Wonkette
MOST IMPORTANT POLITICAL STORY OF OUR LIVES: “The website Wonkette might have something to do with the proliferation of hoax messages. At 2:07 p.m. Wednesday, managing editor Ken Layne posted a step-by-step manual from a reader under the headline: Freak Out Your Friends With Fake Obama VP TXT. ‘We are proud to help cause confusion and excitement during this terrible boring week of no news at all,’ Layne wrote in an email to Politico.” [Politico]
I wonder which sharp mind at Politico kept them from running with the scoop that it was Johnny Fairplay?
Um. We have arrived? Do we all have sex now or commit suicide? One followed by the other?
AnnieGetYourFun: Which one comes first?
A small step for man; a giant leap for mankind. Whoever made that tip deserves grapes fed by ex-walnuts torturers and huge piles of abalone.
I wonder if Lieberman got my Lieberman text.
This is more entertaining than a turtle story.
Jesus fuck who is this o’ idiot whining about booze parties or enjoying fun pranks? Well let’s see … ah, there you are. Good-bye Forever, shitbird.
Ken Layne: Thank you, Pope Cat.
Ken Layne: Thank you! And if Jeff Gannon publishes a nasty story about Wonkette, then my guess was right.
Guilty as charged.
I texted John Edwards to a friend. I wanted her head to explode just once.
secretagentgirl: And that is why John Edwards is president of South Carolina.
Obviously his running mate will be a gay aborted Muslim fetus, so I don’t really see how this got all that attention in the first place.
Ken Layne is obviously the Guy Fawkes of our time…
Ugh, I wanted the dumb comments to remain, for Entertainment …. but I hit the wrong button, and now the person is actually dead, in John McCain’s 16th storage shed.
Me? Did I get banned? Because I like booze parties? I thought… I thought that was OK?
Oh, not me. Carry on. Also, I say group sex followed by drinking. Let’s ignore the whole suicide thing I mentioned earlier.
Ken Layne: Oh, it posted something over here? Well from the comments on the other thread, I don’t think we missed much.
AnnieGetYourFun: I’m way ahead of you on the drinking part. But group sex then more drinking is a compromise position I think we should consider.
wow, jesus, if you’re as entertained by stupidity as i am, those comments over on politico might just be enough to bring you to a slow burn of smug superiority for the remainder of your life. 50% of them seem to have read the post and retained the belief that Barry is indeed and in fact text messaging the veep choice to select supporters.
Bran flakes are better than Kellogg’s.
I will fight you, Pope Cat.
He’s NOT the Pope Cat, he’s a very naughty boy.
Willard!!! Willard!!!! Willard!!!
I say, Bravo! Not to be a killjoy, but Hopey has stretched this out about 2 days too long. Too much time on the edge of the seat makes American asses sore… At first I thought the text idea was brilliant, but at this point, it’s coming sometime Friday into Saturday- what’s the benefit? Wait for it: D-R-I-N-K…Y-O-U-R… O-V-A-L-T-I-N-E.
A crummy commerical??
Ahem- not that I doubt Sen. Obama’s judgement and wisdom. He shall prevail and rightly so.
shortsshortsshorts: What? Bran Flakes *are* Kelloggs.
http://www.kelloggs.co.uk/products/branflakes/Cereal/bran_flakes.aspx
And why do so many want Michael Phelps to be a running mate when he can only be a swimming mate?
WindbagCity: Yeah, I thought the call would come at 3 am but it’s already past 3 according to your post.
Barrel on, Barrack!
Darehead: middle of the night is what i’ve been expecting too…thats why i’ve waited to send out my message till now…
so, for a few folks in New Orleans…Ray Nagin it is…
i hope this doesnt cause any apoplectic strokes…
Outstando: I most certainly did not
You sure know how to keep a fan base waiting, Mr. “The One.” It wasn’t always like that, though, was it, Hopey? There was a time when you used to lock the door and take us in your arms….. But this endless waiting is too much, Barry! We have inhaled and drunk every move you’ve made. Where have we gone wrong? Why treat us like this now!?
anabellum: Young, inexperienced, black and too popular, that “One.” Wait, can he bowl? Nagin for President, 2016! If
Michelle doesn’t run.
Outstando: Lieb da man alone.
What, Scarlett Johansson is not going to be Vice President?
AnnieGetYourFun: I’m up for all three.
lol! haXX0red! Does this mean Wonkette drinks Dr Pepper and wanks to furry anime now?
Pelagius: “Now?” You’re implying it didn’t before.
Wonkette is contributing to the disintegration of America. I hope you’re happy.
All this does is prove that you all are secret PUMAs.
The Real JR Revisted: And, are “you” not part of this Wonkeratti conspiracy, amigo?
But how are we going to fake McCain’s notification by passenger pigeon?
ReelectTilden: Wow, he’s moving up. I thought it was going to be by pony express.
Ken Layne: That’s sad. Can you bring those comments back? I was just noticing that Gawker (can we speak the name?) has added a “disemvowel” feature that acts as a “first step” toward banning. It actually pulls the vowels out of comments (knd f lk ths) and then puts a little icon at the end that reads WARNING: YOU ARE A DOUCHEBAG. FIRST YOU LOSE VOWELS. NEXT, YOU WILL BE SWIMMING WITH ZEE FISHES.
But seriously: when is Barry going to announce that he’s chosen Bill Clinton as his running mate?
I am warmed to the cockles of my heart. Little Wonkette, all grown up and wreaking havoc willy nilly.
Obama/Layne 2008
Are we celebrities now, are we gonna be in a WALNUTS! add about Hopey??!! Oh, if only!
Doglessliberal: I too am swelling with pride, or maybe it’s the morning coffee providing its digestive catalytic function.
Ken Layne for Text Anarchy Overlord.
Around here everyone leaves at lunch on Fridays, so…. whither Hope-ster?
loquaciousmusic: That is wonderful. Also evidence of Zionist conspiracy, as it’d be useless against Israelis.
You know about Discordianism, yes? To quote Wikipedia, it is ‘a modern religion centered on the idea that chaos is as important as order…It has been called Zen for roundeyes’.
So, hey, keep on injecting chaos into the universe.
And now I shall go off alone and partake joyously of a hot dog on a Friday as per the ‘tenets’ of Discordianism.
I’m so excited, I need to pee.
*looks around for a suitable target*
I nominate that chick in the picture next to the Politico story to be VP. Of my bed.
*claps loudly* *wipes tear* I’m sorry for showing emotion, but Wonkette is the only news site I can read with any regularity anymore. I was dead sick of this crazy election but now you Ken Layne with your fantastical mirthful glee and you Sarah K with your biting ironic wit…You all have reshaped my life! Thanks to all of you, I can run giggling through the dainty waves of politicoe as they lap against my dainty feet. Where before I was a sullen sunbather, constantly washing sand off of my feet with a bitter water bottle; I now frolic with abandon in the cesspool that is our nation’s “greatest asset!” Thank you. Thank you.
loquaciousmusic: Disemvowel? That’s terrible. From now on I will never use aardvark or amylidosis in any message.
What the hell really is this “politico” thing, point blank? It’s a little Capitol Hill rag bankrolled by the Allbrittons–who, contrary to what people think, don’t really have that much endless cash. There are few ads, few readers, little real investigative reporting, an over-emphasis on rambling items on a web site–and some former Post reporters who should have stayed at the Post.
How long til this folds under heavy financial debt?
thefrontpage: Until Moon buys it out. Then it can go on losing money forever.
I just go texted that I was “2 KEWL” and “Q T”. Was that from Obama?
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
I’m sort of curious, after reading the comments, who that “Big Chief” guy is, and why he’s so obsessed with DNCrs wearing buttons…