confused, too, if your running mate was Sarah Palin and all you’ve thought about for the past 3 days is “MY CAMPAIGN IS GOING TO END TONIGHT UNLESS BIBLE SPICE SOMEHOW CONVINCES AMERICA SHE IS NOT COMPLETELY RETARDED.”
Cogito Ergo Bibo: McCain loves America like Maverick loved Goose.
“I’ve voted against tons of bills. Rocks. Taxes. Medicare. Puppies. I voted against the Puppies Bill because there was no, because the rocks and the taxes and so I’m proud.”
Quacker: Yeah. Blovember will never be the same…
Almost half of America wants this man in office… How is that even possible?
I’ve got it! He really believed those multicolored pills Cindy carries in her purse are “fun” designer Excedrin like Megan told him so he wouldn’t go apeshit. He took an assortment for his arthritis this AM.
MSNBC: “Some say this bill puts us on the brink of economic disaster. Why did you vote for it?”
WALNUTS!: “Because exactly what you said; the bill puts us on the brink of economic disaster.”
MSNBC: “I’m sorry, Senator?”
WALNUTS!: “I know you are but what am I?”
MSNBC: “What are you–”
WALNUTS!: “Take a picture it’ll last longer”
MSNBC: “Senator McCain–”
WALNUTS!: “I’m Panamanian rubber and you are the glue from an Arabic horses’ hoof. Things are bouncing like Sarah Palin’s tits, lady.
MSNBC: “Senator, I’m not sure I’m understanding–”
WALNUTS!: “C*nt”
Juan McMaverick: Oh, please. Sanity has nothing to say to him.
Senator Obama didn’t phone it in, he was right there, trying to shake your fucking hand
Sarah Palin is no Edith Wilson.
Ooo-ooooooh
Ooo-ooooooh
With his vote in the air, mental health is unsound
Go on TV and spin it, yeah.
His campaign will collapse, since there’s nothing in it
And we ask ourselves
Where is his mind
Where is his mind
Wheeeere is hiiiis mind
Well if Obama hadn’t been such a big fat showboat, suspending his campaign, taking pictures with the president and demanding that McCain come back to Washington, he wouldn’t have voted for the stinking bill in the first place.
Wow. I think I have a concussion from the cognitive dissonance.
Monkey Seeing someone completely lose their shit like that usually elicits pity from me. For Walnuts, I’mm make an exception.
Tawmn: People eat microwavable Jimmy Dean Pancakes and Sausage on a Stick for breakfast. That’s how it’s possible.
Of course, Obama could “phone it in” because 2 FRIGGIN THIRDS of House Democrats already AGREED with their leadership and voted FOR the bill, though most disliked it. Any change in the bill that would have convinced those opposing Democrats to vote for it would have further alienated the Republicans, giving them an excuse to grandstandingly oppose it.
On the other hand, the GOP leadership could not get its own representatives to set aside their short-term electoral opportunism and/or ideological rigidity to actually do something that might (MIGHT) be good for the country and not just for themselves. Thus, McCain could not “phone it in” but had to go around offering fellatios by himself or Palin (according to preference, which I hear turned out to be 50:50) to anyone who’d switch their vote.
That’s just politics.
McCain learned the hard lesson of 2000: America loves the incoherent ill-informed candidate.
You know what? When I see McCain - I’m on the BRINK - the brink of throwing my chair into the TV.
omg… he’s still defending his “suspension” and Obama’s “phoning it in” when the Daily Show clearly proved HE was the one doing the phoning, and HE was the one who took 22 hours to get back for the emergency in Wash.?
And what is up with that “gulp” about half way through? You real doctors must know if this is just anxiety or a precursor of med problems to come. He is losing it, it’s not pretty, and we still have a month. I guess I picked a bad time to quit smoking.
And btw, looks like we’ll have to add Gwen I. to the DC people he’s dissed. Chances are she’s high in the running for Lehrer’s job. Wouldn’t want to be McSnippy with Ms. Gwen sorting the news at pbs.
McLame in the Membrane…
McCrusty blinks more than my 4 year old niece with chronic conjunctivitis in the observatory on the ship in Sunshine with the shield set on 90.
Tawmn: Years of inbreeding, education being labeled “bad/elitist”, NASCAR, high fructose corn syrup and lack of exercise leading to obesity (and also a fat/lazy brain), racism, fear of terrorists, and the resurgence of Christian Fundamentalism. There are probably 700 billion reasons, but these are my favorite.
While we’re being ‘entertained’ by these assholes, this is what them assholes are doing behind the scenes: http://www.bradblog.com/?p=6453
http://i.realone.com/assets/rn/img/3/6/7/5/23315763-23315766-slarge.jpg
Dientes: You sound like McCain defending his voting record!
These are not the droids I am looking for…Shit! I always fall for that one! WALNUTS!!!!
HA HA! McCain was there and Barry used his infernal “telephone” contraption.
NoWireHangers: Comedy gold!
slomojoe: fellatios? That sounds like a delicious breakfast alternative to sausage on a stick. Do they come in honey nut?
Monkey: You’re totally right. That damn Colbert green screen clip must be on loop in my subconscious. Darn you WALNUTS! Quit corrupting my brain waves. Monkey, your reason was much better anyway
.
NoWireHangers: Exactly. Before I watched the clip I thought, “Hahaha Jim Newell is so funny,” and after watching it, I was all, “Coherence much, Mr. McCain?”
He’s totally taking lessons on answering questions from his running mate.
Haha, at the end of that interview (yeah, I’m a loser and looked it up and watched the rest), McCain bets on the Red Sox and Dodgers in the World Series, then says, “but that’s why I’m not rich man”…haha, what? So now “rich” doesn’t start at $5 million, it starts at $37 million (a few Gs above the McCains’ net worth). Yeow!
OK, I’ve come up with some new ideas for McCain to rescue his campaign:
- “Straight Talk Version 2″ - from this point on, I’m only going to tell the truth. No kidding.
- “Celebrate Main Street, USA” - every town in America gets $5000 stimulus check to host a block party.
- “Post Cards for Prosperity” - US Post Office offers free weekend mailing for post cards and letters weighing less than 2 oz.
- “Race to Election Day” - new program allows you to vote while attending NASCAR events or watching them on cable TV. Helps re-enfranchise middle aged, portly white men.
checkonechecktwo: On blinking from here: http://www.bodylanguagesignals.com/Eyes.html
- Excessive blinking
–> showing romantic interest (if their pupil is dilated) [Grampy luvz Hopey!]
–> sign of stress
–> could be lying
Dientes: at th’risk o’bein the bastard at the family reunion, i kinda like a liddle bit o’nascar… ah mean, whut red-bloodied merkun doan thrill jess a liddle bit at five abreast down th’straightaway at talladega? tho t’be honess, i watch nascar from tam t’tam fer th’same reazon anyboddy else does, fer the wrecks… you kin git those on youtube now, y’know, stay up all night watchin fast cars bangin inta each other… gawd ah luv this country… not too fonda all the peeps, tho, i must admit…
I can’t tell if he’s not following the conversation or if he’s deliberately bullshitting so he can tell the house republicans that he voted against the bill before he voted for it.
At least Obama knows how to use a phone. Stephen Hawkins can use a computer.
Vanity Smurf: You can dip them in whatever condiment you like. Just avoid Tabasco.
slappypaddy: As long as you are not investing your life savings into NASCAR memorabilia(i.e. beanie baby representations of your favorite drivers) with the hope of making a huge profit selling it on eBay, then a little love of vehicular destruction is not a bad thing.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: - Prolonged blinking (as if blinking in slow motion)
–> losing interest (or feeling very sleepy! )-
Aw, he’s just so sweepy! I just wanna tuck him in and sing a lullaby to soothe his dilapidated soul.
Condiments-Only Diet: I saw that too. His analysis of baseball was as rambling as the rest of it. It made my brain hurt.
You can see the gears turning “Did she just challenge my maverick status? I’ll show her! FUCK THIS BILL IT’LL DESTROY EVERYTHING!”
God he’ll fuck this country up.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
checkonechecktwo: He’s more of a lyin’ fast-blinker most of the time, though. ‘Cause he’s a MAVERICK!
Wow, whatever Snow Barbie has is contagious.
OMG! WALNUTS! sounds just like a male DINGBATS!
WHO CAN SAVE AMERICA FROM AMERICA?
All i hear is this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3M5G34FVjw
No snark here - am I the only one that thinks there is something seriously (medically) wrong with him? His voice is slurred - he can’t follow a basic conversation - something’s not right.
McCain, in a section of the interview cut from the broadcast:
“Runny dogshit is disgusting and vile and that’s why I enjoy eating it for breakfast every morning with pickle relish and blueberry yogurt on top. Also, the sky is yellow and I have never lied.”
ihasasad: Hi, I’m Brad!This is my blog, it is so filled with knowledge that just looking at it makes you queasy! I suck, and so does my page.
GayInMaine: I watched this interview. He never ONCE answered the question (it was asked twice) as to why he did not vote against the plan. He talked around it. Even the Rethugs have to think this smells. As does his Depends, I am sure.
OH! and he was asked if he thought the Cubbies would win, his answer “well, since MY Diamondbacks blew it!” Entire team should tell him to fuck himself.
A waste is a terrible to thing to mind
GayInMaine: I’m with you - I think that there is something seriously wrong with McCain (and not just his politics). He’s been making little sense. I think that sadly (because we’ll all be there some day) he is too old and not what he used to be.
Mavwik go poopie.
Q: “Who’s on first?”
A: “Absolutely!”
mattbolt: Heroic: extra points for massive music cred.
JBink: GayInMaine: I’m with both of you. This has a level of disconnect that I would normally blame on a health issue. I mean, maybe Gramps is tired. That is sort of to be expected, on the trail. However, being preznit is sort of taxing, as well. If skipping his nap and making it to the morning talkies is too hard on his mental faculties, I’m thinking we don’t want him answering the phone at 3 a.m.
(CNN) – John McCain said Thursday that Barack Obama’s poll numbers are rising as the economy seems to sink “because life isn’t fair.”
“He certainly did nothing for the first few days,” McCain told Fox News Thursday. “I suspended my campaign, took our ads down, came back to Washington, met with the House folks and got on the phone, and also had face-to-face meetings.”
Hilarious, McCain’s new strategy is pouting.
This shows the major difference between McCain and Palin. McCain, when forced to discuss something about which he knows nothing or which he has shown contradictory opinions on, is able to move smoothly to a scripted talking point. Palin freezes up and grabs at whatever she can recall.
Content is the same.
GayInMaine: Yes, it’s called Palinitis. We can only hope it’s fatal.
slomojoe: “But I suspended my campaign! I dissed David Letterman, talked to Katie Couric, spoke on the Global Initiative and RUSHED back to Washington only 24 hours later! I barely spoke during that meeting with Dubya that I called! I failed to deliver House Republican votes this Monday! Why don’t you people luv me? I haz a sad.”
You’d think that a guy who was TORTURED FOR FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, ALAN, would already know that life isn’t fair. I guess he’s a slow learner.
Charles Schulz was in the tank for Obama in 1961:
<a href=”http://www.comics.com/comics/peanuts/archive/images/peanuts2008183421002.gif”http://www.comics.com/comics/peanuts/archive/images/peanuts2008183421002.gif
Charles Schulz was in the tank for Obama in 1961:
http://www.comics.com/comics/peanuts/archive/images/peanuts2008183421002.gif
hopebong: Yup, he caught Sarah’s bug - I wonder how it’s transmitted…
slomojoe: Least he isn’t showin those old yellars.
Giant Robot: He caught it by staring at her caboose while she was speechifying. Just a warning to you Paliphiles who are lurking out there.
Scarab:
Gopherit v2.0: Cognitive disonance?
shortsshortsshorts: Are you catching on?
Obama & McCain voted for the same bill to give our treasury away.
Anybody else on the fucking ballot would at least show we all ain’t brain dead, zombie, brain washed screwballs following the propaganda that claims O & Mc are the only two choices.
All the dumb shit about voting for a candidate who can’t win only validates the propaganda.
The Democrats/Obama will sell us all out so it won’t matter if McCain wins.
Voting for Nader is our only chance to salvage the entire country.
I know you all are in lock step, completely bamboozled by Obama so spending any time here is completely wasted. Don’t disappoint me. Attack Nader with some irrelevant bull.
vigilante: All the dumb shit about voting for a candidate who can’t win only validates the propaganda.
Enjoy your wasted, irrelevant Nader vote! The rest of us will just have to live with having an actual part in deciding our own fate. It’ll be tough, but I’m thinking we can handle it.
Vanity Smurf: Edith Bunker, perhaps…
Cogito Ergo Bibo: What you said.
slomojoe: I call shenanigans. McCain did NOT take down the ads. He did NOT suspend his campaign. And if he got on the phone, as he accused Barry of doing later on, does this imply that Walnuts also phoned in his vote? Liar, liar, diapers on fire!
Itsjustme: I haz a so sorry! Did not mean to make you look at so much flair
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=rRfJtnfQDgg
Cogito Ergo Bibo:
Obumba will win without the Wonkies. McCain has destroyed himself. He’ll be lucky to get 25%.
Even the Republicans will ditch him so they don’t drown trying to save McCain.
You are all clueless assholes about as dumb as mcCain. Whoops, not dumb — BRAINWASHED.
Is that a pizza store?
You have to be a special type of retard to try to convince someone of how to vote on wonkette. Why don’t I just go insult everyone at a Yankees blog and say they should be Red Sox fans?
That’s not the strategy/tactics we can believe in.
A McCain in the arse is a terrible thing to poos.