Wonkette
- OH, UH …. “Chinese regulators have told domestic banks to stop interbank lending to U.S. financial institutions to prevent possible losses during the financial crisis.” [REUTERS]
OUR FLOURISHING ECONOMY
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You pay rent now!!!
Dude, that news is soooo 5 hours ago.
So who cares, those sorry rice eaters already own trillions of dollars in US debt through their ownership of us treasury bonds. Good luck getting out of that hosing Mr. Lee (or Li or whatever)
At least we know they’ll still have cash to buy Alaska from us while we’re waiting in teh bread linez.
No Tickey, No Laundry!
Dammit. They’re onto us. Well who’s gonna buy our useless crap, now?
It’s not that they want US America to fail (yet) it’s just they need the money closer to home.
China’s financial system is not lock sorid either (see Shanghai market.) They have plenty of potentially bad real estate loans to contend with as well and need the gleenbacks too.
(Hey, as an Asian born in Canada City I can makee fun! Right? Right?)
Ross Perot voice:
“Ya hear that really loud flushin’ sound?”
Oooh, looks like no happy ending for you, America….
太空所!!!
有的星球!!!
塞盡我的屁股!!!!
太空所有的?!?!?
星球塞尽我的屁股!!!!
Mumble Softly: i’m not chinese!!!
i work with a japanese rady who not only switches her “l”s and “r”s when speaking but she arso does it in writing…it’s so funny that it seems pranned but it’s not. she’s a vely weild rady!
We should cancel all purchase orders from their manufacturing facilities to prevent them making any money.
Oh shit does this mean more awesomeness Kung Foo films?
We need to feed these execs to Wu’s pigs.
Why not avoid the Chinese and their bullshit worries about pfft, “possible losses” and just tap Ms Bud for the bailout ducketts? She can make a direct appeal to her Romulan overlords and viola!- crisis solved!
BTW, it’s not like news was an ancient Chinese secret huh.
Tonight’s foreign policy segment of Katie’s Sarah Palin interview is not likely to help things:
http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=4478156n
It’s not only worse than you imagine, it’s worse than you can imagine.
NewSpence: Win. Right out the gate. Win.
ManchuCandidate: As one born in Korea now living in America, I approve. I have high hopes for the upcoming erection.
We’ve been buying their cheap crap for years, now it’s time for them to buy ours.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: That’s just it, NOW we get to make their useless crap! I’ve got 1,000 lead spatulas going to 尽我的屁股, 500 cabbage patch dolls (made from real cabbage!) going to 太空所有的星球塞尽我的屁股, and 6,000 clappers (each autographed by Abe Lincoln!) going to 太空所有的星球塞盡我的屁股.
ManchuCandidate: Yeah, but who are we gonna go to for the $700 billion? The sucking sound is the dollar devaluing. I bet the Chinese won’t cry too much over that.
NewSpence: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
You know the difference between China pwning us and Sarah Palin?
LIPSTICK bitches.
Gopherit v2.0:
I hope you have a wheelbarrow to pay for next week’s groceries.
StrangelyBrown: OMG. She has foreign policy experience because Putin has to fly through Alaskan air space when he goes to DC? Seriously? That’s almost better than “I can see Russia”!
StrangelyBrown: as one of the comments on the cbs page said, it seems like a tina fey snl skit! OMG!!!!!!!!!! this simply can’t happen!!! and kudos to katie for pressing on the question in seemingly disbelief!
facehead: Excellent! So there will be employment for us all, in this new United Socialized States of the Americas? Or should I continue hoarding cardboard boxes from the copy room?
Gopherit v2.0: They will cry louder than when the Japanese converted their entire country into some horrific medical experiment torture chamber. If the dollar deflates, we will get off with paying 10 cents on the dollar for all that debt we owe to the Chinese. Hyper inflation is the hail mary that will save us and destroy the chinese and the rest of the money lenders we have tricked into buying our bonds.
mwaaaaa
mwaaaaaaaa
mwaaaaaaaaa ha ha ha ha ha ha
NewSpence: Still laughing. Fucking hilarious.
“Chinese regulators have told domestic banks….”
They have regulators that tell their banks what to do? Don’t they know that violates free market principles?
Mumble Softly: That was the plan all along… we’re tricksy bastards.
Mumble Softly: the dollars will still be dollars… they will just only BUY ten cents of shitty Chinese toys.
StrangelyBrown: I said three weeks ago that Katie Couric would be the one to scalp Bible Spice. Set a Mean Girl to take down a Mean Girl.
It’s getting harder to find anything funny when my fingernails are digging into my palms like this…
StrangelyBrown: I like how she was trying to go for the big word “caricature” & she couldn’t quite pull off a word with that many syllables!
Well, General Tso, you may be a blood thirsty tyrant but you make a delectable chicken.
StrangelyBrown: Putin has to fly over Alaska to get to the US. Don’t you asshats get it? HE HAS TO FLY OVER ALASKA! She’s like fucking Kissinger or something.
StrangelyBrown: I need to stop watching Sarah Palin at work because people give me funny looks when I start yelling at my screen.
Shouldn’t the Chinese government said that about 2 weeks ago? Basically, the Chinese government are slower to react than even the US Congress.
Or perhaps the press release guy drank some of their milk, which is slowly killing everything in China, apparently.
Hairy Reed: Just tell them you’re checking your 401K balance.
Uncle Al: maybe they should move some of those milk regulators to their milk industry (and to pet food, children’s toys, etc. etc. etc.)
If I may just reiterate:
Fuck, we’re so fucking fucked.
could CBSNews’ website suck any harder? Is it just me?
NewSpence: WIN.
Tawmn: in other words, quit buying anything?
Uncle Al: Excellent Point. We should buy all our debt back from them before we get into some crazy socialist economic fiasco.
StrangelyBrown: Good Christ, that was idiotic! I love all the looks on Katies face as she does these interviews. It’s almost as if she can’t believe what’s coming straight from the moose’s mouth.
Vanity Smurf: Katie has chops. She laid the wood to Bush the First back in the day.
capitol hillbilly: Well, except for their delicious food…
Tawmn: Yes, Bible Spice has definitely managed to flummox Charlie & Katie with her stupendous stupidity. I seriously don’t think they’ve interviewed anyone like her since they were on the local beat in their early years & had to interview the lady who’s bruised toenail had the shape of the Virgin Mary on it.
Again with the news from China. Is Wonkette being produced by Xinhua News or something?
WagTehGod:
Shhh, ancient Chinese secret.
WagTehGod: CCTV
THE most accurate name in journalism… in that it is in fact Chinese central television.
At least their honest.
StrangelyBrown: OH DEAR.
I tried, honestly.
I just heard her response to the first question, and had to stop.
Looks like America’s got their first black president…
I mean, we KNEW China would get us in the end. Just not so damn SOON. HahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Also, the comments on this thread are HILARIOUS.
What’s to worry? Thanks to the bailout, Wall Street will get their hands on plenty of money before the dollar tanks. Its just the rest of us who are screwed. And that’s not news. Stop being alarmist!
Serolf Divad: so we is, we is, painfully fist-fucked by a sandpaper glove, no lube… oh jeezuss mary all the sweet green icing melting down… so why’s peoples talkin about bible spice on this line, i doan get it, is she gonna squint all the way past siberia into manchuria, make us some of that moose-shootin magic, save our so sorry and deeply-hocked red white and blew asses?
I gotta go stake out my spot on The Big Rock Candy Mountain.