1:05 am August 8, 2008

by Jim Newell

UTTER FAILURE: Hilarious antisemitic Democratic primary challenger Nikki Tinker has completed her bid to take this fall’s nomination from incumbent Tennessee Rep. Steve Cohen, and the results are in, and, well… she lost, 79% to 19%. So to recap, Nikki Tinker’s campaign which has both linked Steve Cohen to the KKK and called him a filthy Jew has brought her the following things: (1) a national reputation as a wretched bigot and (2) a 60 percentage point loss in an election. Could’ve worked in a general election, Nikki, but alas, this was a Democratic primary. Oh, look at the hour! [AP]

 
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{ 43 comments }

AngryBlakGuy August 8, 2008 at 1:09 am

…geez H., as a partially inebriated blakk man I apologize!

Neilist August 8, 2008 at 1:11 am

I guess that’s NOT Anti-Semitism we can believe in?

But then, the Coloreds all hate the Jews.

Wait until President Hopey “accidently” goes to DefCon 1 and bombs Tel Avi.

Neilist August 8, 2008 at 1:14 am

I just realized the whole story was a bullshit — albeit brilliant — campaign ploy by Cohen.

I mean, come on.

Tinker was described as a “black corporate lawyer.”

Everyone knows “they’re” all Public Defenders.

Or at best, a Deputy District Attorney holding Marcia Clark’s purse while Johnny Cochrane beats the shit out of her.

Darehead August 8, 2008 at 1:18 am

This is kkkonfusing.

Jewdishoowary Square August 8, 2008 at 1:18 am

[re=54727]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: How about you guys forgive us for Paul Wolfowitz and we just call it square?

The Incomparable Tiny Valdez August 8, 2008 at 1:19 am

The name Nikki Tinker sends me into paroxysms of hilarity. I’ve admittedly had a few cocktails, but still.

Jim Newell August 8, 2008 at 1:19 am

[re=54733]Jewdishoowary Square[/re]: Only Paul Wolfowitz?

The Incomparable Tiny Valdez August 8, 2008 at 1:21 am

It sounds like something your spinster aunt would have called your pee-pee when you were four years old.

Jewdishoowary Square August 8, 2008 at 1:28 am

[re=54735]Jim Newell[/re]: That’s not enough? Okay, throw Henry Kissinger, too.

Jewdishoowary Square August 8, 2008 at 1:31 am

[re=54737]Jewdishoowary Square[/re]: …Er, “throw in”. “Throw in Henry Kissinger” is what I meant.

NotUrEvryDayWEzl August 8, 2008 at 1:34 am

[re=54737]Jewdishoowary Square[/re]: For [re=54727]AngryBlakGuy[/re] alone?! Wow, you’re being generous.

Jewdishoowary Square August 8, 2008 at 1:39 am

[re=54740]NotUrEvryDayWEzl[/re]: I meant for Nikki Tinker.

NotUrEvryDayWEzl August 8, 2008 at 1:43 am

[re=54741]Jewdishoowary Square[/re]: OH. SO much more sense now! I still think you’re being generous. Nikki Tinker is just amusing. Paul & Henry actually fucked shit up.

Jewdishoowary Square August 8, 2008 at 1:51 am

[re=54742]NotUrEvryDayWEzl[/re]: Oy, such a deal I’m giving you!

graceless August 8, 2008 at 2:07 am

It’s politics, no need for it to makes sense.

themightysea August 8, 2008 at 4:40 am

Is anyone else really depressed that Stikki Finger got 19% of the vote? Who are these fans of the stinkki bigot, and should we organize a posse to kick them in the truck nutz? Luckily we don’t have proportional representation.

lilblackcorvette August 8, 2008 at 6:15 am

[re=54759]themightysea[/re]: Her family has to vote for her. It’s “tradition”.

WonkaBee August 8, 2008 at 6:18 am

[re=54737]Jewdishoowary Square[/re]: sedd: “Okay, throw Henry Kissinger, too.”

Contest? Sign me up!

Maybe we could make it an Olympic Event for 2012. Provided Henry is still available for the throw.

lilblackcorvette August 8, 2008 at 6:40 am

and apparently the Armeninian branch of the ELVIS LIVES! fan club is based in that district.

lilblackcorvette August 8, 2008 at 6:41 am

[re=54727]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: YOu do realize you are not responsible for the behavior of all Balck people, right?

lilblackcorvette August 8, 2008 at 6:43 am

OR Black people either…… or Bald or Balkan or anyone other than angry blak guys.

Them August 8, 2008 at 7:05 am

On the other hand, Ms. Tinker has created something of a national profile, not to mention a political acuity akin to Paris Hilton, plus she’s, as Paris might say, hott, so maybe this is mission accomplished.

Feel free to visit me on the Left Coast, Nikki, and I’ll introduce you around. Out here, people only know that you’re famous, not necessarily what for, so keep that to yourself, willya? You’ll be getting offers from Joe Francis and E! so quickly your head’ll swim.

trophy(forparticipation)wife August 8, 2008 at 7:18 am

Maybe it’s my mood this morning, but I just feel so sad for Nikki and Steve and Tennessee and our country and the world.

trophy(forparticipation)wife August 8, 2008 at 7:19 am

[re=54770]Them[/re]: There’s always Playboy.

RuperttheBear August 8, 2008 at 8:04 am

The next band I join will be called Steve Cohen and the Jews. Our first big song will be titled “Hate Jesus.”

And OUR FLYERS ARE ALREADY PRINTED!

Canuckledragger August 8, 2008 at 8:57 am

You’re all being too hard on Ms. Tinker. After centuries of mistrust between blacks and Jews in the USofA, they have finally bonded in common cause in Tennessee. They have been brought together by the shared singular purpose of ensuring that a shameless bigot isn’t elected. When’s the last time that happened? I’m telling ya, people, when Hopey’s in charge, he oughta make her his personal emissary to the Middle East. Give her a Gestetner machine and unlimited reams of paper, and in no time she’ll have peace breaking out all over.

As Kinky observed, they’re not making Jews like Jesus any more. But Cohen’s a pretty decent step in the right direction. He did, after all, introduce a motion to provide an official apology for Tennessee’s racist history of slavery.

This is such a heart-warming good news story. Nobody cared for the Tinker’s cuss.

I, for one, look forward to IMAX images of Tinker’s taint when she addresses her next crusade: the critical shortage of hot, spineless pole dancers. Bend, baby, bend.

queeraselvis v 2.0 August 8, 2008 at 9:03 am

[re=54731]Neilist[/re]: Well, Nikki advertises herself as an attorney for Pinnacle Airlines, though she’s been “on leave” for about 9 months now.

[re=54771]trophy(forparticipation)wife[/re]: Please please PLEASE do not feel sorry for Nikki. Her campaign has made Hillary’s implosion look like amateur hour. We local voters got subjected to ads featuring an old black gramma “waiting on the porch for her monthly check” (when everybody knows that the Feds don’t send out actual checks anymore, and besides… “waiting on the porch” !?!11?!!). Then Nikki tried the reasoning that because the 9th District was predominately African-American, it didn’t need a white man representing it. And then this latest bullshit, which came on the heels of Cohen’s passing the slavery apology thing in the House. It was almost like Nikki couldn’t find a spot to step where she wasn’t treading in shit.

Sabre_Justice August 8, 2008 at 9:16 am

Man, I just performed in a comedy and even I don’t know how to make this funnier.

Garble August 8, 2008 at 9:32 am

Steve Cohen and the Jews totally sold out after their 2nd album.

TGY August 8, 2008 at 9:33 am

Tinker, tailor, soldier, failer.

mookworthjwilson August 8, 2008 at 9:45 am

[re=54763]WonkaBee[/re]: I wouldn’t be opposed to using his corpse…Jesse Helms could be used as the practice corpse…

thefrontpage August 8, 2008 at 9:49 am

Simply put: Nikki Tinker can go to hell.

She owes a huge apology to Cohen, Jewish people, Cohen’s family, the people of Tennessee, and the KKK.

Not_So_Much August 8, 2008 at 10:38 am

Sure, she’s a retarded bigot. But I’d still totally hit that. Teh crazee might make it more fun!

lawnchair August 8, 2008 at 10:44 am

I’m still kinda bothered that 20% did vote for her, actually. I mean, can’t win ‘em all, but worrisome all the same.

NoWireHangers August 8, 2008 at 10:47 am

Nikki, do the smart thing and run as a Republican. Oh, that’s right. They hate the coloreds.

queeraselvis v 2.0 August 8, 2008 at 10:52 am

[re=54883]lawnchair[/re]: Don’t worry. That 20% was made up entirely of the Memphis Baptist Ministerial Association, the guys behind this. But Nikki Tinker wasn’t involved in this at all. Oh nooooooooo. Not a bit.

Schadenfried August 8, 2008 at 11:11 am

[re=54727]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: I broke into house and revoked her ghetto pass.

lilblackcorvette August 8, 2008 at 11:26 am

OH NO YOU DIN”T GO THERE!

AfghanVet August 8, 2008 at 11:41 am

I blame it on bad graphics. Way too many typefaces and using italics for your main point is a no-go…that’s graphic layout 101 man.

natoslug August 8, 2008 at 12:23 pm

Tinker would’ve done better if slogan hadn’t been “M.F.-er, I want more votes!”

nbawriter August 8, 2008 at 1:09 pm

I think you meant “Udder Failure.”

(Full Disclosure: I lifted that from the LOLMisogynists Web site.)

wallythepug August 8, 2008 at 1:16 pm

Emily’s List should be more careful about who they endorse. A vagina should not be the only requirement.

BadNewsJack August 8, 2008 at 1:47 pm

She’s proof that retard comes in all colors, gender and shapes.

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