WASHINGTON, DC, 07:35 PM, WED NOVEMBER 25 | Advertise on Wonkette | tips@wonkette.com | SUBMIT A TIP | RSS
FINALLY SOMEONE ASKS

IMPORTANT NEW AP REPORT: “UNITED NATIONS - Michael Douglas had to field questions Wednesday about the financial turmoil shaking world markets from reporters recalling his role in the 1987 film ‘Wall Street.’” Numerous young I-bankers were seen masturbating to his responses. Wait. Why the hell is Michael Douglas at the United Nations? [AP]


6:28 PM on Wed September 24 2008
By Jim Newell
681 Views

  1. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 6:31 pm, September 24th, 2008

    Why the hell was Sarah Palin at the United Nations?

  2. ManchuCandidate says at 6:31 pm, September 24th, 2008

    Just wait till the newsies ask him about rabbit recipes during the next food crisis because of his experiences in “Fatal Attraction.”

  3. shortsshortsshorts says at 6:31 pm, September 24th, 2008

    Well Arnold played a Kindergarten cop so we should bring him to the teacher’s union for some serious questioning on his single-handedly destroying our state system.

  4. Cogito Ergo Bibo says at 6:32 pm, September 24th, 2008

    But the likening to Gekko did not end there, with a reporter asking: “Are you saying, Gordon, that greed is not good?”

    “I’m not saying that,” Douglas replied. “And my name is not Gordon. He’s a character I played 20 years ago.”

    That is AWESOME. HA!

  5. Texan Bulldoggette says at 6:33 pm, September 24th, 2008

    Did Walnuts get Michael to replace him on the ticket? Otherwise, I can’t imagine why they would be asking him these types of questions. Of course since Walnuts & Bible Spice aren’t speaking to the press, the AP has resorted to yelling questions at pretty much anyone these days.

  6. Larry Fine says at 6:33 pm, September 24th, 2008

    Michael Douglas is invited to the U.N. because World leaders are hoping to make goo-goo eyes with Catherine Zeta-Jones.

  7. slavojzizek says at 6:33 pm, September 24th, 2008

    I’m more worried about that guy from ‘Falling Down’. I bet he’s going psycho this week.

  8. Many business majors didn’t get that his character wasn’t the hero.

  9. NotLaughing says at 6:37 pm, September 24th, 2008

    Jesus Christ

  10. shortsshortsshorts says at 6:37 pm, September 24th, 2008

    Sharon Stone should take questions so she can seduce everyone and stuff.

  11. NotLaughing says at 6:37 pm, September 24th, 2008

    Lionel Hutz Esq.: She couldn’t see it from her house.

  12. Wait wait wait. So, an actor is willing to do a press conference but Mcnuggets can only go like 11 minutes. Where’s the gipper when you need him, that mofo could cancel this debate in style and go up 10 points in the polls

  13. ManchuCandidate says at 6:39 pm, September 24th, 2008

    facehead:
    Same reaction to Glen Gary Glenn Ross.

  14. sanantonerose says at 6:39 pm, September 24th, 2008

    Larry Fine: She’s very appealing, don’t you think?

    (Sorry, I just watched Breach on the movie channel.)

  15. sanantonerose says at 6:42 pm, September 24th, 2008

    ManchuCandidate: WILL YOU GO TO LUNCH

  16. SayItWithWookies says at 6:44 pm, September 24th, 2008

    When it comes to reporters who can’t distinguish movies from reality, I’m in favor of giving them $1000 to be sterilized. And lobotomized. Then they can do Tucker Bounds’ job.

  17. Gopherit v2.0 says at 6:44 pm, September 24th, 2008

    After seeing “The American President” I can honestly say Michael Douglas can do a better job of faking being presidential than either Dubya or Walnuts!

  18. EVERYTHING IS PRETEND

  19. randomsausage says at 6:47 pm, September 24th, 2008

    Cogito Ergo Bibo: stupid reporter should have asked him what President Andrew Shepherd would do in the face of global economic melt down!

    My guess is, play tonsil-tennis with Annette Bening

  20. Cogito Ergo Bibo says at 6:47 pm, September 24th, 2008

    Oh, crap. Rumor is that WALNUTS! wants to move the prez debates to next Thursday and bump the VP debates scheduled for that night. Why is he trying to keep Bible Spice from her adoring fans? Seriously, that can’t be true, can it? I mean, it’s just too blatant, right? Right?

    Gone drinkin’.

  21. bitchincamaro says at 6:48 pm, September 24th, 2008

    Hey Michael. Bono called. He wants his 15 minutes back.

  22. It is legitimate for the press to ask him serious questions, considering his former position as drug czar.

  23. Cogito Ergo Bibo: Ugh, that’s so awful and manipulative I could believe it.

  24. Well, using what I call the Palin Standard, his role as a Wall Street greed-meister makes Douglas the next Secty of the Treasury.

  25. NRO’s review of Oliver Stone’s Wall Street:

    A heart breaking tragedy about a well-to-do quirky investment banker making the mistake of trusting his personally groomed but disloyal rags to riches underling who betrays him because he hates money and America. The unpatriotic cinematography is reminiscent of Stalin’s early propogranda films, and the directing is simply not autocratic enough to be convincing.

    One Whore Diamond (mostly for Daryl Hannah’s Ass)

  26. NotLaughing says at 7:05 pm, September 24th, 2008

    la la la la la

  27. randomsausage says at 7:07 pm, September 24th, 2008

    Meanwhile, the Japanese ambassador to UN accused Douglas thus: You Turned The Rain Black!

  28. NotLaughing says at 7:16 pm, September 24th, 2008

    Glenn Beck is talking about Little House on the Prairie

  29. sanantonerose: HERE’S A PACK OF GUM, LET ME SHOW YOU HOW TO CHEW IT…

  30. NotLaughing says at 7:22 pm, September 24th, 2008

    Does Orrin Hatch use botox?

  31. NotLaughing says at 7:24 pm, September 24th, 2008

    Gee I haven’t seen Maxine in a long time.

    She’s looking good. Seems as crazy as ever.

  32. sanantonerose: I find that many Welsh women are very pretty.

  33. Harold_Ignoramis says at 7:48 pm, September 24th, 2008

    They called him Gordon. LMAO!

  34. I hope they don’t ask Johnny Depp where the Chocolate Factory is…

  35. SisterTruth says at 8:19 pm, September 24th, 2008

    If this is how it’s going to be, just let Morgan Freeman be President of the United States and God, and we can put all of this drama behind us.

  36. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 9:11 pm, September 24th, 2008

    Cogito Ergo Bibo: tunamelt: Apparently that is true. Sarah Palin is ready to step in as President on a seconds notice, but they still haven’t been able to get her ready for a debate.

  37. ladymacbeth says at 9:52 pm, September 24th, 2008

    Kittens: actually, i kinda hope they do.

  38. Lascauxcaveman says at 9:55 pm, September 24th, 2008

    Lionel Hutz Esq.: Well, having a friendly argument w/Joe Biden is much more challenging than leading the free world, don’cha known.

  39. NotLaughing says at 12:31 am, September 25th, 2008
  40. slavojzizek: Why would a guy from the defense industry be let go in this climate?

Leave a Reply