Wonkette
Remember when men used to go hunting? Well, they all quit — all but Ted Nugent and Dick Cheney, anyway. Today, American men just sit on the couch in their underwear eating Taco Bell and watching video of people driving cars around in circles. So the whole hunting industry of gun manufacturers and camouflage outfitters and various animal-shooting paraphernalia is fading away like all the other American industries. Can Sarah Palin at least help this lost cause?
Palin, as we’ve been told so many millions of times, is a tough Alaskan gal who eats mooseburger, and also she has shot and killed and (supposedly) gutted and field dressed the game, after she shot it dead. (More likely, she just rode up on a goddamned off-road ATV thing and some snowbilly handed her a gun and she fired it and then drove back to her goddamned tanning bed in a mansion.)
Desperate for a new market, the hunting industry is trying to get women out there. Hell, maybe the women could even wear the camo and the orange vests that used to fit the men, before the men all weighed 700 pounds and couldn’t wear anything other than an XXXXXL muu-muu T-shirt with the words “NO FEAR” over a picture of Calvin praying at a cross.
And now there’s a huntress spokesmodel in the form of Mrs. Gov. Palin.
Gov. Palin is an ideal role model, say some women hunters, because she defies the masculine image of the sport. “She’s a babe,” says Linda Burch, a bear-hunting Minnesota accounting executive who applies lipstick before posing for kill shots.
Also: The women who hunt like to leave shitty little poems for each other on these LadyHunting.com websites. (Sarah could probably do that, too!) So this is all basically some Xena fan fiction.
Sarah Palin Inspiring More Women To Kill [Gawker]
The Solution to Hunting’s Woes? Setting Sights on Women [WSJ]
Hah! The economy will soon dictate our return to our meat-hunting days! I am sharpening my spear points as we speak.
Kill the beluga whales. Kill the polar bears. Kill the Meese. Kill the enviornment. Kill the economy. Sarah Killah! Palin. Yea! Let God sort ‘em out baby!
Cheney only hunts man, the most dangerous prey
yes, exactly what we need. a stereotypically attractive female toting around a gun and shooting thing. why does this sound utterly sexist?
In the old country we only had meat on Sundays.
She cannot cite any Court Case that pertains to gun ownership or hunting, which makes her a perfect proponent for the second amendment.
MORE FIREPOWER, please.
its true. the bitch always has a gun.
i saw her in a gay bar in sf this weekend and she was packing even then.
Proof: http://flickr.com/photos/captaintim/2903082009/
YES! Thank You! Driving a car in a circle is NOT a sport! Millions of people do it every day on the capital beltway.
Kill, baby, kill!
It is my understanding that when the elections are over, evil scientists working under Herr Doktor Karl Röve intend to breed Sarah Palin and Ted Nugent and produce a race of intellectually inferior, but ultra-conservative, guitar playing, moose slaying Über Republicans to subjugate the human race.
Moose Hunters…NOT one of the Top 50 Swing Voter Demographics in 2008.
Do you know the Top 50 Swing Voters?
#50 - Hockey Moms
#47 - People with STDs
#44 - Women with Unfortunate Muffin Top Tattoos
#41 - Predatory Lenders
#40 - ???
http://swingvoters.wordpress.com
capt. tim:
1. Hysterical
2. Are you sure that isnt “Linda Burch, a bear-hunting Minnesota accounting executive who applies lipstick before posing for kill shots”
Drill Drill Drill
Kill Kill Kill
that about sums up the campaign
Swingvoter: 40. Boris Badenov fans.
Does she shoot things or does she just run down terrified animals with that infernal contraption?
hilarious, Swingvoter. love the jewish grandparents post…
So that’s why my local sporting goods store is carrying pick rifles and pistols. Nothing says “feminine” like a .300 Win Mag with a tasteful, ladylike stock
…only a retard would sit and watch a car drive a round a track 500 times making left had turns! I wonder if NASCARs have turn indicators?
I LOVE Xena!! She could fish with her bare hands! I wish she were my mom. Speaking of fishing, here’s a very cool letter to Palin from a fisherman. I had no idea fishing could be so dangerous!!
http://www.strike-the-root.com/82/herman/herman5.html
Xena fan-fiction? I heard the female gays (the Lezbanians) loved the Xena.
Personally, I’d loooove to ee sSarah making out with Gabrielle in a hot tub.
I kind of feel bad for her now. She looks like a fun person in that picture. She should have told McCain “no thanks” and stayed the fun governor of Alaska. Now she will be forever be remembered as the Miss National Idiot 2008.
Swingvoter:
May I suggest:
People who religiously watch “America’s funniest home videos” every evening after dinner.
People who say “grace” even before breakfast.
People who believe nothing they read in the papers, and everything they see in infomercials.
40 somethings who still eat kid’s cereals.
People who think bear rugs are the height of classy.
People with “skeletal remains” in their back yards.
People who “love Chinese food” and think they love actual Chinese food.
People who still bake stuff.
People who drink Coke for breakfast.
People who smoke those little cigarette sized cigars.
I could think of more…
Delicious: She is tearing up the fucking river banks with a Quad. She deserves to drown.
since we’re all gonna be totin firearms on the new apocalypsticked pig frontier, tam to open our hymnals to song number thirty-ought-six, that bein the five rules o’gun control… y’all believe in gun control, i know you do, as do i, bless our hearts… okay, here we go…
the five rules o’gun control:
1. always treat ever gun like iss loaded
2. never point a gun at nobody less yer gonna shoot’em
3. never shoot nobody less y’mean to kill ‘em
4. keep yer gun clean
5. keep yer powder dry
thar ya go, the five rules etc… glad as always to be of sum assistance in these out troublous tams… an remember, wonketties, number one — always, always always always, treat ever gun like iss loaded, specially if iss pointin at you…
Delicious: Don’t feel bad for her until she’s permanently retired from public office. People like her have a way of showing up again — look at Newt Gingrich. The last thing this country needs is a case of premature pity. Hey, maybe that’s McCain’s latest strategy…
slash fiction lesbian huntress video game mayhaps? kill with gun, kill with bare hands, kill with log, kill with rock? i can haz?
I think she laughs the Russian moose to death.
With all that crap on the ATV, she must be building a house in the woods. Want to be a real hunter? Leave the L.L. Bean inventory behind and go after a grizzly with a Bowie knife. Notice the side pocket has copies of the Washington Post and Time magazine sticking out, with Thomas Friedman’s The World is Flat tied on the back. Chew, spit.
I know what’s up! McCain is trying to get us into a recession/depression because then Sarah’s hunting experience will actually qualify as leadership experience. When we can’t afford grocery store prices, we will need that kind of knowledge. As VP, Caribou Barbie will give us all one free kill your own moose lesson!
I like a little butch with my bitch.
Why the hell does this woman even want to be VP anyway? It’s going to be just like Bush getting all nutty the more time he’s away from any environment that affords brush clearing opportunities. Has anybody informed this Retard Girl about the distinct lack of varmint killin’ opportunities in the D.C. area?
sarahconnor:
Digital naughty thoughts.
Serolf Divad: Swingvoter:
* people who chew tobacco
* people who think that domestically-produced oil will magically be cheaper than the world market price
* people who vote for candidates they believe are as dumb as they are
* residents all census tracts in Dumbfuckistan
Seriously — what is there to “swing” on here?
Serolf Divad: Wait… what? Hey…. Diet Coke is good with any meal, dammit!
Here in Texas, gun sales are up, …”anticipating the prospect of an Obama presidency…”.
http://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2008/07/post_106.html
You see, Barack is good for the local economy!
This is the critical flaw in our election process, we have debates about policy and positions instead of ATV races. Maybe in a better America, Palin would have a chance, but alas her offroading will probably never take on the importance it should.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
Ken Layne: There’s nothing better on a climbing trip in the morning then the sound of an ATV ripping through the very fucking fabric of the cerebral cortex.
slappypaddy: Not even close. Actually, while there are many versions of The 10 Commandments of Firearm Safety, I like this one…
1. Treat every firearm with the same respect due a loaded firearm.
2. Control the direction of your firearm’s muzzle.
3. Identify your target and what is beyond.
4. Be sure the barrel and action are clear of obstructions.
5. Unload firearms when not in use.
6. Never point a firearm at anything you do not want to destroy.
7. Never climb a fence or tree, or jump a ditch or log, with a loaded firearm.
8. Never shoot a bullet at a flat, hard surface or water.
9. Store firearms and ammunition separately beyond the reach of children.
10. Avoid alcoholic beverages before or while shooting, but partake of them in excess once your firearms are safely stored.
As a female hunter this woman pisses me off to no end. And there is nothing worse than a mad woman with a gun…
btwbfdimho:
Wow. Just wow. Those commenters are seriously scary. Like Timothy McVeigh-level scary.
Q2: Thank you. Some of us spend our valuable free-time teaching others about this. Palin is funny. Firearms are not. She’s making the sport a joke.
HA HA Sarah’s on an oil-eating bigwheel…but where are the other chitlins? Call Social Services!!
Ken Layne:
For realz. Get a dirtbike, you non-balancing fucktards!
btwbfdimho: Botswana Meat Commission FC:
Nice people in that comment section huh? It’s sounds like they’re preparing for a Charlie Manson style “Helter Skelter”.
Swingvoter: #40 internet trolls.
Delicious: Don’t forget Bomb Bomb Bomb
pondscum: As you well know, scummy, the use of firearms for personal defense and sport is no joke. However, the use of firearms for political manipulation is, IMHO, unforgivable. Sarah Palin would do well to present firearm use in a serious and educative light. But she can’t…because for Sarah Palin firearms are a cool tool she uses in her machiavellian drive to aquire personal power. Sarah Palin, you have shamed yourself among those advocate responsible and serious firearm ownership, and your use of firearms as personal political props creates blow back which is hurtful to responsible gun owners. I hate you Bitch.
Q2: Can I get an Amen? AMEN! Sorry to the rest of you for the lack of snark…
Delicious: NO — don’t feel sorry for her! that’s just what they want you to do! read this instead: http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2008/09/30/palin_pity/
‘Tis a beautous evening, calm and free,
The quiet time is pious as a nun;
Breathless with adoration, the broad son
of a Luo tribesman will only get my gun,
When he prys it from my cold, dead hand.
Sorry, Wordsworth, it’s a national emergency.
whatever_dc: I fear her. I fear a trap and that the trap will be sprung tonight. How can Biden show her for the ignorant manipulative power monger that she is, without apprearing to meanly “pick on the poor girl from Alaska.”
Q2:
And never shoot your friend in the face.
PrairiePossum: Well Mr. Cheney violated several tenants of firearm safety or else that moran would never have been peppered. But hey, I’m certain Deadeye Dick was caught up in the heat of a personal terror duck battle.
He shot a lawyer. He probably considered it a public service.
I hope that Sarah is down with shakethatbear.com
**NSFW**
At least she could have a job if this whole “Politics” thing does not work out.
I think its inappropriate and wasteful spending to apply lipstick before a kill shot. My preference to to wash myself in the ever so warm blood of the kill, have a deep bite into the neck piece (no bacteria) and let the blood cover my lips.
Huh, Palin is a WOMAN?? Theres no way I’m votin for her now.
i have lots of respect for hunters - at least they have a reasonable possibility of getting their protein from something other than a factory-extruded chicken-, beef-, or pork-based genetically engineer plastic and styrofoam wrapped slab. but some of the hunters around here have a really unpleasant habit of leaving the empties from their twelve pack of busch beer (one 12er per hunter it seems) strewn all over the woods. maybe if these guys thought women we’re going to start joining them in the blind, they’d tidy up a little? k, thanks, fellows - us limp-wristed, nonviolent and nondestructive hiking, nature-loving types would really appreciate it.
Hunting culture continues to go further lo-tech, much to the dismay of outfit sellers. Bowhunting seems to get more popular all the time, and of course, the crappier your truck, the higher are you up on the hunting pecking order. I imagine someday soon the primitive-fighting enthusiasts will start up with primitive hunting where you sneak up on your prey and strangle it.
Swingvoter: HI THERE FELLO, I seen you round here before. Is you really a swinger? How many teeth you has? It don’t matter, gimme a call
I have often wondered - why would you wear camouflage clothes and cover it with a bright orange vest. Particularly as deer, antelope and moose are supposedly color blind and really do not need their eyes to tell them some asshole with a gun is wondering around the woods.
You Anti-Gun Wonkette Pussies Never Cease To Amaze Me.
You have no clue how good it feels to be Out In the Wild, 20 miles from the nearest road, with your M-70 Remington sniper rifle, and put an armor-piercing .308 Win. round — from over 1000 meters way - right into the engine block of the SUV or OHV that Billy Bob Fatass road into the bush.
It’s going to be a long walk back for poor Billy Bob.
And if you’re really lucky, he didn’t bring any water.
Hey, those buzzards have to eat, too!
:::Wishful Sigh:::
That’s What The Outdoors Is All About!
Well, okay, “rode into the bush.”
Whatever.
nurple: Bowhunting actually is extremely difficult, because you have to learn how to stalk, to use cover, and to use the bow effectively.
Any asshole can pop a deer with a rifle. Bowhunting requires much more skill.
Unless, of course, you’re like me, and use a compound and a broadhead on a dairy cow.
MOOOOOO!
If she’s so worthless and stupid, why do you folks salivate at the sound of her name? Let her destroy herself if she’s such a moron. Afraid of her? Maybe she’ll just offer you some Moose stew. That would be hospitality.