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CULTURE BORES

A Guided Tour Of Obama’s Elitist New Designer Clothing Boutique

The right wing hasn’t been able to fully brand Obama as a GAY yet, as they did to John Kerry (Gay Trademark: being French) and Al Gore (Gay Trademark: fucking dudes). But Obama’s trying to help them out with his new online store section called “Runway to Change,” which features fancy clothes from elitist fashion designers that you can buy for only… uh oh, they don’t even list the prices on the front page! What is this, RUSSIA? Never a good sign, like when you want to order lobster at a rich person’s restaurant and the menu says “Market Price,” which is a plutocrat’s term for “go away, rat hobo.”

$60 for this uncreative turd, for ladies. The “Dude, where’s ______?” structure should be taken out back and shot. It should be taken out back and shot a lot. Remember when Michael Moore used this as the title for one of his books, like eight years ago? Well, someone should’ve shot it then because wtf.

$45 for this tee shirt about nightmares. This is the exact shirt that the serial killer from Scream wore as his jammie top. He dares you to dream, because he haunts your dreams. Obama/Death 2008!

…And this $75 bag is not! Except for collecting your dog’s poopies during walks. Then again, look at the secret code: “CIA.” So, uh, that’s why it costs $75 dollars?

So after checking this overpriced crap out, we’ve determined Barack Obama is still not a Gay, because Gays like fashion and this is not that.

Runway To Change [Obama Store]


5:23 PM on Tue September 16 2008
By Jim Newell
6366 Views

  1. I often CHANGE my socks.

  2. So, Jim, you’re saying the pink rainbow shirt isn’t gay?

  3. AnnieGetYourFun says at 5:29 pm, September 16th, 2008

    And here I thought it was just McCain’s advisors that were trying to help him lose the election. What, did they all start some kind of fucking BET that neither of them was fit to rule?

  4. tonashideska says at 5:29 pm, September 16th, 2008

    Still no elitist polo shirts!

  5. Wow, being gay is a lot harder than it looks!

  6. ohgod. The wrap shirt… I have no words.

  7. What is this, RUSSIA?

    In Soviet Russia, Blackberry invents you!

  8. Gopherit v2.0 says at 5:32 pm, September 16th, 2008

    I like the dog collar for the discriminating Bottoms out there.

  9. I thought this would be a diamond studded collar for my toy dog.
    http://store.barackobama.com/ProductDetails.asp?ProductCode=BZ40003
    A stupid leather bracelet??? What am I, republican?

  10. Texan Bulldoggette says at 5:35 pm, September 16th, 2008

    Good lord, those shirts are hideous. I wouldn’t put a pitbull in lipstick in one of those ugly things. The first one made me think of Ashton Kutcher & “Dude, Where’s My Car?” Anything that reminds you of Ashton Kutcher is a FAIL.

  11. NoWireHangers says at 5:36 pm, September 16th, 2008

    But that Diane von Furstenberg tote is dreamy. I guess I’ll just go without electricity this month…

  12. Gopherit v2.0 says at 5:37 pm, September 16th, 2008

    pondscum: I think that’s to steal some of Palin’s votes.

  13. SayItWithWookies says at 5:38 pm, September 16th, 2008

    The fashion industry and politics — they go together like — like bowling and Egyptology.

  14. NoWireHangers says at 5:38 pm, September 16th, 2008

    I’m still holding out for an Obama vibrator. If he wins, the market will rise to meet demand.

  15. magic titty says at 5:38 pm, September 16th, 2008

    Can we expedite these debates and have the fucking election eight seconds after their conclusion, so that some asshole referring to himself as “Suede” on Project Runway supports Obama publicly and ruins Hopey for good? Bah.

  16. This is terrible.

  17. NoWireHangers says at 5:42 pm, September 16th, 2008

    If they really wanted to reel in the Moran vote, they’d offer “Change” laden white platform flip-flops, press-on acrylic tips, lunch pails, and overalls.

  18. Gopherit v2.0: How? It’s a wrap shirt, not a hockey jersey. Actually, that’s not a bad idea…but basketball. That’s what we need! Obama bball jerseys!!

  19. Red bloggers are going to make fun of this forever.

    And rightly so.

  20. Gopherit v2.0 says at 5:45 pm, September 16th, 2008

    pondscum: I guess it looks more like a redneck bikini top to me. Just tie it up and go.

  21. Gopherit v2.0: Oh, that’s priceless and perfect! Right on the money!

  22. ColdCupofHope says at 5:49 pm, September 16th, 2008

    Wow. “Dare to Dream.” This is what they come up with? I’ve seen nicer t-shirts on sale at the Wisconsin Dells. And most of those have to do with hunting: deer, moose, and pussy.

  23. AnnieGetYourFun says at 5:51 pm, September 16th, 2008

    Wait… uh. I don’t see any burqas.

  24. jasonelias says at 5:52 pm, September 16th, 2008

    This stuff is nifty, but I like John McCain’s line of old man slacks with a compartments for carrying and wearing adult diapers.

  25. problemwithcaring says at 6:01 pm, September 16th, 2008

    There is a Beyonce House of Dereon T-shirt.

    http://store.barackobama.com/ProductDetails.asp?ProductCode=TS29733

    Um, what voting block is he exactly aiming for here, because Rave/Rainbow/Wet Seal vote, I’d venture is locked up already.

  26. magic titty says at 6:04 pm, September 16th, 2008

    magic titty: sorry, this was written in haste. it was supposed to say “before some asshole…”

    I’m done for the day.

  27. How long until the wingnuts come out with the “HUR, DURR. RACHEL RAY WEARS ANOTHER TERRIST SCARF. HUR… DUR.” meme?

  28. sarcasticusername says at 6:10 pm, September 16th, 2008

    way to put out fancy elitist merchandise that no normal people can afford while the economy implodes around you. snaps for barry, it’s a great time to show just how much you “get it.” jesus, the economy is trading in monopoly money at this point; is he secretly working for the mccain campaign?

  29. Goes well with chilled white wine, pâté and Streisand:http://store.barackobama.com/PhotoDetails.asp?ShowDESC=N&ProductCode=TS29707
    This falls into the “What were they thinking category”.

  30. InsidiousTuna says at 6:12 pm, September 16th, 2008

    There was a scarf made by a “Rachel Roy”. Isn’t that the Dunkin’ Donuts terrorist lady?

  31. Undeterredbyreality says at 6:16 pm, September 16th, 2008

    OMFG! Whose idea was this and why do they hate America?

  32. this $75 bag is not! Except for collecting your dog’s poopies during walks

    Th-th-that’s n-not change we can relieve in!

  33. smellyal8r says at 6:26 pm, September 16th, 2008

    I’m sure the elitist NYC fashion set wanted to “something” to get BHO elected and this is what they came up with. They shouldn’t be in a catalog, but in a 500 sq ft stark white shop on the lower East Side where six of them are hanging on racks. You know, places no str8 person would go.

  34. StripesAndPlaids says at 6:26 pm, September 16th, 2008

    carerer: no, its a bracelet, not a cock ring.

  35. The Lucky Republican says at 6:38 pm, September 16th, 2008

    Why does Barack Obama want to destroy fashion?

  36. How come no $120k sweaty dick lawyer clothes from St. Paul?

  37. Are they organic muslin?

  38. CrunchyKnee says at 6:55 pm, September 16th, 2008

    Servo: I think that frist shirt is half breed muslin.

  39. tocute2btrue says at 7:03 pm, September 16th, 2008

    That dam Michelle has a pair of lace panties that the rats ate the crotch out, she wears them all the time.

  40. grevillea says at 7:14 pm, September 16th, 2008

    Hope is an anchor, dragging you to a watery grave? WTF?

  41. sati demise says at 7:15 pm, September 16th, 2008

    bup: Wait until they find out McCains mother has a FRENCH maiden name!

  42. Baseproduct says at 7:36 pm, September 16th, 2008

    Surely the pink rainbow shirt with the upside-down magenta A’s proves Obama isn’t a gay? That shirt screams “I love vagina and I don’t care who knows it!”

  43. twoeightnine says at 7:40 pm, September 16th, 2008

    Digital Gravel and Upper Playground’s selection is much better and cheaper.

    http://www.digitalgravel.com/servlet/StoreFront

  44. Looks like Marc Jacobs is still nursing his Hillary wounds with that half-assed effort at a tote bag. I think the work was farmed out to the summer interns.

    I say the campaign should take this down before it gets discovered by the ghouls at NRO and Fox.

  45. Sire Says says at 8:20 pm, September 16th, 2008

    Well…don’t forget that Sarah Palin has inspired fashionistas all across the country with these stunning looks that I have collected for your viewing pleasure.

  46. wallythepug says at 8:26 pm, September 16th, 2008

    C’mon people, some of these aren’t so bad…although zazzle.com has more interesting t-shirts. Besides, the moneys go to the campaign and it beats sending $75 without getting a high-end cleaning rag.

  47. somelegalbitch says at 9:51 pm, September 16th, 2008

    God I want one of those totes. The Rag and Bone and Derek Lam are both fantastic. And yeah, they are expensive but if you’re going to donate to the campaign anyway you may as well get a cool tote bag out of it.

  48. darbyogill says at 12:40 am, September 17th, 2008

    How about we just RunAway from Change?

    Eh… it’s pointless, I just can’t do it, I’m an Obamatard forever.

  49. Cape Clod says at 8:33 am, September 17th, 2008

    SayItWithWookies: Win.
    Perhaps a better idea would have been to sell recycled coffee mugs. Just cross out the “Shearson/Lehman” and write “Change is Awesome”.

  50. I think we’re in real danger if style defines substance.

    What is the newest fashion trend?

    Jimmy Choos Snow Shoes!

  51. Can I get it in pleather?

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