Wonkette
WELL OF COURSE: “A source close to the Beverly Hills baby store Petit Tresor tells CelebTV.com exclusively that a gift from Plain Mary was sent to Bristol Palin on behalf of Jamie Lynn Spears.” [CelebTV via Radar]
THE ONLY TWO TEENAGE GIRLS TO EVER GET PREGNANT
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4:34 PM
on Wed September 3 2008
By
Jim Newell
895 Views
Hot!
Abstinence Only in the Hizzzzzzie!!!!
That’s too real to be true. It’s like W sending WALNUTS! a copy of the US Constitution covered in feces.
Let me guess…..a dildo cozy?
How many 16 year old girls will now be getting pregnant to be like a Bristol or a Jamie Lee now? I suppose that’s all the sex education they need. FUCK.
Heard of several people making donations to Planned Parenthood in Bristol Palin’s name.
https://secure.ga0.org/02/pp10000_inhonor
I’d wager the IQ of these two young ladies combined is on par with an amoeba.
“It was ordered by phone, and they asked what could be done for under $100. They spent $60 on pink burpcloths,” said the source.
I’d be concerned that $60 of spit-up cloths wouldn’t do it, in this family. I’m going to need about $1K of them just to make it through Palin’s speech, tonight, as it is.
Oh, crap… I hadn’t realized that “abstinence only” referred to the use of condoms… not abstaining from the whole sexual intercourse part. I’m such a goob!
Here some footage from MSNBC. Here’s what rightwing pundits (Palin’s biggest fans) really think their greatest American hero:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrG8w4bb3kg
Noonan: “It’s over.” and some expletives.
Glorious.
shortsshortsshorts: I don’t know, but I think we’ve finally found something to make 16 yr old boys give up Guitar Hero.
KittyKatMan: I give it an hour before the right wing media calls foul. Jesse Jackson will be sought out to laugh in their faces.
Did Murphy Brown not send a gift, that cheap harlot?
My sister, the mother of a 14 year old and an 11 year old was thanking the repukes this morning for making pregnancy so very glamourous again. Like her job isn’t hard enough already, she’s got these kinds of roll models to deal with.
She also made a point of saying that you cannot be VP and raise 5 kids. She quit her rather high-powered job to raise her kids and she’s only got 2. And I think there was a Go Obama in the rant somewhere…
DUDE I TOTALLY WANT LIKE TONS OF KIDS SO I CAN NEVER HAVE MONEY!
Soooooo coooooooool.
shortsshortsshorts: pondscum: Yes, I see now. Teenage pregnancy is a wonderful thing, like cotton-candy and new clothing from the GAP or a delicious hum-job from a cheerleader!
Six months after child’s birth
Yes, yes God is angry. That’s why begins filling bathtub mommie is sending you to be with him…
Oh great! Now every 16- & 17-year-old girl is going to want to join the baby bump bandwagon. Is this some plan to head off the ‘white-minority’ U.S. population? I need these kids working to help pay my social security!
RuperttheBear: Oh, but marrying the father will solve all of the problems! Isn’t that another part of the lesson? Babies are a great reason to get married - to hell with acutally being ready to live with another person (in this case two) in your face 24/7. Hell, I didn’t marry my hubby until I was 38 and some days I STILL want to kill him.
Is that a Cthulhu knitted dildo cozy?
pondscum: 38? That’s about the age for your third marriage. Get with the program. Divorced with kids by 23 is so hot right now.
We’re country first, y’all!
NoWireHangers: I heart my barren womb.
On the next episode of Hannah Montana, Hannah’s interest in hockey suddenly takes an unexpected turn.
You know why Sarah and Todd are so understanding toward their daughter’s current preggers dilemma? Because Bristle’s not the first chick in the family to get married because she had to.
Mommy Dearest Sarah eloped with Hot Toddy, then dropped her first sprog eight months later. Was Track delivered a month early, and Hot Toddy was just a deadly accurate shot on their wedding night? Or did Sarah, like Bristle, feel she had no choice but to wed the stud what got her knockered?
Seems like “abstinence only” might be a good idea for some, just not for these two, who yielded to temptation when presented with the option to just clamp their knees together tightly. Personally, I don’t really give a shit was goes on in their lovely little trailer park, but how can people like Sarah - incapable of sustaining abstinence themselves - insist upon it for others?
Hypocrisy? Check.
Megalomaniacal diktats to others? Check.
Delusional baby Jeebus fixation? Check.
State must intrude in the nation’s bedrooms? Check.
Yeah, she’s a fuckin’ Republican alright. [When she's not an Alaska secessionist, that is.]
pondscum: Levi Trucknutz “Fuck’in around” Meatswinger will make a wonderful husband and father because he likes to kill things and play hockey. The end.
capitol hillbilly: Murphy Brown. Just wondering aloud: Did Bill Kristol tell Dan Quayle to go after Murphy? Was that his bright idea?
And hey, Bristol is not “slutty.” She knows who the baby daddy is. Duh.
WadISay: WIN
Now that teenage pregnancy has become so blasé, Jamie Lynn is looking for a hook-up to knock up her new daughter. Having a baby who is having a baby might be just weird enough to get her back in the tabloid spotlight.