NEW NUMBERS FOR YOU LOSERS  4:37 pm September 17, 2008

by Jim Newell

She's from fancy Mexican FloridaNEW STATE POLLS!: From Time/CNN, conducted Sept. 14-16, in Battleground States. Florida: Obama 48, McCain 48; Indiana: McCain 51, Obama 45; North Carolina: McCain 48, Obama 47; Ohio: Obama 49, McCain 47; Wisconsin: Obama 50, McCain 47. Residents of these states should expect to see an steady influx of lawyers over the next six weeks. Lawyers! And awful lawyers at that, shipped wholesale from outer space in toxic cartons of live rats. [The Page]

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Cogito Ergo Bibo September 17, 2008 at 4:39 pm

Why are they being so mean to those rats?

N8Ma September 17, 2008 at 4:40 pm

What about Utah?

SuperRounder September 17, 2008 at 4:42 pm

I can’t believe people aren’t smart enough to vote for the man who invented the Crackberry. I may vote for him just because he made Carly Fiorina disappear. Then again, prolly not.

Serolf Divad September 17, 2008 at 4:42 pm


The Obama supporter in Utah just convinced his sister to vote for Barry, so that now makes two!

4tehlulz September 17, 2008 at 4:44 pm

The only way to counter the GOP election lawyers is with hoard of tranny robber whores.

memzilla September 17, 2008 at 4:46 pm

As Uncle Joe Stalin said, “It’s not he who votes that counts, it’s he who counts the votes.”

SayItWithWookies September 17, 2008 at 4:47 pm

[re=99480]Serolf Divad[/re]: That’s sister-wife. And their husband won’t let them vote, so there aren’t really any.

AngryBlakGuy September 17, 2008 at 4:47 pm

…uh-oh, Obama is rebounding! Quickly MSM change the subject back to pigs and lip stick!!!

grendel September 17, 2008 at 4:49 pm

[re=99495]memzilla[/re]: Hahahaha! Like the votes are actually counted!

The D September 17, 2008 at 4:55 pm

Of course McCain’s going to win: He’s going to mollify the terrorists, satisfy religions conservatives and end pork-barrel politics in one fell swoop… by implementing Sharia.

Take that, Barack “Hussein” Obama, if that is your real name!

magic titty September 17, 2008 at 4:55 pm

We’re gonna need that Brett Favre endorsement for Hopey to close out ‘Sconsin.

ManchuCandidate September 17, 2008 at 4:57 pm

[re=99515]magic titty[/re]:
You sure about that? I think it would better for him if Brett endorsed Walnuts.

HomoPolitico September 17, 2008 at 5:02 pm

Cynthia McKinney is gonna surge late, just you wait n’ see.

Rush September 17, 2008 at 5:03 pm

What do the Scranton polls say?????

The Lucky Republican September 17, 2008 at 5:03 pm


Gopherit v2.0 September 17, 2008 at 5:04 pm

Okay. My brain broke. McCain is losing in FLORIDA?

Must prepare for gravity to reverse itself.

grendel September 17, 2008 at 5:05 pm

[re=99515]magic titty[/re]: Gonna need a pic of Hopey in a cheese hat eating a big hunk of Wisconsin cheddar

grendel September 17, 2008 at 5:07 pm

[re=99531]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: The old hebrew ladies don’t like the crazy fundie lady that much, methinks… hopefully they don’t screw up and vote for Buchanan again

Borat September 17, 2008 at 5:08 pm

I’m surprised Walnuts isn’t further ahead. When he croaks and the snowbilly takes over, this will enable the apocolypse and 2nd coming of Jeebus. What are you afraid to find out that the baby Jeebus is really black (and gay)?

NoWireHangers September 17, 2008 at 5:08 pm

I do find some comfort in these polls.

magic titty September 17, 2008 at 5:10 pm

[re=99521]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Do tell. I think the cheeseheads do everything Favre says, all as no one else from any other state gives two shits (unless they work for ESPN). So his pro-Hopey stance would only effect the cheddar electorate.

fishcanoeski September 17, 2008 at 5:11 pm

[re=99515]magic titty[/re]: Don’t worry about ‘Sconsin. If Hopey’s still ahead at this stage, that means that the “Palin Affect” here wasn’t enough to put him over. And the visible feeling on the ground here in Wisconsin is that McCain has shot his Palin wad and now its going to leak back down to where it was a month ago, with Hopey up by a considerable margin.

magic titty September 17, 2008 at 5:15 pm

[re=99541]fishcanoeski[/re]: Thanks for this. It’s all reassuring, except the part where McCain shoots his Palin wad. That isn’t country first.

Why do you hate erections?

ManchuCandidate September 17, 2008 at 5:18 pm

[re=99540]magic titty[/re]:
Brett didn’t win a lot of friends when he got all Diva and ended up on the J! E! T! S! JETS! At least that is what I gathered from the jock sniffers.

Rush September 17, 2008 at 5:19 pm

Did you guys hear that Sarah lost her political virginity today? Messy….

Sarah Palin took her first impromptu question from a reporter traveling with her campaign Wednesday while shaking hands at a restaurant called Karl’s Inn of the Barristers in Cleveland.

njdon September 17, 2008 at 5:20 pm

just explain mccain’s privatization plan to floridians to break the tie.

MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend September 17, 2008 at 5:21 pm

[re=99540]magic titty[/re]: The cheeseheads are currently pissed at Favre demanding and then leaving their cheese behind for the glamorous (and losing life) as a New York Jet.

They are currently in love/going steady with Aaron Rodgers* who, after years of being in Favre’s cold shadow, has become unstuck from the bench and has been tearing into opposing teams (even though they haven’t played anyone yet).

I am also currently in love with Rodgers, as he replaced gisele’s butt boy (tom brady) on my fantasy football team. I am also a Pack fan.

magic titty September 17, 2008 at 5:24 pm

[re=99549]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Well, no one can turn down an all expenses paid trip to the greatest football team ever assembled.

And there’s no way the GB faithful can quit Brett that easy.

OK – No more sports talk, starting…now.

njdon September 17, 2008 at 5:26 pm

[re=99554]MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend[/re]: if the jets lose again only the cheeseheads will remember favre. bring back namath.

Hooray For Anything September 17, 2008 at 5:27 pm

They should add a +5 to McCain for Ohio since it’ll be like in ’04 when they didn’t allow black people to vote

Gopherit v2.0 September 17, 2008 at 5:33 pm


In response to a question about her opinion of the AIG bailout:

“Dissapointed that taxpayers are called upon to bailout another one,” she said. “Certainly AIG though with the construction bonds that they’re holding and with the insurance that they are holding very, very impactful to Americans so you know the shot that has been called by the Feds its understandable but very, very disappointing that taxpayers are called upon for another one.”

Vice President Palin. Just try saying it without urping your lunch into your mouth. You can’t do it.

MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend September 17, 2008 at 5:41 pm

[re=99564]njdon[/re]: We are all very disappointed in Favre. He should have stayed retired. Ugh. As I saw on some random fantasy football site recently, ho needs to sit his ass down.

Back on topic: [re=99574]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: And sadly, that was her canned response…I’m sure she’ll do just gangbusters on Hannity tonight. She’ll knock those softballs out of the f*ckin’ park!

tennessee Jed clampett September 17, 2008 at 5:44 pm

[re=99565]Hooray For Anything[/re]: ohio has a democratic governor now. ken blackwell has been banished.

dano September 17, 2008 at 6:02 pm

Fuck! I hadn’t realized N.C. had tightened up like that. We’re usually a lost cause for Democrats during Presidential runs ( what with all the hopeless dipshits ). I guess this also means both campaigns will bombard us with commercials.

Texan Bulldoggette September 17, 2008 at 6:26 pm

[re=99624]dano[/re]: Yeah, one good thing about being in redneck Bubbaville is that we’re not a swing state. We don’t ever get to see any of those FUN campaign commercials. It was bad enough during the primaries & that damn ringing red phone. If that had been Walnuts, he’d probably tried answering the alarm clock cuz his Ambien had kicked in.

bhosp September 17, 2008 at 6:44 pm

What about Virginia? Virginia, goddammit, SHOW ME VIRGINIA!!

NotLaughing September 17, 2008 at 7:03 pm


somelegalbitch September 17, 2008 at 7:05 pm

Now let’s not start blaming the lawyers…

Cape Clod September 17, 2008 at 7:10 pm

Public Policy Polling has Obama up by 2 in Virginia in a poll that came out today. Don’t know if the Time/CCN poll has anything on the Old Dominion.
Do you think the news this week is favoring one of the candidates?

MathewBrooks September 17, 2008 at 7:28 pm

Did you know that in Venezuela, Miss Universe is a political title. Winners never have to pay taxes again.

Lascauxcaveman September 17, 2008 at 7:44 pm

Anyone who’s interested in following the polls in some detail, and getting some well thought out interpretation, should bookmark

Lascauxcaveman September 17, 2008 at 7:47 pm

[re=99695]bhosp[/re]: [re=99728]NotLaughing[/re]:

Again, on

CNU Virginia poll shows Mcain by 9
PPP Virginia poll shows Hopey by 2

Still very much a battleground.

smellyal8r September 17, 2008 at 8:04 pm

The economic collapse of the United States has Walnuts filling his Depend. This is the worst news in mid-September he could get. His hands were NOT on the regulatory controls and he let the whole thing go to hell, no matter what he says now. And, let us not forget, he was a Keating Five member, so he is way down the pants of the financial institutions (and has collected a pretty penny in campaign contributions from now defunct Wall Street firms). And, Pallin will demonstrate she don’t know nothing about finance, financial markets, etc. HOO-RAY! 30 year old douchebags losing their jobs on Wall Street, McCain in big trouble. Bring. It. On.

hockeymom September 17, 2008 at 8:16 pm

[re=99574]Gopherit v2.0[/re]:

Maybe if Michael Phelps endorsed Obama, this would work.

OR if Michael Vick endorsed McCain, because if there’s one thing this country cares about, it’s illegal dog-fighting rings.

Babs Hula September 17, 2008 at 9:21 pm

Where is President Bush? I’m beginning to think he doesn’t
like us anymore.

He doesn’t call. He doesn’t write.

B's Knees September 18, 2008 at 1:53 am

No worries. I live in North Carolina, and I’m starting a Myspace group to find folks to help me block the backroads, or a flier campaign to tell the NRA types that election day has been moved.

If only I could figure out Facebook, I might really make an impact.

TGY September 18, 2008 at 10:54 am

I’m still cautious, though I hope Barry finds rebounds work in other things besides basketball. Basketball is very, very good to him, of course.

checkonechecktwo September 18, 2008 at 10:58 am

Chicago is boring. Nobody likes walnuts! here. Except the rich, white or old, of course. Oh, and all the blind, deaf and dumb Black people, too. You’d be surprised.

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