Wonkette
MILE-HIGH HAPPY ENDINGS: “Whether You’re Looking for a Stiff Drink or a Swedish Massage, the Mile High City Has Plenty of Ways To Recharge During the Democratic National Convention.” [Associated Content]
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Is that a kermit on your back or are you just happy to see me?
I really have always pictured Kermit as a bottom. Weird.
There is no high in the world like Rocky Mountain high. Didn’t this dork crash a plane too?
Or, if you’re just looking to get stiff and discharge (and have somebody massage hot stones with your rocks) then visit Manhunt’s very own Denver twosome:
http://gayzette.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/20080805_manhunt01.jpg
Associated Content continues its war on grammar.
They were so ahead of their time when they sang Rainbow Connection.
If, on the other hand, you’re looking for a stiff young Swede, Minneapolis/St. Paul will welcome you soon!
Just below the frame: $20 Bob Allen
The Incomparable Tiny Valdez: He died flying an experimental plane built by Burt Rutan, the same guy who built Space Ship One and a bunch of other planes and spacecraft. John Denver was also one of the main people behind the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, and a good friend of Hunter Thompson and Jimmy Carter. Strange world.
Nice article, apparently in Denver you can eat, drink, ride a bike, or get a massage. Which makes it exactly like every other city in America.
‘What to do in Elvira, Iowa.’
Speaking of mile-high, John looks pretty darn happy about whatever it is that Master Kermit is doing with his hidden frog’s mitt. Whooo
But seriously, this Denver thing will hopefully even the balance here. Wonkette’s east coast and central - Windy City, broad shoulders, Rodham-Obama territory - operatives have a jump on us Left Coast agents. Out here on the Pacific beaches, we don’t wake up until noon, which is already sunset and cocktails time in D.C. and those other liberal mainstream Jihadist bastions of power and drudge.
With the two cornvention holes opening up in the middle, a little more fair and balanced will be the Wonknuts gallery pot shots and highballs. Looking forward to it.
Yawn. Time for coffee and another bong hit.
Scarab: Seriously. The point of this post was what?
My first boyfriend lives in Denver, speaking of good stiff massages.
Oscar Folsom Cleveland: Win!
trophy(forparticipation)wife: And not even a reach-around for John Denver. For shame, Kernit!
Oscar Folsom Cleveland: Do you need a roommate?
Ken Layne:
John Denver died by crashing a VariEze? Wow, he must have been just about the only person to do so. I thought those things were virtually un-stallable. Used to see quite a few of them when I flew around to airshows all over the Northwest with my cousin.
Ken Layne: So you’re basically saying he was one of those elitist Hollywood libruls like HST? Oh wait…
Lascauxcaveman: Oh, LongEze, same diff. Got to fill those fuel tanks, John.
Gopherit v2.0: Hey look again. Kermit is trying. His flipper just isn’t long enough. Probably explains why the frog ended up with some Clinton intern.
Ken Layne: Ken, You’re telling me.
Lascauxcaveman: It was LongEZ. Apparently, they are easy to stall when you can’t switch to your reserve tank.
John “Denver”’s father was an Airplane God — one of the Great B-58 Hustler pilots. (The B-58 was one of the Great Airplanes.)
His son was killed by crashing an airplane that was/is famous for being easy to fly, and virtually crash-proof. (He ran out of gas because he had the tank selector set in the wrong position, and somehow managed to stall the thing while trying to change tanks.)
What a dork.
Still, I liked his music.
Way I heard it, he switched to the reserve tank, but it was empty.
Reputedly a grand guy, but God, “Rocky Mountain High” is perhaps the most boring song since “Row Row Row Your Boat.”
Things to do in Denver when you’re a dead folksinger or frog.
Neilist: I’m not too big on his music, but I like the part about flying small planes, especially the EXP ones
Too much fun.
gliberal: Technically the Frog is dead too. (the other Hansen, who doesn’t want you to have a seat on a dateline segment).
I think I finally understand this photo. I always heard Kermit was hung like a horse.
Lascauxcaveman: Damn your smiley face it has destroyed my stupid comment!
regisgoat: Re: “Rocky Mountain High” is perhaps the most boring song since “Row Row Row Your Boat.”
Agreed, but now you have stuck that song in my head for the next several days. Uffh! Just for that: “Thank God I’m A Country Boy” will play in yours until 6:48 p.m. Eastern, Sunday. Don’t forget the clapping.
According to the sources at WeBeHigh.com (a journalistic outlet slightly more reputable than Associated Content) the marijuana tolerance level in Denver is a healthy 4.9 / 5, with prices of $50 for an 1/8 oz. of dank or $50 for an oz. of Mexican brick swag. Predicted DNC attraction more popular than Swedish massages: Toke for Hopey.
http://www.webehigh.com/city/detail.php?CITYID=2037
poor Denverites [or whatever they're called], is that the best they can do?…sounds about as much fun as the night before a colonoscopy…
:::Snark off::
My favorite John Dutchedorff [?] song is “Leaving On A Jet Plane.”
It’s one of the first things I really learned how to play on a guitar, and I loved the version that Peter, Paul and Mary did on the “1700″ album.
I still like the song, even after “Armaggedon.”
:::Snark on:::
You have to be a Complete Dork to crash a Vari-ease, particularly that way. Even if you run out of gas, you can put the thing down virtually anywhere. It stalls at about 46 kts. without a significant fuel load, for Christsakes.
kumbaya, brothers and sisters.
SOOoo many Democrats are in line to join the Mile High Club!
Best. Alt-text. Evar.
Also, for added excitement, you can visit the Mint.
sonny hibbert’s version is best.
west jamaica…
Oh, John Denver. That makes sense. It was a complete non-sequitur when I first looked at it and thought that was Martina Navratilova.
And “Why are There so Many Songs About Rainbows” will now be the RNC’s anthem.
“Why are there so many Songs About Rainbows” will now be the RNC’s anthem.
shortsshortsshorts: FUCK see what happens when you tell me I have a duplicate post? I ACTUALLY DO A DUPLICATE POST. Dammit. Sorry Wonkette peoplz.
From the expression on his face, one would guess that John Denver is the one with a hand shoved up his ass.
We used to change the words to a certain John Denver tune to fit my brother’s bouts of holiday alcoholism:
Please Robert, don’t get drunk this Christmas!
I don’t want to see my mama cryyyy…
I never really liked John Denver. Or Christmas. Or my family.
For anyone interested in the full story of John Denver’s demise, go to Bruce Tognazzini’s website ‘AskTog’ - J.D. was no dork; he was an excellent pilot (and a great singer!). The plane had a fault (which came to light too late to save him), and he wasn’t the first to run foul of it. Other pilots who experienced the problem were lucky enough to have it happen at high altitude, giving them time to change tanks and recover. Unfortunately, J.D. was only a couple of hundred feet off the deck when the problem struck, giving him no chance to pull up- Even Chuck Jaeger would have bought the farm.
It’s hard to fumble with the backassward fuel selector knob with any clarity when you got the granola shits.
So, I’m waiting. Where do you score the best pot?
Lionel Hutz Esq.:
From the DEA.
A long time ago, back when I was about 19, which, you can take my word for it, was a very, very long time ago, there was this girl I wanted to go out with. Small, thin, blonde, sort of a vaguely hippie sort who seemed confused about everything - I don’t actually remember her name - but I wanted to make love with her desperately. (Let the adverb pull double duty, it can handle it.)
Anyway, when she said she liked John Denver, I bit my tongue and didn’t say, as have some of the posters above, “John Denver is a huge dork” or “Don’t you think that ‘Country Road’ song is slightly over-rated?,” as was my first inclination. No, I went out and bought two tickets to the next John Denver concert.
I never did get to boff the young lady, in fact I never got a 2nd date, but I came away from the concert as a John Denver fan.
Just felt like sharing.
Lascauxcaveman: He ran out of gas about five miles off the Pacific coast after taking off from Monterey Airport. I think the plane was a Long-EZ, which is a two seater. The FAA found no evidence he had topped off befor take off. (Last time I flew out of Monterey there was no 24 hour fuel ops, but that was 1975) Add that to the fact his plane, although fully inspected by the FAA on construction, had duel fuel tanks and a switch over valve in the middle and behind the seats.
Scarab: Just a piece of hard-won advice… don’t, don’t, DON’T ever get a massage in Elvira, Iowa.
Ken Layne: one of the embarassing things about me is I love John Denver. My parents played it all the time when I was little. I am not so bad as to have it on my iPod or own CDs, but I can sing along to Almost Heaven.
JamesMichaelCurley: I was sad when he died.
Doglessliberal: He was a gentle soul.