Wonkette
All we see is some old man with a big green screen behind him. *Hopefully* this isn’t what the McCain people decided would be a good idea, which it wouldn’t, for the second time. Oh God now the screen just got “smoky” green like death! Now it’s blue! Code Pink! COUNTRY FIRST.
9:30 CT — This speech will last at least seven or nine hours. He reads slower than anyone else on earth, even illiterate people, and he keeps getting interrupted by Code Pink gals who are then tackled to the cement steps by Secret Service agents. Then everyone shouts USA USA for a few seconds and whiff, poof, another few words of Speech before it happens all over again. God Bless America, this naive wonder of ours.
9:31 — John McCain fights for some random couple, “Bill” and his wife “Sue.” Ha, someone behind me just went “Wow” when he heard that Sue works three jobs. Who knew? Maybe we should give her some government programs and shit if that’s the case.
9:32 — “We let Washington change us.” Oh God, now he’s insulting his own party, “some Republicans” who were corrupt. Oh don’t be so modest, Walnuts — it was all Republican, except you, The Maverick Sun King of Sedona.
9:33 — Now he’s saying that our Latina daughters are “all Americans.” No, they’re Illegals from one of the 70 or 80 Mexicos across the globe. Just because *you* have a Latina daughter from Bangladesh, Walnuts, doesn’t mean we all should like Mexicans.
9:37 — Obama will raise taxes on YOU, the mouth-breather. He will also put a bureaucrat — let’s call him, say, Mr. Gay Pants The Bureaucrat — between you and your doctor, who will be NAKED under an Obama administration.
9:39 — Who’s winning the football game? The Knickerbockers or the Reds?
9:41 — Now he calls education the “civil rights struggle of the 21st century.” Does that mean that when a famous teacher’s birthday is proposed as a federal holiday, he will veto it? Yes, because of the blacks.
9:43 — Blah blah blah economy, let’s talk about The New Oils.
9:44 — “We’ll attack the problem on every front.” THIS IS WHY YOU SCARE US, Firebomb McWarpants.
9:45 — One of those protester gals looked kinda cute. Maybe. And now she’s in Gitmo, forever, or dead. Both.
9:48 — Hmm, what is this Russia of which he speaks? This Russia character apparently has been invading oil-rich nations with the bonus psychotic idea of intimidating neighbor nations. But, well, mostly the oil. Silly weird country, “Russia.”
9:50 — He’s like, I will not send Young People To Die for no good reason. And yet… just… and yet.
9:53 — “I’ve been an imperfect servant to my country… but I’ve always been a servant.” Or something. Well, as long as he’s been serving for X number of years, those “imperfections” just kinda become “stories we laugh about later.”
9:55 — Ooh, apparently he crashed a plane in Vietnam once.
9:56 — When he woke with two broken arms, a crowd of angry people was looking at him. “AND THAT WAS JUST THIS MORNING!” He shouts, everyone goes nuts. “SOME GORILLA WAS RAPIN’ OL’ CINDYPANTS HERE.” Crowd goes… insane.
9:58 — When he was in Jail, in the War, his country adopted him from his father. AND THEN HE SAW A GORILLA RAPIN’ BARRY OBAMA IN THE STREET and that’s why Obama cannot be president, so help me God.
10:01 — He just told us to “teach an illiterate adult to read.” No silly, that’s the Welfare State’s job! And then he mentions a few other ways in which you can put Country Above Self. Basically, they read like a job description for a community organizer on the South Side of Chicago.
10:03 — He just babbled for a full minute about “never giving up,” and everyone clapped like trained monkeys for no reason. What was the last minute of his speech? Maybe he crapped his pants and was just trying to get some help.
10:04 — Well, that was fine. To be quite honest, it was classier than what we’d expected — now, of course, he has that “pitbull” to say the crabby stuff. This works for him. Goodnight, Walnuts.
…I demand more Code Pinkers!
Hot Code Pink gals?
FIVE AND A HALF BACKGROUNDS, ALLEN!!! FIVE AND A HALF BACKGROUNDS!!!
Fuck, I hate that “fake gentle” voice that politicians use when they talk about their anecdotal families that they will never care about after tonight. That voice. It haunts me.
Thank God for the blue screen. We can make the speech interesting in post.
They have to shout USA USA USA! To make the speech seem less like Captain Koon’s watch-up-the-ass story in Pulp Fiction.
BTW - Has Tom Ridge been spending too much time on the tanning bed or are we at orange alert?
And who is taking all the protestors out? Security? Concerned citizens? Members of the Wasilla Militia? Hockey moms who don’t have lipstick? Who?
BACK TO BASICS = $$$$$$$$$$
Oh, this is rich. In the primary debates McCain stood on stage and laughed, rolled his eyes, and made rude comments every time Ron Paul spoke.
So far tonight, FOUR TIMES he has quoted Ron Paul word for word. Without attribution, of course. Asshole.
He says he fought for all these specific people, but he doesn’t say one thing he did for them, other than use them in a speech.
…Wow, so Obama is the candidate of big oil? Not the man who received 2 million dollars in donations from big oil or the woman married to an oil rig worker?
McCain/Palin — Change that will stay the course.
…open markets = we rip you off and you deal with it!
was it just us or did his voice just go out of sync with his lips?!
Applause died down a bit on the Latina daughter of migrant worker thing. Back up to loud applause with the anti-abortion thing.
I am, literally, falling asleep. WALNUTS! speaks in a droning monotone that inspires nothing so much in me as a desire to take a little nap.
Forget Palin - can you imagine this seething cauldron of lassitude giving a State of the Union speech, or conducting talks with foreign leaders?
I am not an ageist, but dear Cthulhu, this man is too old to be the President of the United States.
we believe in santa clause
We believe in people keeping their fruits…
“A culture of life..” what does that mean?! [vomit]
Hey, shithead, it’s a conservative Court!
A culture of a life. What???
We believe in in judges who dispense justice impartially…WHAT????
…would I be called presumptuous if called this a shitty speech!
McCain is anti-adoption… he believes we must keep the fruits of our labor.
“Legislate from the bench” is different than “rule on the constitutionality of a given law being challenged in the courts”. No?
9:32 — “We let Washington change us.” Oh God, now he’s insulting his own party, “some Republicans” who were corrupt. Oh don’t be so modest, Walnuts — it was all Republican, except you, The Maverick Sun King of Sedona.
Best live blog of the week. And it is hard to be corrupted by the lobbyist when you are busy filling your campaign with them.
OMFG, this booing thing is SO pathetic.
He’s bombing! He’s bombing! Not literally, but give him time!!
More than half an hour and not a specific mention of what he’s going to do. Oh — my opponent will raise taxes. Wow.
I do believe in spooks, I do believe in spooks, I so believe in spooks…
He had me barfing at “Cindy is my inspiration.”
Also, his dentures whistle.
I think his tech guys made a deal with Colbert, give me green screen and you’re cool.
The blue screen works too so go at it people!
Is that five lies or six? I lost count.
i will feed children while my opponent will eat them
“Where a bureaucrat stands between you and your doctor”
Boooo!
“Except Abortion doctors!”
Yaaaay! USA USA USA
…yeah, lets cut corporate taxes more! Lord knows that CEO’s need bigger pay checks!
They’re mad good at booing though.
Johnny Mac has totally gone over to the other side, all the fucking Heritage Foundation cliches about economics. He doesn’t understand what the fuck he’s saying. Dipshit.
UASSHOLE UASSHOLE UASSHOLE!
Dear God. Remember when the Republicans were the party of ideas?
Where’s the beef? “I’m going to make things perfect. Won’t tell you how, but cutting taxes will make everything just fine, especially if you make over five million.”
Yeah, what’s this “dispense justice impartially” dogwhistle for, exactly?
BARACK OBAMA IS KING OF WISHES
As a former resident of a country with true socialized medicine, can I say that I never had a bureaucrat standing in the way between me and my doctor. Unless, he was the previous guy in line, of course.
How many pts was the dow down today?
God, he’s a bad speaker.
…and with the comment he just lost Michigan!
There ain’t going to be any markets to invest in, John. After Sarah opened her mouth, the markets tanked. Coincidence? I think not.
AngryBlakGuy: no. AND uninspired. And cliched. AND utter bullshit.
OLD MAN CAN’T TALK.
COMMUNITY colleges? I hope no COMMUNITY organizers are involved with that effort.
Oh, good — he’s gonna cut unmemployment insurance. Have fun picking through the trash, AFL-CIO workers!
No, AngryBlakGuy, you would be called ‘uppity’.
Wait, did he just say he was going to offer *lower-paying* jobs to Americans??
How gracious!
We will wave a magic wand and provide happiness for all who are selfish enough to stand on the shoulders of others.
actually, John, civil rights is still the civil rights issue of this century.
AngryBlakGuy: I kinda went HUH?? on that one too.
Wow…did he just tell people they can expect to get lower paying jobs in his administration?
Well sign me up!
Now on to schools and red meat for the voucher crowd. Know-nothing idiots.
What the fuck is this old coot talking about??
Oh, yeah. GO after the bad teachers. That’s the problem with our schools. Teachers are just SO lazy.
Christ he looks orange next to that blue screen. I kind of wish the protesters had let him fuck this up on his own, because really it is pathetic but now he has an excuse.
hurry up i’m almost out of beer
“What is the value of access to a failing school?”
Spoken like a legacy admission to a $40,000 a year private prep school.
haha, blame the teachers. That certainly worked for Bob Dole.
yes, it’s true…code pink is back…UASSHOLE UASSHOLE UASSHOLE!
Competition in teaching. Right. “Choice” Another abuse of language. {vomit again]
Yay for Choice!
Oh, not that kind of choice.
Choice in school…like believing Jesus walked with the dinosaurs and big oil.
Um, hey, so… did I miss something, or can parents not send their kids to public, private, or charter schools now? Also, home-schooling? I’m sure that the poor don’t have that choice currently, but McCain’s certainly not going to offer that to poor people.
haha.. McCain stumbled over “student, parents” because he was thinking “student parents”, or Bristol as her mother calls her.
AnnieGetYourFun: actually i hate that old man shakey voice. that will likely keep me awake again tonight just like shrillbillie snow voice kept me awake LAST night
i cannot wait for this to end.
can’t talk express
proj ect. Damn, the string keeps getting stuck.
Can someone send out Sarah Palin to find those Styrofoam columns so that there is something behind McCain so id doesn’t look like he is waiting for Jar Jar Binks to show up.
He’s not really used to the teleprompter, is he? Back in the box, old man!
…why does he insist on flashing that hideous, twisted Frankenstein grin?!?!?!
I don’t have cable. Has the stroke happened yet?
Oh noes! We is stop sending teh moneez to Armenia?
Vandy blocked a kick, and are on the 11, running, on the 1 yard line! Fuck you, Spurrier!
Oh, that was sweet! Pan of the crowd, and someone’s checking his BlackBerry! Probably donating to Hopey.
oh God…drilldrilldrilldrill is coming
Um…isn’t some of that 700 Billion going to Iraq who you like very much Walnuts?
Oh god. I panicked when he said attack.
We’ll stop sending money to countries that don’t like us and our vindictive attitude will be blessed by Jeebus.
we. will. drill. new wells. off. shore
killer delivery, oldie.
God, jumping form topic to topic, it’s like listening to Mary Kate Olsen at 4am.
yes, stop aiding those who don’t like you. but yank the $ fast or they might think it’s personal
Nuclear power plants??? Not in my back yard!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
…clean coal is like saying a virgin slut.
TOUCHDOWN! 17-10 Vandy!
electric and hybrid vehicles…” [crickets]
AnnieGetYourFun: CBS showed the Kentucky crowd sitting on their hands for the Latina daughters, but got their mojo back for the “keeping more of you money” line.
“We’ll produce more… en-er-gy at home… We’ll drill! new! wells! And we’ll drill them naaaow!”
John, I’ve been a teacher for 7 years in Brownsville, Brooklyn. Every student, teacher, and parent in our school will be voting for Obama. So leave us out of it. Thanks.
Gambler McCain’s tell is that he blinks when he’s bluffing
All right, education, which the Republicans insist is a local issue, will be taken over by John McCain (at no expense, since he is cutting all taxes). And this leads us into drill hear, drill now.
Plus drilling now will help the enviroment.
Drill Here! Drill Now!
We’ll drill wells offshore now? Okay — exploratory wells. After we do seismic studies. And we’ll start drilling after a rig is freed up. And of course it’ll have to sit around waiting for a refinery. So by “now,” I mean ten years from now.
Um, does he not get that the global economy is directly tied to cheap oil, and once that’s gone, so is the global economy?
Why did I just ask that?
“I will lower your taxes by making you take a lower paying job.”
This is ugly and pathetic in every way, physically and metaphorically.
yes and we’re going to do it all with a record deficit
DoctorCulturae: TRUTH IS LIES, baby.
…WALNUTS! just hacked 4 points off his poll numbers with this beaut of speech!
Did he just say he was going to get energy from the tide?
Is that for real, or did I just make that up?
“Why not drill in Yellowstone — WHO NEEDS IT, MY FRIENDS?”
“It’s an ambitious plan…”
But hell — if we can send a man to Mars, we can find oil where there isn’t any.
From the audience reaction, I’m pretty sure this election is about three things:
1. Drilling for something.
2. Uppity nigrahs.
3. Retarded babies.
He always looks really surprised when people cheer. What a sad old man.
I don’t know whether McCain is pausing for applause or to use his oxygen tank.
Having trouble with that old teleprompter, John? Darn newfangled technology!
I think people are just sleep-clapping now.
What a skeevy twerp. “It’s time to show again how Americans lead.” Like the last 8 years. This is so stoopid my brain is hurting. Pleeze.2.Make.To.Stop.Soon.
OMG!11!!1 PUTINZZZ CUMIN!!1!11111
Jim: The Mighty Ducks are.
AngryBlakGuy: …then again that is something Bristol may be familiar with?
Good god, they actually chanted “drill, baby, drill.”
Reefpilot: Go to CNN.com — they’re streaming it live.
AngryBlakGuy:
…or ‘compassionate conservative’.
COLD WAR 2: THE LEGEND OF CURLY’S OIL
Russia’s got oil? LET’S INVADE. USA USA USA USA!
Dr. Zoidberg: i liked that one too. one of the repub core too.
Walter Sobchak: You wouldn’t like it. He just lays there.
Shitty version of hope/change + smoking fear turd = McCain’s speech
Strappo: “red meat”. bottoms up…..
Wow, he mentioned Iran and terrorist in the same breath - I did not see that coming! Oh, he is the candidate of change! I’m running out right now and getting pregnant with good Christian babies!
That clean energy bullshit line got a great reaction, didn’t it? The morons in the audience are all like “Wha? We like that hippie shit now?”
“The brave people of Georgia need our solidarity and our prayers.”
And that’s all they’re going to get. Wheee.
McCain handles that teleprompter like Captain Hammer:
I hate the homeless …
…ness problem
We have nothing to fear but Palin herself!
WE’LL GET THE MILITARY TO DRILL!!
so elect me, because i’ve already alienated every country thats worth a talking point
I can’t stand millionaires griping about how teachers are lazy and don’t work. If it’s such an easy overprivileged job, you do it.
AngryBlakGuy: only 4?
bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb mcpain
Is Iran harboring Al Qaeda now? They must have come over from Iraq when we invaded.
“I’m not afraid of them. I have guards, and magical coat of invisibility and anti-nuckular death rays. Eat a dick, elite colored city folk!”
I KNOW STUFF. I MEAN IT.
-jSM 3
I’m not afraid of them, as long as I get my nappies, and believe me friends, it’s time for little Johnny to go to beddies soon.
Hey…shout out to Georgia!
I guarantee Sarah Palin couldn’t locate the continent Georgia was located on, if you spotted her three continents.
What’s with the stupid blue background? Did they run out of flags to put back there? Also lapel pins of said flags?
Oh, he said evil. Drink.
so elect me, because i’ve already alienated every country thats worth a talking point.
MY FRIENDS!!!! haha
Holy shit, he was alive during Pearl Harbor?
AngryBlakGuy: Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.
“I know how the military works . . . .”
Yes, you put the dumbest guy in the class into the most expensive aircraft you have.
Result?
He’s lying! There were no cars in 1410 when McCain was 5 years old.
…the last military action he saw was in the Carthaginian War, what the fukk makes anyone think he understands the modern military?!
War is peace
Freedom is slavery
Ignorance is strength
mccains have very bad luck with wars.
WeDeserveThisFate: I live near there. You deserve a Purple Heart for doing that job. Good for you.
How does he know how to do all these things he’s never done?
“I know how the world works. I know the good and evil in it.” For you see my friends, I was there in the Garden of Eden and ate of the tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil when I was a lad.
this is pretty terrible. i promised tonight i would not listen and it would be ‘rage against the machine’.
however, i got sucked in and actually, i think it’s ‘katrina and the waves’.
Man, remind me to never attend “An Evening with John and Cindy McCain” at Carnegie Hall. Between her stoner address to the nation and his robotic re-sets because he doesn’t understand teleprompters…argh. Of course, we’ll be told that “this isn’t his forum” “he’s better with informal settings” but if the D’s are smart, they’ll just chop this up and use it in their ads.
“I hate war. It’s terrible beyond imagination.”
Why cheerlead for it???
I know how the miltary works! I know how to crash a plane! I know how to get in the box! I know how to pretend that I wasn’t part of the problem of Washington!
ZOMG Not the Russian Empire!! Peter the Great was willing to fight for over 20 years to get St. Petersburg! Nothing can stop him! He *will* assert his supremacy in the Balkan Sea!
You mean a horse and buggy pulled up to your house when you were five. Cars were not invented at that time.
Oh, and war is bad.
war is also peace. the dissonance- it burns.
he’s jowls just unfolded
He actually said “HOLY SHIT. THE FUCKING JAPS BOMBED FUCKING PEARL FUCKING HARBOR!”
Listen to my words because my behavior has been exactly the opposite.
John McCain is the oldest man in the universe.
Brokeback_Romney: i can has med-yev-evs?
All your bureaucrats are belong to me.
“I hate war. It’s terrible beyond all imagination.”
That’s why I pretended Baghdad was at peace when I was walking around in that market with 100 troops and six helicopters providing security.
obfuscator: …compassionate conservative = sorry, but you are seriously fukked!
snig: a hard and thankless job. better to be a beer-magnate’s cosseted son-in-law.
SayItWithWookies: From Atlanta to Savannah!
Fuck this shit. This fuckin’ sucks.
“I will use my whitebread grampa sleepytime voice to lull Putin to sleep, then I’ll take my grasp my right arm with my left arm and use that lifeless stubbin to beat the Rooskie to death!”
It is physically painful to listen to this speech - his delivery makes my ears bleed. Of course, I can’t get to a doctor because there’s a damn bureaucrat standing in the way….
Did he just note that “education” was part of the function of government? There goes the Norquist crowd.
hockeymom: You twerp, it’s just north of Florida.
StripesAndPlaids: Heard that one before, in some context or other. Are we at war with Russia now?
He alludes to internetz!!1!!
How does voting for the guy who hates big government healthcare help the kids with autism?
we have to catch up to history and protect our security
reach out that cold dead hand
um. Is it just me or is his face botoxed to all hell?
Constant partisan rancour? Well, thank goodness that has been set aside tonight.
SCARZZZZ!!!!!!1111!!!!11!!
We have to change the way we do business in Washington. I should know, I’ve been there for 28 years.
“The constant partisan rancour is what you heard from my VP choice yesterday.”
Show us your scars, Grampy!
Quick, someone scar Obama, apparently it’s a prerequisite for office.
Yes, we must use Information Technology to change Washington, with a President who can’t use a computer.
My scars are cooler than his are!
Walnuts has the scars on his anus to prove it… not that his guards were gay with him…
Yep, get this over with already. Send out Santanico Pandemonium (Palin) for fucks sake.
no! drink every time he says “my friends”
We need to reach out our hands…I have the scars to prove I can do it, NOT UPPITY HOPEY!!
Scars? No thanks I don’t smoke. [buh-dum-dump]
HA! He’ll reach out to anyone to make this country better. Including, oh, say… Osama Bin Laden?
He’ll reach out his hand after his minions spend two evenings attacking his political enemies…scumbag.
How many “my friends” are we up to? I lost track/passed out after four.
Even the people in the audience is bored.
Time for Obama to go to attack mode on McCain’s record. I cannot believe that the Keating Five and the S&L crisis have hardly been mentioned in this campaign.
…whoa! I just saw a hispanic cutey!
He’s changed Warshington so much that he’s still complaining about how much it sucks. Vote McCain!
We thought of pro-choice. Let’s share.
So you’ll be the Ethics President? Someone else did that too, and his name was…..
Lionel Hutz Esq.: He’s got the $5mil voters locked!
McCain’s going to steal all of Obama’s great ideas…he just admitted it.
Thief.
“I have that record, and the scars to prove it… Senator Obama does not.”
I’m glad he’s gotten over that reluctance to talk about his time in Viet-FUCKIN’-naaam!
…will the fukkin teleprompter break down already?!
Let’s try sharing!??? Good God. Myfriendsmyfriendsmyfriendsmyfriendsmyfriendsmyfriends. Argggggh.
the electorate dig scars
i love you people but this is serously boring. i have to go read some jacobean tragedy now.
Every time he says something about reaching across the aisle and working with others (non republicans) you can feel the nasty mean-spirited assholes in the audience wanting to boo but just restraining themselves.
“Everybody wants to rule the world.” — Tears for Fears. Fears. Oh Fears.
wait!!! now he’s doing the Suffering Servant routine! Isaiah! Jesus!
I swear to god he has a split personality. Bipartisanship? Did he not watch the convention last night?
Strappo: But they’re never hiring when I apply.
UGH. SHUT UP with the “my friends” shit already. AHHHH!
i’ve been a (religious) dick for a VERY LONG TIME!
Is “Miss Fortune” Cindy’s nom-de-stripper pole?
Why is that chick crying? Did she just fine out she was knocked up?
“Servant” is code for “I speak fluent Fundie.”
Would a bureaucrat standing between me and my doctor be better than an insurance company? Just wondering.
I’ve been an imperfect servant. A servant first and last and imperfect always…He tied an onion around his belt, as was the style of the day…Here it is…”Day One of my capitvity….”
Jesus Christ! USA! 5.5 years! POW!
Oh, for fuck’s sake. This isn’t ending, is it?
NOT AGAIN!!!!!
Is he going to tell the funny story of how he burned down an aircraft carrier?
POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW
Oh god — here comes the I-kept-that-watch-in-my-ass-for-five-and-a-half-years moment.
Here comes the “I’m a shitty pilot” story…
jesus, does this never end? my drinking game was based on “my friends” and POW crap. i’m so drunk.
5 1/2 years, 5 1/2 years, 5 1/2 years…
scars qualify a person for the presidency?
wow.
vote for me!
how many times do i have to hear this pow story.
I’m confused. Was McCain a POW? Why didn’t anyone tell me this?!
HA HA HA, those angry gooks — what’s a few bombs between friends?
“I liked to bend a few rules and pick a few fights for the fun of it”
Tell us what you did in the war, Pops. Again. And again. And again. Good thing he never uses his POW status to political advantage.
…WoW, no one told me that McCain was a POW!!!
Hey! I didn’t know he was a POW. This IS news.
oh god, here we go with teh torture stories…
Christopher Walken plays him in the movie we shoot into space to explain why the Earth is desolate…bets?
“Those gooks really did me a solid. Thanks, gooks.”
I’m beginning to sense that Fred Thompson’s speech had some inaccuracies. He said that the Viet Cong broke his arms, didn’t he? Also, that McCain was scared to fly out? Turns out he wasn’t?
He’s certainly saying “I” a lot for someone who isn’t in this election for himself.
those men who saved my life…. the Village People
He was a POW?
Wait a second, I thought the story was that the Vietnamese broke his arms? He did that himself from crashing? Why is he being overly honest in this speech and wrecking his own mythos?
hockeymom: Just gang raped by fourteen Yale fratboys in the bathroom.
This muthafukka didn’t even say he was tort… SHhh! They comin’…
Wait… He was a maverick but then he wasn’t because he learned about people. then he was a maverick again?
This narrative is confusing.
Five and a half years, my friends! Five and a half years!
When is he going to walk out on the shaft of the giant black penis?
FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, ALAN!
AnnieGetYourFun: You’re right, it seems like it’s been going on for 5.5 years.
Dear God. I didn’t know that John McCain served in Viet Nam.
i learned the limits of my selfish independence, and then came home and dumped my faithful crippled wife.
stay classy WALNUTS!!
ok, drinking at “my friends”; not a good idea …..i’m fuck trashed
IF he ends this speech with the statement that he was tortured, and that therefore as President he will make sure that America will not torture again like it has under the Bush admin, then I will forgive them for everything we’ve had to put up with over the last four days. Do it, McCain, just.. please show us that Republicans are still human beings. I mean that sincerely.
This propaganda speech is demoralizing me.
Stop making all these poor old people stand up. And those with the cowboy hats.
At least he doesn’t exploit his POW experience for political points though…
Oh wait.
“I was beginning to learn the limits of my selfish independence. Those men saved my life.”
And from that moment on I vowed never to stay married to a crippled old lady.
At least he admitted that he considered heading home.
Please God, I want to see the cheek lump give birth. Just one little claw, anything.
I notice the actual vets in the crowd seem unimpressed…
I thought about leaving…I thought, you know, fuck the Geneva conventions.
I bet his captors offered him early release becuase he was an insufferable prick.
“You leave now, Yankee Joe! You major #1 asshole!”
Wait. John McCain is a war hero?! Wha-?
I want to hear him tell this complete director’s cut version of his POW story next time he’s asked about his houses
Boy, that orange pancake is on a little thick on the left cheek. Wonder what it’s covering?
You have two minutes John and then I am switching to the Daily Show.
Did you know that Walnuts was tortured while he was a POW?!?! How did he keep this stuff under wraps for so long?
Oh, I just saw the douchebag who keeps starting the stupid chants that don’t take.
I’m still puzzled by the idea that he “turned down” early release as a POW.
How did that work, exactly?
The North Vietnamese could have just thrown him on a plane, or through the gate of the Swedish Embassy.
OK, it’s time for Daily Show. Fuck John’s testifyin’. “I was a piec eof flotsam on the sea of life. I was a mess. I had no friends. I was friendless. Then I met these wonderful people. They were the friends of the friendless. Now I have friends. Good friends. True friends. FRIENDS.”
They worked him over. Hard. Long. Mmmmmm. Anal rape is hard to hide.
…did he say the guard “worked him over”? The butt-sex maybe?
“A lot of prisoners had it much worse…” “YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!”
I was a POW. What else do you assholes need to know!!!!
I’m voting for John McCain — for president of Vietnam!
That’s a lot of tapping going on between cells. His friend said all of that?! Riiieeeleee?
Then I went home and dumped my crippled wife for a hot, rich adolescent who I lied to about my age.
Oh dear Cthulh!
I love you, Wonkette, but this is all I can stand - last night’s Daily Show is coming on (I live in Wyoming, it’s 9:00 now), so it’s off to soothe my soul with some sweet, sweet Stewart.
The rest of you brave, drunk, souls - good night!
I wasn’t my own man = BRAINWASHED OMG!!
I kind of think that growing up black in this society might give you some kind of scars. Not that it’s for me to say, being only swarthy at most.
The end.
Now go to sleep, America.
he’s tugging at my heart strings. i really feel for the man.
oh shit!!! new britney spears cunt shot!!!
Abramoff got four years in prison. FOUR MORE YEARS!!FOUR MORE YEARS!!
Hey, where’s his flag pin, btw?
Make it hurt so good, Tranh.
The guy is a Masochist. Did you see his smile when he thought of his scars.
WonksRunAmuck:
“I liked to bend a few rules and pick a few fights for the fun of it”
Translation: I enjoyed being a true King Prick every chance I got. Yeah, I was that guy.
I wish the Giants/Native American game would’ve gone into overtime.
My friend Brian has a great line the Dems can use (FOR A SMALL FEE).
Republicans believe in the sanctity of life….but only from conception to birth. After that, fuck you, Suckkka.
Follow with the obvious…
obfuscator: Holy jeebus crizzum. I’m reading this, Kos, and 538 simultaneously and that’s the first thing anyone has said that made me laugh out loud. Does that mean I’m a racist / can I be President now?
The intonation is his voice is excrutiatingly irritating.
jagorev: If it’s any consolation, I’ve been yelling it at my TV several times tonight.
WALNUTS!, if you’re going to say Barry thinks he’s Jesus, then at LEAST admit that you’ve been playing the I WAS TORTURED/I AM A MARTYR CARD FOR ALL FUCKING TIME
ms_mcgee: I thought that too, but then I remembered those Navy guys learn Morse code.
Networks have just cut to local news — at least that’s what I hope.
He’s lucky that his country is so wealthy. If she was like Bhutan or Zimbabwe or something, he’d leave it right quick to get to a rich one.
“I wasn’t my own man anymore, I was my country’s”… So was it your country that inspired you to ditch the long-suffering wife for the rich tail, or was that you, Walnuts?
If they wanted the POW angle, they should have nominated Bob Crane, at least he could give a speech.
AnnieGetYourFun: Dick Wolf didn’t write Fred’s speech last night, so he was a little off his feed. Plus, who wants to research when there’s whiskey to be drunk.
You think you’re not the hero anointed to save this country? Ummm, did you catch your own opening video?
“I’m not running because I think I’m blessed with personal greatness and history has somehow anointed me to save her in her hour of need.”
No? Didn’t you see the video?
as long as you braw breath. ….aw hell
“Teach un milliterate adult too reed.”
Feed a hungry child… to my wife.
Someone teach this illiterate old man to read from teleprompters
Now he sounds like a community organizer.
Ha…teach an illiterate adult to read…starting with me.
Irony!!!!!
Teach a illi…uh, teach an illiterate adult to read.
Seriously, I am kind of in awe of what he went through. It was gutty and amazing.
I don’t mind him telling this story, over and over again (though, why the teleprompter…doesn’t he know it?).
What’s really annoying….all the douchey looking frat boys in the audience who wouldn’t volunteer to serve their country if their life depended on it. Nope, that’s for the poor folk.
“…Feed a hungry child…” to me.
Love, Zombie John McCain
Feed a hungry child.
Fuck fucking fuck John McCain and his fucking fuck bullshit story.
I was a POW = I was a fucking pussy
I fought against my captors = I tried to limit the number of blow jobs I gave each day
I am a hero = dear Jesus, I couldn’t possibly be worse than w; vote for me goddammit!
SERVE A CAUSE GREATER THAN YOURSELF? OH YOU MEAN LIKE COMMUNITY ORGANIZING?
Hypocritical fucks.
A cause greater than yourself?! Like…community service?
obfuscator: awesome. I giggled.
Ha, you guys see the guy waving the sign that said “THE MAVRICK”?
Work to make your country better, except for organizing actively in your communities.
Eh, I don’t know. This part isn’t as bad at the first 2387 minutes.
Construct a series of window displays on home safety!
Or go to a dairy and learn how milk is made.
If he believes that, why has he been sucking up to the guy who said to go shopping and drive more for a stronger America?
ahahahaha
Not only is he a POW, he’s an American. Fight!!!!!
…can we get one more interruption please?!
“Nothing brings greater happiness in life than to serve a cause that makes rich people awesomer and lets me make this creepy smile fifty fucking times a day.”
“FIGHT WITH ME!?!?!?” Is he threatening us? Jesus, I’m terrified.
Did he just encourage Americans to become community organizers?!?!
“…teach an ill-ill-illiterate adult to r-read…”
This shit writes itself.
This old man is telling me to fight him
Fight for your right to party!
I’ll fight with you, John. I’ll even tie one hand behind my back.
Careful WALNUTS!, that stroke might be coming soon…
Oh my god, this is so bad.
watching the RNC, i can totally see how he might forget that most adults aren’t illiterate.
I am going to stand up for my cuntry by voting for Obama. Where’s my debit card?
He won’t stop. I think they just fed his teleprompter into some sort of twitter page or something.
Didn’t Kucinich just do this speech?
Fight for the right of white people everywhere! And closeted homosexual firearms owners!
zsa zsa gabor says: YES !!!!! YES!!!!
just after the “teach an illiterate adult line” camera pans to 50 year old guy with sign that says “the mavrick” now that is priceless.
Can he not raise his arms above his shoulders?
Our long national nightmare is over — Gerald Ford ‘74
God damn Tesla and the reproduction of sound I have U.S.A….! Rolling around again and again in my head, sort of like in 2004 when I was just minding my own business and think of “FOUR MORE YEARS!!!”, boy fascism is a curse to let down, it is a curse to let down, let’s see if walnuts has the opportunity to speak his mind, “we’ll talk about that later” yeah because he doesn’t have a teleprompter telling him what to say, YEAH.
I bet Raisin McCain tastes like linament and Werther’s. Yuck!
But see, I kinda hate justice and opportunity for all, y’know?
Well that was…weird.
That’s it??? I’d give that about 2 out of 10 on excitement. 0 out of 10 on information and policy detail. Now someone go tuck McCain in bed…he looks sleepy.
If gramps becomes prez, goodbye North Vietnam. Prune pudding is a dish best served cold.
I’ve bailed to go to Stewart…
Oh we’re raising McCain again — with picks and shovels and an old incantation.
I heard some drunken gal took off her clothes and started screaming obscenities in the middle of WALNUTS!’s speech. Can anyone elaborate?
I’m so inspired. I want to stand up and fight against shitty campaign speeches now.
AnnieGetYourFun:i got a lil’ cognitive dissonance going on too… they broke him?
Stand up and improve your country, just don’t become a community organizer.
Stand up and fight for NARCISSISM, my friends!
they’re ALMOST clapping in synch. well done.
I think he was trying (in vain) to channel Hopey and Kucinich at the end. Stand up and fight, America! Fight with me!
“and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom.”
Walter Sobchak: You’re qualified to be prezidints only if you were tortured for something and a half years and are ever so reticent to talk about it.
god that was boring. more wine please! did i hear that the daily show was on…sweet? PS what dickface wrote the song “RAISING MCCAIN”??? Howev: that’s cause he got in big troubs with EVERY other song he played as all the bands hated him.
WAVE AT US MORE, I CAN HARDLY GET ENOUGH
Where’s WALNUTS! family? Namely his black daughter?
What song is that? I already hated it. Now the hate is totally more hateful. Also, I feel like clubbing a homo. Who is with me?
LOUD REPUBLICAN NOISES MAKE ME HORNY.
McCain/Palin — Pork for Reform!
No balloons? That’s unpatriotic.
Is it really true that John McCain was a Prisoner of War? I can’t believe that no one has ever mentioned it until now!!! Man, that guy can keep a secret can’t he!
So it’s the POW thing that annointed him. About 600 guys who were in their with him. Can we interview some of the other 600, see if they finished in at least the top half of their class, or at least weren’t responsible for a billion dollar S&L crisis? Can we get Max Cleland? I know he wasn’t a POW, but limbs should count too.
Where da balloons?
“Join the military, become a teacher, but whatever you do, do not EVER become a community organizer. Those guys are bitches and probably gay like Obama whom I have nothing bad to say about.”
Balloon drop? Our Fireworks OWNED your balloon drop, suckas
Shit, finally. I fucking hate balloons.
Sarah looks like she’s avoiding him on the stage. If he doesn’t watch it, she’ll go Tracy Flick on his ass and push him off the stage.
WTF is it with closing a convention with country music? Wait; that’s an oxymoron isn’t it?
Whaddya bet the MSM says Walnuts! hit it out of the park like they have done about every single gawdamn speech for the last two weeks?
is this the theme from “Fiefel goes west”
Wow, that is a LOT of white people up there on stage. And Briget.
There’s the daughter! He looks SO AWKWARD! Even while hugging his daughter
Barracuda!?!?!?!? Heart, you b-s
USA USA USA WE ARE GAY USA USA USA!
“John McCain understands the struggles of non-beer heiresses. I mean, he said their NAMES. I didn’t even know they HAD names!”
To sum up: “Dear Preznit Dubya, eat a bag of dicks. Sincerely yours, John McCain”
Those are not balloons dropping. Those are the eggs of millions of teen girls, just waiting to be fertilized.
Jim/Sarah/Ken - were the upper levels as empty as the other night?
“Barracuda”??? Nancy Wilson would NOT approve.
They’re going out on “Barracuda”? All right!!
From Wikipedia:
“In 1977 Heart’s record label, Mushroom Records, fueled rumors that Ann and Nancy were lesbian lovers by running a full-page ad in Rolling Stone showing the sisters bare-shouldered and suggestively captioned, “It was only our first time”. When a reporter suggested, backstage after a live appearance, that the sisters were sex partners, Ann returned to her hotel room and wrote the lyrics to “Barracuda” to relieve her frustration.”
No wonder Palin sounded so energetic last night — next to McPain, she was.
Tweety thinks the audience is applauding failure and McCain’s divorce (from the administration).
Yay for failure…let’s have more!
YESSSS! HEART! BARRACUDA!
We all win.
Barracuda? Oh, Lord Tundering Jesus.
wtf is wrong with them? WHY IS THAT BABY IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL THAT INSANITY?!
They just had to play “Barracuda”, didn’t they? God this is making me sick.
On the catwalk/I’m too sexy for this song…
Worst. Speech. Ever. And this was a convention full of poor speeches. What a fiasco. If I was a scrillion dollar donor to the RNC, I’d think about asking for my $$ back. Ridiculous. Her speech last night was a shrill harridan’s call to destroy the world as we know it, while his tonight was the random ramblings of a tired old man (and boy does he look old tonight). If he dies on the trail, it’s her don’t forget.
Good to see Levi is out of his box for one more night (please respect our family’s privacy)
He looks awful and that speech was awful.
really? barracuda?
All right; you knocked-up the chosen VP’s daughter–OK sure; come one stage with us.
I’m never listening to Heart again.
Wow, they melded Bristol and Levi’s hands together. Probably a good idea, maybe? Or not?
http://blogs.wsj.com/washwire/2008/09/04/green-screens-protests-disrupt-mccains-speech
UPDATE: CodePink spokesman Jean Stevens confirmed that the group was responsible. She said the two women forced out of the hall by security were Elizabeth Hourican, 38 years old, of Phoenix and Nancy Mancias, 38, of San Francisco. Both women are fulltime activists, Stevens said, adding that they had obtained passes to the convention from disaffected Republicans and wore pink slips saying “McCain Equals More War.”
you know how people try and compliment old ladies by saying they look the younger than their own offspring?
well, in grandma mccain’s case its true.
Are those fireworks ‘lip-synced’ from the Chinese Olympics?
obfuscator: Does that speech count? Because I can pretend I watched it.
Smooth Barracuda? Is this a message about Palin’s grooming habits?
“We Make History”
Yep, by waisting three days of my life and not telling me anything you plan to do if you are president.
And isn’t it a bit elitist to have your own song?
Fucking BARRACUDA! Yes! Heart and douchey republicans complete me.
I can totally five star this fucker on Guitar Hero III, BTW.
(ON HARD. YEAH, my guitarist’s name is Larry Craig)
Stewart sooo crushed it on the “community organizer” bit.
Damn… cliche balloons… Obama’s fireworks kicked his balloons tied asses!
The barracuda is a ray-finned fish known for its large size and fearsome appearance. Its body is long, fairly compressed, and covered with small, smooth scales. It is of the genus Sphyraena, the only genus in the family Sphyraenidae.
Alright, I’m gonna say it: I thought that was the best fucking speech I have ever head from John McCain. I saw him in a completely different light. You may commence the beatdown…
“Barracuda” huh? I hope Ann Wilson and Nancy Wilson sue the shit out of that cunty trollop.
Earth Wind and Fire!?! They’re KILLING me. Philip Baily, I’m kicking your azz! Percussively, of course.
McCain’s looking a little tired out there, he just introduced himself to Sarah Palin…
Wait…guys…dude dude…dude, dude, dude….dude…was he in Vietnam or something?
Now it’s some Earth, Wind, and Fire. The GOP shouldn’t be allowed to use music by artists who wouldn’t vote for them.
“If the real thing don’t do the trick
You’d better make up something, quick.”
mcgeorge: Beat you with this bar that you set so low that it was actually lying at my feet?
snig: for some common sense from one of his fellow POWs, see
http://bravenewfilms.org/blog/51429-former-pow-says-mccain-is-not-cut-out-to-be-president
mcgeorge: Wait, there was a speech on tonight? I flipped over to it, but I thought it was my granpa’s video will, so I turned it back to football.
this is mccain’s “Lovin’ mix”. just try to resist
mcgeorge: Wait, seriously?
I mean, I guess in the speech he tried to present a different “image”–that of service and unity and stuff. But all the “facts” and “plans” were lies and distortions.
They played “Barracuda” earlier, too. Around 6pm. It was humorous seeing the dustfarts in the audience look around apprehensively. I’m sure the futuristic sound of electric guitars really threw them.
Oh my god, poor Andrea Mitchell is being eaten alive by those balloons!
OMG, Andrea Mitchell is bored out of her mind and is being eaten by balloons.
If only the crowd had started chanting “Four More Years!” Because after three days, apparently there is nothing they are going to do differently.
mcgeorge: Nope. Loved it. Defined very clearly where he wants America to go…
Nice song choice: “Celebration” by Kool & the Gang. I bet that’s what’s playing in every home where the owners can’t afford gas, food, or their mortgage payment anymore. Kind of sums up the GOP, right?
CivicHoliday: jinx!
Kool and the Gang… Man, it’s time for Drop Squad!
With the flyaway jacket Cindy McCunt looks like she is 5 1/2 months. Get these stupid fucks off the teevee already and start talking shit about them pleez.
Yes, he almost seemed human for a moment. Doomed, confused, human.
He should have just played a video of Kucinich from the DNC for the “stand up! stand up!” part.
Well, that happened. Everyone in the auditorium can stop being offensive to everyone watching the teevee and go home and back to being offensive to everyone they know.
What? Kelly ODonnel just said McCain has been resistant to talk about his time as a POW. That really is news. I never new that.
AnnieGetYourFun: I think you mean mooing.
Colbert’s got more green screen to play with…
The old man in the crowd popping balloons very angrily during “Celebration” A++++.
So if his candidacy is about some new plan for government change and purification in DC, he must be talking about some third party that he’s neglected to tell us about.
holy fucking fuck did anyone see the new seinfeld / bill gates commercial?
AnnieGetYourFun: industrial adhesive. He can’t git awayee naw!
chris wallace of FUX is a complete shit who is actually arguing with wolfson, defending mccain. he’s alleged to be the question asker.
piece o shit that man.
The CNN cameramen are competing to find the worst white people dancing.
I hate everyone on this screen right now.
So that’s it? School vouchers, something about community colleges, and the army forfuckever in Iraq? It’s a speech made of ricecake!
From my unnamed friend who’s been teleprompting at this thing:
“Giuliani found a water bottle waiting for him at the lectern, which he downed during his rehearsal. Little did he know that it was actually Congressman Fred Thompson of Tennessee’s water, and he had already taken a sip out of it!
Giuliani’s wife sneezed and nobody said anything. She said “thank you.” Then everybody said “bless you.”
Mike Huckabee and Fred Thompson are very very nice, and I must admit, likable. Despite the fact that Giuliani was also nice and said I was “great,” Giuliani is not. He oozes sleaze. And he refused to give a speech at the convention if it didn’t mention September 11. That’s kind of his thing I guess. Mentioning September 11.”
used without permission.
Walter Sobchak: No - what happened?
WeDeserveThisFate: BK in the house!
Ann and Nancy Wilson are pissed at the Republican Party and have fired off a cease and desist letter to the McCain/Palin campaign. http://www.tmz.com/2008/09/04/republicans-lack-heart/
grendel:
If the real thing dont do the trick
No, you better make up something quick
You gonna burn burn burn burn it to the wick
Ooooooohhhh, barra barracuda.
It doesn’t seem to be relevant to the party faithful that the GOP has been mostly running the show for the last eight years. Or that seven of the nine Supreme Court Justices were appointed by Republican Presidents. Or that the list of partisan and/or mismanagement outrages under Bush should be long enough to discourage all but the partisan optimist.
so, my girlfriend says Cindy can’t stand up straight. I say it’s because he has to fuck her weirdly. because of his arm stuffs.
McCain: “I know some of you have been left behind in the changing economy, and it often sees that your government hasn’t even noticed. Government assistance for the unemployed workers was designed for the economy of the 1950s. That’s going to change on my watch. … We will use our community colleges to help train people for new opportunities in their communities.”
Hmm, where have I heard that before?
GW Bush, 2004: “We’re not training enough people to fill the jobs of the 21st century. There’s a skills gap.”
Same year: “President Bush wants to spend $250 million to help the nation’s 1,100 community colleges train workers for a 21st century economy.”
Should have been liveblogging the CSPAN calls after the speech. Whoa Nelly.
I liked the part where he talked about Palin and, stumbling over his delivery, produced this image:
“She’s worked with her hands and nose …”
Number of times Obama used “I” in his acceptance speech: 57
McCain: 100
Now, tell me again: Which candidate’s obsessed wth himself?
What was this about a boy whose ‘descendants’ were on the Mayflower?
DoctorCulturae: Bacteria on our food. Yumilicious.
Norah O’Donnell posits that Obama will now have a problem with non-college-educated women b/c of Palin. Huh?! This woman, who would not PERMIT me to care for my own body, etc.?! Excuse me, but I’ll not be asking that woman PERMISSION for anything.
McCain was a POW?
Democratica: Whoopsie… I forgot I graduated from college and I’m already in the tank for B.O. Anyhoodle, still hatin’ on Sarah P.
How to bite the ass of the republicans that cause us grief:
1. John McCain was leader of the Keating Five, and interceded on behalf of convict Charles Keating in the S&L fraud which cost taxpayers billions.
2. John McCain got a taxpayer-funded education at the US Naval Academy because his father and grandfather were both U.S. Navy admirals.
3. John McCain never made it to admiral, actually he was lucky to have been able to keep his citizenship.
4. John McCain graduated 895th in a class of 900, that’s fifth from the bottom at the US Naval Academy at Annapolis for those of you who were lifers.
5. John McCain was considered to be an ace in the Viet Nam War for destroying five aircraft. However, it should be noted that each of those downed aircraft were ours. He was received that “ACE” status from the Vietnamese.
6. John McCain pledged the proceeds from public campaign financing, which ‘reform’ legislation is one of his major ‘credits’, to collateralize a loan. Then he broke his own law by saying he was not bound by his pledge.
and some from column “B”
1. Sarah didn’t save the good folks a dime on their state taxes, as Alaska doesn’t have a state personal income tax.
2. The city where she got her leadership experience had a population that was double the number of students at my high school on a non-holiday weekday.
3. The state of Alaska has a population that is about one sixth the population of the city of Los Angeles, which has a mayor that fools around with the local Latina news chick. He’s an incompetent bumbling big mouth asshole too.
4. The hard words on her teleprompter were spelled out phonetically.
TeddyS: Yeah, I heard that too… odd it hasn’t come up before tonight…
NoWireHangers: Of course the plans are flawed (though I’m not a fan of Democratic education plans). For the first time, I understood the sacrifice he made, and how it changed him. I saw him like he was in 2000, someone with huge integrity. Unfortunately, it’s 2008.
Ah, the beauty of hearing Walnuts speak about adult illiteracy while someone held up a sign that read “MAVRICK.” Beautiful. Irony, you are a lovely thing.
magic titty: totally true! she sort of limped across the stage at the end. maybe last night was their once-a-month ’sexy time’
We played a fun drinking game: Every time the word “Maverick” was mentioned, or “POW” status was invoked, or a minority in the audience was shown, a drink was had. This was later amended to include anytime Walnuts blinked more than three times, quickly, in a row. Now I’m hammered.
Republicans love lime green!
jasonelias: One of the nice things about oldtimers disease is
that you’re always meeting new people, even in your own home. All of those
homes, everywhere, everytime.
http://boskolives.wordpress.com/2008/04/09/connecting-a-few-dots/
So the Republican line is that major disasters are okay if you can apply minor fixes. McCain helped destroy a country, but he supported the surge that made it a tiny bit safer… Yay McCain. Bristol Palin gets pregnant, but she decided to keep the baby…. Yay Bristol. The Bush Admin destroyed the economy, but he gave us a few hundred dollars in tax rebates… Yay Bush Admin. Cheney shoots a guy in the face, but offered to give him a band-aid………………. What? Even Republicans know Cheney’s a jerk.
Lindsey, I wish I could quit you boy!
ForeignSickSpecialist: And it smells like Pappy.
magic titty: Yeah, he has to bite her to stay balanced. After 176 years of this she has some nerve damage.
If GMILF can field dress a moose, she can gut and hang this old coot. She could lure him into the woods under the guise of running away slowly, for example…. McCain would call off the Secret Service folk himself in anticipation of doing the wild thing with Nanookie of the North. Go on, Sarah, be a hero! That bastard fought your earmarks for the meth-cookers in your town; a good field-dressing will set him straight.
Thank you all for watching so I didn’t have to.
Did you see that kid yawn? He caught it from me. It works even through teevee.
Did you guys know he used to be a POW? It’s true! http://www.entertonement.com/clips/22522/John-McCain/RNC-2008-John-McCain-Speech/RNC-2008-Day-4/I-was-never-the-same-again
Audio from the speech is up here: http://www.entertonement.com/collections/2917/RNC-2008-John-McCain-Speech
i especially appreciated uncle Fred’s waxing nostalgic about the corvette….