Wonkette
- NOT IMPRESSED WITH PALIN’S SPEECH: “Let’s be honest about what we saw: a woman who was thrust into the presidential race in a farce worthy of Preston Sturges, reciting a speech written by Matthew Scully, faking as hard as she could fake, and lying as fast as she could lie.” Question: Why is Dave Weigel such a terrible sexist? [Reason]
The movie we have been watching since last Friday is “Pink Flamingos.”
Why does Weigel hate ovaries? I have ovaries! Why do you hate me so much, Dave?
She’s still involved in scandalous stuffs, and she is completely fucked for the kid thing…
What does she do? Attack Barry, “the opponent.”
I remember Biden saying in an annoying rhetoric “That’s not change, that’s more of the same,” and thinking at the time that he was a burnt out light switch, but not it seems to make sense.
And now an even deeper senseless rant:
Fuck this fucking goddamn fucking bitch and the candidate she’s caretaking. Oh and fuck hockey too.
Sorry hockey fans, but one of your own has caused this.
And sorry to Canada too, I know this election isn’t your fault.
Sexists.
Vanity Smurf: “Kill everyone now! Condone first degree murder! Advocate cannibalism! Eat shit! Filth is my politics! Filth is my life!”
Sarah Palin looked kind of creeped out by McCain last night. Maybe she is human after all.
Has anyone spotted Hillary yet? Is she sharpening her pitchfork?
Every time I asked myself why she was speaking like an elementary school teacher, my question was answered when the camera panned the audience.
Vanity Smurf: MORE COWBELL SODOMY.
I just can’t bear the thought of someone who sounds like Ed Rooney’s secretary in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off giving a press conference. Last night I wanted to jam knitting needles in my ears.
I think they should just end the RNC right now. McCain’s speech is gonna suck and then all the delegates will be reminded that he is at the top of the ticket and not Palin, and be sad.
Preston Sturges is the right name to drop in this situation. I wish Nanookie’s husband was played by Eddie Bracken.
grendel: I’ve been wondering the same thing. I think Hillary, Kay Bailey Hutchison, and Olympia Snowe are lying in wait to fuck this hayseed up.
I wanna see him do jumping jacks tonight. Amuse ME.
shortsshortsshorts: Easy shorts; let out a little inseam, ‘coz your nuts are in a knot.
If hockey and politics shared any natural synergy, a raving dipshit named Don Cherry woulda been president of Canuckistan a LONG time ago. Instead, he’s just a televised hockey bingo caller, much like Sarah was and soon will be again.
BTW: Insidious Rovesque plot developing - - - by framing its questioning of Palin’s credentials as SEXIST!!! attacks by the liberal media, which is SEXIST!!!, Rover and co. hope this’ll resonate with the Hilltards. From Gerry Ferraro on down, they’ve decried sexism in the media as Hillz’ Achilles heel, what ultimately brought her down, and NONE of the boys stood up to defend her against the media. Now, those Hilltards are seeing the very same apparition playing out against ANOTHER chick, and will vote for her just to get even with that damned SEXIST!!! liberal media.
Q: Do you agree with any of Palin’s policies?
A: Fuck no, but we’ve GOT to take a stand against this SEXIST!!! media!!! Anything less would appease the SEXIST!!! media!!!
Hart88: I was deeply offended by what she had to say, and I was deeply fucking annoyed by the goddamn voice she said it in. Jesus Christ.
What’s the chance that McCain says that Obama doesn’t have executive experience (ignoring McCain’s own lack thereof)?
Someone should compare the number of people and the budget involved in running the Obama08 campaign vs. running Alaska… I bet there’s more staff and budget in the campaign, plus its an actual competition vs. an entrenched political dynasty. It’s not like the Government of the State of Washington was competing to run Alaska…
shortsshortsshorts: “Well Mrs. Palin, there are two kinds of people: MY kind of people, and assholes. It’s rather obvious which category you fit into. Have a nice day.”
“Sarah Palin, you stand convicted of assholeism! Your proper punishment will now take place. Look pretty for the picture, Sarah!”
It’s all too easy. Here we’ve been grasping at Northern Exposure, Petticoat Juniction, Election, Mean Girls… and all along it’s been a John Waters movie.
The commenters at Reason may be some of the most gleeful dirt-eaters I’ve ever seen.
Canuckledragger: The sexist liberal media and those Hollywood celebrities.
Note: the only Hollywood celebrities I know is that dude that dresses up like Jack Sparrow on Hollywood/Highland and will try and look up your skirt.
grendel: But California was planning to invade until the whole budget thing.
grendel: D’j'you see last night’s Daily Show?
Newt Gingrich: “She really has more executive experience than Obama or Biden.”
Stewart: “Or McCain.”
Gingrich: “Right. …wait.”
dave’s a dick
…and thus Sara Smith fulfills her promise to enable more click-throughs to her new BFFs at Reason.
tunamelt: i love that jack sparrow dude.
Oh, and Dave Weigel is sexist because he hates America, you commies.
I think you’re arguments are petty. I think your scared!
…just a little reflection here. Her son is currently in the the military and I’m pretty sure that “hockey” isn’t part of basic training. So exactly how is she a fukkin “Hockey Mom”? Unless of course they use Trig the amazing tard baby as a hockey puck?!
ladymacbeth: Takes all kinds, baby, takes all kinds.
Meanwhile, where is Madam Mukluk? Do they have her hidden in an undisclosed location?
AngryBlakGuy: Actually, it’s Bristol.
Oh lookie right here, Sarah Palin’s own fancy swirly handwriting praising her city council for bringing in 420k for a new poop tank in Wasilla. What earmarks?!
In Defense of Georgia and Ukraine, John McCain will declare to the convention “we are all Caucasians” and a quick glance at the convention will prove him correct.
She’s the world’s most annoying liar. She rates no snark from me. Uber-Christian Hypocrites make me cranky.
JadedDIssonance: I think “your” is really spelled you’re. Just sayin…
AngryBlakGuy: Easy on the baby. Just think Sasha and her cute little “Queen” wave. That is how I get around this abortion.
You know, I’m nudging by grizzled chin toward 50, and I’ve hated a lot of people over the years. But I honestly can’t recall someone who was capable of producing such a massive wellspring of vitriol in me with such stunning speed. She’s not humoruous in either the intended or ironic sense. She’s just a wretched, hateful, conniving piece of dung. I never got a chance to use this the first time around, but all I want to scream at her is “eat a bag of dicks.”
Sarah, you ignorant slut! How many neocons did you sleep with to get this position?
Sire Says: are you sure that’s really her handwriting? I expected like little hearts over the dots in ‘i’s
unstripted: This might be the funniest thing I’ve read all year.
Does she remind anyone else of some long-lost, insipid Amy Poehler character?
Itsjustme: Communist!
RaptorAvatar: Oh my God, Glasses! is the baby from “Baby Mama”.
AngryBlakGuy: her daughter learned all about tonsil hockey in abstinence education, apparently.
Little known fact: Famed “screwball comedy” director Preston Sturges’ real name was Edmund Preston Biden. I think there’s another Biden who’s gonna be directing the shit out of her a couple weeks hence.
Strictly for the Tardcore: Itsjustme: …ehhhh, generally I wouldn’t go after someones kids, but in this particular campaign I digress! Its one thing to use your kids as a background prop, most politicians do. But it is an entirely different animal when you use your family and kids as a slogan/talking point/wedge issue like the McCain campaign has for the past 3 days. She acts like she should get a fukkin pat on the back for not aborting her Downs Syndrome baby. Then she has the nerve to complain about a lack of privacy for her children, all the while throwing her own daughter under the bus in an attempt to cover her own ass. And last but not least the fact that she is preeminent example of judging other peoples private lives and hypocritically not wanting the same for herself. Democratic politics has resembled a WWF match where the referee is always distracted while the hero is getting tagged team and beaten with folding chairs and frankly I’m tired of it. If any Democrat(not even to mention Barack Obama) was in this position every media outlet and every right wing hack would be taking him to task on his parenting skills. All that being said I don’t give a flying rats ass if anything I say is politically correct, its about time a few of us progressive pulled out the lead pipes and brass knuckles and went to work!!!
Canuckledragger: OMG! Did you paste that from Hillaryis44?
Doglessliberal: …and eventually Levi know how to score.
AngryBlakGuy: …and with that rant I think I just lived up to my screen name!
grendel: Yeah, but unfortunately being a commanding officer in the US Navy IS executive experience.
But that voice… I wonder if she’s ever fed anyone into a wood-chipper.
AngryBlakGuy: Wait… you’re a GUY!?
Seriously, though, that pretty much summed up everything I’ve been trying to put into words since, I dunno, June or so.
Let me say this, sir: If you want to give Johnny WalNUTS! and the Sarahcuda a Sopranos-style beatdown, I will gladly be the guy to give them the full nelson while you do what you do.
AngryBlakGuy: and we love you for it.
ProfessorJukes: When did he command anything? As far as I can tell he was a fuck-up in the Navy and wrecked a bunch of planes before wrecking his last one and getting captured.
In the inevitable movie, will she be played by Fran Drescher? Admittedly, Fran is hotter, though.
Does anyone else remember last summer, when Cheney’s office was trying to convince everyone that the VP isn’t actually part of the executive branch? Obviously, Cheney thinks Palin’s totally unqualified too.
AngryBlakGuy: Right the fuck on, dude.
Strictly for the Tardcore: I saw that- it made my freakin’ night. That and when on Colbert the scion of Eisenhower said she’d left the Republican Party 2 weeks ago. I just need to believe that more of us will go vote than them…
ProfessorJukes: & grendel: Walnuts’ father and grandfather were admirals, so he was a “legacy” as far as Annapolis was concerned. He graduated at the bottom of his class. His family connections helped him rise through the ranks, but he topped out as a lieutenant commander–not exactly flag rank. He trashed five airplanes which cost a couple million $ a piece–that never looks good on a “fit rep”. As for “executive” experience–it’s the MILITARY, for crying out loud! You give an order and subordinates obey. If they don’t, you either throw them in the brig or shoot their asses dead. Washington doesn’t quite work that way.
Since Palin is opposed to PC politics, why cant we call her baby a “retard”? “Special needs” is a PC term.
AngryBlakGuy: wow. impressive and heartening. nice combination.
Your right, this whole election season has been just like ‘The Palm Beach Story’, with Hilary as Myrna Loy, Obama as Joel McRea, WALNUTS! as Rudy Vallee, Palin as Mary Astor, and Bush playing ‘The Weiner King’.
TGY: Again, I push for Jennifer Coolidge. Think of Coolidge in A Mighty Wind. That’s our Sarah!
AngryBlakGuy: “Then she has the nerve to complain about a lack of privacy for her children, all the while throwing her own daughter under the bus in an attempt to cover her own ass” for her lack of parenting skills as a member of an evangeligical church (that espouses no matress music before marriage) in which her children were raisded and, by her, home-schooled.
As the twig is bent …
Cold neglect, or indiffeence in the face of political ambition? You decide.
Character hangs in balance.