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RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS

Ted Stevens’ Unflattering Angles

  • Rev. Wright had blissful, torrid churchsex with some married lady and addressed the scandal by singing plaintive Motown b-sides. [New York Post]
  • Palin billed the Kingdom of Alaska in order to cover travel expenses like staying at home. [Daily Kos]
  • Ted Stevens wants you to know that his palatial estate only looks that way because of the FBI’s “wide-angle lenses.” [TPMMuckraker]
  • McCain tried to schedule a rally at a Virginia high school, probably because Google Image Search mislabeled it as Afghanistan. [DCist]
  • Heart wants McCain to stop playing their song “Barracuda” in reference to Sarah of the North. McCain will do no such thing. [CNN Political Ticker]
  • Sexist book enthusiast Ed Koch called Palin “scary” just because she wanted to destroy a few Alaskan libraries and anyone who dared to stand in her way. [Ben Smith]


3:40 PM on Tue September 9 2008
By Juli Weiner
915 Views

  1. NotLaughing says at 3:44 pm, September 9th, 2008

    zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  2. FreshCliches says at 3:45 pm, September 9th, 2008

    Them there wide angle lenses are housed in a series of awfully wide tubes.

  3. SayItWithWookies says at 3:46 pm, September 9th, 2008

    Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin has billed taxpayers for 312 nights spent in her own home during her first 19 months in office, charging a “per diem” allowance intended to cover meals and incidental expenses while traveling on state business.

    Hell, if I had to live with the Palin family I’d charge for it too.

  4. Serolf Divad says at 3:47 pm, September 9th, 2008

    Wright has been married to his second wife, Ramah, for more than 20 years.

    The preacher reportedly wooed Ramah away from her first husband in the 1980s, when the couple came to marriage counseling at Wright’s Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago.

    Am I a bad man because this guy just became my hero?

  5. magic titty says at 3:48 pm, September 9th, 2008

    “God Damn America!” is just orgasm-speak. People will say anything at “go time”.

  6. Serolf Divad says at 3:50 pm, September 9th, 2008

    Ted “Wide Angle” Stevens and Larry “Wide Stance” Craig ought to get together some time and go over their escapades. My suggestion would be a porta-potty at an abandoned oil well deep in the Alaskan tundra.

  7. Serolf Divad: BwahahAhahahAaaargh. So moral and high-minded!

  8. Delicious says at 3:50 pm, September 9th, 2008

    “People wouldn’t be happy to know that my wife was sleeping with a black man.”

    That quote makes me smile.

  9. NotLaughing says at 3:51 pm, September 9th, 2008

    <—very very bored

  10. NotLaughing says at 3:54 pm, September 9th, 2008

    Why are you going to tell people your wife is sleeping with a black man?

  11. KevoTron says at 3:55 pm, September 9th, 2008

    In all fairness… How many musicians would allow the McCain campaign to use their material? If the GOP went around asking permission they’d be left with Ted Nugent or some shitty Christian-metal.

    I simply cannot take this election any more. I’m deathly afraid of November fourth and the accompanying hangover on the fifth. I’ll need at least a fifth (whiskey) to undo the fourth (election) and then maybe a half-gallon to undo the fifth (hangover election anger). In any case I can see my fists going through sheetrock at the end of the night. Fuck I’m glad I’m off probation next month.

  12. RuperttheBear says at 3:57 pm, September 9th, 2008

    Do the lyrics to “Barracuda” mean something? Is it good to be a barracuda? What’s with the porpoise? Is the singer still really fat?

  13. Serolf Divad says at 3:58 pm, September 9th, 2008

    KevoTron:

    Don’t forget Barry Sadler.

  14. Johnny Zhivago says at 3:59 pm, September 9th, 2008

    Since when can the FBI afford cameras with interchangable lenses?

  15. NotLaughing says at 4:00 pm, September 9th, 2008

    Rachel Maddow looks fine without her eyelashes.

  16. Serolf Divad:

    That the man was trolling for a mistress at the marriage counseling service he was running? LOL Admire his nerve if not his actions.

  17. kellygrrrl says at 4:05 pm, September 9th, 2008

    more Rev Wright from Murdoch’s toilet paper

    gee, shocking

  18. freakishlystrong says at 4:06 pm, September 9th, 2008

    KevoTron: Save some for the Wonkette Ark to Cuba-on November Sixth, we might as well go to GITMO on our own terms!

  19. NotLaughing says at 4:06 pm, September 9th, 2008

    This movie about water is making me very nervous.
    (see ad on the sidebar thing with the leaky faucet)

  20. freakishlystrong says at 4:09 pm, September 9th, 2008

    RuperttheBear: “Barracuda” was a vicious rant against the Music Biz, the Replitards are using it as a viscious rant against the good, thinking people of the former U.S of A.

  21. magic titty says at 4:15 pm, September 9th, 2008

    NotLaughing: seriously, what was that about. also, her set was giving me the bends. please revise.

  22. Obama needs to get Koch a temporary residence in Florida and just have him working the old NY’ers down there every day for the next two months.

  23. KevoTron says at 4:25 pm, September 9th, 2008

    Serolf Divad: Oh dear God. Thanks for that.freakishlystrong: Fuckin A right. I’ve already reserved my GITMO bungalow. I recommend making reservations now so you can get one with an ocean view.

  24. NotLaughing says at 4:39 pm, September 9th, 2008

    magic titty:

    Can’t believe she vetted the set.

  25. Naked Bunny with a Whip says at 4:57 pm, September 9th, 2008

    Rev. Wright had blissful, torrid churchsex

    This will no doubt reflect badly on Obama, who is presumably being held responsible for everything Wright has ever said or done.

  26. YellowSnow says at 5:40 pm, September 9th, 2008

    Repubs - Please keep playing AC/DC, please please please! I thought all you were against devil music?

  27. Canuckledragger says at 5:42 pm, September 9th, 2008

    If McCain’s that flat-out determined to play a Heart song, why not “Heartless?”

    At least it’s appropriate to the intended purpose.

    Like Reagan, Juan doesn’t listen to lyrics. Otherwise he’d know that “Barracuda” is NOT intended as a compliment.

  28. Like many places, I suspect, this town has what you might call a White Power Rock FM station. It features white guitar groups from the 70s and 80s: Van Halen, ACDC, KISS, Queen, Boston, Lenard Skynard, you get the idea. No Luther Vandross, Temps, rap or jazz. The central promise seems to be of 10 songs in a row without a Negro interruption.

  29. YellowSnow says at 6:04 pm, September 9th, 2008

    Canuckledragger: Yeah, who needs lyrics just play the video backwards and you’ll see Thunderstruck is really about Katrina

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cN1TCdoB238

  30. edgydrifter says at 6:19 pm, September 9th, 2008

    WadISay: Hey–Freddie Mercury (originally Farrokh Bulsara) was born on the island of Zanzibar to Iranian parents. A gay, African Persian? He was token enough to be the patron saint for every group underrepresented on Amerikkkan Buttrock radio.

  31. DangerousLiberal says at 6:58 pm, September 9th, 2008

    Yeah, and I look like a pasty white fatass because of those goddam wide angle lenses all the kids have these days. Except those lenses don’t change the essential fact that I am a pasty white fatass.

    That is all.

  32. Serolf Divad: Gee, I thought those army-types hated those sissy, panti-waisted navy types.

  33. FreshCliches: Ted should stress at trial that the camera always adds ten pounds.

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