BE OUR D.C. INTERN: There is one (1) internship open for a Washington D.C. student who will write a quick daily thing, on weekdays, and have the personality to go cover some stuff in town sometimes, like indie rock shows and ice cream socials and gallery openings and K Street job fairs and inaugurations and other foul LNS debacles.

No resumes, no attachments, no bullshit. Send a very terse e-mail with the subject line SECRET INTERN APPLICATION ROBOT with maybe a fake Wonkette post about, oh, maybe a Ron Paul rally or a Congressional BBQ or a bullet-point list of fun bar things to do, this weekend, in D.C.

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  1. I forgot how to be ironic and sincere at the same time. you forgot to mention that congressionla page experience would be a plus, although clearly not necessary. needless to say, mental health should be a benefit

  2. Oh, you are diabolical. You are going to send this poor kid to cover the Ron Paultard spectacle AND the boring Ralph Nader “events,” aren’t you?

  3. Interns get to have affairs, right? If so, do we get to choose whom we have the affairs with? If so, I want to have my affairs with Gabrielle Giffords or Amy Klobuchar, and maybe with Darcy Burner, provided she gets elected.

    If we don’t get to choose, though, I’m not interested.

  4. I don’t live in the District of Columbia, I live in the city of Columbia. And if that isn’t close enough for you guys, then fuck you all.

    Although now that I think of it, I’m not a student anyway so I wouldn’t be eligible. But still, it’s the principle of the thing.

  5. If you don’t get an intern, consider sending some of your crochety long term commenters to the parties. Woo hooo! I’ll go! Eat shrimp, drink free liquor, and make sassy comments as I take folks’ pictures.

  6. [re=59337]Larry McAwful[/re]: I’m pretty sure if you’re a dude, you have to pick a Republican. One of those clammy, ‘religious’ guys from the south. Not a fun part of the job.

  7. [re=59343]Mahousu[/re]: You mean you haven’t seen the picture of the guy shocked to see Calvin & Hobbes porn on the internet getting fucked up the ass by his computer?

  8. Can I be your New York/tri-state area correspondent? Every media organization needs to have one! Also, this area has, I believe, 75% of the US population and 80% of the economy.

  9. [re=59448]Godot[/re]: That’s pretty hard to parse. Not that it really matters, I suppose.
    In my case, I was shocked to see some woman’s ankles on the Internets the other day. This medium is clearly going to pot.

  10. Is this a secret plan to get a huge stockpile of fake stories about Ron Paul events and congressional barbecues that will at some future point be posted as actual news? Well is it?

  11. So you basically need someone that can give and do a lot of blow? Have you talked to Jeff Gannon? It would be a big step up for him, but I think he is your man.

  12. [re=59337]Larry McAwful[/re]: You have an affair with the congressman you’re assigned, not the congresswoman you want.

    On that note, what ever happened to Don Rummy? Paraguay?

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