VARIOUS POSITIONS  1:42 am August 14, 2008

by admin

BE OUR D.C. INTERN: There is one (1) internship open for a Washington D.C. student who will write a quick daily thing, on weekdays, and have the personality to go cover some stuff in town sometimes, like indie rock shows and ice cream socials and gallery openings and K Street job fairs and inaugurations and other foul LNS debacles.

No resumes, no attachments, no bullshit. Send a very terse e-mail with the subject line SECRET INTERN APPLICATION ROBOT with maybe a fake Wonkette post about, oh, maybe a Ron Paul rally or a Congressional BBQ or a bullet-point list of fun bar things to do, this weekend, in D.C.

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Hola wonkerados.

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shortsshortsshorts August 14, 2008 at 2:02 am

Washington and San Frangayco are sister cities. I hope this means anything to you liberal hating liberals.

defeatism August 14, 2008 at 2:06 am

By student, you mean “can blog from the Pentagon”, right?

font9a August 14, 2008 at 2:08 am

Do we get a cartoon upskirt shot. Just for quality assurances, of course.

DizzyLizzy August 14, 2008 at 2:24 am

wow that lizz girl sounds really effing awesome, i think you should pick her.

too soon?

Vanity Smurf August 14, 2008 at 3:36 am

[re=59309]DizzyLizzy[/re]: I smell trollop.

RaptorAvatar August 14, 2008 at 3:38 am

This is what I wish craigslist job ads looked like.

Sabre_Justice August 14, 2008 at 3:40 am

Rule 34 on the Wonkette chick, stat!

Skewgee August 14, 2008 at 4:40 am

I forgot how to be ironic and sincere at the same time. you forgot to mention that congressionla page experience would be a plus, although clearly not necessary. needless to say, mental health should be a benefit

Anita Cocktail August 14, 2008 at 7:54 am

Oh, you are diabolical. You are going to send this poor kid to cover the Ron Paultard spectacle AND the boring Ralph Nader “events,” aren’t you?

Larry McAwful August 14, 2008 at 8:04 am

Interns get to have affairs, right? If so, do we get to choose whom we have the affairs with? If so, I want to have my affairs with Gabrielle Giffords or Amy Klobuchar, and maybe with Darcy Burner, provided she gets elected.

If we don’t get to choose, though, I’m not interested.

Godless Liberal * August 14, 2008 at 8:06 am

I don’t live in the District of Columbia, I live in the city of Columbia. And if that isn’t close enough for you guys, then fuck you all.

Although now that I think of it, I’m not a student anyway so I wouldn’t be eligible. But still, it’s the principle of the thing.

Mahousu August 14, 2008 at 8:28 am

[re=59320]Sabre_Justice[/re]: Wonkette itself is already an expression of Rule 34. And you can’t Rule 34 on Rule 34.

Godless Liberal * August 14, 2008 at 8:33 am

[re=59343]Mahousu[/re]: You can too, I saw it on a German fetish site last week.

It was glorious.

4tehlulz August 14, 2008 at 8:41 am

[re=59343]Mahousu[/re]: 4chan does this on hourly basis.

Terry August 14, 2008 at 8:45 am

If you don’t get an intern, consider sending some of your crochety long term commenters to the parties. Woo hooo! I’ll go! Eat shrimp, drink free liquor, and make sassy comments as I take folks’ pictures.

slavojzizek August 14, 2008 at 9:00 am

[re=59337]Larry McAwful[/re]: I’m pretty sure if you’re a dude, you have to pick a Republican. One of those clammy, ‘religious’ guys from the south. Not a fun part of the job.

WadISay August 14, 2008 at 9:31 am

Is there a “job description” for this position? Gad, that would be a howl.

Naked Bunny with a Whip August 14, 2008 at 9:49 am

Is it okay if I commute in from Des Moines? I have a car.

Guppy06 August 14, 2008 at 10:11 am

[re=59343]Mahousu[/re]: Like Hell you can’t! Those who say such things lack imagination!

whiteasasheet August 14, 2008 at 10:30 am

How much does it pay?


Godot August 14, 2008 at 10:35 am

[re=59343]Mahousu[/re]: You mean you haven’t seen the picture of the guy shocked to see Calvin & Hobbes porn on the internet getting fucked up the ass by his computer?

jagorev August 14, 2008 at 10:44 am

Can I be your New York/tri-state area correspondent? Every media organization needs to have one! Also, this area has, I believe, 75% of the US population and 80% of the economy.

graceless August 14, 2008 at 10:58 am

[re=59456]jagorev[/re]: You a fan of NY1? “The world beyond NY” one story, and it’s BACK TO NY! I love that station.

Serolf Divad August 14, 2008 at 11:03 am

Is that Sara K. Smith before she let her hair grow out?

jagorev August 14, 2008 at 11:07 am

[re=59481]graceless[/re]: Well, to be fair, there really isn’t that much of “the world beyond NY” -

Mahousu August 14, 2008 at 11:16 am

[re=59448]Godot[/re]: That’s pretty hard to parse. Not that it really matters, I suppose.
In my case, I was shocked to see some woman’s ankles on the Internets the other day. This medium is clearly going to pot.

Hart88 August 14, 2008 at 11:20 am

You had me right up until you mentioned LNS

Hello Sunshine August 14, 2008 at 11:41 am

What happened to Ms Wonkette’s cat? It used to be right there, next to typewriter.

tunamelt August 14, 2008 at 11:50 am

[re=59350]Terry[/re]: Commenter Citizen Grassroots Journalismism.

sezme August 14, 2008 at 11:51 am

Is this a secret plan to get a huge stockpile of fake stories about Ron Paul events and congressional barbecues that will at some future point be posted as actual news? Well is it?

grendel August 14, 2008 at 11:52 am

[re=59325]Skewgee[/re]: By Page experience you mean “must supply own knee pads” right?

insert_namehere August 14, 2008 at 12:13 pm

I see no mention of coverage regarding cuddle parties.

No wonder journalistic standards are in the toilet.

huertanix August 14, 2008 at 12:29 pm

[re=59348]4tehlulz[/re]: rules one and two!

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 14, 2008 at 12:32 pm

So you basically need someone that can give and do a lot of blow? Have you talked to Jeff Gannon? It would be a big step up for him, but I think he is your man.

BenG August 14, 2008 at 1:02 pm

Hold the position for the Edwards love child. Maybe still a toddler, but still a snarky blowhole.

Monsieur Grumpe August 14, 2008 at 1:26 pm

Can I work in my underwear?

congressman hammer August 14, 2008 at 3:03 pm

[re=59337]Larry McAwful[/re]: You have an affair with the congressman you’re assigned, not the congresswoman you want.

On that note, what ever happened to Don Rummy? Paraguay?

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