Wonkette
- OH MY GOD IT IS STARTING! The evil anti-American hurricane is now gone, so the RNC is finally really starting for reals! There is somebody singing the National Anthem. There were some military dudes of age, yelling “left left left,” in honor of McCain. We are all stuck in here, forever.
I just saw a pan of the arena on MSNBC.. the crowd turns ugly.
Man, that’s some scary humanity there. Keep your heads down.
Oooh can you feel the electricity? Oh wait, that’s the protesters and NPR reporters getting tasered outside.
…it looks like they are holding their convention in a senior citizens home.
You are on your own guys (and gal). I’m slipping that Todd Haynes movie about Dylan in. Fuck Republicans and their partayz.
Did anyone notice the pastor giving the opening invocation asked the Big Guy to give strength/wisdom/whatever to “John McCain and Sarah Palin and all the GOP nominees for public office in this land”? I don’t recall the Dem pastors ever saying such a partisan prayer. These jackasses really do believe they’re the party of God, that God actually will give His holy favor to one American party over another. I mean, I can live with “God Bless America”, but now it’s “God Bless the GOP”? Really?
No better way to brand yourself as a hip, happening party than starting with a video montage that reminds everyone of all the old, white Republicans who kicked the bucket this year.
It’s very red. And demoralizing.
Gerald Ford tribute — nice of them to gloss over the fact that SALT II was scuttled by his own party.
jagorev: A wise observation, and one that I find even funnier in light of the fact they prayed for a Biblical storm over Denver and got one during their convention week.
Jesus has cast his vote, and he voted liberal. Not that it should be surprise, what with his long hair and preaching about peace and love and whatnot…
Hey everybody — Boehner says the Republicans are the party of reform. Y’know, because those lousy corrupt insider Democrats have been in power forever. You know this is true because there’s not a Republican president around Minnesota today.
…let play the “Count the colored people in the audience” game! Hey I see one!!!
SayItWithWookies: …if by reform he means political gang raping the wallets and futures of our children!
Time to flip through the Law & Order reruns on the DVR!
They have to remain still for 1-2 minutes for the photo? Are they using a daguerreotype? I thought those things went out of style when John McCain was still a young man.
Some so-called woman was saying on the radio that Fred Thompson is gonna PUNCH OBAMA IN THE MOUTH rhetorically. YEAH! CAUSE THAT’S vIOLENT.
But seriously, Obama would use Fred’s man-boobs as punching bags.
The Incomparable Tiny Valdez: Agreed. But I think I’ll rewatch “Muppets from Space.”
She’s a brick - - - house. Yeah.
AngryBlakGuy: They’re halfway there.
Now they’re taking a picture. CNN.com does a stadium pan — and it looks as well-attended as a Nats game.
Day two is starting with John Boehner and various people shouting ‘HOLD STILL HOLD STILL’ so the official panoramic convention photo can be taken. Or maybe he’s just talking about the GOP ‘holding still’ as it has for the past 8 years. I’m not sure.
This angelic choir of voices is lame, but not nearly as lame as the shitty fake Stevie Wonder that played at the DNC.
…this vast expanse of dead air brought to you by Sarah Palin’s foreign policy experience.
SayItWithWookies: Okay, let’s be fair. When Bush was elected by -0.5% of the vote, he reformed all over the place. Got rid of that pesky budget deficit, handed out tax breaks to rich guys like it was going out of style, called a mulligan on those horrid environmental policies that were working, and reformed our international image into the dumpster.
The Repugs are reformers. They haven’t met a country yet they couldn’t reform into a political, social, and literal landfill.
It’s like the two parties decided to have a lame-off to see who could have a worse soundtrack to their convention, and whichever side wins gets first dibs on next year’s crop of boy pages.
It’s Macaca! I’d recognize those beady eyes from 500 yards. Where’s his football?
…hey, look its the Macaca guy!
Halfway through tonight Thompson will take a roll call on how many people in the audience want to replace Sarah for veep. One lucky woman (sorry boys) will be chosen.
SayItWithWookies: Well, after Barry’s Sermon From On (Mile-)High, and the cluster fuck it’s been in the short week after, I wouldn’t attend, either. It’s a bad time to be a Republican.
Strictly for the Tardcore: Yeah but Boehner actually said since 2006. Like the voters spoke and the Democrats got elected, but did nothing — and only the Republicans actually made the huge changes that were called for. It’s a litte sapphire of doublespeak.
Hey they are playing Journey’s ‘Don’t Stop Believing,’ does that mean this is suddenly going to fade to black in mid-verse and be over and we’ll all be wondering what happened to John McCain, the Palin family, and the entire GOP?
The Incomparable Tiny Valdez: No kidding. Not even funny, just depressing (haven’t poured the drink yet)
I love the “Country First” banners. Where are the “Alaska First” ones for the secessionist VP?
“Don’t Stop Believin’”? I would have thought that the RNC would avoid a song about underage prostitutes.
jagorev: Some of the Dem pastors did mention Obama/Biden and asked for The Big Guy(tm) to guide them and somesuch. So it’s not unique to the Repubs, but I’m sure they do it much better…
Have the inmates from the Mississippi prisons arrived yet to give the crowd some color?
Is Giuliani tonight? God I haven’t heard about 9/11 all day!
SayItWithWookies: Wouldn’t know. I’m doing more useful things with my time, like eating dinner and masturbating furiously to that pic of the Sarahcuda in her bikini.
SayItWithWookies: Oh. Snap.
AngryBlakGuy: Yes, he’s *still* a Republican. In 2012 he’ll make a Macacomeback.
chascates: Fear not, they’ve got you covered - http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26506716/
Strictly for the Tardcore: Congratulations. You’ll certainly have more to show for your evening than I will.
Scarab: They have; they just couldn’t find any Repugs that want to sit next to them.
The ushers ended up seating them in the back of the convention center.
“Sarah Pawlenty, our next Vice President.” Classic.
What’s this Nation Al?
Oooh… “Sarah Pawlenty”. Paging Dr Freud!
Yes! did anyone else see the Abe Lincoln dude? I know right! How about the black person! No?
Coleman’s Jewish? They’re going to let two Jews speak tonight? Pat Buchanan is not going to be happy about this.
Oh geez, did anyone else hear the RNC chairwoman call the veep “Sarah Pawlenty”? Quite the Freudian slip…
wait, sarah pawlenty? REALLY?
SayItWithWookies: That is truly sad. You have my condolences, sir or madame, whichever the case may be.
uh oh that’s just silly.
Donkey Punches for all Values Voters!
Oh yeah they’re in St. Paul. Fitting that they’re in a city honoring a liar and charlatan. Pig’s Eye was a far more honorable name.
So Obama is for sex shops? Sweet.
SayItWithWookies, iwillsavethispatient: Jesus, maybe I should be watching this. Barry’s camp should change some names around and release the exact same statement the GOP did when he introduced Biden as the “next President”…
AngryBlakGuy: Undercover cops don’t count.
“John McCain has a face that says yes.” That’s my nomination for the line likely to cause the most nightmares tonight.
Are the “SERVICE” signs supposed to look like king-size Hershey bars? It’s making me snacky every time they cut to a crowd shot.
I am so tired of Americans confusing the flag with that which it represents.
Ooh, an essay contest about what the American Flag means to you! I believe the Dems did the same thing, but the winner had a one-word essay: “Kindling”.
1st 9/11 imagery!
Everybody shoot up!
Twin Towers reference: Drink!
Victoria Blackstone wants to deface the declaration of independence! She said she can see herself writing her name on it! Why does Victoria Blackstone hate America?
Oh look they have an actor in blackface hamming it up with a terrible impression of negro speech.
I don’t know if I have enough alcohol for tonight.
So nice to see all these peeps came out from their dimly lit sex dens across the city to watch teevee all night! Country First. Obey Propaganda!
“Dear Lord, we’re fucked. Please let us wake up tomorrow and it’s November first, 2000, and we can change our votes. And change back the ones that we changed to Bush in the first place. Amen.”
Character is doing the right thing because someone [he's refering to the Big Guy] is always watching?? Yes, because that’s a lot better than doing the right thing when no-one’s watching. That’s a really depressing viewpoint, people only do something because they’re scared of the omnipotent one catching them doing wrong.
Retroactive abortion to the stage asap.
SayItWithWookies: I’m sure you have some solvents around the house, right?
Selling houses at below market prices? How dare she! The MARKET WORKS, remember.
Here is your John Hammons! The “Belle of the ball” discussing how the old men fawn over his tight hairless body!
Delicious: Hell I have a six-pack and a bottle of wine. But the drinking game’s already gotten hot & heavy. Argh — god — drink.
If there’s country music and a pastor every other speaker, I’m gonna be dead in three hours.
Alex Castellanos is SO relieved to be finally getting the convention under way! It was delayed for almost 24 hrs you know! Those much more raucous private parties must have been HORRIBLE!
NPR is interviewing closet cases for Ron Paul.
…talk about sad, I just flipped over to C-SPAN and Ron Pauls rally looks livelier than the RNC’s.