Wonkette
Your favorite pretend girlfriend Rachel Maddow, whose regular fights with Pat Buchanan this year have become the stuff of comedic television legend, has earned her very own television show. It will air on MSNBC at 9 p.m., following angry old Keith Olbermann. She will replace some show that nobody watches hosted by Dan Abrams, who in the last couple of years has gone from running MSNBC to having his time slot usurped by some uppity short-hair. [NYT/TV Decoder]
But who will replace Pat Buchannen?
wait. She’s not my real girlfriend?
Congrats Rachel!!!!!! Nbc really has grown a pair lately
Awesome. She’s earned it, having to put up with an inept Dan Abrams and Pat Buchanan, who probably still thinks she just needs to meet a nice fella.
She’s the cutest, even in this picture.
Sweet. Two witty liberals back-to-back on teh teevee. Now, if we can just convince MSNBC to get rid of “Morning Joe” (do you see what they did there? HAR HAR HAR) we’ll be all set.
I love her. Great move by MSNBC.
SuperRounder: They’re proly still perplexed that Abrams could never “seal the deal”, as it were.
Wouldn’t it be cool if she got to do her own hair and wardrobe and started appearing on teevee looking like she does in the picture?
loudmouthredhead: I think Mika may get rid of him the old fashioned way.
is she going to keep the air america show?
Is she going to have a life-size Pat Buchanan punching bag? And a set of boxing gloves, of course.
Perhaps NBC has declared war on McCain in response.
Stop rubbing it in that she’s my pretend girlfriend, or my pretend boyfriend will kick your ass.
Do you think if she had “Puerto Rican” Terry on he’d try and hit on her with offers of booze and sex from Hillz? Lawd, that might scare her straight AND republican.
Here’s to you, Ms. Maddow. I’ve been a fan since your Air America days. Don’t you change a bit!
Olbermann followed by Maddow? So, that’s, what… two full hours of masturbation per night for me? I’m not entirely sure that I should engage is that much self-abuse.
Pffft, shows what you know Newell. My pretend girlfriend is Alicia Sacramone.
Poor Alicia, you may have been robbed of a bronze in Beijing, but you won the gold in my pants.
….wait, what were we talking about?
Yay! I’m a straight dude — but I’m totally gay for Rachel.
Between her and kranky Keith, the IQ’s are definitely a lot higher than any other cable feed.
Isn’t that the guy from the ‘American Pie’ movies?
Godot: Hey now, she’s mine! Mmmmmm.
Can I pay her to get a different haircut? Other than that, yes, brilliant news. But someone back me up on the haircut thing…
Wait, so I was the only one watching Verdict? I sorta liked that Abrams fella, but Rachel is the best. She made Countdown watchable for the week that she subbed for Keith.
…and will CNN finally get a fucking clue?? probably not.
The magic all begins on 9/8! My birthday! Thanks, MSNBC. No, really. Thank you. No irony.
Best TV news in a long time. Rachel Rules! Definitely the “wild card” in my fantasy threesome.
Landstander: Are you referring to her hair in that pic, or her current hair? Because the style she has now is lesbian chic perfection and I would scowl at you for suggesting otherwise.
Both Pat Buchanan and Joe Scarbourough are eating their hats right now. She consistently skewers the both of them thus making Joe run to the mornings.
itgetter: I liked Abrams too. But that show is a terrible format for him. But he did have some great commentators on that show. There’s a couple of black women he’s had on there that shivs em right in the gut each time.
Rachel tends to use facts. Probably won’t play too well on the teevee.
itgetter: I liked Abrams fine, if only because he took no shit from the wingers that came on with no facts and only talking points.
But I think Rachel, O’ Sweet Rachel, is perhaps one of the best thinking on her feet.
Advocatus_Diaboli: Don’t worry, like the rest of them, she’ll soften up.
The Real JR Revisted: Yeah, it wasn’t the greatest, especially since it started to completely revolve around that stupid FL kidnapping case. But I sort of loved the addition of him and Contessa Brewer at the end of each show. I’m a sap like that.
itgetter: I liked Abrams too.
I watched him, too, but for some reason he seemed to get whinier and whinier each passing week. Plus, I got tired of hearing about the Austrian Sex Bunker, and the trailer parker with the missing child.
Sweet. Another outspoken Lesbian on the teevee. Ellen and Rachel will take over the world! Yay! In all honesty, I’m very happy for her, but will miss her Air America radio show (if she ends up giving it up, which considering the time constraints of MSNBC, I’m guessing is likely)
Dear Diary,
I’ve been sending my darling Rachel little pieces of my belly lint for over a year now and still,NO RESTRAINING ORDER!!!!!!! She’s not at all like the others!!! This just might be the one!!! Wish me luck!!!! I’m soooooo happy!!!!!
MG
Good for her and good for us. No snark here. She’s smart, polished, and presents actual facts–all very refreshing to see on a MSM outlet.
The butch cut accentuates her meaty neck, though, which is kind of distracting.
Matthews, Gregory, Olbermann and now Maddow? For homosexuals in a row? Wow.
Kinky Friedman was once a guest on Abrams show. I knew, at that point, that the Verdict would not be upheld. (LULZ!!)
Maybe this will also mark the end of Brad Blakeman’s teevee appearances. Much good can come from this, they just have to do something about David Gregory’s show. Maybe replace it with panda-cam.
shortsshortsshorts: I’ll only believe that when, on her show, WALNUTS! becomes an unmitigated Maverick and Hopey becomes an exotic other.
itgetter: Senhor Tambor: I heart Dan. But mostly because I want to sexually assault him. Too bad he only dates Jews. As for the Austrian Sex Bunker, I never grew tired of the interviews with “Jennifer”. Everytime she comes on I have to mute the teevee. I become very uncomfortable with people who do not interview well. Why Dan would continue to put her on is well beyond my pay grade.
My daughter is dating a guy that looks exactly like that. He’s a sk8erboi
…geez, I pass out from excess alcohol consumption for an hour and the gates of hell are thrown open! Well I would like to welcome our new snarky lesbian overlords!
Not sure she’s gonna last all that long. Barry will need a press sec/personal apologist and she’s got the skilz for that gig.
itgetter: Totally. That segment was working. Though you have to admit it was a total steal from the Anderson segment with his personal fruitfly.
sweetits: Suh-weet! I’m Jewish! Does that mean that Dan and I are meant 2b together 4evar?!?!
The Real JR Revisted: I’ve never watched a full segment with Anderson Cooper. Does this make me less of a woman?
Advocatus_Diaboli: Headlines will be:
“Puppies:
How Cute Are They?”
you see, Dan, this is what happens when you party in public with Geraldo Rivera
I told you to use the Anti-Viral spray
Oh, but will she host “Lock Up” from a dank southern women’s prison?
(sigh) Sorry, I’ve been watching way too much Olympics.
Wow! What a week for Rachel. Didn’t she also marry Portia di Rossi over the weekend?
AngryBlakGuy: Now you’re just rubbing it in. I’ve been at work this whole time. Not that working, but still.
I liked the Abrams show. They should’ve kept him and dumped MC Rove’s dancing buddy.
I had no idea Jason Biggs was in to politics.
pdiddycornchips: We need to have a talk about your daughter’s “boyfriend.”
itgetter: I like Abrams too. This is bittersweet news.
love rachel, but this show will be cancelled as soon as McCain is inaugurated.
end.
floraway: Do not worry. NBC knows this, and they will keep him in shackles until another opportunity arises. In fact that was similar to a quote from NBC’s parent company, G.E.:
“We will keep them in shackles until another opportunity arises.”
Hooray! This is the best programming decision since Colbert got his own show, imho.
I believe Ms. Maddow is a Rhodes Scholar & a Ph.D. in something or the other vs. Hannity who doesn’t even have a Bachelor’s degree & makes a jillion dollars peddling hate. I do enjoy the fact that she bases her arguments on facts; Buchanan and Gregory (whose show s-u-u-u-ucks) must despise her.
johnbpt:
Word. She won’t listen to me anymore about anything. She won’t even consider a nice local state college. All set on one of those greasy Ivy League places. I tell her Columbia ain’t no place for fine black woman. I spent the better part of my life escaping from places like the heights. She’s got a mind of her own though. Too bad she’s too old to beat.
itgetter: Not that I have stalked Dan or anything but he will only date Jewish women. Try to snap some naked pic for me.
NoWireHangers: …sorry about that! I will have a drink or 6 just for you!
This is good/bad news. Rache will no doubt do a good show, but Verdict was tight and well-produced and it was getting better and better ratings. MSNBC seems to want Olbermann numbers on every show, forgetting how long it to Keefers to build that audience.
Juan’s McCampaign is not gonna like this. Watch for another angry letter.
Hooray for Rachel!!!!
Enough!!! I claim Rachel as the sole proprietary pretend girlfriend. Lord knows I need one.
of COURSE the NY Times runs a photo of Rachel as Angry Young Woman, alongside a preppy little snapshot of poor Dan Abrams looking as adorable as a young ferret pup….
“Mr. Abrams, who is well liked at MSNBC, is expected to remain at both that network and at NBC News, where he is the chief legal correspondent. He will also serve as an anchor during some of MSNBC’s daytime coverage, as well as a substitute host on NBC’s ‘Today’ show, Mr. Griffin said.”
I agree with Pat Buchanan: Dan Abrams needs a boyfriend. How about JFK, Jr.?
Rachel Maddow looks like me when I was 24 and that bothers me a little. Does this mean that she has masculine features or do I have feminine features? Or am I actually a lesbian stuck in a man’s body?
Now that I think about it I’m okay with that scenario because she’s pretty damned smart and the man’s body she’s stuck in is h-o-t (except the part with boobs).
Cool. MSNBC is putting on a full-court press as we head into November. Too bad Rache and KO are preaching to the choir.
Boobs on tubes? What next? Exxon to mark the spot.
She’s mine, Bitches.
How ya like me now scarborough!
I will only watch this is they give her blonde hair extentions, blue contacts, botox injections and collagen to enlarge her lil lips. I will also only watch this if she gets breast implants and red acrylic nails. I would also like the set to be pink with puffy seating.
I hope Rachel takes on Hannity and Whoever the way Olbie took on the King of the falafel. I hope Rachel haunts Hannity’s dreams.
itgetter: I like Verdict too. They could always move it to 10-11p hour against the Gretta “Tragic Blond Chick” show. I would hate to give me repeat of Keith at a good hour on the West Coast up, but, heck, half the time I catch the 11p PDT repeat anyway.
Rachel Maddow, back in the day, would have been referred to as a “handsome woman.” Like in a Kate Chopin novel or something.
Not that that’s a bad thing. Rachel Maddow makes me tingly in my girl parts.
Scarab: Oh hey, the “lesbians are men” joke! Hilarious AND original!
Oh please, please, please, let Pat be a regular guest. What the TeeVee needs is a daily “Pat gets spanked” segment.
She’s MY pretend girlfriend not yours!! Not sure why they are replacing Dan Abrams, I’d rather see MSNBC replace David Gregory. And yes she’s definitely a handsome woman!
Grannykat: I completely agree. David Gregory’s show sounds great in theory, but he just sucks all of the interesting out of the room. I liked him much better as a pain in the ass White House reporter.
Wilford Brimley should have a show on MSNBC. That is all.
SuperRounder: God I hope this happens, preferably after Barry wins in a landslide and Joe starts snivelling about how this is actually excellent news for Republicans. Mika can just reach over, grab him by the hair and SLAM. Lori Klausutis that ho.
Of course Gawker tells me they’re fucking, so… ???
shortsshortsshorts: [insert appropriate diabeetus joke]
You know who should have his own show? Chuck MF-ing Todd.
Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star: The hair makes her look like a really pretty dude. She’s like Johnny Depp of ladies.
I loves me some Rachel! Expect some intelligent political discourse and not the same old crap everyone else is doing! Yay!
AxmxZ: I want to cut my hair that short… but I would probably look like an Asian boy. A hot Asian boy, but that’s not really the kind of attention I want to attract. Ha ha.
I think she’s good looking and reminds me of my sorta butch lesbian friend in
college who would not “jump the fence” and have sex with me. I actually wish she
would grow her hair longer and be more feminine.
/ducks.
itgetter: good call on Chuckie. I would love to see him kick that ass Gregory out. DG is a turd.
itgetter: I agree that David Gregory’s show is weaker than Dan Abrams’ show. But mostly I’m just happy to see Rachel movin’ on up. That girl is wicked smart and I look forward to her chopping the RWers into little tiny pieces. Show starts on 8 September according to the announcement she’s making on Olbermann right now!!
sweetits: Here’s the thing with Chuck Todd. He doesn’t allow himself to get swept up the media bubble. Every single time he goes on the teevee the talking heads are all, “Don’t you think Obama is so far behind where he should be? I mean, FIVE POINTS?! It’s terrible!!!”
And Chuck is always like, “Well, five points would be an insane landslide in a presidential election. And it’s still August. And you’re all fucking crazy to be looking at the daily tracking polls. Now let me go groom my goatee, bitches.”
Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star:
She makes my male bits tingle in delight too. Smart, sexxy, short hair, nice smile, deep dark eyes, cute laugh, what a forbidden fruit, then switch to Pat Buchanan….agggkk!
Too bad!…I know I caint git nun uh that sweet Maddow…But if given the chance…I make you go through changes girl.
Good for her. Rachel’s show was my favorite when we had Air America here in Austin. I’m not surprised she got her own show. She did such a great job sitting in for Olberman and that probably brought in the offer from MSNBC.
Rodney Badger: I hope your right about Brad Blakeman. What a whiny wuss.
Hey listen people I’ve known Rachel longer than any of you so back off–me and her have a REAL relationship! I mean we’re both gay and we’re both Rhodes scholars–well she is but I HAVE been to England and anyway I’ve ONLY listened to every minute of every one of her 47 shows she’s had on Air america AND I actually got a question on her Ask Dr maddow segment that she answered (sort of) and she said I sounded cute so I took that to mean that I should quit my job and devote my life to her but now I’m running out of money so THANK god she got the TV gig so now she can give me some money. Oh does anybody here have her cell number?
What a cute picture of Rachel. I’d do him.
And also, I’m sick to fucking death of watching Olberman act out his Oedipus complex on TV. Jesus what a queen.
Makeithurt: A thousand times yes.
She looks like Hannity’s younger, cuter brother.
She kind of looks like Peyton Manning in that pic.
sanantonerose: I thought she looked like Michael Cera’s older brother.
Well, you know what they say: every girl is just three lesbians away from becoming a drink.
She’s a giril! With feewings!
LEAVE RACHEL ALONE ALL OF YOU!
loquaciousmusic: I am stealing that from you, and I’m not giving it back.
Congrats to Rachel but I have watched enough American cable on my Korean free television machine to know that an educated woman who uses facts and wears clothes has no future in the media.
AngryBlakGuy, you around? This fucking storm is driving me fucking insane. I seriously wanna kill someone. HRC is in Palm Beach tomorrow, if Michael Phelps were here to carry me on his fucking back to the event, I could make fun of her… Anyone else under fucking 13 inches of water?
CanadianBacon: Yup, she does fine on subsidized radio, but I don’t know about cable. Maybe libtards and the Lez rally around her. Is that enuf? I’d be disappointed if she does a circus show like the rest…btw, I do like her.
I fell in love with your voice and your message at the same time, just perfection.
Then I read that you’re gay. Well, 2 out of 3’s not bad.
Anytime you decide to jump ship, know that there’s a guy
waiting to welcome you to the light side.
One who can breathe through his ears.
Jerry w
http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com
Delicious: Ooooo. Yes! YES. You’re totally right. She’s one of the younger, cuter Manning brothers.
But, you know, good for her on hanging with the boys.
yes, again, um…
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/20/opinion/20dowd.html?hp
greensprout:
Oh hey, the “lesbians are men” joke! Hilarious AND original!
Actually I didn’t know she a lesbian when I posted. Maybe if I did, I could have included some snarkiness about how they don’t have a sense of humor… you know, like you did.
In the future I’ll be sure only make fun of straight people or get your approval first, because really that’s what Wonkette is all about, propriety.
Whatevoh. It has to be better than M0D0.
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/20/opinion/20dowd.html?_r=1&oref=slogin
thwanger: Now that Hopey’s ascent is looking somewhat less assured than it did a couple of months before, Dowd is starting to get all protective and panicky.
Go Unfiltered! Is she bringing along Liz Winsted and Chuck D too?
So if my pretend girlfriend looks like Jason Biggs; then well, wait. I gotta call my mom. The prayers musta finally worked. Fuck it. She’s still my pretend girlfriend. And now she’s gonna be on my teevee even more. YAY!
If Rachel Maddow was a chick, I’d marry her!
I want to see more of Rachel & Anna Marie Cox together …… there’s definitely some deep chemistry there.
Rachel puts on an awesome show & other commentators like Chris Mathews could learn a lot from her on how to talk to guests & not continually talk over them. What is it with that guy? He apparently has no concept of “time delay” with his guests who are on a satellite feed.
Anna Marie Cox (Wonkette) is stunning ……. Hopefully Playboy is still stalking her to do a feature???
How come AMC didn’t get a host spot while rachel was out on vacation recently? She would’ve been so much better than that boring Huffington woman who has zero personality & could hardly put a full sentence together & sounded like a frickin’ robot.