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Oh how fantastic, exactly what we wanted to hear, Ralph Nader weaseled his way onto the Florida ballot! WE ARE SO HAPPY FOR RALPH NADER, WHO HAS JUST MADE THE FLORIDA BALLOT. The heroic party that picked him up is the Ecology Party, which must be like the secret “art film wing” of the much larger Republican Party.
9:36 PM
on Wed September 17 2008
By
Jim Newell
2393 Views
Wonkette
Ha! I just got that campaign email and came over here to do a post — anything to prevent another talking-to-birds-about-bear-suits art film. But you’ve already done it, so to hell with you.
Nader’s running mate is a cartoon mouse?
Don’t worry. As soon as the public finds out that he speaks Arabic he’ll lose all of the conservative votes.
I repeat from an earlier post:
AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Oh yeah, the Ecology Party. Um — aren’t they the ones who got whupped by the Home Ec party in the now-fabled Class President race of 1996?
I just got cold sweats and horrendous acid flashbacks of being eaten alive by ravenous butterfly ballots, ripping through my hanging chads
Ralph Nader + Alberto Gonzalez, wow.
…doesn’t this guy have a career, family or anything else worth while, that he could be doing other than being an annoying turdlet?!
Great! This on the day we see poll numbers showing McCain & Obama tied in Florida. Best news I’ve had all day!
tonashideska: Why not vote for a cartoon character? The Republicans are running Mister Magoo/Betty Boop, and the Democrats are running Skinny Guy From Fat Albert/Scrooge McDuck
You’d think it’d be more difficult for me to hate such a principled man, one who stands for so many of the things I believe in. And yet, somehow, Nader just makes it easy.
mattbolt: I’m pretty sure Scrooge McDuck could run HP. Just sayin’
Fucking Nader.
Those that forget about history are doomed to be fucked over by it AGAIN…
I don’t think anyone needs to be hatin’ on Nader. Anyone who votes for him in Florida will be voting for him because they don’t want to vote for either a Democrat or a Republican. Nader votes are NOT lost Democratic votes.
If Obama’s really bothered about it, he’d campaign saying “Nader has no chance to win in Florida. If you like Nader, give your vote to me instead, as I’ve got better ecology policies and I could actually win”. It works for the Lib Dems in the UK.
If Nader (or any 3rd party) actually wants to make a difference, they should try and win some Congressional seats and develop a base from there.
It’s hard for me to respect Nader this time around when he seems to be just running so HE can run. I mean, all this stuff about the need for a viable third party and all is great, but why couldn’t he just endorse the Greens? Why was he even running if he didn’t have a party to back him? It’s not like the Ecology Party is going to get 5% of the vote where the Greens couldn’t…especially since he’s cutting into the Greens potential voeters.
I didn’t realize how much Hope looked like Weird Harold from the Cosby Kids until I just googled it.
http://theblacksentinel.files.wordpress.com/2008/01/fat_albert.jpg
Behold, our chocolate savior on the far right, chooming some pakolo with Tut, Gramps, the Choom Gang, and Ray right before they go play hoop. L A T E R S
Oh right, Nader sucks.
die Nader, die.
Nader is for the birds.
(see what I did there!!!!! hahahahahha!!!!!)
Nader….Jeeez, just another excuse for FL to somehow foul up another election. I’m sure they could have managed totally on their own, but Ralphie just gave them a big hand!
iwillsavethispatient: you mistake us for a thinking electorate that could might differentiate b/t ’she has problems JUST like me’ and ’steering the world’s largest economy thru an historical structural shift’.
ladymacbeth: i meant HISTORIC structural shift.
i weep for myself and my country
mattbolt: I may not understand those cuss words, young man, but you’re still getting your mouth washed out with soap.
I was totally going to vote Obama, but Cardozo the talking parrot is just so gosh darn cute!
But hey, speaking of FL & Cubans & brown people, Walnuts just told a Miami radio station (translated in Spanish) that the Prime Minister of Spain might be one of America’s enemies. Seems like he confused Spain (in Europe) with the drug dealers of Latin America. Or, scarier still, he didn’t even know who Zapatero was. Of course all the brown & yellow people look alike, but still…should we be declaring war with a country on every continent at this point???
http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/
Matt Gonzalez is The One. Ran a tight race against Motor Boy clone Gavin Newsom in SF in 2003 until Uncle Bill skidded into town on a wave of neoliberal nostalgia and designer condoms and teased millions of dollars out of financier-class Democrats. Plus he kind of looks like a young Armand Assante. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matt_Gonzalez
Once again, Obama actually performs BETTER with third party candidates. Observe the results of that poll from tonight that showed the race tied:
http://www.pollster.com/blogs/cnntime_fl_in_nc_oh_wi_91416.php
With Nader and Barr thrown in, he’s four points ahead in Florida.
ladymacbeth: Yeah, but what I’m saying is that the people who vote for Nader wouldn’t have voted for either Obama or McCain even if Nader was not on the ballot. They’d have just dribbled into the Diebold or whatever.
For every Floridian who carefully weighs the policy of the candidates against current domestic and international threats and then after months of research ends up strolling into the poll booth with a clear mind and casts their ballot having confidently chosen Nader, there will be 1,000 other yokels who vote Obama because a pamphlet told them to, and 1,000 other yokels who vote McCain because they hate black people. In the end, it’s a wash.
Was watching CNN when they rolled out the poll results (couldn’t find link, sorry) and they were all excited about how when Nader and Barr are factored in, McCain’s DOWN four points in FL.
Imagine if the Nader vote threw the election to Obama. Ha ha. Retardiculous! (And not gonna happen, inshallah)
You can put a bear costume on Nader, and it’s still Nader.
Ralph, Nadir.
Vouks: Are Nader and Barr are splitting the racist vote?
Oh, relax. First, Nader hasn’t done squat in any election he’s run in except for 2000. And second, Hopey isn’t Gore. If anyone deserves the blame for losing the 2000 election, it’s Al Gore. He ran on a legacy of eight years of prosperity, advancement of human rights throughout the world, the increasing safety of nuclear arms in ex-USSR states, turning a deficit into a consistent and growing surplus, controlling and ultimately ending the aggression and genocide of Slobodan Milosevic (who was by far a greater danger to civilization than Saddam Hussein would ever be), bringing Israel and the Palestinians closer to living peacefully than anyone has before or since, cutting welfare rolls, cutting Newt Gingrich’s balls off, and — and — oh, yeah — bringing peace to fucking Northern Ireland — at which point he should’ve ascended to heaven on a flaming chariot — all this while jogging to McDonald’s for Big Macs, getting more head in four years than bonobos do their whole lives, and fending off Ken Starr, Rush Limbaugh, Roger Ailes and several battallions of flying monkeys.
And what did Gore do? He fucking lost. He should’ve won with 85 percent of the vote — and yet when Nader put forth the idea that there was no difference between the Democrats and the Republicans, and Dubya argued that being folksy and likeable and believing in Jesus was qualification enough for the highest office in the land, what did Gore do? He hid from every aspect of the Clinton/Gore administration for fear of a stain on a blue dress. Ralph Nader didn’t cost Al Gore the 2000 election — Al Gore did.
And Obama’s no fool, and Nader’s argument that there’s no difference between the Dems and the Republicans is easily refuted: under which half of the last sixteen years did you do better, and under which half did you do worse? Thanks to Dubya and Rove and Cheney, the people sitting on the fence about that question is a much thinner slice than it was eight years ago.
So don’t worry about Nader — he’s already assured himself that he’s out of the race. And running for the Home Ec party isn’t gonna help him. This is not 2000.
iwillsavethispatient: yes, i know. but i still weep for my country.
which is probably racist somehow.
I’m going to actually kill anyone in Florida that votes for Nader. Seriously. I’m going to hack the machines, and print out a list of addresses, and just start murdering. Ken, I’ll be sure to send you pics!
Ken Layne: I want a bonus, then.
Meh…I ain’t worried. Nader will steal most of his votes from McCain. I hear you, “Are you HIGH, RubberSoul? What Republican would vote for a lefty like Nader?”. But hear me out: The Florida chapter of Hillz’ Haterz would likely cast a protest vote for McCain with just a two-man ballot. But with Nader on the ballot, lots of them may decide to cast their protest vote for someone on the left.
After 2000, anybody who is remotely interested in Hopey winning (and/or McCain losing) will cast their vote for Obama, in Florida or anywhere else. Except maybe Utah.
I fully expect Obama to start holding fundraisers for Barr.
Just when I thought today couldn’t get any worse…
Skull fuck that bitch! When will that menace throw another clot and lose the ability to cogitate over (or speak about) running in a presidential election. Jeezus weeping Christ, run for fucking Congress, or a water district, and go away.
My inner two-year-old is throwing a full-on temper tantrum — screaming, kicking, throwing nearby objects, rolling on the floor, tears, etc. Sigh. It is a good thing I have learned to repress these “childish” impulses.
Thank jeebus for cheap wine. I like seat-belts, but I still hate Nader (viva 2000!).
What sucks is that Matt Gonzalez is such a reasonable guy.
is it bad to wish that nader gets hit by the same bus i’ve long been wishing in walnuts’ direction?
Ken Layne: Hell is soon where we shall live if Ralph once again puts Florida in the toilet for the Demrats.
But that statement is a naive. The Bush economic/Mid-East War fuck ups will extend well past this election. Smug McPalin should have to deal with that.
Meantime, I shall be searching for the Big Rock Candy Mountain. All aboard.
— S.
Unsafe for the WhiteHouse in any year
AngryBlakGuy: …doesn’t this guy have a career, family or anything else worth while, that he could be doing?
Alas, no, angry guy. I worked for him back in the 1970s and he has a pretty big operation, employed maybe 30 people, and he lived in a rooming house. I doubt that’s changed. Also we had an office “party” once, and not only was there no alcohol, there was no soda (bad for teeth), and somebody told me he didn’t even put ice in his water because that raised your risk of heart disease or something.
Not a fun guy. Has anyone ever heard him laugh?
I wish that I had tried acid as a kid. Because I don’t think I can stand much more of this trippin’ crazy-shit.
Who’s up next on the Florida ballot? Is Generalissimo Franco still dead???
The lefty idealist intellectual in me thinks Nader would make a hella president (or Kuchinich, for that matter). Just to shake things up and veto the shit out of all the corporate welfare that comes to his desk, while signing all environmentally progressive stuff without even reading it.
But like anyone who can add up to 270, I know voting for him is just a dodge to avoid the responsibility of voting for the better of two imperfect choices, the one which might actually win and possibly, maybe, save our shit.
Uncle Al: So you’re saying is he really needs to get laid?
Uncle Al: Frontline (or maybe it was Bill Moyers) did a two-hour documentary on him within the past year, from which I got the impression that he came out of the womb dedicated to consumer advocacy. Which must have made him a really fun child in the Thalidomide era.
This is not the Year 2000. Nader won’t make a difference.
This is not the Year 2000. Florida won’t have the deciding electoral votes.
This is not the Year 2000. The R is the one everybody thinks just makes shit up.
Everybody relax. And then tell me what to do with all these dried beans and bottled water I’ve had in the basement since New Year’s eve.
Gore’s 2000 problem = Lieberman, not Nader.
SayItWithWookies: You know what else? Al Gore ran a shitty campaign and putting that gasbag Lieberman on the ticket didn’t help, it hurt and that took votes away. Regardless of all of that, Gore pretty much f’ed himself and even had the nerve to throw in the towel. Good riddance.
I don’t know how Nader even got as far as he did. He was a joke when I was 7 years old, hated the very sight of him. A real man would have quit the race–he had zero chance to do shit. But then again he did do something. He helped put George W. Bush in office so fuck him.
Lascauxcaveman: I can understand a bit of that but Nader was and will always be the wrong guy.
Can we abort him now? I mean, like, how late does late-term count?
According to El Pais (the Spanish NYTimes) McCain would continue the Bush strategy of not meeting or speaking with Zapatero, the Spanish Prime Minister, because he fulfilled his campaign promise to pull troops out of Iraq. The former PM Aznar lost the election to Zapatero due in large part to his support of W. and the war in Iraq. During the run up to the war, when W. was scrounging for allies all he had was the three musketeers: W., Blair, and Aznar supporting the invasion.
Zapatero hasn’t looked back, shortly after he won Spain legalized gay marriage.
Is Ralph driving a Corvair these days?
Anyone can change, this might show a start.
AngryBlakGuy: “… doesn’t this guy [Nader] have a career, family or anything else worth while …”
Yes. He has a career. It’s called, “no compromise in terms of public welfare or safety”.
In state legislation I once worked for an acolyte of Ralph’s. Being a bridge player, my instinct was to ruff (suck in) the opponent. Too slow. Not enough head butting. Too suggestive of compromise. I didn’t last long.
“The Charge of the Light Brigade”
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.
Not me. I’ll take the subway, Ralph.
zoink: What am I, chopped liver? Signed John Howard, former PM of Australia.
I assume Ross Perot was unavailable. I like his charts.
zoink: McCain didn’t mean anything against the Spanish president — he thought the reporter was talking about Emiliano Zapata, who McCain’s still angry at for siding with Pancho Villa.
I agree with Rubber Soul. The more white guys on the ballot the better. Barry gets all the black votes, most of the brown votes, and a fair sprinkling of us white guys who secretly envy the basketball skills and larger penis size (yes, it’s true. this is a measurable, folks)of the Negro male.
Bob Barr and Ralph Nader provide viable alternatives for those who just can’t bring themselves to cross the race/gender barrier in a Presidential election. And Bob Barr has Texas locked up.
A special shout out to SayitwithWookies for the detailed analysis of why Al Gore lost the election. (summary: he was a big pussy) I come for the snark, but appreciate an intelligent comment now and again.
I admire his total hellbent approach. He’s really the first consumer advocate. He was persistent. He harangued when nobody wanted haranguing. He wants to be recognized for the work he’s done, and he’s old. He’s annoying. He speaks Arabic (what an asset!). Hey Ladies!
Hey, I’m just sayin’.
in what bizarre way will they squeeze his name on the ballot this time?
instead of punching out chads, they’ll use crayon markers.
or they’ll use chairs; when the music stops you sit down in a chair marked white, dark, or tan.
zoink: This is the funniest thing I’ve read all day. I live and work in Madrid and everyone here is shitting a brick that McCain might be given the golden ticket. I can’t wait to tell them this and watch their heads explode (by which I mean shake slowly and sadly, tongues a-cluckin’ at those stooopid Amurkins).
zoink: Oh yes, and, by the way, did you read the interview? It sounds scary if you think the old man knows who Zapatero is. What is sounds more like to me (and quite a few journalists, I might add, which is how I found out about this on HuffPo) is that he thinks Spain is South American and Zapatero is in line with Chavez and Castro. Hahhahahahahaha.
You guys are so wrong! Nader has a real shot this year. And I know what you’re thinking: even if Nader were elected, the Republicrats in congress would never let him get his peace and social justice program. But what you’re failing to see is that the Ecology party has a real shot at gaining a majority in both houses… maybe even a filibuster-proof majority!
John McCain
remembers the Maine
which would explain
why he can’t contain
his rage at Spain
gurukalehuru: please stop - i can’t get, “the rain in spain falls mainly on the plain”, out of my head.
Is Spain the new France? I wants me some Papas Fritas de Libertad, por favor.
What the FUUUUUUUUCCCKKKKK
This eliminates any doubt I had as to whether he was working for the GOP.
Serolf Divad: I tried so hard to smile at your post.
Druk give Nader swirly! Stick head in toilet long time!
Douchebags unite! (Sorry, Harrison, but you just have it wrong about Ralph. He’ll never, ever, ever do anything worthwhile for you.)
I do tend to agree with sayitwithwookies… Al Gore and Hopey are about as similar as cars before and after seat belts were added. Hopey is the risky car without the seat belts, and Gore was a Saab with seat belts, air bags, crumple zones, safety glass, and GPS. Hopey’s cool, ya dig, and Gore is… still Al Gore.
Nader is so off the radar this time around. I understand why the hippie losers went with him rather than Bore in 2000, but only the ultrafreaks vote Nader over Obama. I’m betting Barr does better, so at worst it’s a wash.
Anyone worried about Nader this year is a friggin idiot. He and McKinney are fighting for third place. And most of the votes they will be fighting for are coming out of the Republicans/Ron Paul types, so stop worrying.
FUCK YOU NADER!
Matt Gonzalez is ultra-left-wing-fringe-party hot.
I heard they are just making movies about gay cowboys eating pudding. Gay, HISPANIC cowboys.
I will save this patient:
“If Nader (or any 3rd party) actually wants to make a difference, they should try and win some Congressional seats and develop a base from there.”
Yeah, but that would take actual WORK, so they won’t bother. Because they really don’t care if they make a difference. They just want their 15 minutes of fame every 4 years.
So is Gonzalez the name of that parrot he was boring to death? Is that legal? Is the parrot 35 years old? Human years or parrot years? Can Nader commune with all animals or just birds?
He needs to cut the shit and answer the real questions.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
SayItWithWookies: One of the most succinct assessments of Gore 2000 I have haver read. Bravo, good sir!
He’s obviously counting on the butterfly vote.
Send donations to Nader/Gonzalez 2008 Headquarters, Never-Neverglades, Florida.