Wonkette
McCAIN IS AN ASSHOLE: Last night on the Senate floor, Barack Obama walked over to greet John McCain and shake his hand. “McCain shook it, but with a ‘go away’ look that no one could miss. He tried his best not to even look at Obama.” [CQ Politics]
GET OFF MY LAWN
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That WALNUTS!, all class.
He is also a punk ass bitch.
Well, if you make eye contact with the black man, he might ask for change, right?
To be fair, McCain was clenching a fistful of Walnuts in his rectum and didn’t want to make small talk.
“McCain’s an asshole.” Tomorrow’s headline: “Sun rises in East.”
WALNUTS! doesn’t negotiate with those he disagrees with. Barack was lucky WALNUTS! didn’t drop a nuke on him in the Senate.
That first time President Obama addresses the senate is going to be pretty awkward, ain’t it NUTS!?
I feel sorry for WALNUTS! family because he’s going to be an even OLDER, grumpier, ornerier asshole when he returns to Arizona for Christmas as a complete, utter, loser.
superfecta: or steal your wife, your soul, or eat your babies.
About the tag. Only our beloved Sara is allowed to use the “c” word. By the way, where the fuck is she? Preparing for the debate?
…you would think after graduating at the bottom of his class, crashing 4 planes, setting an aircraft carrier on fire, getting shot down, being implicated in a criminal probe and losing to “Dubya” in the 2000 election, that he would be use to FAILING by now?
“Good to see you, you marbblf farble glorified pedophile. Rackafraccckin… this was mine, dammit.”
Angry Grampy. Sooo sad. Obama’s lucky Oldy McFunster didn’t take a shot at him.
You know, I’m starting to think you’re picking unflattering pictures of WALNUTS! *deliberately*.
AngryBlakGuy: A Maverick knows no failure. He’s the kind of man that…
well, he’s the kind of man.
McCain was just nervous, being in an unfamiliar surrounding.
S.Luggo: She left her proxie with Ken Layne.
superfecta: …didn’t you get the memo? Black people now ask for sub-prime mortgages, so that we can ruin the white mans economy.
In defense of McCain, I’m sure he never looks at the help no matter where he is.
superfecta: Or try to steal your pretty blond daughter for a night of ghetto luv, and you sure as hell don’t to be raising no mulatto grandbaby, does ya, tinkerbell?.
NoWireHangers: I do NOT feel sorry for his family, except maybe Megan, because she’s probably going to vote for Hopey.
DangerousLiberal: Ha! My first out loud laugh in a couple of days!
“McCAIN IS AN ASSHOLE:” Actually, you could have written that he got a Slurpee at the Seven Eleven and it would have been applicable..
He just doesn’t understand!
shortsshortsshorts: …at this rate, I wouldn’t be surprised if he goes critical mass during the next debate with Barry.
S.Luggo: Yeah, that baby might become president.
Joe Lieberman saw him on his way and warned McCain quietly — the eyes, John, remember - they shift!
Sources say Cindy has been watching the interracial porno with her tea and Percocets lately. Good ole WALNUTS! is not amused.
Barry’s totally in McCain’s head, and when McCain tries to kick him out in the next debate, it’s going to be _ugly_.
I’m thinking one or two n-bombs under his breath for starters.
Maybe it was one of those eye droop, corner of mouth up, wink spazum thingys that he does because he’s about to die. It weren’t about the black man
Obama tries to shake someone’s hand without preconditions?
Is he ready to lead?
-McCain/Palin
Johnny Mac doesn’t like to make eye contact while he’s pooping.
Is it too early to call it the Janitor Presidency, where the Negro comes in to clean up the fucking mess?
magic titty: I wonder if it was the Palin lookalike porno that Larry Flynt just produced. Perhaps she got an advance copy.
He was just jealous because he saw Obama downing a half dozen eggs this morning in the Congressional mess and he’s only allowed to eat grapenuts and prune juice.
Delicious:
Deliciously priceless.
Perhaps Walnuts, who lost the Repug primary in 2000 because of rumors that he fathered a half black baby, is rather upset losing to another half black kid in 2008.
Maybe he was worried about cooties. I mean, Sarah told him they are TOTALLY real and you can get ‘em frum just touchin’ someone!
Or he doesn’t shake hands with terrorists. One of those.
4tehlulz: Might be a little off-topic but I (heart) Piper Palin. Is there some way I can adopt her? Whenever I see her on TV I think, there’s still time to save her! You don’t want to be like your sister do you? No, you want to be a normal person who knows Jesus won’t send his Dinosaur Cavalry to eat her if she uses the birth control! Run, child! If you make it to Canada they’ll give you asylum! RUN!
blader: Racist, classist, and…. true.
4tehlulz: Shhh. They’re all going to vote for Hopey…
Never underestimate the power of SHAME.
Johnny Alzheimer was expecting Hopey to hand him the keys to one of his eleven cars, and he glares that way at everyone he has to tip.
I like Hitchens’ answer: “Old-fashioned Irish oatmeal”….you know, the 80 proof kind.
And 4 min of total body wortkout? Explains the body made by Hostess.
Gopherit v2.0: Damn. Wrong thread.
Good old Onion
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPTB7-ecDC8
You all are In The Tank for Obama. Don’t you know that McCain’s Five And A Half Years, Alan as a prisoner of war left him unable to shake hands without grimacing and turning his head. It also gave him Tourettes which is why he’s always calling his wife a trollop cunt. Leave it to liberals to make fun of a hero’s war wounds.
Gopherit v2.0: Ha. Is this WALNUTS!?
Yeah, my grandfather hates the black assisted living servant that tells him what to do too.
“Dow Plunges 300 on Unemployment, Factory Reports- AP”
Gettin’ me ticket to hoboville.
It was a gotcha handshake.
McCain is pissed at Obama for the same reason that Hillary, Bill and the Hilltards hate Obama: they see him as an interloper that has or is about to take away something that they feel is rightly theirs.
When I was a kid, we called them sore losers.
Doglessliberal: Walnuts is only used to black people shining his shoes or trying to clean his windshield at red lights.
McCain clearly had the diarrhea from his Jimmy Dean breakfast - I’d like to see any of you calmly shake hands with a time bomb of pancakes and sausage up your ass!
NoWireHangers: No WAY… You think Walnuts family wants him around more?
AngryBlakGuy: Well white people always follow the black people’s trends so any day now me and mine will be ruining the white man’s economy cuz that’s what’s hip. Know what I sayin’?
bhosp: Yeah, Piper’s cute but I want to see her cry when Mommie loses.
Texan Bulldoggette:
“Senator Obama was surprised when he noticed that McCain had slipped a $1 bill into Obama’s hand during their handshake. Obama later stated that he heard McCain mutter something about ‘uppity shoeshine boys’ and ‘lazy doormen’.”
Gopherit v2.0: We forgive you. It’s that whole Palin thing, you know giving answers that make no sense based on the questions asked.
azw88:
Methinks Gopherit just had him some of Hitchens’ breakfast.
bhosp: I figure that they are dragging Piper along to these events as a means of keeping HER from getting knocked up by some rednecked, hockey-playing, ass-kicking meth head.
He was afraid that Obama would try to initiate one of those elaborate negro handshakes.
Serolf Divad: Could be, but that just makes me a wee bit jealous…..
azw88: It’s the debate. It’s making me stupid(er) the closer it comes in time. By the time it stops, I’ll be drooling and pooping myself just like Walnuts.
Kev-O-Tron: excellent.
azw88: They’d rather have her knocked up by some Republicant staff intern with a name like Nigel Worthington-Coldstone-upon-Livermore.
(that’s actually a place to go for ice cream after a Raiders game, on yer way back to Stockton)
Isn’t this the guy selling his bipartisanship and ability to reach across the aisle?
Ah, I get it. Most people think bipartisanship is working together. What a maverick!
Kev-O-Tron: Golly! Do I ever have soul!
regisgoat: McCain’s arthritic hand can’t close in order to facilitate a proper Terrorist Fist Jab.
Serolf Divad: “Wake up every morning to a fine Hitchens’ Breakfast! Chock full of vitamin A, a Hitchens’ Breakfast will give you the energy to do your 4 minute workout and enough liquid courage to look at yourself in the mirror without being overcome by self-loathing!”
NoWireHangers: I’d settle for pregnant by age 12. And Shouldn’t the other high school daughter be knocked up by now?
regisgoat: Or a terrorist fist-jab.
blader:
Dammit! That’s “Maintenance Engineer” Have respect for your mulatto friends.
Walnuts’s new motto: Better pilot than Steve Fossett.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/10/02/fossett-wreckage-possibly_n_131159.html
With all due respect to the Senator from Illinois, John McCain had to be with people he didn’t agree with politicaly for FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, ALLEN
Also, he was probably ascurred that Barry was “cocaine crazed”
regisgoat: Win!!
Jeebus! Supposedly, the only way Walnuts can do any “fighting” (be it literal or figurative) is to make the other party the “enemy.” Of course, we elitist, arugula eating, babyhating liberals don’t understand that.
blader: “Janitor presidency”
… Oh, I am *so* stealing that!!!
sarahconnor: Too funny.
grendel: It’s a touch call: do they hate so much that they won’t vote for him, or do they realize that if they don’t vote for him he’ll be in Arizona more? Either way they lose, and I laugh.
Why should McCain be nice to him? After all, Obama is in the tank for Obama!
Johnny boy speaks with forked tongue.
No wait, That’s forked up.
It was merely a mistake, as John S. mistook Barry for the Senate shoe-shine boy.
ForTheTurnstiles: Do Raiders fans really stop there after a game??? With thier performance the past couple of years, I’d think that local dive bars that serves cheap whiskey would be more likely! (and I am a hard core Raiders fan!)
Gopherit v2.0: Win. Especially designed for ex-Maoist Wolfowitz bumboys who decide at the age of 59 to have a Brazilian and whinge like a little girl after a little waterboarding. Chimp.
Monkey: well, most of us realize that the stick is there to keep your hands from getting greasy while eating it, whereas Johnny-mac sees the stick as a vital component that allows deeper insertion into the anal cavity!
Overheard from the greeting by Hopey: “Hello, John, it’s always good to be back on the Senate floor where we can both do some good to help the American people. Please give my best wishes to Governor Palin tonight. I have been so busy that I haven’t had a chance to see the latest polls from Florida and Virginia, have you?”
McCain was just confused that someone out mavericked him. Afterward he beat the shit out of Lieberman for not telling him Obama was coming over so he could go hide in the broom closet.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
Does anyone expect McCain to ever show up in the Senate again after he loses in November?
I think that he’ll serve out the remainder of his term sitting in his Arizona compound swaddled in comforting adult pampers, re-fighting injustices in his deteriorating mind while his hair and fingernails grow.
OzoneTom: The only “re-fighting injustices” he’s doing is wondering why all the “hot babes” aren’t trying to bed him when he’s ninety thousand years old.
jodyleek: Or pushing so hard that his ass gasket blows (See also his interview with the Des Moines Register).
AngryBlakGuy: The story I’m hearing is that most black people actually qualified for and were offered prime mortgages, but decided to take the more expensive subprime mortgages because they hate America.
See my post on the next topic about the diameter of McSame’s oval anal orifice exceeding even that of his cranial cavity. Thus the feasibility of inserting the latter in the former and the necessity of leaving it there for the term of jestation.