Wonkette
You wouldn’t know it from our serene Casa Wonkette in Denver’s uptown, but just down Colfax in downtown, the cops are going nuts! There are protesters! People are making statements in a way that is sure to be heard (by the cops).
(By the way, that horrible picture is one of the giant Horror Murals at Denver International Airport. There are many legends and conspiracies about this outrage, but the thing really speaks for itself. “Hope” you like your trip to Denver!)
Your whole team is here in Denver now: Newell, Sara, Liz, and your editor. There is beer and music. It is 80 degrees, at dusk, and humid as hell. The AM radio stations were filled with horrible warnings of a “complete wall of nastiness,” which contained many tornadoes, which are possibly killing people in surrounding counties. Your editor upgraded that crappy SUV to a fully pimped golden Town & Country with satellite radio, DVD players, swivel seats, and a torture chamber.
Now we will all be killed, by the cops.
Downtown Blockade [Denver Post]
I’m also in Denver. Totally saw one of the tornadoes damn-near eating some house on the local news a couple hours ago. Why did Barry bring God’s wrath on the Mile High City???
Patchouli and anarcho-post-modernism are playing in traffic at 5,278 feet above sea level…
Yawn.
Trollop: It wasn’t Barry! The fundies overdid it when they prayed for rain.
Town & Country? Even if you add all your ages together, you would still not be old enough to drive one of those.
Tornadoes? Looks like the Wicked Witch of the East (Hillary) has landed!
Was Juli left to sit in the bomb shelter so that Our Wonkette can continue when the bitters nuke Denver?
Honestly, it sounds like Barry brought two wraths to the mile high city: tornadoes and humidity.
You guys are staying on Colfax?
The gunplay should gently lull you to sleep.
Mmm Colfax. Have all your whore money handy?
I suggest you hit Pete’s Kitchen for breakfast or a late meal. East on Colfax and Race Street.
God was off by a week. Silly fundies. Next time get it right and make the correct offerings to Posiden, lord of the seas and the storms.
A virgin will do. No, an alter boy doesnt count. No, neither do you Mr. Haggard.
hockeymom: I’m sure it’s a long street, but I recall my brief time in Denver for going to an all-nite diner on Colfax — name escapes me — after seeing “Fahrenheit 9/11″ at an historic theatre (where two nites prior I saw Mustard Plug/catch-22 on the Ska v. Racism Tour). Good times, good times.
denver_80203: Son of a bitch — that’s the one. Thank you for reminding me.
Ken, could you get one of those protester’s tees for me?
http://usera.imagecave.com/hugh_jennicks/chepaul.png
“One” of the giant Horror Murals? I’ve never been to Denver, and I’m not likely to either!
Please. Everyone. Watch this Denver mural airport Youtubes insanity. It will change your life forever.
GAS-MASKED NAZI ALIENS!
Which side of the Rockies is Denver on? Whichever one it is, that’s the gayest city on that side of the Rockies. Just sayin’….. surprised the Republicans didn’t get first dibs on it….
20% chance of thunderstorms in Denver on Monday, and partly cloudy for the rest of the week. Pray harder, fundies!
http://www.wunderground.com/US/CO/Denver.html
Have fun, Wonkette team. If you get a chance, make sure to visit Queen of Sheba Ethiopian Restaurant on Colfax Ave. It’s awesome. You eat with your hands and get to drink honey wine.
Sharked: This is important information, and everyone needs to know this. Thank you for cluing us in.
Now that I know how active the Masons are, I’m going to go back to avoiding stone at all costs. It’s important to not give them any more power. Boycott stone!
Airports are generally kind of cold, ugly aesthetic areas. And then there’s the ones that go out of their way to attain that special level of awful. The ones that say, “These travellers have had a long flight, we need an image to really set them at ease in our fair community. I was thinking either a stunning Rocky Mountain montage, or a terrifying post-apocalyptic world of bayonet-wielding alien Nazi stormtroopers raining terror and warfare on the children of Earth. I mean, we can put it to a vote, but I’m behind option B right now.”
Trollop: God was letting those damn Hillary Bitters know that they better watch themselves or it’s gonna be their asses!
If I’m not mistaken, that mural is a metaphor. Or it’s ironic. I have no idea what either of those words mean.
Colorado is like that. Best to stay outta there.
@ The 3-Legged Man - The mural was designed as a talisman to ward off Republicans from parading their little gherkins around in the Airport’s public potties.
Hello Twin Cities: Are You Ready For The Wee-Willy-Wankers?
http://usera.imagecave.com/hugh_jennicks/smokin.jpg
Promise you’ll be the only media outlet brave enough to provide the pictures (and - dare to dream - video) of what happens when a mob of Paultards gets a little too rowdy for the liking of an entire regiment of heavily-armored, bayonet-wielding riot squad cops.
The 3-Legged Man: I can help. Mistaken means that you’ve drawn an incorrect conclusion. Mural is a large picture on a wall, created by paint or colored glass or stone or some such. That’s what those words mean.
Hope this helps!
Larry McAwful: Oh, you make me smile.
Larry McAwful: The scales have fallen from my eyes. Sort of in an allegorical sense (*frantically dredging words from online thesaurus*)
mattbolt: I would prefer to think that the cops will resemble the one in the mural, i.e., animatronic blowjob dolls wielding scimitars and garbed in pullover-style jersey knit man dresses. Only because it will be erotic. The violence would be a gratuitous bonus.
Sharked: Wowza. There are even turtles, so Ken will feel at home.
So this is the first time the whole time is meeting? Which character from The Office does Jim Newell resemble the most?
Ken Layne,
The Horror Murals are scary. I’m surprised that Homeland Security allows them to be there. The linked source material to the Denver Post was a dull read, but what did I expect? It did provide a poll showing Midge was one point ahead compared to the two points he was ahead last month. Of course this is pre-Biden-bounce for Obama. If I carried real weapons like those, I’d probably have to mail them back home, as I would claim they were grooming aids or get arrested. It reminds me of the eerie music they piped in from where the subway (The El) dropped off at O’Hare and you had two miles of moving sidewalks to actually get to the damn airport. That music didn’t last very long. Your trip doesn’t sound so exciting yet. Maybe after some heavy drinking things will get more interesting?
The last time I flew was February 2002 on what once was the “fun” airline, Southwest. The ancient stewardess, Midge’s mother I think, asked me to button-up my shirt further. I did, then decided she could fuck herself and unbuttoned it to where I always where shirts with buttons, so, I may be on the Do Not Fly List. Every time she walked by after that she clicked her heel into my hiking boots. My friend, Cheryl, was a little hungover and I was pretty sure she was going to strangle the bitch at some point. My travel budget is low these days…I may not find out for years if I can fly or not. I find traveling as much fun as the dentist, although I won $4,000 on a dollar draw poker machine in Laughlin, Nevada that trip visiting Mom and Dad. I thought it was a quarter machine and was betting the max $3 and got a Royal Flush with a deuce, looked at the payout, which was $40 bucks, got rid of the deuce and won. I actually walked away with the money contrary to all of my other experiences gambling. Man, I am rambling.
Sincerely and respectfully,
Mr-Clark
It’s the looming apocalypse brought about by the threat of gay marriage (hence the rainbow). The SS trooper is clearly a reference to Ahnold, the king of the gay marrieds in CA. The dove represents the righteous Jeebus-lovers who are impaled on Ahnold’s impressively phallic veto sword. I have no idea what is up with the teddybear. I mean, that’s just fucking sick.
Am I right? Do I win something if I am?
The 3-Legged Man: my favorite comment ever
OK, I googled denver airport mural and there are heaps of crazy ass sites about how it depicts the coming of the apocalypse or something about the Illuminiti…um, all I can say is, WTF? - My fave line
“Plus, all the symbolism that is apparent in the layout of the new Denver airport says that it is a control center for world control. There is a lot of “secret society” symbology at the airport. We started researching all of this to find out what it all means. It’s all very scary. A gentlemen by the name of AL Bielek, who has been involved in some very unusual government projects in the past, told me that the Denver area is where the establishment of the Western sector of the New World Order will be in the United States. “
http://www.theforbiddenknowledge.com/hardtruth/aliensindenver.htm
Just have to share this link….fun reading
The so-called horror murals are just the latest campaign ads for the Republican party. The first hint is that the white kid is the only one doing any work while all the ethnic kids watch and play music (as a sidenote, I think he’s making some wicked boomerang of death, which would make more sense because we already have machines that do the work of plowshares). Secondly, children are dying in the mural, which implies that younger people (like Obama) are weak. Third, a rainbow emanates from the antichrist/Dr. Doom guy… is he gay? Finally, much like McCain pushes Lieberman as potential VP in an effort to make his real choice, Romney, less repulsive to “real Christians”, when Coloradans pull the lever in November they’ll think, “McCain’s not as bad as that homo, fetish-mask-wearing, nazi, antichrist guy who kills kids.” And by the time they find out that he is, the democrats will say it’s too late to impeach him.
I’m 87% sure that the guy in the Curious George t-shirt in the posted link is in one of my classes. If it is the same guy I know that he is carrying a gas mask in his backpack.
Also, I have been through DIA more times than I can count and I don’t remember ever seeing those murals.
If Colorado gets constipated,
Denver is where they insert the syringe.
The results end up in the republican party.
Jerry w
http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com
Larry McAwful:
Don’t you understand? The forecasters will predict sunny skies and a 0% chance of rain just before the torrential downpour comes. That’s how you’ll know it was God’s wrath.
i for one think we need more murals like this and less of the big W. that guy’s photo is more common than kim jong il’s and that my friend is not the freedom of speech fox tells me about.
So, judging from the mural, Red Dawn was a documentary, and the Cubans still control Colorado and are very, very gay.
WagTehGod: Little known fact, both the Constitution and the Bible require that the various workers for Wonkette never all meet in the same place.
It’s for our own safety.
The 3-Legged Man: It’s funny, but my thesaurus doesn’t have another word for mural.
Serolf Divad: Ah. Actually, I didn’t know that. I don’t know anything about religion, in fact, because my parents sent me to public school, where I grew up ignorant and hostile toward all matters of faith.
Now about this “God” you mention—who is it? That sounds like a man’s name, but I’m not sure. Who is he (or she)? A local weatherman?
expatinOz: “the Denver area is where the establishment of the Western sector of the New World Order will be in the United States. “
Come on. Haven’t they read “The Stand”? Or at least watched the mini-series?
All of us non-sinners will be raptured anyway B4 the tribulation begins, so who cares?
Wait til you see the stallion statue with glowing red eyes outside the airport waiting to send you off.
Whoa, think I’ll leave Denver airport off my itinerary, unless the stormtroopers are representing some new Denver answer to the Village People?
Town & Country, eh? Is that like the Cadillac of minivans?
cal: - presently, the line at the Vegas books is 1-4 against - NWO conspiracists became disillusioned with Stephen King, after somebody let the cat out of the bag, and told them that his works are fiction, not enlightened current event analysis.
expatinOz: Holy ballsack of insanity. Where does a person get the time and energy to be that fucking crazy?
Not to worry, patriotic fun-loving Wonkette staff! President McCranky has sent the ironclad warship Merrimac up the toxic South Platte River to break the blockade, and Vice Presidents Hillary and Billary (joined at the overdrawn bank account) are sending Arkansas and New York marshalls overland.
By the time Pelosi is through telling delegates and the nation why impeachment and the popular vote are such bad ideas, you and the media slaves will be free again!!
Try not to get hit by God’s tornadoes. You have angered him by blogging on electric machines and by attending the DNC convention, which the Bible explicitly forbids. Maybe you will be spared.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/