SUSPEND THIS  6:20 pm September 25, 2008

by Ken Layne

TROPICAL STORMS TO FINISH OFF WALL ST., CONGRESS, WHITE HOUSE, ETC. “Tropical Storm Kyle formed in the Atlantic, while a system farther north took aim at Washington, New York and other cities along the U.S. East Coast, forecasters said.” [Bloomberg]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 36 comments }

tonashideska September 25, 2008 at 6:19 pm

Insert enema joke here.

Delicious September 25, 2008 at 6:23 pm

They will all be washed away except for Sen. Jim Bunning, who will then become King of teh Krazees.

Texan Bulldoggette September 25, 2008 at 6:24 pm

Oh thank God, come on Kyle. Damn, now Walnuts will demand a debate from the sodden remains of WA DC where he will raise a megaphone & yell “Tear down this wall, Mr. Gorbachev.”

On the other hand, maybe Bush will actually be able to help the blacks in DC since he kind of lives next to them.

tunamelt September 25, 2008 at 6:24 pm

The wrath of God?

shortsshortsshorts September 25, 2008 at 6:25 pm

That storm looks MEAN.

WhatTheHeck September 25, 2008 at 6:26 pm

What? God didn’t find any gay people in Galverson?

El Bombastico September 25, 2008 at 6:28 pm

Kyle? Jesus Christ, are we down to the pussy names for these storms? “Oooh, I lost my house to Hurricane Caitlin. Oooh, look out, here comes Tropical Depression Madison!”

V572625694 September 25, 2008 at 6:29 pm

“On the other hand, maybe Bush will actually be able to help the blacks in DC since he kind of lives next to them.” That’s a good one,[re=108747]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]! Just like he helped all those Blacks in Texas by executing ‘em.

Texan Bulldoggette September 25, 2008 at 6:30 pm

No offense, Wonkette overlords, but has Hopey done anything today worth posting? (I’m sure he made a drug run or kicked some old Jewish woman’s cane out from under her.) I’m kind of tired of looking at Walnuts & Bible Spice.

Aurelio September 25, 2008 at 6:35 pm

“Kyle” sounds like the name of a porno actor. In fact, “Kyle Storm” would be a pretty good screen name. And Sarah could name her next kid, “Tropic.”

Godot September 25, 2008 at 6:36 pm

[re=108760]El Bombastico[/re]: Hurricane Geoffrey is brewin’ in the Gulf.

facehead September 25, 2008 at 6:40 pm

“There is a 100 percent chance that heavy rain will soak the New York City area tonight and tomorrow, according to the National Weather Service.”

I’ve never seen a 100 percent prediction by the meteorologists before.

Since when does Wonkette do the weather?
This storm doesn’t seem like a big deal, am I missing something? Is Ken Layne trolling for an Al Roker joke?

AngryBlakGuy September 25, 2008 at 6:41 pm

…uh-oh, I smell another excuse to postpone the debates!

WALNUTS!: “See what had happened is Sara is scared of thunder so she wont be able to come out to play!”

S.Luggo September 25, 2008 at 6:41 pm

[re=108763]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: The only thing that Barry could do today to make himself as newswothy as McCain is set to fire to an orphan.

azw88 September 25, 2008 at 6:42 pm

[re=108771]Aurelio[/re]:George Carlin said it all…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZoJWZ02-7Y

slappypaddy September 25, 2008 at 6:42 pm

[re=108763]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: nope. he’s far too serious and sober a fellow to have any entertainment value compared to our gallant captain jumpin jack and his loyal barbie vapid. drug runs and cane-kickin ain’t gonna hack it, he’s gonna hafta find himself somethin worth payin attention to and do it. any suggestions?

TeddyS September 25, 2008 at 6:42 pm

Senator McCain today suspended all campaigning and debates until the weather gets better.

The Gordo September 25, 2008 at 6:42 pm

I will gladly become a devout christian/catholic/jew/muslim/scientologist/moonie/whatever/all-of-the-above if this storm will turn into a Category 11 hurricane and just pound the shit out of those bastards in DC.

PoliTacky September 25, 2008 at 6:43 pm

Is that a picture of Zeus? He’s… fluffier than I imagined. Anyway, whatever it is, can I pray to it or beg it to throw lightning bolts at something and/or someone in particular?

AnnieGetYourFun September 25, 2008 at 6:52 pm

[re=108760]El Bombastico[/re]: Has there ever been a Hurricane Bruno? If not, now is the time.

tunamelt September 25, 2008 at 7:00 pm

Oh, God, the comments, the comments–the horror, the horror.

Texan Bulldoggette September 25, 2008 at 7:00 pm

[re=108781]slappypaddy[/re]: I like [re=108777]S.Luggo[/re]: suggestion of setting an orphan on fire. Yeah, I know Hopey’s too serious and, errr….smart to get in the way of Walnuts’ self-aggrandizing train wreck of a news cycle. But other than admitting he’s the love child of Ronald Reagan & Diana Ross, likes to inhale farts or going on live teevee to announce he’s discovered Big Foot & the Yettie, I’m not sure how he breaks into the news cycle. Bummer….

WagTehGod September 25, 2008 at 7:07 pm

If the entire Eastern seaboard goes under water, do I still have to pay my mortgage?

facehead September 25, 2008 at 7:13 pm

[re=108797]tunamelt[/re]: Yeah, some of the comments are off the hook. One guy says that Obama and all the democrats are to blame for the financial crisis. He didn’t care to give a link to his dissertation defending this amazing thesis, however.

obfuscator September 25, 2008 at 7:17 pm

[re=108806]facehead[/re]: He’s BLACK, duh!

WhatTheHeck September 25, 2008 at 7:26 pm

I hope these storms dump Wall Street with fury, washing away the crap therein.

HomoPolitico September 25, 2008 at 7:33 pm

[re=108783]The Gordo[/re]: I feel compelled to remind you that plenty of decent people actually live in DC (most of my family among them).

Point of fact, its the fucktard douchesacks from the 50 states who come to town, smell it up, fuck the pages, and give the whole city a bad name (well, them and the murders). Well, them and the murders. You see, DC doesnt even get a vote in congress, so you cant really blame ANY of this shit on actual Washingtonains.

DC STATEHOOD FOR THE WIN!!!11!!1!!!

Rush September 25, 2008 at 7:34 pm

The strongest winds have now started to move northward,” said Carrie McCabe, a meteorologist with AccuWeather in State College, Pennsylvania.

Have Limbaugh and Hannity moved to Canada??

Lionel Hutz Esq. September 25, 2008 at 7:41 pm

Strange. Whenever there are large gathering of Republicans…., Mother Nature attacks our country.

If I was Pat Robinson, this would convince me that all Republicans are gay.

[re=108760]El Bombastico[/re]: I agree. All hurricanes should be named after New Orleans whores. You would remember who blew you then.

Terry September 25, 2008 at 7:44 pm

[re=108747]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]:
“On the other hand, maybe Bush will actually be able to help the blacks in DC since he kind of lives next to them.”

Yeah, Old Crazy Eyes, excuse me, the First Lady even made a trip to U Street to pretend for the cameras that she shopped there.

shortsshortsshorts September 25, 2008 at 7:45 pm

[re=108797]tunamelt[/re]: This one is my absolute favorite:
” probama in paradise September 25th, 2008 6:45 pm ET

This man is so smart, credible and level headed. Why is there even a margin in the polls?

Hang in there, ‘Bama–we got your back! And you got my vote!”
____________________________
Margin in the polls? What the fuck would there be if there WASN’T a margin in a poll? What the fuck would you call that: maybe we can call it “chester,” or “sally?”

The Gordo September 25, 2008 at 7:49 pm

[re=108818]HomoPolitico[/re]: Point taken sir. Maybe we just should ship the whole government to Haiti and let nature take it’s course then?

102415 September 25, 2008 at 7:49 pm

I love all the moving thingees and blingees warnings. I’ve closed the windows and will walk the dog a early. Thank you. The good news is that the debates and campaigns and ads have all been cancelled and that the blackwitchdoctorman from Kenya has rescinded his anti-witchcraft prayer and now Sarah can’t go near any kind of water. No??? Shit. Well then, maybe McCain’s face will explode which will be more entertaining than watching my money disappear.

jagorev September 25, 2008 at 8:56 pm

You bumpkins are just jealous because we in the DC-Philly-NY corridor have high-speed intercity rail.

tonashideska September 25, 2008 at 9:31 pm

[re=108927]jagorev[/re]: Realizing of course, that the local trains in Tokyo are faster.

Scooter September 25, 2008 at 10:30 pm

God is washing Wall Street’s mouth out with soap.

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