Wonkette
- Huckabee and Barr will embarrass themselves publicly with some other losers, just to see who would fail more tragically as a stand-up comedian. [DCist]
- In her world-famous acceptance speech, Sarah of the North quoted some batshit Nazi who also wanted to assassinate FDR. [Ben Smith}
- Palin and McCain are pretending to have an extramarital maverick sex with each other so that racists can have their own Barack&Michelle. [Daily Kos]
- The North Korean army will destroy its enemies by arranging itself to appear as nothing more than an MC Escher drawing. [Matthew Yglesias]
- Rachel Maddow has had her MSNBC show for all of 48 hours, so it’s high time Fox News finally pulls through with a homophobic comment. [Ezra Klein]
- Barack Obama commanded a pack of rabid wolves to run north, to Alaska, so they could devour Palin. These wolves feed on the flesh of hockey moms. [HuffPost]
Those North Koreans are real good marchers. They would provide neat entertainment at the next Superbowl.
Republicans are instinctively sympathetic to buggery, however outwardly respectable they appear.
I officially hate Politico commenters.
Fowler said McCain had chosen a running mate ” whose primary qualification seems to be that she hasn’t had an abortion.”
FInally!
I refuse to visualize Walnuts & Mother Sarah in the ‘clinch’, but I do think that Walnuts’ bones are pretty brittle by now. A hip or a knee or elbow is surely gonna pop if Mother Sarah starts bouncing on him. Actually that’s kind of a funny visual.
Larry Fine:
I hope North Korea hosts the next Olympics (after the UK or whoever). I bet the opening ceremonies would be cool. Maybe they could nuke a mountain in the background, or something, just for the mere spectacle of it.
I’m still trying to fathom the idea that someone is too anti-semitic for the John Birch Society. That’s like Jeffrey Dahmer getting kicked out of Borneo ’cause he freaked out the other cannibals.
Palin has already put a bouty out on those wolves: http://www.defenders.org/newsroom/press_releases_folder/2007/03_27_2007_judge_asked_to_shut_down_wolf_bounty_program.php
Lesbians out of the mainstream? JEEBUS. It’s the rare woman who isn’t a lesbian.
What?
What’s up with all these damn Gramm/Graham cracka’s in the news?
SayItWithWookies:
I think the phrase “We expelled him from the John Birch Society for being too anti-Semitic” on a Birch Society press release is code for “We expelled him from the John Birch Society for not being anti-Semitic enough.”
I’d like to feed on the flesh of some hockey moms, if you know what I mean.
JadedDIssonance: Agreed. Kill them all. The end.
Palin’s a far-right evangelical. Quoting an anti-Semitic FDR-hater will neither surprise nor disgust her base at all; it’ll probably consolidate them further.
Chris Matthews is a fucking dunce.
The only other source for that Pegler easily available online is a 1990 book by Patrick Buchanan.
So, Pat did Caribou Barbie’s homework and wrote her speech? No wonder he’s so damned brain dead when it comes to her complete lack of experience or qualifications. That, or she’s still blowing him.
JadedDIssonance: Oh, Fowler. Jesus loves you. So do I.
magic titty: You know the cameras turned off and Matthews gave himself an epic /facepalm.
I mean, really, there’s only one kind of all-American couple with that sort of age difference between them, and mostly you find it in families of “fuckin’ rednecks”.
Po wittle Pawin is being attacked by big mean Bawwy? Awwwwwwww.
She’s done nothing wrong, ever! LEAVE HER ALONE!!!1!
SayItWithWookies: Heh. She likes someone with politics to the right of the Rev. John Birch, huh? That might be less ch-ch-change we can believe in, than more of the same.
Are those north-bound wolves the same animals who chase ambulances?
I get the feeling Palin is afraid of a lawyer or two.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: Actually, I think it’s either Bristol or Track that’s blowing him. Glasses! is just… what was O’Reilly’s word?… “supervising.”
Serolf Divad: Apparently I’m waaaay behind on what’s code for what now. Hell, I remember when “family values” meant honesty, hard work and faithfulness. Now it means stealing OxyContin and having sex in church. Now that I think about it, maybe I’m a conservative.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: Except for Keith and Rachel, I’ve tuned out of MSMbc, simply because of Buchanan, it’s basically the right wing blowhard network, (and you thought FUX was, insidious!)
This just in:
straight talk express crashes and burns and goes straight to hell.
shortsshortsshorts: That’s what they have the Palin Truth Squad for! Starring: Margaret Farrow, former Lt. Gov. of Wisconsin. She’s a hottie who thinks abortion is evil and is now a lobbyist. Progressives in Wisconsin wish she would just die already.
Not to worry about teh Hopewolves, General Palin will shoot them from the air, humanitairian like…
Strictly for the Tardcore: You’re climbing to the top of KevoTron’s favorite commenters list.
Glasses! <—- fucking genius
shortsshortsshorts: Conservative Feminism: She’s tough enough to be president but needs daddy to stand up for her. Come on, Pitbull. I see the lipstick. Where’s the teeth?
I really hope Huckabee pulls a Saget and stuns the audience with a profanity-ridden series of dirty limericks, immaculate conception jokes, and obscene bible hymn parodies.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: andrea mitchell handed buchanan lipstick this am on msnbc.
KevoTron: Wow. Thank you. Sadly, I wish my powers of snark could even compare to those of Cogito Ergo Bibo, SayItWithWookies, or 4tehlulz.
Gopherit v2.0: The term “Conservative Feminism” can also be replaced with “bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit,” depending on the school of thought.
Rachal Maddow is a lesbian? Really? It took a whopping 48 hours & two episodes before Fox Noise sneered about it? They’re slipping, where was the FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, ALAN outrage? “Rachel is A LADY WHO LIKES OTHER LADIES, ALAN!” That’s the FOX we come to know and hate.
FDR hate is so 2004.
econdave: I hear they taste like Salmon, if you know what I mean.
Actually, I’ve always admired wolves’ hunting technique. One alone could never bring down a moose, but one nips at a leg, one nips at another leg, and when she lowers her head to confront the little bastards, one grabs her by the throat, slashing it and spilling blood all over the snow. (actually, I have no idea what I’m talking about, but you get the idea.)
We are like that, we commenters on sites and spreaders of idle rumors. We are wolves for hope. That lame fucking donkey was getting old, anyway.
Seriously, how dumb is that McCain ad? “Trying to destroy her”? Lord. http://www.entertonement.com/clips/23084/John-McCain/John-McCain-Campaign-Ad/Palin-As-Obama%27s-Prey-Ad/Try-to-destory-her
Strictly for the Tardcore: Yes, they are the Yoda, Obie Wan and Emperor of Snark (respectively).
Westbrook Pegler??? geeze, there’s a name that hasn’t been heard of in years. I checked Wikipedia. I think he was some sort of McCarthyite. good times.
shortsshortsshorts: This has some delicious Kurtz overtones…
KevoTron: Hey now. We’re all Snark Jedis here.
Strictly for the Tardcore: KevoTron: Aw, shucks.
Strictly for the Tardcore: SayItWithWookies is sort of the fucking irrepressible force person.
I’m quite jelly.
Gopherit v2.0: SayItWithWookies: magic titty:
Well, I guess we’re all pretty swell (to quote the Beaver). You know who’s not funny? That dipshit Suburbman, Canmon (the bitter), KellyGrll -banned yesterday- and every NeoCon ever.
Hockey AND lesbians? Shit, looks like I’m going to grab some beers and watch Slapstick tonight. Thanks for the subliminal juxtapositioning, Wonkette!
Gopherit v2.0: Can I please be on the dark side?
KevoTron: I think Canmon the Inadequate is some weird zen master irony ninja who is always trying to elicit the correct snarkly response by posting some cat-fur covered idea. That is, Canmon is the thing without which we would not have much of the material from which to entertain ourselves.
Like Sarah Palin. Without a picture of Sarah Palin, what would I masturbate on?
Sara in the West: This could backfire on teh soft porn station, Fox ‘news’.
All their viewers tune into Maddows new show for some hot girl on girl action, then become regular viewers because they get a taste of some real journalism for a change.
buh-bye Fox, hello Rachel!
sati demise: Then she would be an Super lesbian with righteous mind-control powers!
I like it.
RuperttheBear: We all masturbate to Sarah Palin.
I like Rachel Maddow, and I am certainly no fashion plate myself, but for cryin out loud could she wear a turtleneck or something, there is something about her neck that is really annoying, it is like a brontosaurus neck.
Gopherit v2.0: magic titty: Meant no disrespect by not including you. But I have to go to work sometime today, and listing off everybody that snarks better than me would take til… um… tomorrow.
Ye Gods, but do I love this site.
shortsshortsshorts: You live in San Francisco. Is that not hedonistic enough?
SayItWithWookies: I thought “family values” was a way of countering the homosexual agenda plus the menace of satanism (now there is a threat we have heard far too little of in recent years - but it was once right up there - just ask the folks who were convicted).
KevoTron: I’m sorry but ’round these parts it’s San Fransodomy. We ain’t named after no religious character ‘ere no more.
edgydrifter: “His wife IS a dyke!”
Strictly for the Tardcore: KevoTron: Gosh, guys. You’re making me blush! Guess I’d better do my snark homework if you’re actually expecting quality from me (rather than the usual drunken ravings I post).
freakishlystrong: Damn you, I was about to make the same joke!
magic titty:
“Jesus Christ. Poor fuckin’ guy–does that make him a fag?”
Did I actually call it Slapstick??? F me. It’s not even 4:20.
edgydrifter: “If someone called my wife a dyke I’d go fucking bananas.”
Wow, you just might have. And i missed it - so, uh, you know…
Fuck Sarah Palin is basically what I’m trying to say here.
Sara in the West: Hate to admit it, I had no idea she was. Still don’t care now that I know. MSNBC is the first I have ever seen or heard of her and I thought, man, she is pretty smart.
I think we have crowned a new Lord Douchebag….
Texan Bulldoggette: No it isn’t! God, now I need the evil clowns to visit my dreams to kill this visual.
Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vNk4K3YaIc
“If someone called my wife a dyke I’d go fucking bananas.”
Wouldn’t SHE technically be the one fucking bananas?
qwerty42: They called him “Westbrook Piglet” in Mad magazine. He was a real bastard, worse than anything on Fox.