Wonkette
In 2004 all the Republicans hated the Democratic ex-Navy plutocrat married to an insanely wealthy (and just insane) woman. But now that it is 2008, all the Democrats hate the Republican ex-Navy plutocrat married to an insanely wealthy, insane woman. How awful is Fat Cat John McCain? So awful that he literally has no idea how many homes “he” owns.
Maybe like a half-dozen or so?
Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) said in an interview Wednesday that he was uncertain how many houses he and his wife, Cindy, own.
“I think - I’ll have my staff get to you,” McCain told us in Las Cruces, N.M. “It’s condominiums where - I’ll have them get to you.”
The correct answer is at least four, located in Arizona, California and Virginia, according to his staff. Newsweek estimated this summer that the couple owns at least seven properties.
This is why everybody on John McCain’s staff has quit, twice: because whenever he is asked a question that cannot be answered with “War is hell, and that’s why I have such a raging boner for War,” he punts the question to his poor beleaguered staff, who have to figure out how to answer the question in a way that does not reveal their boss is senile or an asshole.
Exclusive: McCain unsure how many houses he owns [Politico]
At least Tony Rezko didn’t help him buy them.
Yeah, he’s not an eelight at all.
He’s an ordinary joe. All the middle class folk in my neighborhood own on the average 17 homes each and drive a different H2 or Lexus each day. Me? I’m the proud owner of 20 homes (one for each month and for the eight mistresses/strippers I support) and fly to work in a solid gold helicopter.
He better floss the pouch. There’s an entire bratwurst in there!
And he’s also a dick. A big, old, smelly dick. That should be stomped, or set on fire or something.
“I sleep in a drawer!”
Why do you hate POWs so much that you have to call attention to both their ownership of several mansions and their senility in trying to count how many? Why, that reminds me of a story about a cross in the dirt…
You said in another article last week that he had NINE, count ‘em, NINE houses.
The Indian Room still haunts me - it doesn’t jive with this article about McCain targeting Navjos for genocide:
http://www.cain2008.org/
RuperttheBear: I know someone reliable who knows someone reliable and McCain has about nine inches that are as “big around as a beer can.” Don’t tell Hopey.
Canmon (the Inadequate): It’s good to know that Mark Penn found a job trolling blogs.
I’ve never heard of a candidate for national office this inept… “I’ll have my staff get to you” ???? About how many HOUSES YOU OWN YOU OLD FRACKING ASS?!?!
Yeah, keep right on going with those ads calling Hopey “elite” there Mr. Johnny Lunchbox Everyman… You Dick…
accidental_tourist: You heard it from a gay Viet Cong prison guard, didn’t you?
The insinuation that John McCain - a former prisoner of war - would be a senile asshole is just outrageous.
My friends, some of the wealthiest people I know are the unhappiest. The number of homes you have does not– Screw it. FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, ALAN!!
ManchuCandidate: Solid gold helicopters are the only way to get around in Arizona, after all…
“My friends, wherever I lay my torture-twisted, cancer-riddled head is my home. I don’t have long to achieve my lifelong dream, so please don’t let my multiple home-ownership stand between me and the throne… strike that… me and the Oval Office.
“My friends, the longest I’ve ever slept in one place was Hanoi. FUCKIN’ HANOI!!! While you were all smokin’ dope and banging gook-lover Jane Fonda, I was eating Rice-A-Roachy and trying to jerk off with my one good foot. And I was one of the LUCKY ones, because everyone else in that war died in my arms.
“My friends, did I mention the war?”
But… but… but… Theresa Heinz Kerry is an elitist bee-yatch!!! And John Kerry faked his purple hearts!
Five and a half years! Five and a half years! Don’t you understand?
Teresa Heinz (married to some horrible ex-Dem presidential candidate) is/was far wealthier than Cindy McCain.
from Wikipedia:
Heinz/Kerry owned lots of houses, too.
The Kennedys were not impoverished.
And remember a guy called FDR? Here’s something from his NYT obit:
http://www.nytimes.com/learning/general/onthisday/bday/0130.html
On the the Straight Talk Express, McCain calls those physical structures you call homes Straight Talk Stations, greenhorns. So the senator’s answer is understandable.
accidental_tourist: I’ve heard Tom Cruise is gay.
Canmon (the Inadequate): And they also weren’t bought with the blood of Vince Foster and a cat.
3 million dollars a year, makes you middle class?
His Oval Office pose.
Political Addict: FDR’s New Deal completely screwed over the poor and turned them into jewish slaves who built pyramids.
Grendel- more like one of my mom’s good friends who was a good friend of Marie the Flame Thrower or whatever the hell they called her. Apparently back in the day, tales of his huge cock were legendary. Isn’t that who rodeo queen beer heiresses tend to marry?
I am Elmer J. Fudd, millionaire. I own a mansion an a yacht.
Political Addict: What’s your point? That you’re a shill for Republicans?
FIVE AND HALF HOUSES, ALAN!
Political Addict: Yes, and they cared about those that weren’t as lucky as them. McCain, not so much. He can’t even bring himself to care about taking care of veterans, never mind the poor.
Political Addict: what’s your point? mc cain isn’t running against those people … and he is the one calling his opponent an elitist. is this part of that points program to win a free set of Truk Nutz?
Political Addict: Yeah, you’re right, lots of people who run for president are rich! But I bet most of them can remember how many houses they have, don’t have massive credit card debt, and pay their taxes on time. All of which you cannot say about John McCain.
Political Addict:
Fuckwad. Are you really comparing FDR to McCain? They are contemporaries (and cripples), I guess, but the comparison pretty much stops there.
Still, no matter how you look at it, no matter how many angles this story has, and when the final count is done, no matter how many domiciles McCain is found to have, it just can’t be denied that Barry Obama is an elitist. That is the one thing we all agree on.
I live in a van down by the river, but right next to my van are three other vans that I own.
None of them run or drive, but I consider them to be my other homes. So I have four homes just like John “Angry Dwarf” McCain. So lay off him I sez, its not his fault his cunt trollop second wife is a beer baroness millionaire!!
Mumble Softly: You probably pay as much in taxes as WALNUTS, too.
Guppy06: Ah! Now that’s a meme who’s time has finally come! http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xc94j_elmer-j-fudd-millionaire
Darehead: I totally agree. Next thing, one of these “new” commenters (read: “non-star”) will be talking about how all the elitists like to put babies on spikes.
No, what’s important is that a president should be able to remember a few key things: 1) Czechoslovakia doesn’t exist anymore; 2) The difference between Shi’ites and Sunnis; 3) Iraq and Afghanistan have no border; 4) How many fuckin’ houses the son of a bitch owns; 5) How tall his wife was when he left for the war; 6) What that red button in the oval office is for, etc.
FIVE AND A HALF YEARS and a medium-sized third world country’s GDP in property taxes.
Political Addict: The point is not that he is rich. The point is that he is running with the ball Mark Penn passed him and painting Obama as aloof and out of touch with the “common man” and an elitist with a big house, blah blah. The hypocrisy (and complete distortion of reality when you look at the lives of both men) is stunning.
Howie Kurtz makes some interesting points on this topic:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/08/21/AR2008082100796.html?hpid=topnews
capitol hillbilly: hey, is there a program to win free TruckNutz? I missed this??????
Political Addict: I think you missed the point by a few hundred miles. No one would give a shit how many houses McCain owns if he hadn’t the balls to call Hopey, who owns *one*, an out-of-touch elitist.
DAMN KIDS! GET OFF MY LAWNS!
Another poor dirty trick by the anti-Maverick media in an effort to frustrate Johnny Mac during his daily 18-hour campaigning: surely having to think of all the different beds McCain regularly sleeps in makes the man pine for naptime.
In fairness, he also tends to forget which blonde bitch is his wife.
Doglessliberal: http://bythebayou.com/?p=1523 Seems gramps can’t get people to post anything positive about him without bribing them. I believe it was a technique pioneered by his slanty-eyed guards while he was getting BJ’s from his communist nurses in nam while selling out his country.
In all fairness, though, I would have sold out for one of those cute hello kitty backpacks those people are always carrying around.
Doglessliberal:
“The point is that he is running with the ball Mark Penn passed him and painting Obama as aloof and out of touch with the “common man” and an elitist with a big house, blah blah.”
Republicans would never have figured out Barry is aloof all on their own. I blame Hillary. She probably passed along other things too. Like he’s from the foriegn nation of Hawaii and that his skin pigment is different than most Republicans. This kind of insider information could only have come from the former Democratic frontrunner. She will stop at nothing. She’s bent on world domination.
I’m not sure how many houses I own, either, and I’m a Democrat.
Wow. Who are these new “commentaters”? I bet they get a double bonus if their comment makes it on Wonkette.
I live in FDR’s home county. It is the only county in the USA that voted against him ALL FOUR TIMES because he was a traitor to his class.
No one cares if you’re rich and running for office, if you don’t then try and make yourself out to be a common man–you know, creamy Texan accent even though you were born in Connecticut, went to prep schools and then Yale, etc.
Again wow. Just wow. You are trying to take on the smartest people in the entire Untied States of America, the most elitist of elitists (Wonkette readers consistently like at least 85 of the Stuff White People Like) with the most retarded shit ever.
Political Addict: HA HA!!! I knew that would end poorly for him. But I hope you guys didn’t scare him off because I love him.
Political Addict: To quote the greatest political mind of our time: “So?”
pdiddycornchips: I was referring to the Penn memo noting that Obama’s “non-Americanness”, among other BS accusations, was something to stress. The fact that Barry is not aloof, and thus not something would need to “figure out”, was also my point.
But point-mmissing seems a theme lately.
thefrontpage: Um, then you’re a clueless asshole.
scott_dog:
I think McCorpse has a Hello Kunty backpack.
scott_dog: not to seem easily offended, as I am not, but let’s avoid the “slanty-eyed” thing, OK? It sort of fell with a thud there.
Just wait till a few years from now when a reporter asks him: “How many wars are we fighting right now?” and McCain replies with the exact same answer.
Doglessliberal: This hear thoughtful-like approach of Obama’s ain’t gonna get him nowheres here in America.
Doglessliberal: if you don’t need any more TruckNutz, you can also get a free Official McCain 08 Butt Plug.
N8Ma:
Wait, you live in FDR’s home county and you’re calling us elitists? I bet there’s a nice selection of white cougars. Lucky bastard.
Johnny Zhivago: Barry’s gotta get himself some Zubazz and a big three wheeled motorcylcle and ride around with a giant medalion round his neck…Then he’d be a shoe in.
thefrontpage: Good thing you’re not running for president, then.
capitol hillbilly: oh, be still my heart.
I vote we all go beat a puma and return when morale improves.
smashtheduck: hieress, lobbyist… who can remember the difference?!
Doglessliberal:
Barry’s aloofness is a subjective question. If more people view him as aloof than do not, he’s in trouble. The label may not fit in your eyes but he does give off that vibe sometimes.
pdiddycornchips: Aloofness is also associated with healthy pooping. Sociable people tend to eat more and be more constipated. I read this on the Internetz.
If you need a staff to keep track of how many houses you own, shouldn’t you have an honorific like “Baron” or “Cockknocker” at the beginning of your name?
Way to marry rich, fucktard.
norbizness: We longed for a drawer.
Guppy06: FTW.
N8Ma: Let’s mock them, yesh, but with (to the tune of Bedknobs and Broomsticks)
buttsecs and TRUCKNUTZ
And cunt trollop beatings.
GET OFF MY LAWN!
Senile old fart
Who sucked Charles Keating.
FIVE AND A HALF YEARs,
A pouch on his face,
Out of touch mansions all over the place!
Etc. etc.
Cause I don’t come here for the syllogisms, let me tell you.
accidental_tourist: You have a good relationship with your Mom’s friends if they’re talking cock sizes with you. Not creepy at all.
Gopherit v2.0: Not if he also requires a staff to remember whether or not he’s eaten his five o’clock dinner and make sure he doesn’t hold a press conference in his bathrobe. In this case, it’s not “Baron”. It’s “Senile Fucker”.
Gosh, must take a private jet to find them all.
Gopherit v2.0:
I have my doubts. For a guy with an alleged big dick, McCain’s acting like he’s got a 1/2 inch hard.
Also, when he figures out the answer to this or any other question, he can have his people call my people (or cat in lieu thereof).
Lay off the guy. Upkeep on those houses must be expensive.
Maybe that’s why his tax plan gives him a $300,000 tax cut and a $319 tax cut to the middle class.
capitol hillbilly: I think Political Addict might have bought those out.
smashtheduck: Ahhh…..so less a staff than a mobile rest home. Maybe they ought to rename the “Straight Talk Express” something more soothing like “Shady Acres on Wheels”?
itgetter: As long as you have your health, you have everything. Particularly if you have your wife’s fortune to enjoy it with. FIVE AND A HALF HOUSES, ALLAN!
Gopherit: They don’t talk cock sizes with me, but if they wanted to I’d laugh right along with them. After all, they’re in their 70’s now. Besides, aren’t 99% of posts on here drooling speculation as to Obama’s penis dimensions? McCain and Obama just need to drop drawers and whip ‘em out on a table to see who wins this thing.
In defense of my mother, she was all milk and cookies and do your homework prim and proper until I grew up and had kids of my own. Only then did she open up and start telling me about her “missing years” before I was born. It was fascinating and she should write a book. Anyway, this is all old hat as the story was told to me 30+ years ago. And her friend of a friend wasn’t bragging about McCain’s endowment, but more reliving the horror of that “huge thing.” As long as she was unhappy and complaining, that makes it all right. Right? More milk and cookies dear?
I kinda expected McCain to say something like “My friends, my opponent looked at home in France and Germany recently. But I have only one home, my friends: The United States of America.”
But my friends, I do know how many baronial bowel movements I have had in the last 72 hours.
Such a great picture! He’ll sinking his teeth into your poor little soul once he wins.
Kucinich lives in a humble little tree house/cookie factory. That’s why I wanted to vote for him.
pdiddycornchips: Hyde Park is a lifeless shithole. Dunkin Donuts is the town center.
Godot: My friends, can I borrow some bus fare?
trophy(forparticipation)wife: Nope. Donuts are tasty. Hyde Park’s town center is the regenstein library.
dearcatastrophecarlos: Sen. John McCain, former prisoner of war (note: that is now his official name), is biting into the minced remains of a 1000 failed servants.
PuffAdder: Nah. There’s a live baby kitten in that bun
Doglessliberal: Actually I meant to say gook. Sorry for the misquote. I have a hard time keeping track of all of McCain’s hate speech. http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/opinion/hongop.shtml
scott_dog: whoa, sorry–I missed that totally!
His abacus doesn’t go up to ten and the counting boy he hired has his monthly day off. How else was he supposed to count to 10, some electrified countin’ device powered by the sun? What is this, the 20th century?
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
I think in McNasty’s case, home is where your Pampers are.
grendel: “gay Viet Cong prison guard” is redundant. And about those 5.5 years of being surrounded with those thin sweaty asian boys in torn clothes, why that could give a guy enough wood to build Noah’s ark and stuff it with a one eyed trouser snake.
But that’s not why we’re all here today. Or is it?
Jerry w
http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com
Political Addict: AAAAND thanks for reminding me why I’m a cynical bitch.
liquiddaddy: Good point, but when you’re McNasty’s age, they’re called Depends, not Pampers. ‘Cause no one cares if you’re “pampered” when you’re old and tired and wrinkled.
It’s a moment that perfectly captures McCain’s senility and obscene wealth. You just can’t make this stuff up!
And I’m not saying McCain’s senile, but my 92 year-old great uncle was more lucid on his deathbed.
If not for the Reuter’s poll and the venom that regularly spews from the McCain camp, I’d feel like I was beating up on my grandfather.
(Oh and btw - Progressive Accountability has the number of homes at 10 (HuffPo article))
Jukesgrrl: “He’s a big boy now.”
Canmon (the Inadequate): No he just used the money that Cindi cruelly kept from her poor abandoned sister who had the terrible misfortune of being the child of the often unappreciated 1st wife.