Wonkette
If there’s one thing Democrats can count on, it’s that New Jersey billionaire Bruce “He’s The Boss” Springsteen will play lots of his songs for the presidential candidate, who will then lose the election. That’s why Republicans are so excited about Springsteen playing a couple of songs at Obama’s Acceptance Concert on Thursday.
According to the Rocky Mountain News, 1980s’ hitmaker Bruce Springsteen will play two songs, just him and his plodding acoustic guitar, for a special part of Obama’s acceptance program called “HOPE Takes a Nap.” Then, or maybe before, briefly famous hair-rocker John Francis Bongiovi, Jr., will also play a song or two on an acoustic guitar, perhaps from the hit record “Slippery When Wet.”
Springsteen has crushed many Democratic presidential hopes with his musical “help” in the campaign. He repeatedly showed up at John Kerry events, four years ago, and managed to hand another dreadful four years to Bush/Cheney.
The Boss, Bon Jovi headed for Obama’s acceptance speech at Invesco Field [Rocky Mountain News]
Let’s at least hope he plays a nice, patriotic, pro-war song like “Born in the USA”
…fukk Bruce Springstein! RAGE AGAINST THE FUKKIN MACHINE!!! is suppose to be performing!
…I hear Jay-Z is suppose to perform as well! He will perform his blockbuster hit “99 problems” right after Hillary Clinton speaks on Wednesday.
This is only funny because Halperin said the Boss would NOT be performing. Halperin is about the biggest loser out there. Oh, also, go B-r-u-u-u-u-u-c-e-e….
jagorev: Be careful about Bruce. Our editor once lambasted me for accusing him the Boss of being a Republican.
Or an upbeat, heart warmer like “Glory Days” which the class above mine in HS used as their homecoming theme.
jagorev: Or I’m On Fire; nothing like a song about throbbing, painful, unrequited lust to get the crowd in the mood for political speeches.
How about “Pink Cadillac? It does show the non-elitest side of Caddy ownership.
From a campaign source, here’s the Springsteen set list:
–”Born To Run For President,” “Adam Raised a McCain, “”Baracklands,” “Darkness on the Edge of D.C.,” “Cover Me Debts,” “Cindylita,” “Pennsylvania Avenue Freezeout,” “Born in Indonesia,” and “Blinded by the Right.”
AngryBlakGuy: If this were true, I would quit my job and campaign for Obama 24/7.
“HOPE takes a nap”? Really? Did Team Hope get replaced by a bunch of Kindergartners?
Also, Bon Jovi is not “Change I can believe in”, Barry.
Don’t the blue collars sort of idolize the Boss?
The Decembrists were passed over for what? An inadequate scruffy male.
Seriously. Why don’t they invite Bob Seeger, and call it a day? A totally, totally lame day.
“Born to Run for Preznit.”
AngryBlakGuy: In a special version he will be replacing the word “ain’t”
The Incomparable Tiny Valdez: No, he’s a jew.
He will be followed by Fitty Cent for the Blacks, Ricky Martin for the Hispanics, Kenny Chesney for the Bitters, the Denver Symphony for the elites, Phish for the hippies, an Elvis impersonater for the gays, and Lilith Fair for the Hiltards.
The Incomparable Tiny Valdez: Everyone I idolizes the Boss. Even if you think you don’t, you do…
HollowBrain: “Hope Takes A Nap” is the companion story to “My Pet Hope”
AngryBlakGuy: I will send $1,000 to Sir Hopealot if “99 Problems” is blasted through the PA system as Madame is escorted from the stage.
jagorev:
Heh. I still laugh to this day when the Reaganz tried to use that song without actually understanding what the lyrics actually meant.
AngryBlakGuy: Kanye West is scheduled, too. I really want him to get up and yell “Bill Clinton hates black people!”
HollowBrain: No…that would be Bruce Springstein…
So what does the Secret Service do when Barry jumps in and crowd surfs? Do they ride the wave with him or do they just go apeshit and teargas the whole place? I’m hoping for the former, actually — while the second one would be more exciting, I can’t get the image out of my head of Obama on top of the crowd surrounded by four guys doing the same thing, but in suits and with their hands to their ears.
Any attempt by Democrats to show they are in touch with the last 30 years of popular culture just shows how out of touch they really are. The Republicans will have Pat Boone and John Voight, like America approves of. Enjoy the flames of hellfire with your Bruce Springsteen, Dan Fogelberg, and dancing with the twisting of the hips.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
WadISay: You’ve missed the crucial hipster/college kid demographic. We’re going to need the Decemberists, or maybe Feist.
thefrontpage: Okay okay, you were first.
The Incomparable Tiny Valdez: Yep. Though I’m sure the Repubes will try and paint him as some sort of elitist. Him bein’ all rich and successful and all.
And generally well-liked…..
Doglessliberal: …nah, they should have Kanye perform “Gold Digga” while wearing a Hillary ‘08 t-shirt!
HollowBrain: Nah, Dutch. He just wanted them to think he was a Jew so they’d think he was a sensitive artist instead of a money grubbing capitalist.
mookworthjwilson: Word.
MoodProcessor:
“Just wrap your legs around these velvet rims,
and fist-jab me like a terrorist.”
I always wondered about those lyrics, but now it all makes sense.
Doglessliberal: The odds of Yeezy saying something stupid are high. However, if the Boss plays “Johnny 99″ the Hopeman is getting another check from me.
Bruce Springsteen is basically the (pre-scandal) John Edwards of music. He lays claim to a working-class blue-collar culture that he was never a part of; pretends to be a fighter for the little guy when he’s richer than Jesus; we’re all supposed to admire him, though we’re not really sure why; and, he fucked Rielle Hunter.
ManchuCandidate: Stanley Clark’s version rocks it after a fashion. Ignore the douche djs. If you watch this, you will have actually lived through the 1980s again (or for the first time).
Any truth to the rumor that Springstepp and Bongiovi will perform a racy duet involving numerous wardrobe malfunctions, such that attendees under 18 will be escorted out of the stadium before continuing the show?
After party at the the Scarlet Ranch!!!
http://www.scarletranch.com/
Zzzzzzzzzzzz….FUCK FOX NEWS!…..zzzzzzzz
Good God, this fucking guy has ALWAYS sucked. I don’t want to hear about Nebraska or Glory Days or whatever. He STINKS. Can’t they just play Miles Davis’ Bitches Brew like I have formally requested??
jagorev: Aren’t the Decemberists already booked?
I hope they get Wilco and have them play ‘Handshake Drugs’.
SuperRounder: hell yeah, perfect song!:
Now Judge, I got debts no honest man could pay
The bank was holdin’ my mortgage and they was takin’ my house away
Now I ain’t sayin’ that makes me an innocent man
But it was more ‘n all this that put that gun in my hand
Well, Your Honor, I do believe I’d be better off dead
And if you can take a man’s life for the thoughts that’s in his head
Then won’t you sit back in that chair and think it over, Judge, one
more time
And let ‘em shave off my hair and put me on that execution line
What about Natalie Cole fronting for Wynton Marsalis? HUH? What about that?
I had a friend was a Navy pilot guy
Back in Indian Country
He could crash that Skyhawk so fast
Make you look like an ace, boy
Saw him the other night at the Sturgis rally
I was walking in, he was offering Cin
We went back inside sat down had a few drinks
But all he kept talking about was
POW days well they’ll pass you by
POW days in the wink of the first wife’s eye
POW days, POW days
Well there’s Cindy that lives up the block
Back in school she could turn all the boy’s heads
Sometimes on a friday i’ll stop by
And pop a few pills after she puts her old man to bed
Her husband Johnny well he calls her a cunt
I guess it’s gone on twenty years by now
We just sit around talking about the old times,
She says when she feels like crying
She starts laughing thinking about
OxyCon days well they’ll pass you by
OxyCon days in the wink of his first wife’s eye
OxyCon days, OxyCon days
Her husband worked 8 years in the ‘House
And they beat him up
Now everywhere she goes out looking for support
They just tell him that she’s too old
I was twenty two years old and she was “working” on the
White House Healthcare cluster fuck
Now she just sits on a stool chugging boilermakers
But i can tell what’s on her mind
Glory days yeah goin back
Glory days aw she ain’t never had
Glory days, glory days
Now i think i’m going down to the DNC tonight
And i’m going to drink till i get my fill
And i hope when i get old i don’t sit around thinking about it
But i probably will
Yeah, just sitting back trying to recapture
A little of the glory of, well time slips away
And leaves you with nothing mister but
Boring stories of glory days
RuperttheBear: You will not compare Bob Seeger to Springsteen. You are fired.
jagorev: And he has really terriffic hair!
RuperttheBear: Ooh, let’s have Wynton and Willie. Seriously, one of the best albums ever, plus, you know Willie ia always going to make for a fun time. http://www.willieandwynton.com/
No Bruce, they’re not booing you. They’re saying saying Brooooooooooce.
How about McCain sweeping up Daddy Yankee’s support??
http://www.politico.com/blogs/jonathanmartin/0808/McCain_wins_Daddy_Yankee_primary.html
“Like I said before, he [McCain] has been a fighter for the Hispanic community … a fighter for immigration,” Daddy Yankee said, decked out in all black, sunglasses and a diamond stud earrings.”
I always knew there was a reason to hate reggaeton.
Doglessliberal: IS always
Spence: Well, if you’re going to send the “we’re out of touch message” I say go all the way.
Doglessliberal: WIN
RuperttheBear: Thanks, Rupe. It ain’t no Rockit…but that’s 4 minutes of pure 80’s right there…..
He should dedicate “Hungry Heart” to WALNUTS! and his ex.
HollowBrain: actually he’s an irish/italian catholic
Lets all stop disrepecting the Boss. BRUCE IS THE MAN!
Ronald Reagan.
ManchuCandidate: Nobel Prize!
…in that photo he looks like a older homeless Justin Timberlake.
http://www.topnews.in/uploads/Justin-Timberlake2.jpg
RuperttheBear: if you do not have it, you must get that album. Willie’s voice with Wynton’s horn–just crazy good. (and you have to figure they had some of the most fun ever rehearsing)
AngryBlakGuy: hmmm, love child? Where was Bruce when Justin’s mom got pregnant?
edgydrifter: PLEASE let this happen. And then Malia can break into her special rendition of drop it like it’s hot
I, for one, welcome our culturally dated overlords.
Spence: I do soooo love that all it takes to explode a “Boss” fan’s head like a grenade is to say “well, he’s no Bob Seger.” Duck and cover!
apropos of nothing, here are the Obama and McCain top 10 songs. If for nothing else, I’d have to vote for Obama for his:
http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/toby_harnden/blog/2008/08/14/top_10_favourite_songs_of_barack_obama_and_john_mccain_
BARACK OBAMA
1. Ready or Not Fugees (1996)
2. What’s Going On Marvin Gaye (1971)
3. I’m On Fire Bruce Springsteen (1985)
4. Gimme Shelter Rolling Stones (1969)
5. Sinnerman Nina Simone (1965)
6. Touch the Sky Kanye West (2006)
7. You’d Be So Easy to Love Frank Sinatra (rec. 1961)
8. Think Aretha Franklin (1968)
9. City of Blinding Lights U2 (2004)
10. Yes We Can will.i.am (2008)
JOHN McCAIN
1. Dancing Queen Abba (1976)
2. Blue Bayou Roy Orbison (1963)
3. Take a Chance On Me Abba (1977)
4. If We Make It Through December Merle Haggard (1973)
5. As Time Goes By Dooley Wilson (rec. 1942)
6. Good Vibrations The Beach Boys (1966)
7. What A Wonderful World Louis Armstrong (1967)
8. I’ve Got You Under My Skin Frank Sinatra (rec. 1956)
9. Sweet Caroline Neil Diamond (1969)
10. Smoke Gets In Your Eyes The Platters (1958)
Doglessliberal: Those are pretty nauseatingly generic lists, for both candidates.
But I think choosing Dancing Queen as his #1 song is going to set Walnuts back a bit with the fundies.
thursday is going to be fun.
HollowBrain: they are generic, yes, but Dancing Queen, Take a Chance on Me, and Sweey Caroline’s being on the same list gets you axed in my book. Those cannot be “favorite” songs. Sweet Caroline is only tolerable if you are a BoSox fan.
wait, i just learned that “sweet caroline” is actually about caroline kennedy. which i never knew before. which is why i used to cringe at red sox games.
anyhoo, while dnc’s going retro, how about busting up some ccr/”fortunate son”,
Some folks inherit star spangled eyes,
Ooo, they send you down to war, y’all.
And when you ask them, how much should we give?
Ooo, they only answer more! More! More! Y’all.
I know that they won’t have Steve Earle. They don’t have the guts. Besides, I saw Earle and his wife in greenwich village last night so I know they aint in Denver.
When Johnny Cash played for Nixon at the White House, Nixon requested “The Ballad of Ira Hayes”. Cash said NO NO NO and played “What id Truth” instead. Nixon was not amused.
Da Dems rollin out Bruce is the same as the Repubs having Chaka Khan at their 2002 convention. Just showing how un-hip they really are. Miles’ “Bitches Brew” would be appropriate for the clintons’ hijack the convention strategy, though.
No doubt Bruce will be playing a wooden guitar with horse-hair strings and a pick made of chicken bone in keeping with the green Islamo/communist theme.
sleepy:
Fortunate Son IS the penultimate GOP subtext Theme song (but missing one verse.)
Some folks inherit foot tapping ways
Ooo, they want all the gays to burn, y’all.
And when you ask them, why do you love cock?
Ooo, their many answers: Yes! Yes! Twenty bucks! Yes! Y’all.
It ain’t me, it ain’t me, I ain’t no Dorothy’s pal…
No Celine for Hillz?
Doglessliberal: What if McCain was just being an ironic (replacement)hipster?
Doglessliberal: Or drunk as hell at Karaoke.
AngryBlakGuy: Maybe Sony records wouldn’t let them?
HollowBrain: even worse. Grandpa trying to be cool like the kids.
HollowBrain: yeah but he was on Ally McBeal!
ManchuCandidate: excellent…
WadISay: Ricky Martin? For the Hispanics? Maybe the gay hispanic men…in 2000.
NO! Fuck Springsteen. And Mellencamp. And Fleetwood Mac. And every other stale boomer act associated with the stench of past doomed Democratic campaigns.
Can’t we get, like, Santogold or Nas or somebody somewhat fucking hip who we can associate with actually WINNING these election thingys for a change?
jagorev: That seems to describe every white male in the metro new york area over the age of 45. So its not really a good way to pick out the Boss.
They’re gonna play Journey for the hilltard bitters:
Don’t stop…Believin!
Doglessliberal: No Cat Stevens on Obama’s list?
Were only Marty Robbins still alive, he could sing “Devil Woman”,
this would be a great intro number for Hillz.
Or, maybe Bob Dylan, who perhaps could pass a medical exam that would
certify that he’s still alive, could do a rendition of “Just like a woman”.
Oh, rendition has a different meaning now?
Nevermind!
Jerry w
http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com
ManchuCandidate: I enjoyed that immensely. Bravo.
RooseveltFranklin: Also suspicious: Hopey never ever says his favorite boxer is Mohammed Ali, when we all know he’s everyone’s favorite boxer. Why does he hate faux converted Muslims?
After Barry’s induction into the Nation, what, no Black Crowes?!? How soon they forget…
jerryw: Or Beck’s “Loser”.
Too soon?
Yeah! Let’s get current with a whiny, wispy-voiced, suicidal, emo singer-songwriter!
DO NOT hate on Bruce!
Can’t wait for Broooooce to change “Candy’s Room” to “Cindy’ Room.”
“Harvard University educated law professor elitists like us, baby we were born to run…..?” Bit too wordy, methinks.
If Broooooce really wants to strut his stuff, perhaps he could channel some Woody from ‘39:
If you’ll gather ’round me, children,
A story I will tell
‘Bout Pretty Boy Floyd, an outlaw,
Oklahoma knew him well.
It was in the town of Shawnee,
A Saturday afternoon,
His wife beside him in his wagon
As into town they rode.
There a deputy sheriff approached him
In a manner rather rude,
Vulgar words of anger,
An’ his wife she overheard.
Pretty Boy grabbed a log chain,
And the deputy grabbed his gun;
In the fight that followed
He laid that deputy down.
Then he took to the trees and timber
To live a life of shame;
Every crime in Oklahoma
Was added to his name.
But a many a starving farmer
The same old story told
How the outlaw paid their mortgage
And saved their little homes.
Others tell you ’bout a stranger
That come to beg a meal,
Underneath his napkin
Left a thousand dollar bill.
It was in Oklahoma City,
It was on a Christmas Day,
There was a whole car load of groceries
Come with a note to say:
Well, you say that I’m an outlaw,
You say that I’m a thief.
Here’s a Christmas dinner
For the families on relief.
Yes, as through this world I’ve wandered
I’ve seen lots of funny men;
Some will rob you with a six-gun,
And some with a fountain pen.
And as through your life you travel,
Yes, as through your life you roam,
You won’t never see an outlaw
Drive a family from their home.
DemmeFatale: Botswana Meat Commission FC:
SLAPFIGHT!
Get Scots Ballboy- they do an ace Born in the USA cover, one in which you can actually hear the words, only they sound like The Proclaimers. That should make it cool for both hipsters and old white bitters.
Wait, Bruce is just opening for NWA, right?
Barry used to work at a church,
but now he’s riding high,
it’s time to kiss the Senate goodbye, goodbye
Biden works the Senate all day,
He takes the Amtrak home,
In town he doesn’t stay oh no, oh no
But guys you have to hold on, to what you’ve got
It doesn’t make a difference if it’s Mittens or not
Cause you’ve got Hilltards, and that’s a lot
of Hope
Well give it a shot
jagorev: not Feist-she’s from Canada.
Hm…Joanna Newsom?Adam Green?
But when will Flava Flav perform? He seems to be missing from my program.
The White Stripes should reform and do “The Big Three Killed My Baby” and “Icky Thump.” Eh.
I’m holding out for John Fogerty. I don’t care how old and not of my generation he is. I think he’s cool.
Also, Bon Jovi sucks.
Doglessliberal: I like Jay-Z AND Neil Diamond, stuff it
All things considering, including McCain’s vote against a national holiday for MLK, they should probably bring in Public Enemy to do “By the Time I get to Arizona.” Or maybe “Fear of a Black Planet.” Either one.
velvet_turnip: A non-American singer would be perfect for the party that, after all, HATES AMERICA.
How awesome would it be if Hillary and Barry did karaoke together to Unite the Party? I vote for them singing “Afternoon Delight”
ManchuCandidate: ohdeargawd … classic. simply classic. ::bows before ManchuCandidate’s awesomeness::
jagorev: Ooh, they could do the Willie Nelson/Dolly Parton thing, with a duet of “Islands in the Stream”!
Or the Timbaland/Nelly “Promiscuous” thing. Either way.
The ultimate song for all politicians was recorded by the gag-worthy Mac Davis:
Baby, baby don’t get hooked on me
Baby, baby don’t get hooked on me
‘Cause I’ll just use you then I’ll set you free
Baby, baby don’t get hooked on me
I really really REALLY wanna hit that….or hit that circa whenever that pic was taken
Hey I am sitting watched the party in Denver is Ted the drunk Kennedy running for president
Cause that what it look’s like to me.He is giving his acceptance Speaks.Oh I MUST BE dreaming…