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BE OUR D.C. INTERN: There is one (1) internship open for a Washington D.C. student who will write a quick daily thing, on weekdays, and have the personality to go cover some stuff in town sometimes, like indie rock shows and ice cream socials and gallery openings and K Street job fairs and inaugurations and other foul LNS debacles.

No resumes, no attachments, no bullshit. Send a very terse e-mail with the subject line SECRET INTERN APPLICATION ROBOT with maybe a fake Wonkette post about, oh, maybe a Ron Paul rally or a Congressional BBQ or a bullet-point list of fun bar things to do, this weekend, in D.C.

About the author


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • shortsshortsshorts

    Washington and San Frangayco are sister cities. I hope this means anything to you liberal hating liberals.

  • defeatism

    By student, you mean “can blog from the Pentagon”, right?

  • font9a

    Do we get a cartoon upskirt shot. Just for quality assurances, of course.

  • DizzyLizzy

    wow that lizz girl sounds really effing awesome, i think you should pick her.

    too soon?

  • Vanity Smurf

    [re=59309]DizzyLizzy[/re]: I smell trollop.

  • RaptorAvatar

    This is what I wish craigslist job ads looked like.

  • Sabre_Justice

    Rule 34 on the Wonkette chick, stat!

  • Skewgee

    I forgot how to be ironic and sincere at the same time. you forgot to mention that congressionla page experience would be a plus, although clearly not necessary. needless to say, mental health should be a benefit

  • Anita Cocktail

    Oh, you are diabolical. You are going to send this poor kid to cover the Ron Paultard spectacle AND the boring Ralph Nader “events,” aren’t you?

  • Larry McAwful

    Interns get to have affairs, right? If so, do we get to choose whom we have the affairs with? If so, I want to have my affairs with Gabrielle Giffords or Amy Klobuchar, and maybe with Darcy Burner, provided she gets elected.

    If we don’t get to choose, though, I’m not interested.

  • Godless Liberal *

    I don’t live in the District of Columbia, I live in the city of Columbia. And if that isn’t close enough for you guys, then fuck you all.

    Although now that I think of it, I’m not a student anyway so I wouldn’t be eligible. But still, it’s the principle of the thing.

  • Mahousu

    [re=59320]Sabre_Justice[/re]: Wonkette itself is already an expression of Rule 34. And you can’t Rule 34 on Rule 34.

  • Godless Liberal *

    [re=59343]Mahousu[/re]: You can too, I saw it on a German fetish site last week.

    It was glorious.

  • 4tehlulz

    [re=59343]Mahousu[/re]: 4chan does this on hourly basis.

  • Terry

    If you don’t get an intern, consider sending some of your crochety long term commenters to the parties. Woo hooo! I’ll go! Eat shrimp, drink free liquor, and make sassy comments as I take folks’ pictures.

  • slavojzizek

    [re=59337]Larry McAwful[/re]: I’m pretty sure if you’re a dude, you have to pick a Republican. One of those clammy, ‘religious’ guys from the south. Not a fun part of the job.

  • WadISay

    Is there a “job description” for this position? Gad, that would be a howl.

  • Naked Bunny with a Whip

    Is it okay if I commute in from Des Moines? I have a car.

  • Guppy06

    [re=59343]Mahousu[/re]: Like Hell you can’t! Those who say such things lack imagination!

  • whiteasasheet

    How much does it pay?


  • Godot

    [re=59343]Mahousu[/re]: You mean you haven’t seen the picture of the guy shocked to see Calvin & Hobbes porn on the internet getting fucked up the ass by his computer?

  • jagorev

    Can I be your New York/tri-state area correspondent? Every media organization needs to have one! Also, this area has, I believe, 75% of the US population and 80% of the economy.

  • graceless

    [re=59456]jagorev[/re]: You a fan of NY1? “The world beyond NY” one story, and it’s BACK TO NY! I love that station.

  • Serolf Divad

    Is that Sara K. Smith before she let her hair grow out?

  • jagorev

    [re=59481]graceless[/re]: Well, to be fair, there really isn’t that much of “the world beyond NY” –

  • Mahousu

    [re=59448]Godot[/re]: That’s pretty hard to parse. Not that it really matters, I suppose.
    In my case, I was shocked to see some woman’s ankles on the Internets the other day. This medium is clearly going to pot.

  • Hart88

    You had me right up until you mentioned LNS

  • Hello Sunshine

    What happened to Ms Wonkette’s cat? It used to be right there, next to typewriter.

  • tunamelt

    [re=59350]Terry[/re]: Commenter Citizen Grassroots Journalismism.

  • sezme

    Is this a secret plan to get a huge stockpile of fake stories about Ron Paul events and congressional barbecues that will at some future point be posted as actual news? Well is it?

  • grendel

    [re=59325]Skewgee[/re]: By Page experience you mean “must supply own knee pads” right?

  • insert_namehere

    I see no mention of coverage regarding cuddle parties.

    No wonder journalistic standards are in the toilet.

  • huertanix

    [re=59348]4tehlulz[/re]: rules one and two!

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    So you basically need someone that can give and do a lot of blow? Have you talked to Jeff Gannon? It would be a big step up for him, but I think he is your man.

  • BenG

    Hold the position for the Edwards love child. Maybe still a toddler, but still a snarky blowhole.

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    Can I work in my underwear?

  • congressman hammer

    [re=59337]Larry McAwful[/re]: You have an affair with the congressman you’re assigned, not the congresswoman you want.

    On that note, what ever happened to Don Rummy? Paraguay?