Wonkette
“Bristol Palin, one of Alaska Gov. Palin’s five children with her husband, Todd, is about five months pregnant and is going to keep the child and marry the father, the Palins said in a statement released by the campaign of Republican presidential candidate John McCain.” WAIT, WHAT?
This is sort of like John Edwards saying, “No I did not have an affair with Rielle Hunter two years ago. And in order to put these despicable rumors to rest, I’ll tell you that some other person plans to have an affair with her in a few months.” Saying this very nice young lass Bristol is five months along doesn’t explain the weird family photos from late last year.
Palin’s 17-Year-Old Daughter Is Pregnant [The Caucus]
President of the trailer park! Whoopee! Guess Sarah’s abstinence-only position has a few problems….
Doesn’t Tood Palin has to first divorce Sarah?
Or is AK mormon law territoy?
There really is nothing to do in Alaska besides the baby-making…
What the heck is going on here?
I am beyond confused!
is this for real?
Wow. Noone could make this shit up.
I guess Palin will go shoot another caribou to settle her nerves.
Another decisive victory for abstinence-only education!
I guess Palin was vetted by Helen Keller.
Palin’s 17-year-old daughter. Big detail. Big funny. Wonder how old the father is.
As much as I hate them, we need smileys on here! And laughies! And throw-uppies!
What fucking weirdo name is this one getting? Bridgestone?
So if she’s 5 months pregnant, there’s no way she can possibly be Trig’s mom….unless we have a grassy knoll jizz theory going here. \\
Jackpot!
“…in an announcement intended to knock down rumors by liberal bloggers that Palin faked her own pregnancy to cover up for her child.”
That’ll teach those liberal bloggers. Thank you, teen pregnancy!
kellygrrrl: Yes, all the MSM outlets have it. I just read it on MSNBC. Easy to see where the confuzzelation re Trig’s mommy came from. Okay, so the bloggisphere was only HALF right.
Love those fundy values!
Bristol sounds like a bit of a light skirt. Aahh, good old Republican family values at work again. Palin’s abstinence-only stand is a joke; bet Bristol would have like to know about condoms about 5 months ago, eh?
But at least young Bristol got to ‘make her own decision’ - her mom says so!
Call me cynical, but I suspect the folks at McCain, Inc. waited until Gustav hit to announce this. How convenient.
Delicious: My wife is hoping for Myers…..sort of a pharmaceutical corporate sponsorship.
well, is she 5 months pregnant?
does sarah think she doesn’t have to explain why she jepordised trig’s life?
Congrats to Bristol and to the father, Matt Yglesias.
dorothyparker: Hmmm, a total take out the trash moment, hmmm? I mean, there is a time and place for trailerparklike behavior. This is not it.
Apparently to Sarah Palin, pro-family means you can quit parenting as soon as they fall out of you.
Abstinence from contraception.
This one will be called Earmark.
Sonic Former Youth: I second the nomination for Wonketteicons. Perhaps only for Palin posts?
No, to be a true conspiratist you have to assume that *this* pregnancy is faked and will “miscarry” in order to shield the truth about Bristol being Trig’s Mom.
But honestly, I’m more concerned that the more we keep this alive the more that the fundie defenses are going to kick in and solidify support around the little mothers. In the absence of this distraction, the base might have buyer’s remorse about her thin resume.
shoeho: Come on….fundie household, no condoms and living in Alaska? That guarantees an 80% knocked up rate for teens there. You have to wonder if anyone’s pissed that they couldn’t take out the “problem” with a secret abortion before the Ovary Truthers started the original fake pegnancy story.
I’m really beginning not to like this woman…
I’d Oppose [Abortion] Even if My Own Daughter was Raped”
Labor day in Alaska is when you announce to the town that your children are pregnant.
OK, no more “will Trig’s real mother please stand up” discussion… just “what the heck was Palin thinking taking that flight from TX to AK” discussion. Oh, and, “Did Palin know about her daughter’s pregancy when she accepted the nomination” discussion.
I feel really bad for Bristol — awful enough to have to have that discussion with such fundie parents at all, much less to have it reported in Reuters.
WonkaBee: A few of my “normal” Repub friends (they come from RI and NH, so it’s a little hard to tell) are going 3rd party or considering Barry because of the Palin pick. Of course, the “red meat” Repugs think they are Democrats anyway.
Delicious: Walnuts.
I think McCain’s VP decision process was not mapped out as carefully as this:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132×6855834
Bristol Palin made the decision on her own to keep the baby, McCain aides said.
Good to see the GOP candidate has embraced choice. Should help with the swing voters.
Sarah Palin is a complete asshole for putting her own ambition ahead of her daughter’s welfare. She is now the most famous teenage mother in the country. It is appalling that a parent would put her daughter through such public embarrassment. Disgusting.
Gopherit v2.0: Yeah, well, I have long suspected the “elite” of the Republican party preach one thing for all of society and another for themselves. I don’t see a lot of the anti BC crowd (admittedly, there are a few) with huge families. I just don’t think the Govagranny is in that sphere. SHE really BELEIVES in that sh*t!
This is going to win the election. Does no one remember how big a hit Juno was? Americans eat this shit up. All that Bristol needs to do now is give a smart, wise-beyond-her-years, wisecracking interview set to an indie rock soundtrack.
It’s Christmas and Fourth of July all rolled into one. Crazy Ms. GILF? I think I love you a little.
Love that the news broke on Labor Day. Ooooooh the irony.
No fucking way. I love this family.
The Kountry Klub Kristians are going krazeee all over the internets!!!!!
Rallying to the Family
Geez girl. There’s these things called “condoms”? You can make your B.F. wear them, or y’know, “no nookie for you”? Just sayin’
AND there’s these other things; birth control pills? Prolly hand ‘em out free to anyone who asks in the socialist wonderland called Alaska. Just stop by the free clinic they set up for the natives.
re previous talk of “minge”: “Bristol” is Cockney rhyming slang for “breast” (Bristol City (football club)->titty)
9/11 WAS AN INSIDE JOB
Have I mentioned how delicioussss my coffee is this morning. Oh, I could drink it til it runs out my ears. Mmmmm. Now for the bath beads.
PeteJayhawk v2.0: I’m 35. The crazy thing, I am also Trig’s real mother. We lead a strange life up there in Alaska, the Palins and us.
Christmas has come early this year, baby!
Babygate
Preggersgate
Water-breakgate
I quit. I now quit following politics. Fuck it, when’s football season?
Ah, well, the conspiracy theory was fun while it lasted. Now I’ll have to go back to reading about extra-terrestrial space aliens running the government.
You heard it here first: The part about 5 months is a lie. Word of her pregnancy was leaked almost 3 months ago. The news of her pregnancy is not what will undo Palin. It’s this lie about 5 months that will do the job. Of course, they qualified it with “about” which, in Rush Limbaugh’s world, could be anywhere from a month to a year.
I want to see what Levi looks like!
AxmxZ: Nah, it means they’re a “professional” family. They crank ‘em out like an assembly line.
Did she just learn she was five months pregnant after her mom was chosen?
She “chose” pro-life? Wow, this is transcendent.
Platinum!
Lynne Spears 4 Vice-Prezz!!
http://images.hollywoodgrind.com:9000/images/2008/4/lynne-and-jamie-spears.jpg
badco/LoJ: are you telling me that the rumors regarding being knocked up have been knocked down?
I hear you knocking….. but you can come in….
I just read the whole Reuters feed at the NY Times. It says McCain knew about Bristol’s pregnancy before selecting Palin. One presumes that implies Palin knew.
For the love of God, Montresor, what were they thinking?
Oh, wait, because Palin was the most qualified possible VP candidate, they set aside all concerns for the public ordeal the pregnant teenager would have to endure and put country first.
To all those who scoffed at the rumor: go fuck yourself (without a comdom, of course)! Back to moose country, Sarah…
Atoz: Mark my words, if people spread the story about Trig’s near-disastrous birth — Palin’s own story — it will bite her back. There’s nothing women 30-55 hate more than a reckless mother, and Governor Palin is starting to sound like a real Jerry Springer guest.
Can I post the link again? I wanna post it again: http://www.ktuu.com/global/story.asp?s=8194634
I guess this does solidify the redneck vote, though. Point: Palin.
Trailer trash? The Palin household sounds like a mobile fertility clinic.
Levi is the big winner in all of this. He went from being forced to marry some girl from the backwater to being a member of a prominent international political family. He could call HarperCollins and get a 10K advance.
Follow-up: Just in: Palin admits that she recently converted to Papism and this is the first virgin birth in her family. All others were discredited due to confusing paternity test results.
Pardon my cynicism, but I expect the Governor to resign her candidacy or whatever so she can ’spend more time with her family’. Then along comes Mitts or Lieberman & Repubs breathe a sigh of relief. (I mean it’s not like those two are impregnating anyone.)
Oh right, you expect us to believe this?
Next thing you know, you’ll try to tell us that:
AngryBlakGuy is a chipper Scandinavian housewife.
Neilist helped drafted the Brady Bill.
AfghanVet faints at the sight of blood.
and most preposterous:
Serolf Divad desu ot tsop rednu sih laer eman!
Balderdash!
El Bombastico: Those financial crisis blogs are looking pretty good right now.
So how many kids has Track fathered?
Wow. Best trailer park alibi ever. “She couldn’t have given birth to Trig in April, because she was knocked up with another unplanned baby at the time.”
In other news, Sarah Heath Palin may be the secret love child of Anita Bryant:
http://jillsixpack.blogspot.com/2008/08/resemblance-is-uncanny.html
Apparently the Palins were too busy shooting Bambi to attend one of those purity balls the right-wingers love so much.
Rosalindavenue: I’m looking through my deck of dirty playing cards and I don’t see an “Abstinence Position” one… I see “Double Reverse Cowgirl” and “Wheelbarrow Inspector,” but no “Abstinence Position.”
Wake Me Up America!!!!
The real lesson in all of this is that apparently liquified whale blubber is not effective as a contraceptive jelly. Who knew?
I can’t imagine why Palin missed an opportunity to mention her kid enlisting in the army. Oh, that’s right, he joined up because of some behavior issues (allegedly). Doesn’t make the Wasilla Hillbillies bad parents, just hypocrites.
El Bombastico: Yes, but it’s probably damn good lube.
Squiggyfm: Win!
From the WaPo - http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/09/01/AR2008090100710.html?hpid=topnews
McCain officials said the news of the daughter’s pregnancy was being released to rebut what one aide called “mud-slinging and lies” circulating on liberal blog sites.
According to these rumors, Sarah Palin had faked a pregnancy and pretended to have given birth in May to her fifth child, a son named Trig who has Down syndrome. The rumor was that Trig was actually Bristol Palin’s child and that Sarah Palin was the grandmother.
A senior McCain campaign official said the McCain camp was appalled that these rumors had not only been spread around liberal blog sites and partisan Democrats, but also were the subject of heightened interest from mainstream news media.
“The despicable rumors that have been spread by liberal blogs, some even with Barack Obama’s name in them, is a real anchor around the Democratic ticket, pulling them down in the mud in a way that certainly juxtaposes themselves against their ‘campaign of change,”‘ a senior aide said.
We are the great and powerful Wonkette! And we pwn you! Although, thanks to teh evil orange cousin, of course. Couldn’t have done it without you, Kos!
They are asking us to respect their privacy?? I know way too much about this family already.
Vanity Smurf: This will be his first.
Delicious: Maverick
I like how they want to make this a “private matter” and ask for the media to back off, but they are happy to pontificate and legislate matters of sexuality and pregancy.
Whatever’s convenient. Whatever works.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: Why wouldn’t the W.P. identify this “senior McCain official”? This isn’t secret stuff.
Gotta love the bit about “some even with Barack Obama’s name in them”…..
RooseveltFranklin: Although they could be sending him into the military to “straighten him up.”
I hope Bristol doesn’t have her heart set on a White House wedding.
So is the wedding going to take place before or after the election?
How do you think it’s going to compare to Jenna Bush’s wedding?
On the bright side, at least Bristol wasn’t one of those chicks who believes so much in the abstinence thing that she only does anal.
OK. The girl is 17. SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD. I think this calls for charges of statutory rape and pedophilia, doesn’t it? And, “oh wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles…” I want to know what the Fundies and social conservatives in general will have to say about this.
i seriously don’t understand this woman. it’s not like people weren’t going to find out when her daughter popped the thing out, so why on earth would she willingly sign up for the veep job and shit all over her teenage daughter’s privacy and life in general by taking their family show on the road for the whole country to see? she’s apparently even more insane than i’d previously thought. i refuse to believe that mccain even tried to vet her picking her name out of his ass.
Ok, Trig has an excuse, what’s wrong with the rest of the Palin brood? We haven’t heard anything yet about the other daughters. What else could be in the pipeline?
We’re all missing the big picture here.
GRANDPA and GRANDMA for president. GOP=GENIOUSES
And this girl already has a name that means “tit” in Cockney rhyming slang.
I love this logic. She wasn’t pregnant then because she is pregnant now. And look at how responsible she is. SHe is going to get married. See? Nothing fixes a little ol’ abstinence only failure like some matrimony. See? Cause matrimony is so sacred, it can fix out of wed lock fornication! Yay Jesus!
kudzu: She gets a fundie pass for not aborting it and for saying she’ll get married to her babydaddy. She is the new poster child for the Fallen Woman who does the right thing.
These are a fertile bunch.
SayItWithWookies: Actually it turns out that because her parents don’t believe in sex education, she thought she was doing anal.
McCan/Palin: Just a couple graaaandparents, runnin’ fer office. Yep.
The 3-Legged Man: Seriously. Name any blog in existence, political or otherwise, which doesn’t have Obama’s name “in” it. They all have Obama’s name in them! So he caused this by having his name in the blogs? That’s like saying a person can be a foreign policy expert because their state is located near Russia. Oh. Wait…
StripesAndPlaids: Well it worked out for her mother when she got knocked up with Track a month before eloping — look where she is today!
“The campaign intends to cast this as the kind of situation that ordinary American families face.”
Social conservatives are basking in the warmth of McCain’s pee right now…
kudzu: I think it depends on the age of the penis-bearer. If he’s underage, it’s not usually as big a deal. And often there needs to be at least a two year gap. I’m too caffeinated to read the statutes.
The 3-Legged Man: Track was forced into the military to make man out of him cause he had a case of the Geyhz. They hope he gets killed liked they hoped Trig would die in the airborne position.
Willow is fourteen. When is she going to step up to the plate?
On days like this, I like to check in with Michelle Malkin:
But wait–let’s assume for a second that this goofy idea is true. Let’s say for a second that Governor Palin decided to adopt her daughter’s unplanned special-needs child and present him to the world as her own…
That would make her kind of a saint, wouldn’t it?
Yes, indeedy. It’s a horrible smear. But if it’s true, it wonderful news.
Then, her lead blog item is…Rev. Jeremiah Wright. Haha.
But this is kind of funny:
“This ordinary boy [Obama] just might be the first president in the history of the United States to have a black woman sleeping at 1600 Pennsylvania legally,” Wright said, referring to Michelle Obama, in a sermon at the Wheeler Avenue Baptist Church in Houston.
Is this how the world ends?
Sarah Palin: Mother Of The Year.
(How much do you want to bet years down the road the Palin kids write a Mommy Dearest book?)
RuperttheBear: Well played, Mr. Bear. Well played.
They’re honeymooning at a hunting party with Dick Cheney. It’s going to be a shotgun wedding followed by a shotgun widowhood. And the Palins would like you to respect their children’s privacy while this awful Levi (there’s a nice gentile name for you) is dealt with.
I can only assume that they were unsuccessful in getting a marriage certificate phonied up to pre-date the (alleged) date of conception.
Typical Wasilla resident reaction: “Seventeen? Seems a little over the hill…glad to hear she finally found a feller.”
kudzu: Age of consent in Alaska is 16. I’m shocked its not 12.