Wonkette
- OFFICIAL TRIG PALIN BABY CONSPIRACY TIMELINE! Well, sure, let’s have Vanity Fair take a go at this thing. It’s a chart! [Vanity Fair]
ACHTUNG BABY
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/happy dance
“Bristol, go breast feed your brother!”
Faked her water breaking? Who cleaned up the mess? We need DNA evidence!
*gack gack gack*
There are shades of Freud in this schadenfreude.
I hope they both were the mom of Twig, or whatever the fuck his name is.
Why give a retarded kid such a hard name? Shouldn’t it be Jon or Bill or Bob or something?
Am I the only one that hopes Bristol’s baby comes out black?
Maybe Sarah can have Bristol’s NEXT baby for her as well! She saves America with her super-vagina!
Vanity Smurf: …it wasn’t me!
Vanity Fair… sweet. The media treated the Clinton’s like they were trashy hillbillies just because they were from Arkansas, never mind the Yale Law degrees and the Rhodes Scholar thing. And now there are actual, honest to jeebus (but not investigators), trailer trash snowbillies on a national ticket. Like MoDo said, “sheer heaven.”
Vanity Smurf: How would that be possible if the real fucker is David Brookes?
Why can’t every scandal come with easy to follow graphics?
Now THAT’S an idea for a web site I’d subscribe to.
AngryBlakGuy: It was Alan Keyes!
What happens to Sarah’s Veepstakes when it comes out that Trig’s baby-daddy is Levi Johnson [teehee... I said "Johnson"] and that Sarah IS the baby-mama? Bristle will kill mommy, which her body language indicates she’s already prepped to do.
Doesn’t the Bible say that Hot Toddy can smite Sarah for her indiscretion before Yahweh gets to smite her, too?
I’m still up in the air about the pregnancy bit, but this does confirm evidence that Palin’s family tree is a straight line.
AngryBlakGuy: I would certainly never want to imply such a thing. You better than that, besides you’d probably bust her wide open.
You’re all just mad that you haven’t farmed out you child bearing to your teenage daughters. It’s a time saver and you get a cute baby for election time with none of the waddling and pickle cravings.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
Vanity Smurf: Good gawd, that was crude but funny!
…now time to put on my tin foil hat(not that I ever take it off)! Regardless of which theory is true, her choice to accept the Vice Presidency tells you a lot about what kind of person she is. If she was aware that Bristol was pregnant and still decided to accept the VP spot(and bring Bristol along for the ride) she is either a cold hearted politician that cares only about her own ambition or she is a naive, back water bumpkin who had no idea as to what she is signing on for. On the opposite side of the spectrum; if Trig is not Sarah Palin’s son and she decided to throw her own daughter under the bus to cover her ass then she is a ruthless, ideologue that will not allow anything or anyone to get in the way of her goals(and with all the vindictive stories coming out of Alaska this is entirely plausible). In any event Sarah Palin’s behavior toward her own family put her in one of 2 categories, either she is either a dummy like George “W” Bush or an evil manipulator like Karl Rove!
Vanity Smurf: …hehehehe, how do you think Trig came out retarded!?!?! I kid, I kid!
Awwwwwww, Triglet…..drink this Nyquil and enjoy the RNC baby…
Where’s the lil’ one to slick down his hair with a gooober?
Plenty o’ pics of Triglet on the horizon.
AngryBlakGuy: That was plain mean. (I love you!)
I like the Bristol pregnant twice story line. She looks like a hapless little pussy and her mother looks like a neglectful cunt. America’s Maaaaaaaaahhhhhm. The working class Ba Bush!
Seriously, what four month old sleeps so much with all that noise going on? Down Syndrome or not, they must have drugged him. And who in the world would trot out their baby at that time of night just for multiple photo opps? Once to confirm his existence would be enough, but how many times did we see that knocked out baby? There is something seriously wrong with that woman - she keeps showing us how she has no qualms putting herself and her interests before those of her children. I cannot WAIT until she is gone.
NotthatLC: Seriously, I wholeheartedly agree. It’s reprehensible.
Tawmn: exactly…shes the super vagina that represents 37 million cracks with a glass dildo…
im ashamed of myself for that comment [especially because im sure others have said something similar before]……
AngryBlakGuy: Well, actually … how DO we know Trig has Down/Downs/Down’s/whatever Syndrome? I know they all said he does, but I’ve only ever seen the kid zoned out and passed around like an unpopular wedding gift. Not that I care, but it does seem like a weird thing to mention over and over and over. Maybe it’s to establish maternity (i.e., old mom = birth defect = definitely Sarah’s baby). But apparently, younger (under 16) mothers are also at risk. http://www.answers.com/topic/down-syndrome. Whole thing is just strange to me.
Look, I’m not a Dr. — but I’m married to one.
And a pregnant 44 year old is at high risk for complications. So when GILF Sarah Palin gave her speech in Houston, Texas after her water broke, she could have checked into Baylor Children’s hospital ASAP to give birth to that cow-licked little bundle of joy. That hospital would have had the specialists necessary for a delivery of a confirmed downs baby and an aged mother who was delivering one month premature.
Instead, what the liberal media (and those wild bloggers at the orange satan) forget, is that Sarah Palin has a SuperVagina. That’s right. Not only is she super hot and doable, our GILF has kegel muscles that other women (and men) can only dream of.
So instead of doing the normal thing, i.e., checking into the closest fucking hospital, intrepid Sarah, flexing those kegels alltheway, jumps on Alaska Air (betcha wish you wouldn’t have sold the Alaska Governor’s jet on ebay) and flies from Houston to Seattle to Anchorage. Landing in Anchorage, she then drives to Wasahilla or wherever the fuck Levi (who my mother in law described as a “hot hockey playing hunk”) is from, bypassing the major hospitals in Anchorage, and “delivers” baby Trigger in her third world hospital.
The reason: “you can’t have a fishpicker from Texas.”
You can’t make this shit up.
More timelines please.
And nobody here noticed Pipper getting ready to eat that baby? If Lindsey Graham hadn’t screamed just in time, who knows?
I still lean towards thinking that Bristol is the mother of both babies.
But in Sarah’s defense, when you go into labor you do everything you can to get back to your regular Ob/Gyn who has been following your case all along, and to the hospital where that doctor has admitting privileges. (OR of course, to the hospital where your daughter is giving birth). Either way…just sayin.
AngryBlakGuy: Probably the best summation of this weirdness that I’ve seen. Something still doesn’t feel right about the story.
And that’s after checking radon meters all day, when I’m not monitoring the mason-illuminati helo gunship convoys.
Further question: why is Sarah Palin not obviously exhibiting signs of massive post-partum sleep deprivation?
DC Spring: Because she’s saving it all up for Obama and Iran. Can’t wait to watch that bundle of repressed estrogen BLOW (before Nov. 4 of course).
accidental_tourist: Interesting point, what do you reckon a sleep-deprived wingnut moose-fileting lioness has by way of judgment on matters of foreign policy? Between her and Juan, it’s looking like a perfect combustible storm.
I’m pretty certain that Todd (First Dude) is the father of Trig (hence the touch of downs) and Larry Craig is the father of the current baby (second hand transfer via Levi).
liquiddaddy: Looked like Piper was breastfeeding him to me.
Possible, but not likely that Bristol conceived a 2nd child so close to giving birth. Breastfeeding, which a new mother would almost surely have to do, can prevent ovulation. Many women in 3rd world countries breastfeed for up to 2 years because it works like a natural contraceptive.
Watch the RNC convention clips. Bristol has huuuuge knockers and Sarah is at best modestly endowed. Which do you think is lactating right now? I think they just slapped a pillow on Bristol and are hoping to get Sarah into office before the truth comes out. If I’m wrong, the consolation is we’ll get an extra 4 or 5 months of the busty Bristol.. and just in time for when she turns 18 so I won’t have to feel icky about her being underage anymore.
The 3-Legged Man: Young Puck Johnson should lay off the whiskey nipples.
Jingo: That is not always true. While breastfeeding is known to be a natural contraceptive it isn’t full proof. I have heard of cases where conception has occurred during breastfeeding.
If a woman gets her period while breastfeeding or isn’t exclusively breastfeeding (ie. replacing feedings or delaying feedings with formula) the protective effect is diminished. Does anyone know if she even breastfed? Breastfeeding can be difficult for some women. There are also cases engorgement or mastitis. If the baby is premature it may need to have to be supplemented.
Mothermaven
Pro-lactation! Breastfed son for first two years
phildeaux: Ah heard it took the fire dept with the jaws of life to get Trog outta there.
ReasonablePerson: barf bag plz
NotthatLC: If the VPILF is apparently breastfeeding (stepped out of her people), then what do you make of this pixxx?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/29498869@N07/2817782203/
Is that mother’s milk or cow’s milk (mixed with crown royal)? Or has Cindy hooked them up with somethin better so he doesn’t wake up.
Can’t wait to watch that downie kid at the WH Easter Egg Roll.
I want to hear from other passengers on that flight. i want to hear from staff at Mat-Su Hospital. I want to hear from the other kids at Bristol’s high school. I want to I want to see more photos of Sarah’s previous pregnancies compared to the 7 or 8 month mark in this one. I want to see more photos of Bristol’s engorged breasts.
Real reporters would be delivering the goods.