Wonkette
The MSNBC television channel is home to numerous liberal windbag children like Keith Olbermann, the important sports highlight show reporter who gets very grave and solemn while discussing people who exploit 9/11 in a tacky, self-promoting fashion, which ironically is what he’s doing in the process. And so Keith must be upset today with his network’s website, MSNBC.com, which actually has a live feature called “Know 9/11? Take a tougher-than-usual quiz.” We’re not sure when all of these “usual” 9/11 quizzes took place, but we agree that this one is tougher. We got a 40% and will now go to Gitmo. DHS agents are picking us up any moment now. Oh no they’re breaking down the door! Well, everyone, it’s been a pleasu
I got 70% as a Furriner. Does this mean I can get a green card (not that I want one)?
That scary flag-winged eagle shall haunt my nightmares for all eternity. Thanks, Gitmo-Jim. Enjoy your testicle electricution!
This is the best:
4. At the time of 9/11 attacks, President Bush was in the Sarasota, Fla., area, where he was visiting an elementary school to promote an education initiative. What is the name of the school?
Booker T. Washington Elementary School
H. Barbara Booker Elementary School
Emma E. Booker Elementary School
Kermit R. Booker Elementary School
5. After hearing of the attacks and finishing a book with second graders at the Booker Elementary School, President Bush was rushed to Air Force One, which was quickly airborne. Where did the plane next touch down?
I am 50% more patriotic than Wonkette.
ManchuCandidate: No it means you HAVE to get one.
do ya think we can get sarah palin to take this test?
I suck. 40%. In all fairness, if you pass this test, you know too much. And, obviously, you’re a terrorist.
I got 40% too. You mean Booker T. Washington Elementary School doesn’t exist? Bastards.
dougbob: With or without Joe Lieberman whispering in his ear?
dougbob: Yes, in three weeks, after rigorous prep from Joe Lieberman.
Um, going back to the post before this one, were they regular cretins? or troll cretins? or new cretins who haven’t gotten the unspoken conventions and unwritten code that real Wonketeers live by?
I’m 50% of a Never Forget, Crying Eagle patriot. Suck it, Al Quaeda.
ManchuCandidate: Unfair. You probably get fact-based news coverage where you are from. You may as well have just cheated, you cheatie cheater!
I’m glad I have learned the 9/11 lesson that President Dubya was not at Kermit the Frog Elementary School during the terrorist attacks. I am now qualified to be VP!
I got a D- and I’m still smarter than Bush.
Keith Olbermann. Tested. Ugh.
The GOP version:
1) America was attacked because:
(choose 1)
1) The terrorists hate our Freedoms
2) True or False: Everyone, and I mean everyone thought Iraq had WMDs:
(Choose true or true)
1) True
3) The August PDB that Condi Shared with Bush was titled:
(Choose 1)
1) “Bill Clinton says Bin Ladin unlikely to attack US any time soon.”
4) The U.S. economy tanked, and millions list their jobs because of:
(Choose 1)
1) The recession Bush inherited from Clinton deepened after 9/11
5) The Lord Lifted his protecting veil and allowed 9/11 because:
(choose 1)
1) We tolerate Homosexuals in this country
6) If Barack Obama were elected President:
(Choose 1)
1) A resurgent Al Qaeda would launch new attacks against America that would make 9/11 look like your Thanksgiving dinner.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: In all fairness, I think you’re considered a terrorist if you believe that most of the attackers were from the land of oil and friendship, Saudi Arabia.
…dont feel so bad guys, “W” got negative 30%!
10. Excluding the hijackers, almost 3,000 people were killed in the 9/11 attacks. Among these were hundreds of foreign nationals. Which country lost most citizens?
I like this question. Cause w/o the 19 hijackers, you’re “almost 3,000″ gets pretty fucked up.
LauraElizabeth: Everyone knows Bush was circling Manhattan in a Trilateral Commission AWACS Command Frigate - carefully disguised as a Circle Line Tour boat.
60%
I’m gonna go cower in the corner to get ready for the dogs. Maybe they’ll pile all of us Wonketteers up and take a group picture.
The only answer that matters: My Pet Goat.
The test forgot to ask, “Why did President Bush ignore Condi’s memo warning of the attacks?”
a. He doesn’t know how to read.
b. He doesn’t like to read.
c. He’s more of a “gut” person, not a “thinking” person.
d. He doesn’t like to read.
I got a 50%. I think they should make Rudy take this on National Teevee.
I got 80 percent right. Suck it, losers!
80%. I don’t know whether to be proud or to up my meds.
Simple Sarah says: “I don’t have to know all there is about 9/11, because I already know everything I need to know. No one has told me just what teh Allen Kayduh does.”
70% I’m packing my bags for the “know too much” side of Git’mo.
I got 50%, which proves I am more patriotic than Wonkette.
Serolf Divad: Ha ha, you should have Thanksgiving in my parents’ house. Toss-up.
30%. I haz forgetted.
70%! Woo hoooooo
Is that level of knowledge too high for a job at Homeland Security?
I got 40%, but I think that’s only because I chose the most ironic answers.
I got a 50%… it said I’m scheduled for a sitdown meeting with Larry Craig in a Minneapolis Airport bathroom… Oh noes!
Anita Cocktail:
I know… that was a softball tossed out for one of you guys.
Let’s make that jackass Rudy Giuliani take this fucking quiz and laugh when he gets a shitty score.
I got 90% link
Not sure if I should be proud or worried…
That must be a picture of our new American flag Palin’s going to introduce during her eventual presidential inaugeration/monster truck rally.
Serolf Divad: Awe-inspiring!
7) President John “Sydney” McCain will prevent further terrorist attacks like 9/11 because:
(Choose 1)
1) He’s so resolute! Five and a half years, Alan! Plus he knows how to survive crashing aircraft.
Why does MSNBC hate America with these sexist quizzes that asks for “facts?”
80%. I’ve always prided myself on being slightly better than average.
demtard: Mom?
80%. Does that mean i have to vote for McCain.
I neither confirm nor deny I took that quiz, nor do I have any knowledge of it at this time.
Yay! I got 50%, and I only guessed on 9 of the 10 questions. Today, I am truly proud to be an Armenian. Er, American.
Yeah, baby, I got 90%! Woo hoo!
Oh, wait…
This quiz is creepy as fuck.
What are the names of the “dead” people on United 93? The only people who know this shit are truthers. And/or nerds who actually finished the comission report.
I got a better score on the Science Test. Take THAT Public Schools!
I got 80. Would’ve gotten 90 if I didn’t switch on Barksdale.
Now I’m ready to storm the Gates of Hell!
Yikes, 30%.
Usually I’m embarrassed when I do badly on current-events quizzes, but NOTHING in this quiz has anything to do with knowing about or understanding 9/11 (except the part about Saudi Arabia, but since the government doesn’t care, why should we? More public beheadings, please!). It seems to have been written by someone who is unhealthily obsessed with 9/11 minutiae and constantly discussing and reading about the attacks.
So I’m guessing that Rudy G. would do pretty well, actually.
SkimLatteModerate: Actually, Todd “Let’s Roll” Beamer went to my undergrad. We had a huge bas-relief memorial of him installed in the new student center that bears his name. Dennis Hastert even showed up to the service! (I helped sing the national anthem for it…hell, a gig’s a gig.)
I met his wife. I hope her book deal works out.
It scares hell out of me that I scored 80% by mostly guessing. (I’d have gotten 90% if I hadn’t changed one answer from what my Inner Wonk knew was right, but that I thought was too obvious and therefore, probably a lie.) This tells me that my brain has been co-opted by subliminable nine-elevening. Where do I get my “Support Our Troops” magnet?
Where are all the questions about Satan’s horns in the Twin Towers smoke?
Hurrah, 9/11 Minutiae! Can a special edition of Trivial Pursuit be far behind? Parker Brothers would totally go for that if they really love America.
I’m sorry they took you away. Juli-with-no-e, I guess the place is all yours now.
LauraElizabeth: hey! you have my name!
i only got ted olson, saudi arabia and UK citizens. this says something unflattering, only i don’t know what.
Ha ha, 60%! It took me FIVE AND HALF YEARS to beat Wonkette’s score by 20%.
The terrorists wake up every morning thinking how they can hurt America…and so do we!!!
That shit is just morbid. I realize ‘Mericans have headline-to-headline memory spans, but a fucking quiz really trivializes the event all too soon.
Trollop: Me too. I think “spends too much time watching 24 hour cable news” is the correct answer. I missed the “four names” one.
Haha - I got 10% of the questions right.
But i also managed to get 90% of them wrong.
Why do I hate 9/11?
Damn I got a 40% too. Maybe I should stop getting ALL of my information from your website.
80%, bitches. Consider all y’all pwned.
A trivia quiz? About 9/11? The terrorists may not have already won, but the idiots that run our tee vee networks sure are looking good.
50% But about half of my correct answers were WAGs…
90% cause I stay informed by reading websites like Wonkette. I would have scored a perfect ten if only all elementary schools were named after Booker T. Washington like they should be.
90% here too, but I kinda cheated. I was in the Pentagon that day flying all the planes by remote control, and Rummy bumped my shoulder at the wrong time, which was the real reason flight 93 crashed.
magic titty: yeah i got 10% to, i think it means that we are smarter because we didnt pay attention to all the conspiracy theory BS, i knew they were from saudi and thats the only detail that matters
50% And I learnt all those facts from reading Wonkette.
60% for me which is what I always got in algebra. Found memories. Never forget high school!
50% means I’m 25% more smarter then Wonkette!
40% would’ve put me in the hall-of-fame as a baseballer!! Crap, all I do is watch cable news. You’d think I’d be better informed.
shoeho: Me too. I thought they had the Martin Short character among the options, which I thought was in questionable taste.
80% because of my SAT tested answer discriminator (guessing) skills. Follow-up question: What country that we invaded and have lost over 4,000 soldiers in had absolutely NOTHING to do with 9/11?
40%. But give me break, who memorized the names of famous Flight 93 passengers? Or cretinous movie directors for that matter…
I got 60% so clearly I am a terrorizz
V572625694: Haha, “Love Sydney” was a teevee show about a GAY guy. Does that mean John Mccain secretly wants teh buttsecks?
The answer to every question about 9/11 is simple:
The Jews.
BTW, I’m a member of the tribe, a hebrew, a yid, a kike, a hook-nose, a red sea pedestrian…not an anti-semite. I’m only an anti-semite when I’m working in food service.
loggin in. Whew it was hard to register here. I had to swear I knew nothing about anal rap. What is this 9/11 you speak of?
Ha!! I got 90%!!!
I guess that makes me…. ummm…… a republican, because we all know that the heathen, terrorist-loving, Hussein-backing, freedom hating,liberal-pussy democrats know NOTHING about 9/11.
phew. only got 50% so i get to keep my liberal card.
110% because its about my family values
30%. I can’t remember if not knowing anything makes me more patriotic or less.
80 percent, and when did Newark get an airport?
60%, and would have been better if I’d remembered that Tony Blair wasn’t Canadian. Damn 4:20!
Ha! 50%! That means I get waterboarded in the comfort of my own condo.
Serolf Divad: Shit! Just one choice for each, which was welcome after a hard test, but I only got 60%. I think my problem is that I know the answers, but I don’t accept them. Fail, or what?
scwrud: 1986, scwrud. I know because I passed through what passed for Newark’s previous airport around 1985, a year before the new one was built. I seem to recall it as something resembling a big, sweaty pile of moldy plastic with a Roy Rogers inside of it. But they had posters up all over the place saying the new airport was going to be much better!
I got 80%, by the way. So I am now Vice President of 9/11.