Wonkette
Here’s John McCain’s latest idiot web ad attacking Barack Obama for being awesome and pretty much the most likable guy on earth. The only reason McCain is issuing this ad, of course, is so liberal bloggers can complain about the racial overtones inherent in white girls talking about getting “weak in the knees” over Obama. Then this theory will make it to all news networks; insecure white swing-voters will get sick of hearing about “Obama making this election about race” and decide to vote McCain based on inexplicable “character” issues. Oh, the liberal bloggers get blamed for everything. Ergo: this ad is Not Racist, but it is, what’s the word, completely retarded and not truthful. And not funny. [YouTube]
Thank god we’re sticking to issues this election season!
What the hell is wrong with this campaign? Is this line of attack working? It must be, right? Why else would it still be happening?
…Obama should have a response AD where they walk around with a photo of WALNUTS! asking people if they can identify who this is!
If this campaign tactic works, I think I might kill myself.
…or maybe just simply walk around asking people if they know who John McCain is. I can see it now, a whole series of people saying “Who?” followed by a puzzled look.
“Lock up all the dumb, white women. The sheriff’s near!”
Girls don’t like McCain. Because he is All Man. That is why he must rape to get his rocks off. Like a gorilla. Also he enjoys it.
If he takes out the “not Ready to lead line” and the other line about not being experienced, Obama could just save some money and use this ad for himself. Obama is certainly dreamy. *swoon*
PS- John McCain hates Canuckistanian Mike Myers. It’s totally true.
“…you’ve seen him in Paris…” Uh oh, the Hiltons are going to be pissed again!
AngryBlakGuy: AngryBlakGuy: Response ad? This sort of buffoonery can only be answered in one way. It’s time to diss WALNUTS! on a DJ Kayslay (aka Slap Your Favorite DJ) mix tape.
AngryBlakGuy: Somebody wittier than me *please* brainstorm a list of possible responses to this prompt.
Lemme get this straight. The message is, “Argh…people like that guy and have an odd enthusiasm about him and his message…aargh…that must mean he’s not fit to lead and hates America…aargh!” Um. Okay. Is that the best you got? Is it me, or is this the most cynical campaign in history?
Ah, the classic “everybody loves him” attack. BRILLIANT. Unfortunately for McCain the Presidency is kind of a popularity contest.
The fact that some of these shitpieces are kind of effective makes me think that maybe this is the kind of president that we deserve. I think I need to vomit now.
Is it just me, or is there an avalanche of potential lawsuits from Dana Carvey, Mike Myers, and all the other Democrats placed in this ad?
Mmmmm…I could sure go for a 7 layer burrito about now…how’s that for subliminal advertising? Is McCain’s next ad going to go after the Mayor McCheese lobby?
Wait… isn’t McCain dreamy? Oh, right.
If that’s the weirdest Obama supporters the McCain team can find, we should be thankful the Hilltard Nobama lot are supporting McCain.
Yes, John, Barry is dreeeeemmyyyy. You are more like a nightmare where a proctologist that looks like your father puts things into you.
Don’t be bitter.
Karl Rove was on this weekend talking about how Obama’s advantage is “people who support him.” So, you make people feel sheepish for liking him, and maybe they won’t like him anymore. “I’m a non-conformist just like all my non-conformist friends”?
Between the Wayne’s World clip and the Austin Powers Music, I feel like I’m standing next to Mike Myers. That makes me want to say only one thing:
John McCain doesn’t care about young people.
Make. It. Stop.
[Montage of McCain's celebrity attack ads]
Voice over: John McCain doesn’t seem to know why Barack Obama is so popular. Here’s a hint: if you ran for president promising four more years of this
[Baghdad scene of two soldiers as a bomb goes off behind them]
and this
[Black family on roof with "Help! No Food" painted on sheet]
and this
[Foreclosed house; squalid VA hospital; Condi testifying before 9/11 commission; US helicopter being shot down; Dick Cheney hiding in shrubbery.]
You’d be thrilled about having a knowledgeable, competent leader too.
[still of McCain hugging Dubya]
John McCain — he didn’t get it then — he doesn’t get it now.
Barack Obama is PEOPLE!
…well, that worked much better for Soylent Green.
These repeated attempts to sneer off repressed man-love for Obama is just plain wierd. I’m John McCain and, ohgodohgodohgod, I approved this message.
“Obama: the majority of people would vote for him and are excited he’s running for president. Just who does this ‘majority’ think they are? This is a democracy! Oh, and he’s young, and taxes. MCCAIN!”
Them’s some stunning logicianery! And it’s so nice of them to use such a friendly, attractive photo of Obama in their anti-Obama ads!
Ooh. Anyone have some money and a video camera? I would love to see SayItWithWookies dream come true. Especially the shot with Cheney hiding in shrubbery. OOOOH even better could we get a clip of him cursing out that one dude?
0:09
Unlike dear old Cokie, McCain doesn’t believe Hawaii is a US state! And what about Russian America to the north?
I guess it’s to be expected from a Panamanian.
Seriously, I’m about to start a Rumsfeld-esque “Don’t forget Hawaii!” meme.
Isn’t this line of attack vulnerable to the response that actual people (Americans, even!) like/like-like Obama, whereas McCain’s support is mainly from the power establishment and business leaders? Not trying to make that point personally, but if I worked for the Hopey campaign I sure as hell would.
The production values are going downhill fast. Next up will be a 1 minute porno with Obama’s head pasted on some “actor”.
Storyboard: 45 seconds of thrusting. 5 seconds of cum shot (sorry fer the mental imagery). 5 seconds of tagline: “Barack Obama is long, hard, and black. But can he last more than a minute?” 5 seconds of cut to McCain: “I’m John McCain, and I can’t even get it up.”
I think we should replace all references towards Obama in this ad with Walnuts. It would then be the most snarky and effective negative ad there is.
McCain is like Bono to me and he has soft eyes…
I think for Barry’s people to truly know how to respond to this shit, they would have to return to the primordial ooze and just start over.
At least Obama isn’t forcing everyone to drink the Kool-Aid.
Is it me or does McCain’s entire ad team seem to consist of a bunch of 19-year old College Republican frat guys who think they’re the funniest thing in the world?
…this whole line of attack just makes him look like a “HATER”(pardon my blakness). If anything it only only emphasizes how shitty a candidate he is. I halfway expected him to say “I’m John McCain and I have penis envy” at the end of that AD.
pickleandcake: “nice of them to use such a friendly, attractive photo of Obama” Apparently, they’re unaware of the fist-about-to-smash-McCain’s-face pic in the previous post.
Don’t fuck with Taco Bell. Believe me I know. You can’t win.
White Nick: He’s aiming for the “silent majority” constituency. You know, the one that got him stuck in Hanoi.
SayItWithWookies: That’s the truth. That would would be great. How I’d love to see Hopey go on the offensive a little more.
sezme: Or maybe just some cuckold, interracial sex while some old white man sits in the corner crying.
Is that the music and voice from Soap?
StupidGeek: I’d like to download that video now. Please. Thank you.
SayItWithWookies: The DNC should probably offer you a salary for that one Wookies. I haven’t seen anything that creative coming out of Howard Dean’s shop.
So they make an ad you can’t refute by leaving out any kind of point?
He’s popular… therefor bad.
Should Gore and Kerry have run ads pointing out that people want to have a beer with Bush?
The Incomparable Tiny Valdez: Hooray For Anything: They are’nt even taking the nation seriously. Like armaggedon on all fronts is some kinda joke.
Was this fucking thing made in Powerpoint? I mean, the explosion bubbles, the amateur-hour gradient background, the bush-league spinning effects, I swear some McCain staffer was just like “Yeah, my son’s 17, he’s good with computers and stuff, I’ve seen him make some neat stuff in Photoshop, I’ll see if he can whip a quick video together together”.
Throw some youtube clips together, add some awful editing, maybe a wacky pop culture reference (to a hip and current movie that came out, what, 16 years ago?) and you’ve got what I can honestly call the worst campaign video ever. If I was one of the insiders buying $2,000-a-plate to help McCain’s campaign, I’d be shitting bricks when I saw that my money was going towards this absolute monstrosity of a video.
Garble: I think you’re on to something…
You seen him at pawn shops, bikini contests, and radio shack now you can share a beer with the old man next door, John McCain. He may not get your jokes and depending on what color you are, you might not be welcome at his country club. But once you get him ginned up, watch out (said with smile).
Cue footage of horrible car wreck.
I know the girl who says the thing about the “aura”. They must’ve clipped that from the local news or something, I guess?
People–and by people, I mean Hillary Clinton and John McCain–tend to forget that Obama cut his teeth on Chicago ward politics. He’s a shrewd politician, not last year’s American Idol winner. In December, McCain can commiserate with Hillary about how unfair it is that racist and mean-spirited attacks didn’t turn people against him.
This whole “heh, this other dude is such a loserrrr, let’s make a video where we make him say stuff and add some funny music and a bunch of his fans saying funny things, we’re so clever” schtick makes you reminisce for those good ol’ days of attack ads.Y’know, those foregone gems from the past, where black-and-white shots of the opponent looking angry would be superimposed with a booming voiceover making wild slanderous accusations over dramatic orchestral music.
Come on McCain, if you’re gonna attack a guy, grow some walnuts and attack him. Don’t do this weird shit where you give the other guy tongue-in-cheek compliments by talking about how awesome he is.
Please replace the word “celebrity” with “frog,” because the attack has essentially the same relevance.
And yes. It must be said.
“I AM JOHN MCCAIN I TURN YOU INTO FROG WITH FINGER!!!!1!”
ChatteringClass: They’re certainly welcome to it for free. I ain’t no genius, but damn, it doesn’t seem like bashing McCain for real awfulness would be too hard.
shortsshortsshorts: Obama is a damn Frenchie!
slavojzizek: Yeah? Well I look forward to seeing some more of the Chicago ward politician in Obama. Mind you, it is kind of funny that McCain is throwing this crap at him while he’s just sunning himself in Hawaii . . .
mattbolt: Oh no, I prefer these camp bitch-slapping McCain ads. My, how we laughed! I just hope McCain’s deadly webz crew bring Mike Flowers into it at some stage.
SayItWithWookies: I don’t know, what do you think? Dems will take it and run, or take it in the ass and then run for cover?
God, I wish I owned a Mac now. The stuff I could whip together. Mostly porn, actually. But it’d be more fun than my current day job.
AngryBlakGuy: BTW, I think “I’m John McCain, and I have penis envy” is a tagline that MUST BE BROUGHT TO THE MASSES.
The next episode says, “Don’t vote for Black Gold,” when you can get White Trash, and uses a montage of McCains in Sturgis.
AnnieGetYourFun: I’m hoping they’ll run with it, but that right now they’re just trying to keep it interesting. I also hope that Lucy holds the football and Charlie Brown goes running up and kicks it. Sigh.
A slightly contextually-homo song tribute to Barry:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lUj9zWwop8
AnnieGetYourFun: …LMAO! Thanks I didnt realize the typo. It is suppose to say “Im John McCain and I have a SMALL penis”. All better?!
WadISay: Heh. I was thinking “I’m John McCain, and Hopey makes me harder than a Vietnamese bayonette.”
AngryBlakGuy: As a proud MCCAIN 08 supporter, I am disgusted at your RACIST assumption that white people have tiny penises. I have a perfectly adequate average-sized penis myself.
Stop hating on pencil-dick whites like John McCain; it’s not fair. Be fair, like MCCAIN 08!
MCCAIN 08! USA!! USA!!!
I give up. I’m gonna drink until November. Shake me up and drag my sorry ass to the polling booth.
itgetter: Call it “Anti-Christ fright-lite.”
It’s a lighter version than its predecessor, “The One,” designed to re-unify the 62 million self-professing evangelicals of America that Obama is the AntiChrist, or at least a symbol of the End Times when many false prophets appear.
Does McPrunes have covert Democrat strategists working for his campaign? cuz this video made me wet for the Barry.
McCain’s first “celebrity” ad got him mocked and ridiculed, so he tried to play it off like it was “a joke all along, guyz!” Now he’s actually *trying* to be funny, which is so much worse! This ad is the comedy equivalent of saying “got your nose!” to a little baby while holding your thumb between your fingers: Grandpa humor, it’s the bottom of the barrel!
Jeezus christ on the governor of Florida, my 6 and 4 year old kids could create a mash up that makes twice as much sense for 1/10th the cost. Who the fuck got their hands on a copy of shareware movie software? This looks like something the Paultards would do, except 1 million percent lamer.
I have to believe that someone in the Obama campaign, instead of helping Hillary pay off her debt (to, ahem, Hillary) is bankrolling this shit. Up next–video of McNutter in a tank.
Darehead: Another reason McCain wants to show that Barry is the Anti-Christ is because another group of evangelicals are being more and more convinced that McCain is the anti-Christ, based on McCain’s support of 100-year war, and the fact that his great-grandfather was named John Mihai and ‘Mihai’ is supposedly Romanian.
http://www.commondreams.org/archive/2008/08/08/10885/
If either one of them are the anti-Christ, does this mean the world will end before “Lost” does? Because if so, I’m going to be pissed.
Darehead: Exactly which Bible are all these wacky “Biblical scholars” reading? The Book of Revelation says nothing about signs for identifying the antichrist, and never even uses the word “antichrist”.
No matter - I bet half the people that buy into these phony predictions haven’t read the thing either, so why not spice it up a bit? Yeah, I swear, Rev 9:14, it says that the antichrist will be a basketball-playing secret-muslim. In those exact words. Go on, look it up. I know no one will.
Hooray For Anything: It means we all have to make that one, fateful decision, of whether to follow Locke or Jack.
mattbolt: Fat-pocketed bible prophets who proselytize about the false prophets get their phony prognostications from fellow profiteers.
Anyone who is perturbed by the white girls + Barry scenario (yawn) would never vote for him anyway.
Many thanks to the McCain guys for reminding us that Obama is well-loved (even by WHITE people)!
I think this is actually not a bad strategy. If you’re a little older and on the fence (i.e. a voter) you might attribute your excitement about obama to some silly fad. Like that time you went to Dave and Busters and you thought the waitress was flirting with you but you just had food on your face. I think maybe you bloggy bloggies are getting a little myopic here and forgetting other people aren’t all like you. Like clever and knowing about videos and stuff.
SayItWithWookies: Wooks: FILM that puppy, and get the video down to the studio. We’re broadcasting in 3 . . .2. . . .1 . . . .
Oh, are video clips of a candidate’s dumbest supporters ‘fair game’ for campaign ads now? ‘Cause down here in the South, we got some real doozies.
You can always borrow anti-McCain vids from the conservatives who hate ‘em — here’s a good one:
ttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ioy90nF2anI
Okay - I’m admittedly a little late to the fray here, but shouldn’t WALNUTS be making ads about himself? I’m starting to think that WALNUTS is gay for Hopey!
I don’t understand the angle on these ads. Their goal is to, what? Make people ashamed of liking Obama? And then self-flagellate by voting for McCain? Sweet. “McCain: Just Like A Hair Shirt, Only Older and Talks and Stuff.”
Thanatopsis: Word. These aren’t attack ads–they’re love notes!
We put up audio from the spot: http://entertonement.com/clips?keywords=fan+club
Ok… so you can’t be President if girls think you’re dreamy and handsome? Is there a rule somewhere that says only ugly wrinkled old dudes can hold that office?
I have to give to McCain’s people; they can’t even make an attack ad with ACTUAL attacks. McCain is already a huge douchebag for using Paris Hilton when her parents gave him dough. Now they’re just using clips of people saying how much they love Obama. Man, that’s sad.