Wonkette
THE NEW HOOVER: “John McCain wants to celebrate 9/11 every day, forever, by bombing any country he can recognize on a map, and that’s fine as long as it remains the harmless fantasy of a war-obsessed geezer kept far from the White House. That he still has no idea America is crumbling — its middle class, infrastructure, manufacturing base and banking system — is almost funny.” [AOL Political Machine]
Ooh, I love these. And Ken, I sent you one of those YouTubes through your wonkette.com email, did you get it?
HE doesn’t want to celebrate it. He just appropriated Rudy Giuliani’s message as his own.
The fundamentals are the workers… Yeah, that’s the ticket!!
http://s293.photobucket.com/albums/mm48/SayItWithWookies/?action=view¤t=fundamentllz.jpg
Five and a half years, Ken!!
Ken Layne for President! Four More Paragraphs!!!
America’s not crumbling. The AOL Internet Hate Machine is a bunch of sexist, elitist, partisan, sexist queers.
Although, it is well established that WALNUTS! is for less taxes and more war, so we’ll let that slide.
Smoke Filled Roommate: So that makes Palin a Christian Workerist? Sounds Bolshevik.
Dernyul: I think you’re putting a pig on a pedastal.
the fundamentalists are strong!
Dernyul: Fuck it, we just socialized the American mortgage and insurance industries. We might as well be in Bolshevik Russia. Expect a Yakov Smirnov revival.
I have been thinking, let’s say McCain gets elected … he will certainly become the new Hoover just based on his stated policy positions matching Hoover’s … so then maybe zombie FDR will return? Would it be worth it?
El Bombastico: In Soviet America, the mortgage takes out you!
It’s a uniique American socialism. Where each works to their limits and the elites get to their wonts.
I gotta get me one them gubmint bailouts. In my life, I’m way too important to fail.
I love free market socialists.
Something bothers me… is there an image of Jesus in the backlight? A bird of peace in the shadow-of-jowl? A cross-in-the-combover? This picture bothers me. Is he “speaking in tongues”? What signal are you sending me, Lord?
Dernyul: No, it makes McCain seem ‘tarded when he talks about the economy or tries to (or tries to explain himself talking about the economy). But we already knew that…
So, you’re calling McCain “the new hoover” and you’ve got a photo of the man with his mouth agape.
Are you suggesting that McCain will suck my worries away, cause if you are, I think I can work with that. I imagine he learned a few tricks during that FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, ALAN!
The similarity between Walnuts and Hoover is their view that there have to be booms and busts, and there is nothing the government can do to fix this. McCain’s solution to the financial crisis is further deregulation while continuing to provide a cushion for the financial institutions.
This contradictory concept of free market socialism is what cost the taxpayers a half a trillion dollars in 1989-90 when Walnuts and his pals (Deconcini, Glenn, Cranston and Inouye) prolonged the deregulated but government-guaranteed Savings and Loan debacle at the behest of Ed Keating and his S&L pals.
And now Walnuts wants to repeat the same criminal error with the big mortgage bankers and insurance companies.
Fuck you, Walnuts, and the horse you came in on.
Manchowder: Wait, I’m still deciding what to name my future lean-to. I’m thinking about ‘Smokefill’, ala ‘Pickfair’…
El Bombastico: i hear the Green Tortoise is taking a busload of former Lehman Bros brokers straight to Branson fohr re-trainink tomoro.
Smoke Filled Roommate: you should use the Palin baby name generator to determine the name of your rag hut in Central Park.
ooh! ooh! I have an idea: I’m pretty sure we all live close to one of his houses. When we get evicted from our apartments and foreclosed on our houses,which should be happening in the next two weeks to all of us, let’s move into paper shacks outside his houses and see what he does. We’ll call them “Maverickopolises.”
Aurelio: So, he’s a tax and give-to-my-wife’s-friends conservative elitist no-bid liberal spender.
Dark Helmet: I knew it! I’m surrounded by Assholes!
Remind me again how this is “almost funny”?
Cause I’m not feeling particularly mirthful these days.
hockeymom: You know those situations whether you don’t know whether to laugh or cry, but you definitely don’t want to begin to cry because you know you’ll end up sticking a revolver in your mouth?
nyhfrog:
I already told my son that he could not reply “hobo” to the “What Do You Think You Will Be When You Grow-Up” essay at school.
We had to explain that when mommy and daddy say the kiddies can live in a boxcar when they grow up, we’re JUST KIDDING and they should keep their mouths shut, eat their catfood and go to bed.
Smoke Filled Roommate: I usually make sure to keep a buttload of alcohol in my house, but no revolvers. After taking a double barrel shot from a bottle of single malt, I feel much better. By the way, C-Span is televising the debate on D.C. gun laws as it relates to the Heller Supreme Court decision. The GOP side has a bunch of ‘conservative Democrats’ lined up in favor of overriding the Waxman-Norton bill in the form of the Childress amendment.
obfuscator: At first I thought you wrote Childers…but then I remembered that Travis Childers never does anything…
our hoover: he sucks.
mookworthjwilson: I was wrong, it was Travis Childers. My bad. He’s adding an amendment to the bill that basically overrides DC’s firearm regulations. I wish he’d stick to doing nothing. The amendment prohibits background checks on firearm purchases and keeps the gun show loophole wide open, allowing individuals to purchase semiauto handguns & rifles. My main objection is prohibiting background checks and registration. All the conservative Democrats siding with Childers were old cracker-assed crackers from places like Tennessee & Arkansas. I can only assume that DC elected officials will be allowed to regulate agriculture subsidies and cousin fucking in the districts that these Blue Dogs represent.
Our Hoover: his medical records haven’t really been fully disclosed. Given his age and the likelihood of recurrence of malignant cancer, we all have a right to know.
Sign the damn petition, plz:
http://therealmccain.com/
wow. this here ingenious repug disenfranchisement tactic has me ready to hurl:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/sep/17/uselections2008.democrats
Ken Layne: I agree with the unhinged AOL commenters. You are a liberal lying bag of crap. Didn’t you see McCain promise to regulate Wall Street AND scale back government interference with the free market? He did both those things in the same speech. Truly, he is a Crusty War Wanker for all seasons.
Wanker/Mooselini 2008!
I’m guessing you’re calling McWhatever the new Hoover because he sucks.
Right?
Is there some sort of prize?
obfuscator: I would love to hear him regulate his way out of the juxtaposition of free market capitalism and what the republican government is doing with AIG right about now…
We have essentially become a nation of raving neocon/socialists. It’s an interesting combination.
obfuscator: If you outlaw cousin fucking, the only ones fucking cousins will be outlaws…or at least that’s what my cousin told me as he was fucking me.
Wow. There is still an AOL?
obfuscator: Btw…the whole point of this farse is to allow “conservative dems” to look all gun nutty in front of their hillbilly constituents…it’s not like this actually will reach the chimp in chief’s desk…the Senate will not be taking it up in all likelihood…
MoonshineJoe: If you’re an individual defaulting on your mortgage with the variable interest rate, you’re an irresponsible loser because you bought more house than you could pay for. You deserve no bailout. If you’re a Wall Street investment firm that bought up thousands and thousands of these risky home loans as a long-term investment strategy, you’re “too big to fail” and must be bailed out by a bunch of taxpayers who just lost their homes. Duh.
mookworthjwilson: That’s exactly what I was telling my sister/cousin during our post coital cigarette. At least we can store a stockpile of semi-automatic rifles in our outdoor lavatory.
Let’s just file this one under “just sayin’”, shall we?
http://www.sportsandjokes.com/id35.html
mookworthjwilson: Thanks for the info. I was worried about the head count. Tons of Hillbilly Dems were positively frothing at the mouth about the second amendment. If you can’t go into greater Maryland and buy an AK-47 at a gun show, the terroismists have truly won. Truly, the murder capitol of the world needs one thing: more guns.
I am wondering if all the nutters over on the AOL sight even bother to read the article or even the headline before going on their cut and paste rampages.
Here’s some math.
“Obama claims he is not going to increase taxes on 95% of Americans. Basic math would be then that he will only increase taxes on 5% of the US. So if there is 300 million Americans divided by 5% equals 15 million. Now he wants to increase spending up to 900 Billion. So divide that by 15 million equals 600 million a year. How in the hell is he going to accomplish that? Please its simple math that a 4th grader can figure out!
Wake up people he is an empty suit and he will promise you the moon on the backs of 15 million americans. The math does not work so stop hoping for all those freebies & entitlements, cause its causing America to go broke.
Country First!
Mccain/Palin!!!!”
InsidiousTuna:
They posted that nonsense in a few other places as well. And of course they are either doing it on multiple accounts or there are other retards posting the doing the same copypasta.
It is almost like conservatives lack any independent thought and have to mindlessly parrot any sort of nonsense they are told.
glamourdammerung: I don’t think so. They probably saw ‘McCain Can’t’ and began highlighting. Most AOHell members are like a virus all their own…
InsidiousTuna: I think that you assume that everyone in America makes the same amount of money… or that’s what 4th graders think… or something.
Hey, at least he only wants to bomb the countries he can recognize. He really IS different than Bush!
InsidiousTuna: So… 95% of us get THE FUCKING MOON and all we have to give up are a bunch of Corporate FatCats who make up a mere 5% of the country?
That’s a hell of a deal at any price. Have you seen how beautiful the moon is?
Moon First!
Obama/Biden!!
glamourdammerung: and sorry… misdirected. sleepy tawmn
InsidiousTuna:I meant sorry, misdirected to you… Damn that vixen Erika
PhilEffinBender: Hi, Phil Let’s just file that one under “not particularly funny,” O.K.?
I think i am going to start posting some really crazy batshit stuff like John McCain has impregnated both Bristol Palin and Meghan McCain…incest, just what aol needs on these comment pages…j/k
InsidiousTuna: Being as I am considerably less wealthy than the top 15 million Americans, I say yes, tax those fuckers till blood comes out of their asses.
Speaking of asses, where did you pull that 900 billion figure from?
good news: intrade (that’s real money,not bullfeathers) has obama ahead of mccain this am.first time in about a week. las vegas favors obama. we may get bridges repaired yet.
this aig bailout by commissar paulson will help a lot of overseas foreigners keep their jobs overseas of course.
PhilEffinBender: golfers and sportsmen uber alles.
gurukalehuru: I didn’t write it. Note the quotation marks.
InsidiousTuna: as dorothy parker said,”if you laid them end to end, i wouldn’t be a bit surprised”. the digits of course. nevermind.
InsidiousTuna: “Empty Suit” is the new “Uppity Negrah”. Prove me wrong.
Aurelio: Stop worrying - Secretary of the Treasury Carly Fiorina will keep our economy strong.
obfuscator:
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
The Sursum Corda Cooperative Combat Brigade Team, armed with surplus $70 Moisin-Nagant 91/30s…by any means necessary?
rambone: The vacuum reference wasn’t entirely subtle. Neither was your reference to the pow-ing. Let me just take the time to say that, while I did come to this thread to make a vacuum cleaner joke, now that I have read one I believe I am going to be sick. The very thought of it caused the druk family jewels to crawl deep into druk’s belly and hide, maybe never to come out again. Eww, gross, double gross, gross finishing move… and knockout.
Maybe we could have had a picture of Alaska Barbie with her mouth open wide. My little guys may still be intimidated, but they have never backed a way from a challenge if it has breastesses.
**____**
Rodney Badger: Yeah, the wonkettes found a bunch of change in the office sofa and decided to buy it.
Johnny Zhivago: Nothing funny here, just a little info: buddy of mine whom I was ready to write off as a friend after 20 years because he was a “big fan” of Palin. Well, he’s seen how much press Fiorina has been getting, and as a former Lucent employee who lost most of his 401K when their stock tanked under her leadership…let’s just say Barry and Joe have another vote comin’ their way.
tennessee Jed clampett: Actually, McCain gave reporters access to his full medical records, although they were available only for a few hours and reporters were only able to take notes. Obama provided a note from his doctor and Biden provided nothing.
So where’s the headline “Socialist Bush Nationalizes Insurance Industry?”
mookworthjwilson: Blood’s thicker than mud. It’s a family affair.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4pWbwWOhGg
(this country needs the funky shit today)
Apparently, all the problems in America — AIDS, dirty syringes, abortionz, Larry Craig’s restroom escapades, “Passing Strange” closing on Broadway — began in 2006, when the something-or-other place thingy was TAKEN OVER BY THE DEFEATIST LIBTARD DEMOCRATZ!
Because there were no problems whatsoever before then!
I’m not sure if this is real or not, and my lack of certainty says enough:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/fuzzysquid/42899857/
facehead: real
Oh but Ken, you forget that in McCain’s world middle class means your income is only $4 million.
Besides, as long as he has his trollop-wife’s beer money, HIS infrastructure is stable. Or at least for the next 2 years, which is as long as he’ll last before his senility takes over completely anyway.
Canmon (the Inadequate): Well do you think anyone is interested in reading 12 pages about and infected hairplug?
facehead: Massaponax is in Fredericksburg, VA, so that’s where the REGULARS live and eat their discounted freedom fries.
Redhead: The good thing about the beer money is that the market is shrinking all the time for the crap Cindy distributes; people are spending more on good beer, even in down times, rather than wasting it on swill. Yay beer elitists!